Not the Bat

It was the Bat.

No, I swear, it was him, he knew where we were, knew exactly what was going on.

Yeah, well, I guess it didn't work, did it? Cuz I'm telling you, he was waiting for us. What, you think me and six guys got our noses bashed in falling down the stairs or something? He was in the rafters when we walked in, and he just dropped out of the darkness like…like a…like a giant bat! A giant monster ninja bat!

I know. But it's not like I get paid for talking pretty. You get the picture. He landed on Moe's head and did some kinda crazy cartwheel through the air and kicked three other guys out cold in about a second flat. Bam, whack, pow, and he jumped right up on Greg and did some sorta back flip and hit me right in the face and –

All right, all right! Put that away, all right? Look, I'm sorry, you're right, it wasn't him, ok? I didn't mean anything by it, I just, well, you can't blame a guy if he got KO'd by the Bat, right? Not my fault we didn't get the money if we got ambushed by a ninja freak in Kevlar tights.

Actually? Uh, well, it was, well, er, Moe tripped at the top of the stairs and we all fell down and there were these bannister knobs just the size of fists and –

Whoa, whoa! Let go, man! Ow, no, ok, I'm not trying to hide anything, I promise. There's just, well, there's just some things you don't cop to. Not if you ever wanna get taken seriously again.

Um, yeah, worse than busting your face on a bannister.

Well, it really did happen like I told it before, except it wasn't the Bat waiting in the rafters.

No, not him either. Come on, you know he'd just send a bunch of his thugs if he wanted to get in our way. Naw, it was…well, it was a kid.

Yeah, a kid. One kid, all right?

Um, I dunno. Nine or ten, maybe. But look, he wasn't just any kid. I think he was working with the Bat.

Well, he had a cape and a mask. And one of those yellow utility belts like the Bat wears. I'm telling you, this still wasn't my fault. He was like some kinda junior Bat, and the way he moved, it's like he was flying, not even Batman does flips like that! I swear, there's nothing I coulda done different.

You bet I'd recognize him again! His costume was, ah, pretty hard to miss.

Well, he wasn't wearing pants.

Yeah, that's what I said. Also, he was a little less, um, shadowy than the Bat. All yellow and red and green.

How should I know? I never heard about this kid before. Going by the clothing, I'd guess Parrot or something. Capes always want stupid names like that. Batman and Parrot.

Whoa, what are you doing? I told you what happened! I'm telling the truth! Stop!