A/N: Written for /coq/. Excuse the cliche plot-bunny, this was written back when Oncest was relatively new and the name 'Greed-ler' hadn't surfaced within the fandom yet. Nevertheless, hope you like!

The Onceler pulled and tested the Thneed stubbornly wrapped around his wrists to the bedposts. It was no use; as thin as his wrists were, any efforts to slip through the bindings were proving ineffective. Yet in light of the situation, the aspiring entrepreneur felt a flicker of pride for his invention; its infinite number of uses demanded special kind of durability to withstand any situation. Although now he was starting to wonder if he should come up with a method to…make it not so.

The other occupant in the cottage leaned from one leg to the other, the tails of his ridiculously yet fashionable green coat shifting with the movement. This prim and polished stranger looked bizarrely out of place in his humble cottage, with a rather extravagant top hat and sunglasses that masked his identity. It's been about a minute since he stood there, his chin resting on a green-gloved hand in pensive pose, scrutinizing Onceler's splayed out form as if he were being considered to the highest bidder at an auction.

The confused, bound man wanted desperately to disappear into the mattress. A sudden breeze blew in from an open window. Onceler shivered under his unbuttoned pajama tops, which immodestly revealed his bare chest and torso. He tried not to dwell as to why he was undressed as well as tied up to his bed.

"Well, I think it might actually work!" The green clad man suddenly exclaimed as they'd been having an ongoing conversation. Had the Onceler not been tied down, the outburst would have sent him five feet into the air. "Just think about it, this idea alone could open up a whole new market! The original design is perfect to begin with, 'cause nothing says 'kinky' like pink, soft, and fluffy. It's classic!"

The man gestured wildly with his hands as if unveiling a new vision. Meanwhile, Onceler tried to quietly blend in with the air. "Need some help spicing up your love life, ma'am? Well fret no more because the Thneed is there to put that passion back in your relationship! And don't worry about that post-coital mess ruining the afterglow. The Thneed's all natural, super absorbent fibers can wipe anything up in just a-"

"Woah, woah, hold it!" The Onceler trashed in his bonds, interrupting the green-clad intruder mid-sales pitch. "Okay, lemme clear this up. First of all, the Thneed is a family friendly product, and I intend on keeping that way. And two, do you really think you can get away with stealing my invention? I'll have you know, my family has connections, and we'll sue you for all you're worth!"

"Ha, hold on there, sweetheart. I'm not here to steal anything from you." The mysterious man held up his gloved hands in a placating manner.

The Onceler blinked, nervously fiddling with the Thneed. Did he just call him 'sweetheart'? "Uh-huh. So you just up and decided you'd break into my cottage, tie me to my bed, and ramble about selling my Thneed for, for sex? Which, by the way, speaking strictly from a business perspective, is a bad, bad idea…"

The confidence in his voice dwindled as this intruder sauntered over to the mattress where he was being held captive, his well-polished shoes clicking against the hardwood floor. Immediately, the Onceler curled in his knees in a meager attempt to restore some decency. The other man was undeterred, and comfortably planted himself on the side of the bed. He neatly folded up his dark shades and placed them on his lapel.

"Maybe for you, it is. But my business is growing, and I've been thinking about venturing into a little something called the 'sex industry'. I just need a pretty little morsel good enough to convince me this idea might actually be worth the endeavor," his words were sweet as he caressed the side of Onceler's cheek, punctuating that last thought with a pinch.

Onceler was distracted by other matters. Without the shades, he was able to fully take in the mysterious man's features, which upon inspection, bore striking similarities to his own. The physical resemblance was undeniable, yet there was a distinct sinister glint about the other's eyes. It was as if he were looking at an evil doppelganger of sorts.

He tried to tug free from stubborn Thneed again, forcing out a dry, anxious laugh. "Okay, this really isn't funny anymore! Not that it was funny to begin with…oh, I get it, Mustache set you up to this, didn't he? Nearly killing with the waterfall wasn't enough, now he's sending psychopaths to my house to scare me away. You gotta hand it to that guy, he's REALLY persistent—mph!"

A pair of lips swallowed up the rest of that sentence. The green-suited man was all at once leaning over him, one hand laying claim the side of his thin waist, the other firmly keeping him in place by the nape of his neck. His thumb ran mockingly affectionate circles around his cheek.

Alarms went blaring in Onceler's head. He clamped his eyes and lips shut to block the sudden intrusion. He may have been at a disadvantage here, but he had no plans on making it easy for this guy to have his way. His hearbeat drummed in his chest, muscles tensing as he anticipated the worst.

But Green Suit's administrations were soft and unusually tender. He gently tried to coax his mouth open, with hot breaths and flicks of tongue against his lips. Clearly trying to charm his way into access. Onceler refused to give. All he could register through his senses was the sweet cologne emanating off the other.

It was until that his gloved hand deviated down his hips to his lower back, and slipped unashamedly under the seam of his pants did Onceler break resolve. He opened his mouth to protest, and the other wasted no time in taking full possession of his mouth. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip in triumph.

Marshmallows, syrup, and faint traces of expensive cigar. Onceler recognized the familiar taste as the other man explored his mouth at liberty. Did he go through his marshmallow stash while he was out? He tried to keep his mind elsewhere, on the Thneed, his inevitable success on selling the product, his family—no, he couldn't think about that right now—on the series of elaborate traps he'd build into every home he lives in from now on…

He could feel Green Suit grin into his lips through some twisted joy, and he finally liberated them to run a wet trail of kisses down his jawline, stopping to nuzzle at a sensitive part of his neck. Onceler took a deep intake of breath, his lips pink and swollen.

"Stop," he ordered a little hopelessly, knowing that his demand would go ignored. And he was right; the other didn't so much as relent as he nipped and sucked at a smooth patch of skin. There was a discernible intent on leaving a lasting bruise that would mark the Onceler as his, if only for tonight.

The start of pleasant shivers began to envelop his body as Green Suit kissed and lavished erogenous areas on his skin with love bites. A hand splayed over his chest brushed against a sensitive nipple, sending an exhilarating tingle down his spine, as well as in his groin. Just because Onceler wasn't a willing partner in this didn't mean his body wasn't enjoying the sort of attention never given to him by another person. Especially by one as conventionally attractive as this guy, psychopath or not, who was being more tender with him than he imagined.

Satisfied with his work, the other trained his attention to admiring other parts of Onceler's body, planting kisses on his collarbone, chest, and finally latching on to one perk nipple. Through an expert combination of both teeth and tongue, he applied a generous amount of stimulation. A devilish grin played on his face as Onceler reacted accordingly with writhing limbs and a barely suppressed moan. Never one to get the job half done, he tweaked the other nipple with his gloved finger.

Onceler went dizzy with the erotic gestures. His felt his face grow hot, and he buried himself in the to crook of his arm to mask it.

With one last peck, Green Suit unlatched himself from Onceler's skin and lazily draped across his torso. There was a smug curve to his lips, which glistened next to the lamp, and he ran small, languid circles on his chest with a nimble finger. There was a feline quality about him in the complete disregard of personal space.

"Let me guess. Virgin."

Onceler glared daggers from behind his shirt sleeve, but otherwise refuse to dignify that with a response.

Green's Suit smile didn't waiver as he leaned back up. There was nothing patient or passionate in the way he slipped deft fingers down the band of his pants and fondled the already hardening member. Onceler arched his back, pulling on the Thneed. He bit into his sleeve as immense amounts of pleasure wracked his body. The suited man only watched with amused interest, and repeated the motion with his wrist at his own leisure. This went on for some time until he stopped, the sudden neglect eliciting a broken sob from the Onceler.

The bed shifted suddenly, and in no time Green Suit's lithe form was straddling Onceler over his torso. He lifted himself slightly only to spread the long green coattails behind him over the mattress. Onceler heard the sharp sound of a zipper being undone, and a finger was placed on his chin, coaxing gently.

"Open up."

Onceler didn't comply. Green Suit only huffed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms petulantly. "Okay. How's this, if you don't open up, I'll just leave you tied up, hard, and I'll make sure no one ever gets to you. I might also make off with your Thneeds," he added quickly. "Make up your mind, babe."

Neither idea was appealing to the Onceler, and he wanted this to be over with as soon as possible. Several seconds passed before he tentatively parted his lips. It was all the invitation the other needed to take a firm grasp of his dark hair and press his tip against his bottom lip.

"Don't keep me waiting."

Onceler took a deep breath through his nose, fighting off the revulsion that threatened to lurch from his stomach, and took in as much of the length as he could in one go. To his credit, the taste was nowhere near as offensive as he imagined it to be. Having nothing outside of personal experience to draw from, he feebly licked and sucked around the muscle inside him.

The grip tightened almost uncomfortably around his hair. Green Suit drew in a shuddering breath, hips slightly rocking in place to encourage his movements. Onceler applied the same technique as before—his lips running along the length of the shaft, tongue lapping the tip experimentally at intervals. He was hesitant in his actions and clearly inexperienced, but they produced a profound effect on the other.

Green Suit bit into his free hand, eyebrows furrowed together in ecstasy. Small, breathless gasps escaped him with every roll of his hips, and his composure slowly melted away into a puddle of subdued pleasure, along with any appearance of having complete authority over the situation.

With a final push he finally released himself into his mouth. Onceler pulled away in aversion when the taste hit his tongue, and the rest of the come landed on his face and dribbled down his chin. He looked horrified for a while before wiping off as much as he could on his sleeves.

Green Suit recollected himself at record speed, his trousers already pulled up and the front of his coat smoothed out. He was already in the process of lighting up a cigar which had mysteriously found its way between his lips. He leaned back and exhaled a plume of smoke into the air, basking in the delicious afterglow.

Onceler shifted once under him, clearing his throat slightly. The other young man met his stare through half-lidded eyes, and smiled.

"Right. I almost forgot."

It was the exact opposite of what Onceler had in mind when Green Suit reached back under his pants and stroked his member back to arousal. By then, Onceler lost the fight in him, and saw no point to restraining his pleasured cries. The other skipped the pleasantries altogether and pumped his member in full, generous strokes, taking delight in the way Onceler's toes curled against the bed sheets. Heat pooled within his loins and he pulled at the Thneed for leverage, pleasure escalating to a peak until he finally spilled into Green Suit's gloves. Onceler's head fell back into the pillow, chest heaving with every tired breath.

Onceler's arm flopped lifelessly unto the bed when one of the Thneeds binding it to the bedpost was removed. Green Suit remained perched on top of him, using the pink material to wipe away the sweat and remains on Onceler's face with gentle, almost motherly precision. Content with the result, he set to wiping his own gloves clean.

"Yeah, I think this is going to work out just great," he beamed as he stood up, admiring the Thneed in his hands. He promptly flung it over to the bed next to Onceler, who looked listlessly to where it landed. The other man strode over to the door and put his shades back in place, indifferent to the fact that it's still evening. "Well, I had fun. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a new market to open." He motioned a "call me" sign with his hand before disappearing out the door. Call him, how is he supposed to-oh, he left his card on the drawer.

Onceler, now alone, disheveled, half nude and half tied up to the bed, rubbed at his eyes as he wished he could erase last hour entirely from his memory. He turned and tried to focus his attention on undoing the other Thneed, when his line of sight fell on an open cabinet. An empty plastic marshmallow bag poked out incriminatingly, as well as a few others that had been tossed carelessly on the floor.

He put a palm to his face and groaned miserably.