I Love You Too Much to Have You

I own nothing! These great characters belong to Marvel not me. If I did own them they would probably get together.

Jane was a whirlpool of emotions. Her handsome love had returned to Earth. But Thor was also leaving that day. And he hadn't contacted her that he was there. Perhaps he did not want to see her or perhaps he had forgotten about her.

She felt like her heart was raw. When she saw the Avengers on the News her heart burst for joy that he had returned to Earth, then worried throughout the long and horrible battle for his safety, then it had felt the horrible doubt that he didn't love her. She felt extremely tired and unable to cry.

She was on a plane to New York; she had been away on a business trip. She had to try to see him, even if he said no. If he said no it would break her heart. She curled up in her plane seat, she was suddenly aware of how insignificant she was and how important, heroic and famous Thor was. Who was she to feel she had a right to him over all the swooning fan girls? No. She shook her head, clearing it of those thoughts. She wasn't a swooning fan in love with him for his muscles. Jane knew him on a more personal level. She was in love with him because of the sweet things he said. She thought he loved her too…

Jane looked out the window. She would concentrate on how she was going to get to him in time. Even if he wanted to speak with her she would have to convince some agents or handlers at the press conference that afternoon that she wasn't just a groupie.

She watched the press conference on her phone outside, surrounded by hundreds of squealing girls. A few giggling girls near her sported three homemade pink belly shirts that said things like 'Mrs. America' and 'Mrs. Thor' in neon puffy paint.

Agents came out and lined the roped off path to the escape cars. A massive ripple of squeals ran through the girls. Jane pushed her way to the closest agent, past one girl who was crying.

"Hello, sir. I need to speak to Thor. I-"

"Oh really? Well maybe he'll sign an autograph." The agent looked slightly amused at her. The heroes came out of the building at that moment, led by the egotistical Tony Stark. Captain America followed, a fake smile plastered on his face. Bruce Banner followed, uncertainly, cringing at the girls and their noise. Then Thor came through the doors. He smiled and gave a slight wave to the girls. He patted Bruce on the back hard and followed Tony's example, signed a few autographs, and kissed a few girls' hands.

"You don't understand! I'm Jane Foster and he knows me-" The agent did not respond but continued to keep the girls at bay. An agent down the row broke formation though.

"Jane Foster?" Thor looked over at the agent breaking formation to address a single girl. His eyes went wide and his smiled vanished for a moment. Jane's heart sunk. Then a genuine smile overwhelmed his features and he crossed the path to her. He put a hand on the not-believing agent's shoulder.

"She's with me. Take her to the lift off site." Thor avoided eye contact with Jane and continued. The agent looked bewildered and then looked at Jane with a newfound forced friendliness.

Less than forty minutes later she was on a park bench, waiting. She had been escorted in a sleek black car, the kind that was built like a tank, bulletproof and probably had a few toys in it. She recognized it as a SHIELD car. She wondered why Agent Coulson wasn't handling the Avengers…

All around her there were agents. In trees and posing as civilians, but Jane knew that the place was locked up airtight. They weren't going to allow the mighty and famous Avengers to meet in a public place without protection. The Avengers arrived. Jane's heart raced. Thor walked over to her, rubbing his neck nervously.

"Thor."

"My Jane." He took her hand and bent to kiss it. But what happened next surprised them both.

"How dare you!" She pulled her hand away from him. In the background the other Avengers pretended not to notice them and luxury rental cars arrived.

"You disappear for how long? You promised you would find your way back to me! And now you're back on Earth and you didn't even plan to stop by and so much as say 'Hello! I'm still alive! How have you been?'" Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't believe she was saying such things to the God before her.

"I-I wouldn't mind if you didn't want to see me but-but just don't lie to me. You lied to me Thor," Jane avoided looking at him while she spoke. "And I waited for you, foolishly." She looked into his eyes then and he quickly turned away, avoiding her eyes. He sat down on the bench next to her, sighing.

"You are right. I am sorry for any pain I may have caused you. I never would want that. But you must understand I put a lot of thought into whether I should contact you. But I knew it would be painful for both of us because we could not continue to be together."

"Why!" She choked and then looked away blushing. Thor turned her head gently to face him.

"Because I have responsibilities and you are an ambitious, free spirit. I am honor bound to return to Asgard as I am their king now. I will probably come back to Earth to fight along side the Avengers at times and we could see each other then. However, Jane, beautiful free-willed Jane, to be with me you would have to live a very cautious life in a well guarded SHIELD facility somewhere, always waiting for me. And I knew even if you were to say yes you would be miserable and I could never ask that of you. You were meant to change the world with your research. Please Jane, understand I long for you with ever fiber of my being and so I must let you be free. I love you too much to have you."

The tears drew silent paths down Jane's cheeks while he spoke. Everything he said was crushingly true. And even though he said he loved her, like she had hoped for desperately, the rest had all been true and the joy was overshadowed by their impending departure. In the background Loki was yanked out of a car and held by three agents. He watched Thor icily, and then Jane with interest.

"Thor. I love you." She threw her arms around him and he held her. He held her like she was fragile; he held her with more care than he had ever put into holding anything or anyone.

"I love you Jane Foster. Please be safe." He thought about adding 'forget about me, find someone and be happy' but he couldn't bring himself to do it. The thought of her with someone else made his stomach twist in knots. He had never felt that way before. Jane made him feel so…mortal. He got up and walked away from her, his shoulders slumped. Jane's body was racked by silent sobs. An agent gently led her to a SHIELD car.

Thor approached the others. Clint and Natasha nodded at him, knowing the lonely life someone with powerful enemies had to lead. For once Stark didn't make a snide joke. Tony was going to go home that night with roses for Pepper and hug her so closely. He was lucky in the situation he had compared to the other Avengers.

Thor put a hand on Loki's shoulder, preparing to depart. Loki grinned wickedly up at Thor. Loki glanced over at Jane quickly and then back at Thor and winked. Thor fumed. He tightened his grip on his brother and departed.

I think this is the first fanfiction I have ever written where the ending isn't happy and fluffy. I don't like sad endings.

If enough people ask for it I might continue it with Loki coming back to make trouble. If not I'll just leave it as a one shot.

PLEASE REVIEW!

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