Hello everyone! No, this is not a, actual update or fix, but just a heads up that the next story is up now! Sorry for the extra long wait...

Can I just say...the love I got from this story seriously was absolutely incredible. Thank you!

So the people that voted for one chap won! I kept the big chapter as it was and...here it is.

For the last time on this story...Enjoy!

-Chapter 28-

Rose ran as fast as she could to the metal waterfall that led to the Torchwood hub. She stopped and tried to find some kind of camera, but she knew they were too small to see from the street.

She turned around, getting more and more anxious. She had to find Jack. He had to be okay. He had to be. He was always ok...he was Jack. She felt a lump in her throat forming and it refused to budge.

She covered her mouth with her hand. It was so empty around here. Not one person walking about. Not one car on the roads...it was so, so quiet. How long had they been gone? How long had it been for Jack? She was afraid that she didn't want to know.

"Rosie." came a broken whisper from behind her. She spun around and without warning she was enveloped in a massive hug. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, not having to wonder who it was. That was when she noticed he was shaking.

Her hearts broke for him, he nearly never cried. She smoothed the hair at the back of his head, holding him as tight as she could. "Shh, Jack. It's ok. I'm right here" she soothed.

She felt him shake his head against her shoulder. "No. It isn't."

"Jack...oh Jack I'm so sorry. What happened? How long has it been?" she asked, still not letting him go.

She felt him tighten his grip on her. "About half a year. Maybe more than that."

Her eyes widened. "Jack...oh god, I'm so, so sorry..." He slowly pulled back and she got a good look at his face. He looked older, tired, and broken. She saw a sadness in his eyes that hadn't been there before. She shook her head and pulled him back into a hug. "The Doctor tried...we tried to get back. But the TARDIS stopped us. He said it was delaying us for some reason...Jack, what happened?"

Jack shut his eyes tightly and buried his face in her hair. "Rosie...it's my fault. All of it. It's my entire fault. I called. I tried to call you and the Doctor. But he didn't come. You didn't come."

Rose pulled her head back just enough to look at him. "What? I never...we never got a call. The Doctor's had my phone and he...he never mentioned a call. Jack, please tell me. What happened?" she asked, taking his face in her hands so that he had to look at her.

Jack leaned into her hand a bit. He had missed Rose. He had needed Rose. He had needed the Doctor too, but the Doctor never came. And he never brought Rose. "Everything. It all ended. The world ended. We...Gwen and I...it's healing now. But not before lives were lost. Important lives. So many. There was an invasion...the kids...they tried to take the kids, Rosie. The 456." he said, spitting out the last words. But Rose didn't understand, she still didn't know.

She lifted his head so he would look at her. "Jack. Who was lost?" she asked softly.

His face changed again, it went from broken to broken and angry and sad and probably every other emotion he was holding back. He looked up at the sky briefly. "Ianto Jones…he was lost. Ianto's dead." he said and it felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders when he said it, but with that weight gone, the feelings and pain and everything else he had been holding back came flooding in.

Rose saw him breaking. She led them to the curb and sat him down. He put his head in his hands and ran them through his hair, sniffing and looking back up at the sky.

"He's gone Rosie. I...I've lost people. Grey. Steven. Tosh and Owen too. But Ianto...I wasn't...I didn't save him. For some reason...it never occurred to me he would die. Everyone else, Tosh, Owen, even Gwen. I knew there was a good chance they would die one day on the job. At first, I knew Ianto would too. Then...I don't know. I was cocky, arrogant, and now it's my fault he's gone."

Rose saw his eyes; he looked like he was in another world. She turned and wrapped her arms around him again; knowing nothing she could ever say would fill that hole right now. But she could be there for him. She would be there for him. She wasn't going to desert him again.

"Don't say that." she said.

He held Rose close, wanting more than anything to forget this pain. "I hired him. I said no, but he pushed and pushed and then with that pterodactyl...it was impressive. I saw something in him, and that was when I should have turned him away. I should have turned them all away. This whole...mission I created. Recreating Torchwood. I thought it would give me purpose. But all it's ever done is kill the people I care about."

Rose hugged him tighter. "No. No Jack, you did so much good. You know that without your team, Cardiff would be in shambles. The whole world would be. The Doctor isn't always there, but you were. You stayed and you made a difference, Jack. Your whole team made a difference. You and Gwen and Ianto, you three stayed strong. You didn't give up, that is not something to be sorry for. Not ever. You can't forget the good times when the bad happen. You've seen for yourself what happens when people let the bad take over."

He smiled slightly, but it was off. It didn't quite fit him. "Rosie...I loved him." Jack admitted.

Rose's mouth fell open slightly. Jack wasn't one for real romantic love. Sure he loved her, but like a sister, a best friend. "Oh Jack..."

"Everyone dies. Everyone leaves in the end. I guess I forgot that. I know why the Doctor doesn't visit old companions a hell of a lot better now. They're human. They wither and they die so fast, so fragile. Maybe it's not worth it."

She frowned and took his head in her hands again, making him look at her again. "Not everyone. I'm not going to die anytime soon. Who knows? Maybe I'll make it to the end with you. You can't stop people dying, and I'm not saying you shouldn't mourn. But giving up? That won't make things better. Back before you met me and the Doctor, when you were a con man, were you always happy? Were you never lonely? Did you even have someone to count on?"

He looked away. "I still never felt like this. I didn't get close enough to anyone for losing them to hurt like this. They were just a means to pleasure. They didn't matter to me, not really. It was a hell of a lot easier than this."

Rose moved to kneel in front of him. "Yeah, but you've seen the other side now, Jack. You know firsthand how it feels to have a family that cares about you, that loves you. To have people that really have your back and not just when it suits them. To have people to go to no matter what. Can you just go back to a life with no real friends? No family?"

He glared at her and stood, Rose followed. "It's a lot better than living in constant pain. Better than constantly being worried or not knowing when or even if the people you love will come back!" he shouted, letting his anger out.

"Is it? Will those people you call your friends be there when you need them? Will they care at all when you get that far off look on your face?"

"At least they'd come when I call!" he yelled, finally admitting what else was bothering him. "Even if I do have to offer them cash, at least they'd show up!"

Rose flinched at that. "Yeah? Would they? What would they do when they came then, eh? Cause I sure don't think they'd put you before themselves if something worse happened!" She yelled back.

"It doesn't matter. At least answering the phone is more than I got from my so called 'family'." he spat out. He knew he was just lashing out at her, he didn't mean what he was saying but he couldn't seem to stop. Everyone had a breaking point, and this was his.

"I didn't know! I never knew you bloody called! If I had, I wouldn't have hesitated."

"Really? Because I think that if the Doctor asked you to do something, you'd chose to do that way before you ever came to help me!" he didn't know why he was yelling at her like this...he just felt so, so angry. And she was the closest person he had to yell at.

Rose knew he didn't mean it. Of course he didn't mean it. He was just angry...wasn't he? "I guess that shows how well you know me. If I knew you were in trouble, if I had any idea that you were in pain, I would have come running!"

He scoffed. "Sure. Maybe you would have a day later. Or two. Or a few weeks. Hell, maybe a year! But what does that matter? Of course old Jack who always helped you, always dropped everything he had to help you, doesn't need any help! Why would he ever need anything?! He's immortal! That solves all his problems!" he yelled sarcastically.

Rose felt her eyes sting but she shoved that down and to her relief the stinging went away. She didn't know how she did that but whatever it was, she was glad for it. "I thought you were dead! The Doctor was erased from bloody everythin' and who did I think about? My best friend. I thought you were gone because he never saved you. But of course that means I don't care. Silly me. Worrying about a man that would rather be off running around in space doing whatever and whoever the hell he feels like than actually having people that love him."

"Death would be a blessing. But I can't die, can I?" he spat out.

Rose froze as that hit her. No matter what, he was right. She did that to him. She ruined his life. It wasn't his fault that he was hurting...it was hers. He would have never met Ianto if she hadn't made him immortal by accident. He would have never lost all those people, or lived so long waiting for the Doctor to show up and explain what happened. He had a right to hate her. He should hate her. It was a miracle he was her friend for so long...she ruined everything for him. His pain, was her fault. Not even the pain of things that had happened, but for everything he felt after. Every day, no matter what happened, it would be her fault.

She couldn't yell anymore...she couldn't defend herself when she had ruined his life. She didn't have the right. "Go then. You deserve to. You deserve to just be happy. Doesn't matter what I think. It's not your fault Jack, it's mine. So go. You don't have to worry about me, or anyone. Just go. If that life makes you happier, I am not going to hold you back." She hated the words that came out of her mouth, and she felt her eyes stinging again.

He was even angry at her for letting him go. "Fine. Just don't come calling for me. Ever." he said and suddenly he was gone in a flash of light.

She didn't even blink when he left. She didn't let herself break there. Why should she? It was her fault. He was right. She walked back to the TARDIS passing right by the Doctor, who had seen everything, without a word.

Rose entered the TARDIS and it hummed, almost in comfort. She couldn't think properly. She walked straight into the first room she came to, knowing it would be her and the Doctor's.

She lied down on the bed and didn't move, trying to process what had just happened. Jack had said not to ever call...he was really gone. She had never ever fought with him like that. She was selfish. So, so bloody selfish. He had lost everything because of her. His heart was broken because of her. His life was ruined because of her. And she could never ever forgive herself for that.

Jack ended up on that ship he had told Gwen about not five hours before. He had told Rose the truth. It had been just under six months since Ianto died. And he had already said goodbye to Gwen. There was no one left on Earth for him now. So he left.

He ran a hand over his face. Now that he was away from it...the fight seemed pointless. All he did was yell and hurt Rose for no other reason than that he was hurting. There was no reason to make her hurt too, but he still had. He regretted what he had said to her...and he wished that somehow he could tke it back. But it was too late, and now he was hurting even worse than before. Before...he at least had someone to go to. She had been right, he'd always had her if he needed her, and even when he didn't she was always there. Now he had no one.

Maybe that was better. Now he had an actual fresh start. No family. No friends. No ties to anything. He could live out the rest of his life without the pain that came along with love.

"You men never learn." came a voice from behind him.

He turned around and saw River standing with her hands on her hips. He flashed her a grin. "Well, well, well. You just can't stay away can you?" he said, walking up to her. He grinned again and crushed his lips to hers, holding her head. River kissed him back forcefully, but she was the one to pull away first. "Wow. You are definitely one hell of a woman."

"Why thank you captain." she flirted back.

He grinned. Well, if he wanted to forget, there was one sure fire way of distraction. "What say you and I grab a drink? Dance under the stars..."

She laughed. "For someone trying to forget, you do a good job of using their euphemisms."

He lost the grin. "On second thought, I'll go check and see if the pilot's feeling frisky."

"Ah ah ah. no you don't." she said, grabbing his shoulder as he turned.

Jack's face hardened even more. "River. Look, I'm guessing you already know. So do us both a favor and let me go."

She raised an eyebrow. "And that would be doing you a favor?"

"I'm done with that life. I change, it's what I've always done. And it's what I'm doing now."

River grinned. "We'll see. I'll see you again in three days Captain."

"I know what you're thinking, you're wrong. I'm done. I'm a new man, and this new man is going to have some fun."

"Three days." River repeated. She walked up to him and give him one last snog before disappearing with the vortex manipulator.

"Not a chance!" he yelled at nothing. River was wrong. He was done. Completely. He didn't need anyone. Not her, not the Doctor, and certainly not Rose Tyler.

The Doctor had tried to get Rose to let him in, but the TARDIS was siding with her again and refusing to. Now he was pacing up and down the hall, waiting.

He had to tell her...she would hate him. She would really, really hate him this time...but it was his own fault for keeping this from her.

"Rose, please let me in." he begged outside her door for the thousandth time.

Finally the door opened on its own. He rushed in and saw her lying on the bed, curled up in a ball. He sighed and went over to her and stood beside the bed, gently rubbing her back. "Rose..."

"You saw, didn't you?" she asked, her voice so small it broke his hearts.

"Yes. I did. Rose, I can go find Jack. Talk to him, get him to calm down."

Rose shook her head but still she didn't look at the Doctor. "No. He wants a new life. Or at least his old one back. We can't go to him. He doesn't want me around, and I don't blame him, look what I did. Ianto died and Tosh and Owen, they were his family too. And they all died. That's my fault too. Jack would have never met them and never hired them if he wasn't immortal. His pain, their pain, all their family's pain...it's all my fault. Everything."

His hearts broke even more. He wished he could just take away her pain...all of it. "No. Rose you didn't know. You thought you were just healing him; you couldn't control all that power. It was an accident. He's told you before; he doesn't hate you for that."

Now Rose turned to the Doctor and sat up. "No. Of course he does. You heard him yourself. And he should, it doesn't matter if I didn't mean to, I still did it."

"Rose, he's angry and in pain. He lost people he cared about, he lost the family he had built at Torchwood. Pain like that can make people say and do things they don't mean. I know that for a fact. He doesn't hate you, Rose. He just lashed out because he needed to lash out. You know him, he holds it all in. Everything he feels, he rarely lets it show."

"He should hate me Doctor. He doesn't let it show because there's just too much. He's like you, he so much like you. But I ruined him. He does hate me. And he does blame me. And he should. I'm not angry with him, I deserve it. I deserve to be yelled at for what I did to him. Doctor...he should have left me a long time ago."

The Doctor couldn't believe what he was hearing. She sounded...she sounded like him. She sounded like a person with the weight of someone's life on their shoulders. He wrapped his arms around her and she stood up to hug him back.

"Rose, you're only seeing the last bits of it. You're focusing on the worst. You don't understand how you helped. How Jack was able to help. Over the course of a century, Jack saved so very many people. Not just their lives but their hope. His team? I know for a fact they were broken people before he found them. He gave them a purpose. That Toshiko? He saved her from a life time in solitary confinement for trying to save her mother. She was brilliant really; she built a very, very early version of a sonic modulator. I might even owe my sonic screwdriver to her actually."

Rose pulled back. "How do you even know that?"

He smiled and wiped the tears from under her eyes. "I've checked up on Jack before. Never in person, but I've looked him up. Talked to someone once. Owen the doctor? He lost his fiancée to an alien. He was...well understandably changed by that. Torchwood have him purpose too. And Gwen Cooper is still alive and well, married with a baby on the way!"

"So I didn't completely ruin everyone's lives. Fine. They're still dead. And no doubt tons of other things happened that Jack didn't tell me about that he wouldn't have had to deal with if it weren't for me."

He frowned slightly. "Rose, why can't you see the good you did, too? There is so much more that happened because of that day."

"Because Doctor. No matter what good it did too, Jack was my best friend. I still care so much about him and nothing will ever make up for the pain he'll feel. And it won't end until he's a bloody massive head in a tank."

"That's what I can do! I can talk to good old Boe. He can tell you himself."

Rose felt new tears in her eyes. "Doctor...how can I even face him? You're not supposed to know your future. And...I already know what he'll say. He'll say that Jack hates me, but one day...one day he won't. He'll be so old that he'll just get over it. How is that better when my Jack now can't even bear to talk to me? Doctor...it kills me. Knowing that he won't ever let me be there for him again." she said.

Seeing Rose so broken...so sad when just a few hours ago she was the happiest person alive...it made him wish he could go and slap Jack for yelling at Rose. But Jack was his friend too. And he also understood why Jack was so angry at everything. He hated being caught in the middle...sympathizing with both sides.

"He won't feel this way forever. It might take a while...but he'll realize what's important to him. Just like I did." he said softly

Rose frowned in confusion as he gently wiped her eyes again. "What do you mean?"

He smiled sadly. "You, Rose Tyler. In my ninth life...I was a wreck. You slowly healed me. When I sent you away, and you came back...I finally realized what was most important to me. You. You above Earth and any other planet, you above everyone else. That was when I admitted to myself that I was completely in love with you."

She felt a bit guilty for feeling better as he said that. Again, she felt more tears coming up. "And telling me was just not an option?"

He chuckled. "No, I was still much too terrified you would leave." she smiled slightly and he grinned wider. "Is that a smile?"

"No." she said, hating the way she smiled a tiny bit more.

He laughed and took her hand in his. "I think it is. And...I know how to get you to laugh."

"Doctor...I don't really want to go to some planet..."

"No no, we can stay in the TARDIS. Follow me."

"The wardrobe room?" she asked as he tugged on her hand so she would follow up the spiral staircase.

"Exactly! So...let's see...should be fourth floor." he said running up with Rose right behind him.

"Never thought of adding a lift then?" she asked, running up a spiral staircase wasn't quite as easy as normal stairs

"No! Then I wouldn't get to have a spiral one!" he said, grinning back at her briefly. "Right! Here we are." he said, stopping of and smiling at the room.

Really it looked almost like every other floor, racks and shelves filling it and a few standing mirrors scattered about. Then Rose noticed the difference. "The walls, they're...coral-y." she noticed, grinning a bit. They looked like the TARDIS had when she first met him…

He grinned wider. "Yes, this floor didn't change with the rest for some reason. Not quite sure why, maybe the TARDIS was feeling nostalgic."

"Or you were." Rose teased and he shrugged.

"Yeah, suppose I was. Go on, look around." he nudged her.

Rose ran her and along the nearest rack as she walked around. There were odd fabrics and hats, even an extremely long scarf. But it wasn't until she came across a black leather jacket the she stopped. She reached out and took it off the hanger, holding it out in front of her.

She didn't have to ask if it was what she thought. It still had the smell that was so very much the Doctor, but with a bit more oil from working under the console so much. She smiled as her thumbs ran over the still strong leather. "You kept this?" she asked.

"What do you think this floor is for?" he asked quietly.

She turned to him with raised eyebrows. "All of this? It's...your old clothes?" she asked.

"Yep, some from old companions too, but mostly mine." he said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

She grinned as she saw an odd cane leaning against a chair. "Even the question mark cane?" she asked, teasing him a bit.

He made a face at it. "Yeah...I had an odd sense of fashion back then. Not like now with my very cool bow tie." he said grinning and straightening it. Rose smiled wider and he thought she was about to laugh before she made an odd face too.

On another rack was a very revealing leathery animal skin tank top and short skirt. She raised her eyebrow and gave him a look. "Doctor, did you wear this too?" she said, knowing full well he didn't, but not really liking the fact a companion was running around him in this.

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and looked suddenly very uncomfortable. "Oh, ah, um, no. No, that-that was Leela's."

"Leela?" Rose asked, trying to sound innocently curious but failing.

He mentally kicked himself for keeping that particular one. "Yes she came with me in my fourth life. She rather liked violence and such. Primitive but from a distant future to yours. She was really quite clever, actually."

Rose would have been more jealous, but she saw the look in his eyes, something he got when he was remembering his past fondly. So she smiled. "I bet she gave you a run for your money."

He laughed. "Yeah, she certainly did that." he hadn't thought about Leela in such a long time...

"Doctor, why do you keep this room? I thought you didn't like revisiting the past?"

He smiled sadly. "Sometimes I do. Like you said to Rory before, it's not always bad to remember. But you're right, I don't do it often." Then he had an idea. "Rose...you remember Sarah Jane?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Yeah, of course."

He grinned and turned around to the shelves. After a quick glance around he picked up a shoe. He grinned wider at the memories that came along with this little shoe. "Sarah Jane traveled with me in my third and fourth lives...she was brilliant. Well, sometimes she wasn't." he said, holding the shoe up to show Rose the large singed hole on the side.

"What is that from?"

"We were running from a few aliens in Scotland, they had big guns. Well they were only chasing us because I may have insulted them, not on purpose of course. Anyway, as we were running, she threw her shoe at them. They shot at it and we had to keep running because it only made them angrier." he said chuckling.

The smile on his face as he talked about Sarah Jane and that adventure made her smile too. He looked different to when he usually thought about his past. Now, instead of a sad far off look, he was chuckling and grinning at the memories.

"Scotland being Scotland, it was muddy from the rain and when we made it back her leg was covered in mud and grass. She didn't much appreciate my laughing at that and decided to flick a bit of mud at me. Before I could do anything, we heard a bang from outside, something hitting the TARDIS. The aliens had thrown the shoe at us and walked away...I couldn't remember ever laughing so much before that." he said trailing off.

Rose grinned. "And you kept the shoe anyway?"

He looked up and grinned back at her. "Of course! It's a brilliant shoe. Has a lot of memories in it, couldn't just throw it away."

Rose chuckled. "You know, you are incredibly confusing. One day you don't want anything to do with the past, and now it's story time."

He shrugged. "You said it helped you to remember the people you love when they're gone." he said honestly.

She smiled. "You know, Tony...my little brother...people thought he was my own son sometimes. Mum said he was just like me, always runnin' around and trying to do everything all by himself. He's a gorgeous natural blonde though, no idea how he got that. I told him stories about you too. He said he wanted to be just like the Doctor when he grew up."

The Doctor smiled a bit smugly and straightened his bow tie. "Well, what can I say? I'm pretty admirable."

Rose laughed and turned back to the racks for a moment. She stopped again when she came across the thing she had been looking for. The Joplin coat. She grinned to herself.

For a moment he was worried, but he wasn't sure why. He knew Rose loved him, but there was that little thing in the back of his mind again, nagging him. With every companion that met him in more than one life, they always had one that they connected with more than the other. Even with lovely Sarah Jane, she had met him in three and still he could tell which she felt more of a connection too. He knew Rose must have one, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know which it was.

"It's odd." she said suddenly.

"What is?" he asked, coming up beside her.

"When you regenerated after the gamestation...I was so scared. Then after, I thought I'd end up liking one of you more." she said running her hand over the coat before leaving it on the rack, not picking it up like she had before with the leather one. When she turned to him, she saw the worry in his eyes.

Rose smiled softly and put her hand to his cheek. "Now I know for sure."

He frowned a bit. "You do?"

"Yeah. That's why it's odd. Cause you see...I was wrong back then."

"You were?"

She nodded and smiled. "I noticed it one day, long before Canary Warf. And now again. Really the moment I saw you standing there in Cardiff even though I asked who you were, I knew it was you. You don't change, not really. Not to me. I don't have to choose a Doctor, because there has always just been one." in the time she had been talking, he had stepped closer and his hands had found her hips.

"This was meant to cheer you up..." he mumbled and beamed when she laughed.

"It did, you daft man, you. It made me remember the old days. Like when you tried to 'improve' the toaster and ended up setting it on fire..." she teased.

"Hey, that wasn't my fault!"

"Really? Who's was it, then?" she chuckled.

"You! You walked out there wearing nothing but my jumper and some very small shorts that I couldn't even see from under the jumper. It was extremely distracting and it made me forget I was holding the sonic against it."

Now Rose laughed louder. "Were you that upset about it?" she could remember the somehow shocked and expressionless face her Doctor had had that day. And that was when he was leather clad and northern.

He grinned. "Quite the opposite, that's why it was so distracting. It scared me half to death that I rather liked you in my clothes."

"Really? If I had known that I woulda stolen the jumpers and worn them all the time. Well no, I suppose if he'd found out, Jack would have worn them too." she said, not noticing what she had said until it was already out of her mouth. She looked down at the Doctor's jacket and straightened it, giving her hands something to do.

He saw the change on her face and kissed her forehead. "Yes, I don't know if I'd want them back after he'd had them though."

She grinned. "You'd have to sterilize them." she joked quietly, still not looking at him.

"Nah, burning's a safer bet." he teased lightly and lifted her chin up with his finger, making her look at him. "Things will get better. I promise."

She smiled a bit sadly. "Yeah. Still got you, don't I?"

He smiled. "Always."

Captain Jack Harkness. That was the name on everybody's lips the past two nights. "The captain, he's back!", "Jack? Jack Harkness?", "Its Jack!"

For the most part, his first two days went better than expected. Less slaps than he thought he'd get from people he had 'forgotten' to call and angry spouses that had still held a grudge. Not to mention constantly doing whatever it was he felt like doing gave him much less time to think.

Now, Jack was at his favorite intergalactic bar, on his fifth or so drink from random admirers. He'd go talk to them later, but at the moment he just wanted a bit of a break. Two consecutive days of mingling and dancing and gambling with no end left him just a bit tired.

What he had forgotten, was that alcohol was a depressant. As he downed another one, he sighed. He needed to forget. Forget what happened, forget the memories of the man he had loved, forget his best friend, forget his last remaining team mate, forget the man in the blue box, forget Earth. As far as he was concerned, forgetting solved all his problems. It had gotten him this far in life, and it would get him the rest of the way. However long that was.

He felt the pain trying to resurface and he stood, walking over to the nearest person, male, female or any other possible option,, he wasn't paying attention. Without even a word, he crushed his lips to whoever it was, and planned on distracting himself for the rest of the night.

When Jack woke up, light was shining on his face from between the blinds of a window. He sighed and rolled over onto his back. He vaguely remembered the night, and he did remember that it had indeed been a woman last night. That was a start. It took him another second to realize she wasn't in the room. Huh. And still another to realize he was in a hotel suite.

He had been ditched. He laughed to himself. He was usually the one to do that...how long had he been asleep? He checked the vortex manipulator on the bedside table. On the bedside table?! He sat up in an instant and realized he had taken it off for some reason last night...why had he done that?

He groaned and held his head as the pounding started. Unfortunately being immortal didn't relieve hangovers. Although it did make it much harder to get them, he must have drunken a hell of a lot last night.

Looking around the room again, he rolled his eyes. Why hotel chains still felt the need to make their rooms seem like they were on an overly modernized Earth, he would never know. But when he really looked, he felt a pang in his chest. The doors were blue. There was a picture of a beautiful blond woman on the wall. And on the desk, flowers. Red roses to be exact. His face hardened and he stood up, collecting his clothes quickly and silently before leaving that room without another thought.

As he left the hotel, he didn't even give the sexy red headed maid a second glance. He just needed to get out of there, and get out fast. He would make sure that pang stayed well away from him, and that it would never come back.

Nine and a half hours later and Jack had managed to con a con man, dance with a few locals, and gamble the money he had earned that day away. By his standards, it was a great nine hours. The triplets had been fun to say the least, he thought to himself grinning.

Now, as he walked along a busy street in New New York, he felt different. He was supposed to feel content. Fulfilled. Radiating happiness. But everywhere he looked were reminders of his old life. He would see a pregnant dark haired woman and think of Gwen, but it wasn't always that specific. When he passed a chip shop, his face hardened. If he saw a random couple laughing he would have to turn his head. It was everything. Absolutely everything hurt.

"Buy you a drink?" a woman asked from behind him.

He turned on his best grin and spun on his heel to face her. "Well..." then he stopped grinning altogether. "River."

She smiled. "Hello, sweetie. So, how about that drink?"

"I know what you think is going to happen. You think a few drinks will get me to spill my guts and I'll 'come to my senses'. Sorry to disappoint you Professor, but that's not going to happen." he said as he sat across from her at a small table.

She shrugged. "Never said it would."

"So why are you here then?" he asked bluntly.

She smiled softly. "I'm saying goodbye, Jack. At least for now. I thought for a moment that maybe things would change quickly, but I can't afford to be any more naive. This is the last time you will see me for some time. No surprise visits, no messages, no guilt trips. I will be gone completely, just like you wanted. Taking a leaf from her book I suppose. Letting you go without a fight."

He raised an eyebrow. "Just like that? What happened to the strong willed, never give up, River?"

River grinned. "She's got much better things to do than look after you. And you have other things to do than to keep arguing with me. Shocking as it may seem, I do actually have plans."

He chuckled. "What's the catch?"

"None. No catch, no strings, no hidden agendas. You want out, I can't blame you. Now...I believe I've run out of time. It was good to see you, Captain."

He still looked suspicious. "Yeah. I'll believe it when I see it."

She stood up but as she was about to walk away, she turned back with a sad look on her face. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Jack Harkness."

"Not more than I do." he said as she walked away. He downed the last of his drink and grinned at the bar keeper as he left money on the bar.

"You alright, son?" the older man asked.

Jack laughed slightly. "I'm about to be. Know any good clubs around here?"

Rose was sitting on a beautifully grassy green hill in Scotland. She leaned her head back, closing her eyes, and let the wind blow her hair out of her face for her. The sun was shining and the few clouds were white and fluffy, her favorite kind of weather.

She suspected that he did this on purpose, bringing her to middle of nowhere Scotland at a time when it still wasn't as populated and the weather was this perfect. He'd had to run back to the TARDIS, having forgotten the picnic basket she had packed on the captain's chair.

Not that she minded in the least, yesterday...had been a very bad day. She had gone to bed early that night, and the Doctor went with her despite her assurances that he didn't have to, and he could go off and do repairs. She should have known that wouldn't work. He stayed with her what she assumed was the entire time, just cuddling her close and playing with we hair, occasionally kissing her neck. She knew he must have been so bored...but she secretly needed him there, even though they barely talked that night.

She smiled to herself, she was so lucky to have him, and she had showed him exactly how grateful she was that morning. It had been a very, very good morning...

Still Rose didn't think she would ever really get over the loss of her best friend. She still loved him just as much as she always had, and he was still her family. That was why it hurt so much, and why, if she ever found out he was in trouble or if she ever heard that he needed help, she would come running. Even though he hated her, if he was in danger, she would always rush as fast as she could to help him. No matter what.

He could push her away and hate her with his whole being, which he had a right to do, but she would always love Jack.

The Doctor ran back to the TARDIS as fast as he could. When he swung open the doors, he ran up to the console without a second thought. But as he turned to grab the basket, he frowned. Sitting right on top, was the small red ring box.

He sighed. He should have known the TARDIS would know exactly where he had hidden it...and that she would throw it right back at him.

He picked it up and stared at it, remembering that conversation he and Amy had had not too long ago.

-Flashback-

"What do you mean by, is it? Doctor, explain." Amy said, now a bit worried. She had thought things were going great...

He turns around again and fiddled with the console nervously, giving his hands something to do. "I don't know. It doesn't matter." he said, trying in vain to get her to drop the subject.

"Oh no you don't. You can do that all you want when it comes to other things, but not something like this. Not when it comes to Rose. Talk to me, Doctor." she pleaded.

He ran a hand over his face and tuned back to face her again. "When I...when I found this. Things were different. Much different. Now...everything's changed all at once."

Amy raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. "Are you saying you don't want her to be your wife anymore? That you all of a sudden changed your mind? That is such a male thing to do, one little thing changes and you get all awkward and rethink everything. I thought you were better than that Doctor, I really did. Guess it just goes to show that males will always be males, no matter how smart they are. Well, let me tell you-"

"Amy!" he cut off her angry rant. "That's not what I meant at all."

She opened her mouth, paused, and closed it again. "Oh. So...what did you mean?" she said, feeling bad for ranting at him.

He bit the inside of his lip again, nervous. "Things changed so fast...her whole life turned upside down and I wasn't there to help her when she went through it. I know I can be there now...but I know she'd sooner let me think she's perfectly fine than really tell me she's struggling. All to protect my feelings and worries. So...what if she's not ready? What if she's changed her mind?" he admitted slowly.

Amy suddenly felt sympathy for him and her face melted. She waked closer to him and put her hand on his arm. "Doctor, I know you're probably right that she'd rather have you not worried, but I don't think you're giving her enough credit. Rose is tough, and she loves you more than anything in the universe. Apparently both universes. What happened to her, happened because she loves you so much. She did all that just to be with you...so I think worrying that she's not ready, is silly."

He grinned slightly at Amy. Sometimes he forgot just how good of a friend she was. "It's not just that." he whispered.

Amy frowned again. "What else is it, Doctor?"

"It's just...Rose is still so young. I know she's promised to stay with me forever, and I know she means it now, but I don't know if she knows what that means. For Time Lords, there is only one. Once they are bonded, there is no other person. Even of one dies. It is the definition of permanent. And I...Rose is my one. I know that it's more than just a feeling. I told you I can see time lines, or bits of them, and I know that my only tether is to her. But I don't know if I am hers."

Amy pursed her lips. She wanted to slap the bloody Time Lord at this point. "Doctor. How thick are you exactly?"

"What?" he asked, suddenly confused.

Amy rolled her eyes. "How thick are you? That isn't a legitimate reason, it's just you being afraid. You're afraid of commitment and your first instinct is to run, but you don't want to run from her so delaying is your only option. And it's stupid. You were ready to marry her before, and now that she's really on your level, you're afraid all over again. She isn't going to find someone else, she doesn't want to! The least you can do is stop the excuses and admit you're terrified."

"That isn't true. I love Rose Tyler, and I want more than anything for her to be my wife and for everyone everywhere to know exactly that. I want people to see that ring on her finger and know she's mine. I want Rose with me every single day of my life and to tell her how much she means to me every one of those days. I want her to be mine in every sense of the word." he said strongly, almost shouting. He had that determined look in his eyes and was giving Amy a look that might scare most people.

She just grinned. "And what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to ask her to marry me!" he said, already too motivated to notice how smug she looked. Without any actual thought, he spun around and started off to the kitchen.

"One...two...three..." Amy counted off, and suddenly he came running back.

He opened his mouth and looked a bit confused. "You did that on purpose?" She smirked and nodded. "Huh. And I shouldn't ask her tonight should I...?"

"No. That isn't romantic at all."

"Right..."

She laughed and walked up to hug him. "Oh Doctor...what would you do without me?"

He grinned and hugged her right back tightly. "I hope I never have to find out, Amelia Pond. Just for that, no running tonight. You can have an entire night off!"

She giggled again and pulled back. "Somehow that's not just for my benefit..." she trailed off, teasing him.

He shrugged. "Weeell...what can I say?"

Amy rolled her eyes at him lovingly. "Yeah, yeah, alright. D'you mind sending Rory over when you go to find Rose?"

"How'd you know I was going to find Rose?" he asked and she just gave him a look. "Right...stupid question. See you in the morning, Pond!"

-End of Flashback-

He smiled slightly to himself remembering that conversation. But after that he had seen Rose with Rory...and then after that he was rather occupied. He had told himself that he would do it the next day. Then...well he had gotten that...call. He had gotten a call. And he had been so groggy and very much not himself that he hadn't even bothered to answer it...but he had seen the caller ID on Rose's phone.

It had been Jack. Jack had called. The Doctor hadn't known...he hadn't even answered the phone...but he hadn't told Rose about it either.

So...his brilliant plan was to just take her to see Jack in the morning. It seemed perfectly fine, and he did know that it would make Rose incredibly happy...but if he had answered the call, he would have known what was happening. He would have been able to help Jack...maybe even help Ianto...but that was a fixed point as well. Nothing important would have changed. Except...if he had, Rose wouldn't be in so much pain and Jack wouldn't be on the little bender that he was now.

He sighed and stuffed the box in his pocket. He would ask her soon, gods, he wanted to tie himself to her in every way possible, but not now. Not so soon after she had lost her closest friend, save himself of course. He wasn't completely stupid or selfish, not when it came to important things like this. Not with Rose.

He loved Rose more than anything, he would do anything to make her smile...and he now had so much more to make up for.

"Rose! Hello, sorry that took so long...I may have been distracted by an interesting rock." he said, not actually teasing at all. He had been distracted by a rock. When he sat down beside her he noticed the small tear in her eye before she blinked and it was gone.

She grinned at him. "You didn't lick it did you?" she teased.

He didn't have to ask, he knew exactly why that tiny tear had been there. He also knew that nothing he could say could fix it. As much as he wished he could, Jack had to be the one. And even that was looking like a very slight possibility at the moment.

His face softened and he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "No, not this time." what he could do was make her happy in every other respect. He smiled at her and she kissed his cheek.

"This is beautiful, thank you Doctor." she said, knowing full well he caught the look, but choosing to ignore it.

"You know...I was thinking you and I could do it alone for a while." he admitted, if a bit nervously.

She raised an eyebrow. "You promised Amy, Doctor...?"

He nodded his head to the side. "Yeeah, yeah I did. But you see...that's the beauty of a time machine. We could go off for a few weeks and they'd never know..." He tried, and waited for her response before he grinned.

She slowly broke out into the biggest smile. "You and me, huh?"

"As it should be." he said, grinning right back at her.

"Weell...I'd have to think about it..." she teased, pretending to be indifferent.

He laughed and tackled her to the ground, propping himself above her so he didn't crush her with his weight. "Oh you'll think about it, will you?"

She laughed with him and grinned, her tongue poking out in the way she knew drove him crazy. "Pros and cons?"

He smirked. "You get me all to yourself, no interruptions."

"That a pro or a con?" she teased.

He rolled his eyes and smiled at her. "I'll let you decide that one, Rose Tyler." he said and he finally pulled her down to capture her lips with his.

All too quickly Rose broke it by pushing him back gently. He responded by pouting. "Doctor?"

"Rose." he said, his voice already a bit husky.

"It's a deal."

He beamed at her. "Really?"

Rose giggled. "Did you think I'd say no?"

He shrugged. "You didn't say yes right away so what was I supposed to think?"

She rolled her eyes and instead of rewarding that with a response, pulled him back down to kiss him again, rolling them over so she was the one on top of him. When she broke it, his hands were securely on her hips, holding her in place.

"Guess it might have been just a bit obvious..." he admitted, loving the way she laughed, even if it was a bit at his expense.

"Hmmm, you don't say? Doctor, it's you and me. It's always been you and me, and that isn't going to change. No matter what happens, or what either of us face."

He broke out in another gorgeous smile, one that managed to take her breath away all over again. "Better with two." he said, remembering a time when they had been faced with the possibility of living together without the TARDIS. She beamed at him and he moved a hand to run into her hair and pull her down to kiss her.

"I quite love the sound of that."

Don't hate me...I love Jack too, I promise! This story might be over, but things aren't over yet for Jack...

I just...this chapter took such a drastic turn form my original ideas way back when. Really this whole story did. I really want to thank each and everyone of you for sticking with this through to the end! You guys are seriously the best.