This is my first FanFiction, I hope you enjoy. I want to thank BlackhawkCarol and Jmts2012. Without their coaxing I would have never discovered this fun and scary hobby. Also without them this story would never have been suitable to read :) I hope you know how much ALL your help has meant to me and unfortunately saying THANK YOU does not seem enough.

Happy Reading!

A Plum of a Journey

Chapter One

I turned thirty-four a little over two weeks ago. The last year and a half of my life could be described as amazing, scary, heart-breaking and earth shattering but probably astounding would best fit. I couldn't have imagined I would be in the place I am now no matter how big I dreamed. But perhaps most astonishing of all was the fact I hadn't been covered in garbage for any of it.

I'd had so many expectations of what I would own and what I'd be doing by this point in my life. Had any of what I'd dreamed come true?

No.

It's not to say that my life was bad. I enjoyed what I did on most occasions. I loved my little space of an apartment, which was also home to my best hamster friend Rex. Also good in my life were, and still are, my best people friend Mary Lou and my immediate coworkers Connie and Lula.

As with anything in life, there are positives and negatives. The not-so-great things in mine were once Vinnie—my other co-worker/boss/cousin—and the amount of money I didn't make. Oh—and when my apartment got broken into. I hated that.

Smack in the middle of the good and bad was my family. Depending on the day of the week, what my Grandma Mazur was up to and how pushy my mother was being about the direction of my life, they could have fallen under either the good or bad. Of course, let's not forget my sister and her family. If I had to hear about her "Cuddle Umpkins" too much, she was definitely in the bad column.

And yet—no matter the mayhem, I loved them all.

A person I would count on the good side of life brought on this whole self-evaluation process and change. At the time, neither of us had any idea of the year that awaited us.

It was a day just like any of my other normal days. No one was after me, and all my skips were your standard drunks and thieves—all easily caught and brought in without incident. I was able to buy some groceries, pay a few bills and have money left over.

Also as far as normal days went, I spotted Joe Morelli's SUV in the parking lot of my apartment when I arrived home. As I made my way up the stairs to my apartment, all I could think was 'I had a good day, but I'm about to have a fabulous night'!

I should have known by now that not all things work out as planned, but it still didn't make it any less disappointing. Morelli was not there to give me a night of passion. He wasn't even there to deliver Pino's. He was in my apartment to give me news that would send my already complicated world into a tailspin.

Unlocking my door, I had to rethink what I saw outside. All was quiet in my apartment, and just a single light in the kitchen was on.

"Hi, Cupcake. How was your day?" Joe asked, startling me. He was sitting at my dining room table with a beer. He seemed wary for some reason. Probably tired. I knew he had been working long hours on a set of murders that I thankfully hadn't found myself a part of in one way or another—yet.

"Hey, it was alright. Yours? Where's Bob?" Setting my purse on the table, I made my way toward Joe to give him a peck on the cheek before getting my own beer.

"Bob is at Mooch's. He's going to be staying there for a while."

"You're giving Bob to Mooch! Why?" I couldn't think of a good enough reason Joe would give away Bob, especially to Mooch. My mind was swirling with all the items Bob must have had to destroy in order to get passed along.

"No, I'm not giving him to Mooch; he's just going to be staying there while I am out of town on an assignment."

Joe looked so handsome sitting there. He wasn't especially relaxed, but the way the light from the kitchen captured him was pretty breath taking.

"What assignment? Where are you going?"

"You know those high end store break-ins I was telling you about last week?"

"Yeah."

Morelli always has so many cases going on at once, it's sometimes hard to keep track of them all.

Joe's hands scrubbed his face. He was exhausted. "Well, there's a connection between the break-ins here and some in Pennsylvania. They're bringing me in to work both areas. I'll be here and there until the case is wrapped."

"Oh—when will that be?"

Hopefully not too long. My nights would get lonely—okay the days would too!

"I have no idea, and from the news I got just before you walked in, it won't be anytime soon. That's what I came here to tell you. Your phone is dead."

"It's not undercover work though, so you're going to be able to keep in touch, right?"

"That's the other thing. This case has so many different pieces going, I really don't know if I'm going to have time."

Something was off about what Joe was saying. He didn't go out of town often without me, and I really couldn't remember the last time he'd gone completely undercover. Since we'd been together he'd always stayed in contact with me when something like this came up.

"What are you really saying?" I couldn't help that it came out with a tinge too much attitude, and my hands went straight to my hips.

"I think." Joe let out a very loud sigh and stood, throwing his empty beer in the trash. When he looked back at me, his eyes weren't just tired. They were sad. "I think we need a break—a real break."

WH-What!

"We need a break. Why? Why would we need a break?"

This last year had been trying for both Joe and me. Between the usual hang-ups with my job and my little adventure to Hawaii with Ranger, our relationship had become overly complicated to say the least.

"You know, Steph, half the time I'm not even sure if we're off or on. How old are we? I know you aren't the only one to blame here, but I need something—" He paused, and I held my breath.

"Something different."

"And what would that be?" Now I was officially angry. Where had that come from?

"I'm not sure, but permanent would be a good start. As far as I can tell, you aren't interested in making a permanent 'on' with me."

"What makes you think that?"

Joe looked at me like I had sprouted horns. "You're kidding, right? What have you said or done in the last year that shows you want a stable relationship—shit—probably the last three years!" His voice was slowly escalating, and I could feel my temper rising right along with it.

"Yeah? Well, what about you?" I knew as soon as I said it, it was the wrong thing to say. Pride was one of my stronger qualities, and I just flat out refused to back down.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about," Joe said disgustedly. "I'll see you around."

"Joe, wait—"

I stepped into the doorway separating the dining area and hallway, trying to prevent him from leaving.

"No. I can't do this right now. I've got too much other shit going on. I know I haven't always been perfect, but I've done my fair share of standing by and supporting you."

I stood there, mouth open and not moving, and as a result, Joe was able to get around me and to the door. Right before closing it behind him, he paused, turned around and stared at me.

"Don't forget to lock your doors, Cupcake."

And he left.

After spending several days crying like a baby and drowning my sorrow with Tasty Cakes and chocolate ice cream, Lula decided I needed to get a grip. After she called and left five too many voicemails, I finally returned her calls. Looking back now, I'd say that day was when I'd subconsciously started making subtle changes.

"Why you so worked up about this whole breakup thing?" Lula asked when I finished explaining my absence from work. "It's not like this is your first go round on the carousal."

She had a point. Joe and I had been breaking up and getting back together for the better part of the last three years.

"Something is different about this breakup. It was calm," I replied in somewhat of a daze.

"Girl, I know just the thing to take your mind off his hot ass. We should—"

"Lula, I think for the first time in my life I can say I've had enough sugar. I don't want donuts," I interrupted. Didn't she realize food couldn't solve all problems? Obviously she'd never awakened with the stomachache I had this morning after my little binge.

"Donuts? Hell no—you need shoes!" she said, as if I was supposed to know this was the automatic cure-all.

"Huh? Shoes?"

"Shoes make the mood. Isn't that what they always saying in those fashion magazines?"

When I didn't respond, she took the lead. "I'll be there in fifteen. You probably haven't showered in a few days, so hurry your ass up."

I sat there for a second after she hung up and realized I didn't have a choice. I jumped into the shower and took a quarter of the time I usually did. Looking in the mirror, I scared myself but decided it didn't matter. There was no one to impress anyway.

Pulling up my jeans and hoping they'd button, I heard Lula arrive, knocking louder than necessary. I grabbed my bag from where I'd placed it the night Joe was over and opened the door to find Lula still pounding away.

"Alright, I'm here! Let's go," I said tersely, not even trying to hide my annoyance with her pushiness.

"Testy much?" she shot back.

Instead of responding, I let out a low growl of frustration hoping she'd get the hint. I wasn't in the mood to shop. I wanted to crawl back into bed and stay there.

The whole trip through the mall was awkward. I didn't feel like talking, and anytime Lula would ask a personal question I'd find myself walking away. After three hours at all the major department stores, I'd come up empty handed while Lula had found four new pairs of shiny shoes.

"Whew—all this shopping worked me up an appetite! I say we hit the food court before I drop your grumpy ass home."

Now that I could agree on! After finally deciding on Chinese fare, we made our way to a table.

"Now that you can't run away from me, I want some answers. Why are you so damn upset? Don't you have Ranger?" she started in on me before I had the first bite in my mouth.

Ugh—Ranger.

I hadn't even thought about him in the past two days. Actually, the more I thought about it, I hadn't given Ranger much space in my mind since the last FTA I had needed help with—and that'd been over two weeks ago!

Deciding she wouldn't stop if I didn't open my mouth, I gave her the best answer I could think of. "Ranger is out of town. He's working on an employee issue in Boston."

"I know that, but aren't you having some late night phone conversations?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes and waggling eyebrows.

"Lula! Jeez—no! I haven't talked to him since before he left." Which was true. What I didn't tell her was he'd stopped by at an ungodly hour thinking he was going to get into my bed. After I'd turned him down, he'd let me know he was heading out of town and to call him if I needed anything.

"Huhn! I was just assuming you two had something going on since the whole bake off."

I rolled my eyes at the memory of that time not so long ago.

After the week in Hawaii and the return home, something changed in both of my relationships. With Ranger, I couldn't pinpoint exactly what had happened, but I thought the change was me. I'd started to feel cheap. I knew I owed the man for saving my life numerous times, but I no longer wanted to use my body as payment.

So much for ruining me for all other men.

As for Joe—he'd turned into the man of mystery. I couldn't figure out where we stood, but then again, I guess he'd made that perfectly clear three nights ago.

"No," I replied. "There's nothing going on with Ranger and me. We're coworkers and friends."

"But you still want yourself some Batman?" she asked, almost as a statement.

"No! I'm off men, remember?" I let out in a huff. Okay off men except when Morelli would come over, but it was a start and now that he'd said goodbye, I was definitely off men.

Rolling her eyes at me, she took a minute to think about what she was going to say next. She pushed her plate aside and a slow smile crept upon her face. Taking out a pen and a pad of paper from her purse, she ripped two pages from the pad and drew a horizontal line down the middle of each page.

The look of confusion must have been easily read upon my face.

"Since the whole bake off idea didn't work, we're gonna make a pro and con list. This one will be for Batman, and this one will be for Officer Hottie," she said, still smiling while she wrote the names on the papers.

"Alright, what are some good qualities in Batman?" she asked expectantly.

I looked down at my plate and realized I'd barely touched my food. I suddenly wasn't very hungry. I suspect it was because, as usual, I couldn't believe what Lula was suggesting.

Clearing her throat Lula started, "He gives you cars and he keeps track of you." She wrote both things down in the pro column.

I answered automatically. "I'm not sure keeping track of me all the time is a good quality." While I definitely appreciated Ranger when the need arose, having him monitor my every movement was definitely bothersome on most occasions. I felt badly for being negative, so I offered, "Uh—he's nice."

"That's all you got? He's nice? Girl, he is one nice, fine piece of love. He's freakin' Batman! All dark and full of mystery. You never did say, but my guess is he is freak in bed!"

Thinking that my not responding was an attempt to be mature, Lula decided it must be the truth. She wrote down 'freak in sac'.

Sigh.

Yeah, Ranger was great in bed, but outside of bed, he didn't offer much of what I was looking for.

"Okay, fine—you don't want to talk about Ranger. So let's do Morelli." Lula sat back in her seat pondering while I went through my mental list of all the things that were good about Joe.

Letting out a longing sigh, I started, "Morelli cooks, and he's funny and really loving. He takes out the garbage, and he's always there for me day or night—even when he's mad at me or really busy at work." I found myself wishing I could've appreciated these qualities before he became so distant. I could feel myself tearing up.

"Fine, he takes out the garbage. But you can't forget he's a cop. I mean now you have to come up with about fifty things to make up for him bein' a cop!" Lula said with disgust, still scribbling on the papers.

Had I not just said several redeeming traits about Joe? I understood Lula got hives every time cops were around, but my goodness—had she really had even one horrible experience with a single cop since she'd turned her life around?

"Lula, I really don't feel like doing this. I don't want Ranger, and Ranger doesn't want me. As for Joe—it's like the old saying 'you don't know what you have until it's gone'. And Joe is definitely gone."

"Ranger doesn't want you? Girl, he looks at you like you're a piece of friggin' meat every time I see him around you! You get all starry-eyed and drool."

"Exactly! I don't want to be a piece of meat! And when was the last time you saw me look like that? Things have changed, Lula. It's just not the same anymore." Realizing my appetite was completely gone, I added, "I'm ready to go home. I have a lot to think about."

Things were tense in the car. To add to my already cruddy mood, Lula's car decided to have mechanical problems on the freeway. Nothing like a cloud of smoke and popping noises to brighten a day.

"Not my baby!" Lula cried in mortification. "This is when I need myself a Ranger to come to my rescue!" She darted a look at me. "Uh—think you could call Tank?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure that is such a good idea. Let's just call a tow truck and then a cab."

I was trying to keep my distance from anything Ranger. I'd taken enough from him over the years. How many cars had I blown up? How many times had I been forced to stay with him for one reason or another? How many of his men had been injured while on "Stephanie detail"? Too many. And how had I repaid him? Worst of all, I'd been reduced to a line item—a freaking line item on someone's entertainment budget! The only part of a budget I wanted to be a part of was for hours worked.

I was tired of feeling guilty about everything. Guilt from taking more from Ranger than I could give back. Guilt over letting Ranger cross the line. Guilt over not being honest with Joe. Guilt over not giving Joe what he needed and deserved.

I needed change and fast.

It became obvious Lula was overly upset over her car, because she turned and looked at me with crazy eyes, "Oh, so anytime something happens to you—you call him, but the one time I need help you can't get anyone from Rangeman here? What kind of friend are you?"

Whoa.

I sat there for a moment shocked at the anger in her tone. Then I found myself supplying my own anger to the situation. "Half the time Ranger shows up!" I tried to take a calming breath. "Listen, things are complicated, and I just don't want to add to the list of items borrowed from him anymore, okay? We can handle this like normal people. We don't need someone to run to our rescue all the time!"

Digging my phone out of my purse, I called a local tow company and a cab. It actually felt really good to deal with this as an adult. I had to smile over my assertiveness, and that smile was still on my face when I got home—that is until I saw my answering machine blinking ferociously.

Since I was on a roll dealing with things like an adult—or at least one thing—I saddled up and listened to the messages. Before I pressed the play button, my eye started to twitch in anticipation that at least half would be from my mother.

I was correct. My mother was worried because I hadn't stopped by to filch any food in the last couple of weeks, so she'd assumed I hadn't eaten. Why was not stopping by to grab food such a bad thing? But the more I thought about it, I realized I hadn't eaten much of anything that last week other than sugar and...sugar. And before that it'd been fast food.

Something to think about.

Deciding my best course of action would be to call my mother back and let her know I was alive, I took a few deep breaths and dialed.

"Stephanie! I was so worried!" were the first words out of my mother's mouth. As if that hadn't come through loud and clear on the seven messages she'd left me!

"Uh, yeah—sorry about that. I guess I lost track of how long it'd been. Sorry," I said again, trying to sound sincere.

"Well, are you coming for dinner tonight? Your sister, Albert and the girls will be over. When was the last time you saw them?"

As much as I wanted to say no, my mom was right. I loved my nieces, and I hadn't seen them in at least a few months. "Yes, I'll be there before six."

Luckily, it was still early. I had time for a nap before entering mayhem central. Turning off my cell phone and setting my alarm, I was out like a light. My body definitely was making up for the many lost hours of sleep from the last few evenings.

After a successful meal, my mother, Val and I sat drinking coffee and eating cookies while the kids and men were watching the Sunday movie special.

"Where's Grandma Mazur?" I asked, suddenly realizing she hadn't been picked up for a viewing at Stiva's.

"Her arthritis is acting up. I think she took one of her pain pills before dinner. She's never herself when she has one in her," replied my mother with obvious concern on her face.

"I've noticed she's been a lot quieter lately." Val chimed in.

I hadn't been to a meal there in a while. I felt sad I'd been so wrapped in my own world that I hadn't seen the change. Grandma had made her usual off color remarks, but she hadn't had the same enthusiasm. I guess that's what happened with age.

The following day started with me dreading the thought of getting ready for work. That had been happening more and more of late. I used to live for the thrill of chasing skips. Now it seemed I would wake up and groan at the thought of going after one more toothless or naked man or having the chase somehow be reversed.

After dressing in my usual jeans, t-shirt and CAT boots, I decided a quick stop at Tasty Pastry would get me in a little more upbeat mood for the day.

Walking in, I saw Angelina, one of Joe's sister-in-laws, talking to Lorraine while checking out. We had run into each other a few times and would make polite conversation while at family gatherings, but I wouldn't necessarily call us friends. When she turned to leave, she made immediate eye contact with me, and her smile turned into a bit of a grimace. Nodding her head in acknowledgment, she walked out the door. Weird! I wondered if she knew Joe and I were officially over. Our relationship had been in limbo for quite a while now, so it wasn't like the Burg gossip loop was running rampant with the news.

While making my selection of doughnuts, Lorraine seemed oddly quiet, and by the time she met me at the register, she'd finally decided to talk. Yet it was as if she couldn't decide how to start.

Blowing out a puff of air, I figured I'd help her out. "Spit it out. What have you heard?" I demanded.

Looking completely relieved, she started, "So Joe's moving to Pennsylvania, huh?"

I'm almost one hundred percent sure my eyes bugged out of my head. Reeling back in my reaction—since it was probably best not to react in a way that would add fuel to the gossip fire—I went for a nonchalant response.

"Where did you hear that? That's interesting. Probably just a misunderstanding."

"No, that was what Angelina was talking about before you walked in."

Suddenly donuts didn't sound at all appealing. I couldn't believe it—Joe was moving away! My stomach hurt. Quickly paying for the donuts and coffee, I all but ran back to my truck and immediately threw the bakery box onto the passenger seat and put my head on the steering wheel, trying to catch my breath. Thinking about my options, I called Joe's cell. We hadn't talked since he was at the apartment, and although I knew it wasn't any of my business, I wanted to know if what I'd heard was true. It took three rings for someone to pick up—but it wasn't Joe who answered.

"Joe?"

"No ma'am. There's no Joe here."

"I'm sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number."

I hung up and stared at the phone. There was no way I'd dialed the wrong number. I'd simply hit two for speed dial. The same number had been programmed in that spot for the last two years—well at least since I'd purchased that phone, and I'd managed to keep it for the last six months. There was no possible way was it had been the wrong number.

Okay, time to try speed dial number three—Joe's house. Immediately I was assaulted with the annoying beeping and then the cheery operator's voice letting me know the number had been disconnected.

I felt tears pricking my eyes. It seemed what Angelina and Lorraine had said was true. In less than a week, Joe had moved. I couldn't picture him moving away from his family and friends. It was rare that a Burger would move away, and even rarer that I wouldn't have heard. The last we spoke he never mentioned a move. How could he have done anything like that without telling me? I took another deep breath.

It's your own damn fault. You're the one that couldn't just deal with how you felt and let him know you wanted and needed him. It's none of your business what he does now.

The days seemed to fly by. I heard nothing more about Joe moving out of state. I wasn't sure whether it was because people knew I had no idea or if maybe everyone else had seen it coming but me, but not a word was spoken to me about it. Every time my mind would wander to Joe, I'd block it out. Everything in life was easier to deal with if you didn't confront it right? I couldn't do a thing about our situation anyway, so what was the use of dwelling there?

It was Sunday morning. The bonds office was closed, and the weather was decent for the middle of winter. The holidays were behind me and spring was ahead. I'd wrestled with a wily skip the day before and had torn yet another pair of jeans. Seeing as I had only one pair left, it was definitely going to be a shopping day, and I actually had money in my bank account to spend.

Feeling pretty good about the jeans I was able to pick up on sale plus a few tops, my last stop was the shoe department. Lula had been right about shoes making the mood. Every pair I owned reminded me of Joe in one way or another—whether I'd had worn them going to an event with him or just worn them for him. It was a painful realization. Since I hadn't had any contact with him in over two months, it was time to get some shoes that would create their own mood.

I was starting to get a little upset about the fact I couldn't find a single pair of shoes that I wanted. I was always able to find shoes! Suddenly I heard a ladies voice behind me, saying, "Stephanie Plum?"

Slowly turning around, I replied warily, "Yes?" I was always recognized, and it wasn't always a good thing. However, when I saw who had said my name, the wariness was immediately gone—replaced with happiness and nostalgia.

"Marisa! It's been...omigod—forever! How are you? What are you doing now?" Standing before me was my very pregnant former co-worker. She was a little shorter than me with blonde hair and blue eyes and a radiant pregnancy glow.

"Yes, it has. Oh, my gosh—you look great, Steph! Life has been good," she said while rubbing her abounding baby bump and making her way over to give me a hug. "I've seen you in the papers here and there since the 'great' E. E. Martin days." She said the last part oozing with sarcasm.

I did a big eye roll and laughed with her.

"I'm a buyer for Macy's," Marisa continued. "Well at least until this one comes along."

I couldn't help but envy how happy she looked. Life had obviously been good to her for the last four years. I wished I could say the same.

"I'm just finishing up this inventory. Do you mind waiting a few minutes for me? I'd love to catch up over some lunch. We're starving." she added with a wink.

Over lunch we got caught up. She told me about her ever-expanding family, and I told her about a few of my bounty hunting exploits that she hadn't read in the paper. As things were winding down, she looked at me with a little bit of apprehension.

"I know you have a job, and although it sounds crazy, you seem to like it, but is there anything else you would rather do?" Marisa asked.

Our conversation had been incredibly lighthearted until this point. Not only had I been losing love for the career I'd chosen on accident, but also it was a stickler for my mother and at times for Morelli. For them it was mostly because I always found danger ahead. I couldn't put any one reason on why I didn't like my job anymore. Maybe I missed feeling safe. Maybe I was just evolving. I honestly didn't know.

Choosing the honest route, I let out a slight sigh. It would be the first time I'd admitted this out loud. "You know, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I don't necessary love or hate it—I just don't know what else I'd do. There was a time a few years back that I tried quitting and doing a few other jobs, but I would always find myself in some kind of ugly situation. I really haven't a clue what I would do."

Memories of blowing up the Cluck-in-a-Bucket and the whole Mama Macaroni fiasco came flooding back.

Marisa's eyes lit up at my admission. "As I recall, you were damn good at E. E. Martin. I've been searching the last month for a temporary replacement while I'm out on maternity leave. I haven't found a single person I'd like to fill the spot. What do you think? Would you like to step into my shoes for a few months?"

"Uh—I—I don't know. It's been so long." I was trying to think back about what I'd hated about being a purchaser. Firstly, it'd been in Newark. Oddly enough, the only other thing that sprang to mind was that I'd been a buyer of oversized underwear. Marisa was the regional purchaser of shoes! Shoes! I loved shoes!

"Oh, come on," Marisa encouraged. "It's like riding a bike. Only this bike isn't owned by the mob and has better pay and way better benefits!"

When she put the opportunity like that, all the small drawbacks I remembered started getting pushed back. "How temporary is temporary?"

"I'd have to go over everything with my higher ups, but if you were interested, which I really hope you are, we'd start training almost immediately in order to get you up to speed before my leave begins. We'd be working together on everything. I'm planning on taking a full three months of maternity leave. Depending on what's going on at that time, you can maybe transfer to another department or out of state if all the bosses are impressed enough. And I have no doubt they would be."

Her smile was a mile wide after blurting all that out. She acted like I'd said yes already. Part of me wanted to, but I was so afraid of change.

"Tell you what—let me roll this over in my mind for a few days. When can you have all the details for me?"

"By the end of the week. Oh, Steph, one more thing," Marisa said nervously.

"Yeah?"

"My job is in Philadelphia—where the main Macy's is."

"Oh, that's not far from here." I couldn't imagine why she'd be so nervous telling me this.

"No—no—it's not, but I tried commuting for a while from New Jersey to Philly, and I only lasted two months. The traffic can wreak havoc on your nerve endings," she finished with a timid smile.

"Well, I guess it's just one more thing to think about," I said, while deep down I was freaking out! I mean, I'd never lived away from the Burg other than college, and even then, I'd only lasted six months in the dorm before I was back home. And that had only been forty-five minutes away—the same distance as Philly.

Deep breaths!

That evening I went to my parents' house for dinner. I had a lot weighing on me and going to my childhood home seemed like it would have all the answers. When I arrived Grandma was zonked out in front of the television watching the weather with my father in his recliner reading the paper. I didn't usually do a whole lot of introspective thinking, but I had found myself doing it more and more lately. Deciding that maybe I needed a voice that wasn't inside my head to help me sift through my thoughts, I went into the kitchen to take advantage of alone time with my mother.

I knew I hadn't been sleeping well in the time after Joe's and my split, but I really didn't think an outsider could tell. Obviously I thought wrong. My mother immediately put down the spatula she was using to stir sauce with and made the sign of the cross.

"Stephanie, dear, are you alright?"

With those words I couldn't stop the tears forming in my eyes. Not trusting my voice I shook my head 'no'. The lump in my throat was growing larger the harder I tried to hold it back, and finally it broke with a giant sob.

My family doesn't show emotion or physical affection, so my mother did the only thing she knew, which was to have me sit at the little kitchenette and placed a couple oatmeal cookies on a plate along with a glass of milk in front of me. This was such a Helen Plum move that my tears changed to a bitter laugh. Despite my surprise, I suddenly realized part of why I always kept myself detached from situations was partially the way I'd been raised.

As a family we never showed the good emotions. I mean we would laugh together sometimes, but we never really celebrated the good things. Maybe a pat on the back or a tight smile, but any sadness was definitely off limits. However, none of us ever seemed to have any problem showing the angry side of ourselves.

My laughing stopped, and I was again flooded with tears, remembering all the tenderness Joe had shown me through the years. Whether it was a kiss on my cheek or forehead, holding me at night when I would have a nightmare or just being there for me at the end of a hard day. Don't get me wrong; the few times I cried he'd definitely get uncomfortable but would still remain by my side. I tried to be there for Morelli, but now I know I could have tried much harder. I could have asked how his day was more often or made sure he had a few more clean socks. Anything was probably better than the stress I caused him on a regular basis—even when things were uneventful in my life.

We had a yet another quiet dinner since Grandma had taken another pill for her joints. It seemed like only yesterday Grandma had been up doing or saying something that would make my mother run to the liquor cabinet. The few times I'd been over for dinner lately she'd definitely been changing. I hated to think this would be who she was from now on. As long as I could remember, Grandma had been loud and vibrant, never letting anyone or anything get in the way of whatever her mission had been at the time. Whether it was lifting the lid on a coffin or buying a Corvette despite not having a driver's license, she'd always been up to something.

Finally breaking the silence, I went ahead and chose to discuss the main reason for my visit. "I got a job offer today."

Instantly my mother put down her fork and perked up. "Oh really? For what? Where?" Excitement for the end of me being a bounty hunter was plain as day.

"Well, I really don't think I am going to take it, but it would be a temporary position at Macy's east coast headquarters as the regional purchaser for shoes."

"Why wouldn't you take a position like that?" My mother questioned, again, not hiding her disappointment at the possibility of me turning it down.

"It's in Philadelphia, so I'd have to move closer. Plus, there are some other things I have to consider," I said with twirl of my hand, trying my best to believe what I'd just said when in reality I had no idea what else I had to consider.

"It would be a shame not to have you close by, but it sounds like an exciting opportunity," my mother said, pushing me along. And here I thought she wouldn't be able to stretch the umbilical cord that far. At that point, I let the conversation fall off. I'd come for support and was surprised I'd received it. Yet, I still felt like something was holding me back.

I was at the door ready to go with leftovers and a few other items when my mother grabbed my arm.

"Stay here for just a second."

Standing in the foyer, I had no idea what she was up to. She came back with two big boxes and one smaller box. All three were wrapped in what looked like wedding paper wrap. Before I could register a thought, she continued,

"I bought these a couple of years ago." She paused as if she weren't sure she wanted to continue. Finally, she added, "They were meant for when you and Joseph were going to get married. They may come in handy if you do decide to take this job."

What was she talking about? What could be in the boxes?

"Uh, thank you," I replied. She walked me out to my truck and placed the boxes in the back seat. We stood there awkwardly for a moment before she brushed a quick kiss across my cheek that had me momentarily stunned, and then she turned and walked back to the porch.

I climbed into the driver's side and glanced back at the house. There were so many good and bad memories that had come from this house, but really wasn't that what life was like? Not everything could be good all the time. Was it time for me to make my own memories away from the place where I had established myself?

As soon as I got home, curiosity took over. What could be in the boxes? Lugging them into the elevator and into my apartment, I set everything on my dining table. Opening the smallest box first, I shouldn't have been surprised. It contained a cooking utensil carousal complete with anything you would need to cook and bake, along with a small knife block and knives. I could only take a guess as to what was in the other two boxes. Tearing both open, my suspicions were confirmed. The biggest box was a 12-piece pot and pans set, and the other box was a baking set. The only surprise was what looked like a homemade spiral cookbook. Flipping through the pages, all the recipes were for Joe's and my favorite dishes. Although the majority of them were the same, there were a few I knew were just Joe's such as the cabbage rolls.

Tears rolled down my cheeks at rapid speed at the sight of such a simple thing.

Two months ago I never would have thought I'd have absolutely no Joe in my life. I hadn't seen or heard neither hide nor hair from him. Did he change his numbers because of me? Was he that desperate to separate himself from me? And I still couldn't figure out why he hadn't mentioned anything about moving away. It hurt. Couldn't he have at least considered being my friend? Allowing myself to think about everything I was trying so hard to block from my mind sent me into choking sobs.

Getting into the shower, I let all my emotions come out hoping it would be cleansing. Maybe I could wash away all the depressed and lonely thoughts if I let them go down the drain. I stood there long after the water turned cold, until all tears were gone and there were no more to be spent.

I climbed into bed utterly exhausted and changed my thoughts to tomorrow. It was Monday—a fresh start. I'd go into work with a smile on my face and capture all of the FTA's Connie had lined up for me.

Monday came and went, along with Tuesday and now Wednesday. I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad I hadn't heard from Marisa. I knew she had all my current contact information since I'd given her one of my business cards. I was starting to get nervous she and her bosses had decided I wasn't qualified enough.

By Tuesday night, something had come over me, and I had attempted to make one of my mom's recipes. I knew I could cook a little, but after having managed to excessively burn the casserole, I decided to take on something slightly simpler. I stopped by the store and grabbed a beginners cookbook, thumbing through the pages until I was able to find something that sounded easy and good. Taking the book with me, I then collected all the items I'd need and headed home.

I could see the red and blue lights flashing long before I pulled into the parking lot. As soon as I saw the fire tuck spraying the side of the building that my apartment was on, I mentally went through my list of recent FTA's. No one would want to fire bomb my apartment again! The last pyro I dealt with was long ago locked up and still there as far as I knew. I parked at the far end of my lot, keeping my fingers crossed that Rex was okay.

Getting out of the truck, I headed toward the main lobby. In my peripheral vision, I saw a lone dark figure making its way over.

Turning my head, I should have known.

"Ranger."

"Babe."

"I didn't know you were back. Why are you here?"

"Just got back a few days ago. I came when I heard your address over the scanner." He looked up at the apartment. "It wasn't yours for once. Mrs. Delgado's cat put some toy with cat nip next to the gas stove while it was on and set the place on fire."

In a rush, I expelled all the air I was holding, "Wow, that's great." Realizing how that sounded, I added, "I mean that's really unfortunate, but I was sure it was my apartment."

Letting a small smile form, Ranger hooked his arm around my neck. "Rex is around here somewhere. One of your neighbors grabbed him just in case. Why don't you see what you can collect and head over to RangeMan? Your apartment is still intact, but they won't be letting anyone back in tonight because of all the smoke."

I shouldn't have been surprised by the offer from Ranger, but I was still trying to distance myself from him for my own good.

I took a step back to get out of the embrace. "Thanks, but I think I'll go stay with my parents. It's been a long day, and I haven't eaten dinner." I said it in all my most confident voice that always seemed to fail me when around Ranger.

"Babe," he paused. "I can't remember the last time you said yes to something I offered. Why are you acting so weird?"

Acting weird? Acting like my true self was acting weird?

Rolling my eyes, I met his gaze. It was time for some honesty. "I feel like I do nothing but take from you. And I think it should stop."

Wow, that felt pretty good.

"No price—remember, Babe."

"Yeah, I know that's how it was supposed to be, but it's not. I've paid a price by feeling guilty among other things."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Alright—your loss. Let me know of you need anything," he said, giving me a brief kiss on my forehead before turning and walking back to his Turbo.

I'm not sure what reaction I was expecting when I gave my honest answer, but it hadn't been this. It reinforced that, no, he did not care as much as I'd allowed myself to believe he did. I guess you could say the same about me. I know Ranger will always hold a special place in my heart, and it was nice to know we were on the same playing field.

Packing an overnight bag and then grabbing Rex from one of my neighbors, I headed over to my parents' house. It was well after seven o'clock by the time I arrived, so my mom fixed me plate and chatted with me about this and that while I ate. I was all too happy to hear that Grandma Mazur had attended a viewing with one of her girlfriends, and they were going out to play bingo afterward.

I watched the evening news with my father and then made my way up to my old bedroom, calling it an early night. Before I closed my eyes, I made sure to say a silent thank you for Rex's and my safety and also for always having a place for us to go.

Thursday arrived, and I was just dropping off my last skip. I planned on going home and lounging after picking up Rex. I already figured my mom would send me home with food, so I didn't need to stop at the store. Ghostbusters and popcorn for dessert sounded like a great night. It was the first time in a while I was looking forward to an evening alone.

Waiting for my body receipt, I heard an all too familiar voice, and my breath caught. Looking behind me, my eyes followed Joe who was walking with a gorgeous leggy red head with the most beautiful green eyes. She was sex in heels, and he was leading her to the door with his hand at the small of her back.

I had to look away and catch my breath. My heart was pounding out of my chest and felt as if it shattered when I looked back up to see him give this tramp a kiss on the lips.

I know it was awful of me to think of someone I didn't know in such a bad way. But she'd just kissed Joe.

On the lips!

Those were my lips. Again I had to remind myself that no part of him was mine and hadn't been in quite some time. As Andy, the docket lieutenant, passed me my receipt my cell rang. The read out displayed Marisa's number.

Quickly flipping my phone open, I put my head down and passed Joe and his new love interest while answering.

"I hope you haven't been sitting on pins and needles waiting for my call," she laughed. "We just got everything straightened out and would like to offer you my position. We made some changes, and I've decided to take a year off since I'll have three kids under 5. I can send you over the incentive package and agreement overnight as soon as you make the decision." Excitement was pouring out of her.

Without thinking twice, I said. "Send it out. I'll take it."