I know it's been a long, long time since I've updated this one, but I had a burst of inspiration and needed a laugh and this came out. I hope you enjoy more of Harry's ghostly shenanigans.

Driving You Insane

Chapter 3

Voldemort stalked the halls of his manor, heading to the throne room for a meeting with his ever-faithful followers. Everything was falling into place. The Ministry was his, Hogwarts was his, the blasted Order was losing, and slowly the rest of the wizarding world would be his too. Everything was perfect, except-

-Where are we going?-

Voldemort gritted his teeth in frustration as the ghost of Potter floated on his back behind him. "We are not going anywhere. I am going to a meeting."

-Sounds fun!-

"Go away Potter, I've had enough of you!" Voldemort hissed.

-Oh Tom, don't you know by now that you can't get rid of me-

Voldemort stayed silent as the ghost followed behind him singing some god awful song under his breath. He was starting to realize that, but it didn't stop him from trying to find some way to rid himself of the pest. It had been days since the ghost had appeared in front of him and he hadn't had a moment's peace since. Potter was there Every. Single. Moment. While he was eating, while he was sleeping, hell even when he was in the shower! If he weren't the Dark Lord he would have been begging Potter to just leave him be, but he couldn't do that. He was just a ghost, there was nothing he could do to him. He had thought that if he ignored him, he would just go away but that hadn't worked. If anything it just made Potter louder.

-Hey. I have a question. Do you and Nagini have a thing? I mean she's a snake and you're snake-ish. Gasp You can have snake babies! I wonder how that would work...-

"No, Potter I do not have a thing with my familiar. The fact that you can think of such a thing is disturbing."

-I have nothing else to do. It was just one of the things that popped into my mind. It's no wonder you're so angry all the time, you're not getting any-

Voldemort closed his eyes and prayed for patience. It was taking all his strength to not scream and take the smirk off Potter's face.

-Maybe you should ask Bella, I'm sure she would jump at the chance to sleep with you. It won't matter what you look like! Maybe you'd be less of a prick if you got it on-

"No, Potter I will not, get it on as you say, with my followers. Now leave me be!" He snarled and composing himself, opened the door to the throne room.

Potter zoomed-in ahead of him, -Party time!-

Oh Merlin, what was he going to do? It was impossible to get anything done with Potter around.

-That guy looks like he had a bad run-in with a wall- Potter commented as he floated by his side on his stomach, his face in his hands as he looked around the room. –Oooh! There's Snape!- Potter said and zoomed away, leaving Voldemort to start the meeting.

As the meeting commenced, his followers would make their weekly reports and he tried to listen to the important information they conveyed but he kept getting distracted by Potter. He started by Snape, making rude gestures at him, pointing the middle finger in his face, then giving him bunny ears, making it look he had an extra pair of arms. Then he just thrust his hands through his chest. Snape just shuttered and looked around but didn't see anything. Potter then moved on to mess with more of his followers…and him, by way of insults.

-Where's your nose?- came a question from the back of the crowd as Voldemort listened to Lucius talk about the goings-on in the Ministry. -Get some sun, you scaly bastard. You look hideous- came Potter's voice again from the other side of the room. -You're going to lose- came a hiss from up front this time.

"Silence!" Voldemort finally snapped and Malfoy stopped talking, eyes wide.

-No one loves you- came Potter's voice in the silence.

Voldemort looked around trying to track where Potter was but he lost track of him.

"M-My Lord?"

"What?" he snapped, then realized that Lucius was speaking to him. He straightened in his seat and told himself to relax. "Continue."

Lucious shifted uncertainly but continued with his report. He didn't know what was going on with the Dark Lord lately, but he wanted to finish his report quickly and go home before he lashed out at someone. Preferably not him.

-Someone is losing their touch- Potter's voice echoed and there, he could see him….doing the backstroke on the ground through his followers.

Ignore him. Ignore him, Voldemort thought.

-Ugh! Gross! This one isn't wearing underwear!- Potter yelled -I can see his junk!- He zoomed up into the air gagging, holding his throat and pretending to vomit. -You should make underwear mandatory Tom, that's just nasty-

Voldemort closed his eyes and tried not to react and continued listening to Lucius' report. That was until Potter found Bella.

Potter circled Bella and stuck out his tongue at her, twirling his finger around his head in the trademark crazy gesture. -Crazy, crazy Bella. You certainly have a screw loose or five- Potter said, then he started doing karate moves right through her, -Hi-ya! Ha! Hoowaaa, yah! – Potter exclaimed loudly pretending to chop her head off making her shudder and look around in anger. Potter just laughed loudly.

Stop that! Voldemort hissed in parseltongue.

-Stop that- Potter mocked in parseltongue, hands on his hips -Stop that, Stop that- he said again. He then flew through Bella…but didn't come out for a second, when he did, Potter looked at his hands in amazement then a slow grin spread across his face and he dove into Bella.

Bella blinked for a second before she stood up straight, clapped her hands above her head, and shouted "BAH-GAWK!"

Everyone in the room turned to look at Bella who was slowly putting her hands back down with a wide-eyed look full of disbelief. Potter was on the floor looking tired but satisfied. "M-my lord, I-I'm sorry. I-I don't…" Bella stammered.

"Dismissed!" he just said unable to take anymore. "Get out of my sight."

The Death Eaters didn't need to be told twice and apparated out.

-Aw. Party's over- Potter said as they left. -Remember to wear your underwear next time!- he called after them.

Voldemort closed his eyes and massaged his temples. Then he opened his eyes and was face to face with bright green ones making him jump back.

Potter laughed -You keep falling for that-

"Go away," he told the specter.

-Nope- Potter just said, then dove at him.

A strange feeling came over him, like the Imperious Curse, but different, cold. He struggled against the foreign invasion, but couldn't. Instead, his hands slapped his face and he let out a yodel to the empty room."Yodel-ay-ee-ooooo!"

Potter then appeared to fall out of him and onto the floor panting and laughing his head off.

"What. Did. You Do?" Voldemort snapped at him.

-I don't know- Potter said truthfully, then he grinned as he got up sweeping imaginary dust off his clothes. -But this is going to be so much fun-

That's it for now. I hope you liked it. If you have any ideas for anything that Harry might get up to, please pass them my way, I need more ideas for this one. It's just a crack fic, but I love Ghost Harry. Leave your comments to let me know.

Stay safe out there!