This chapter is basically T, but subsequent chapters are going to be harder than M. Consider yourselves warned.

Conditional Surrender

"We've finished negotiations with Loki, and we're about ready to make a deal…" Fury trailed off.

"But?" Tony asked.

"There are aspects to it you won't like," Fury said in a low voice.

"Let me guess, he's demanded to be returned to Asgard for his punishment," Clint ventured.

"That's part of it."

"Where he will be duly punished by our father. I assure you, his behaviour will not be easily forgiven. He will be made to atone for his crimes," Thor assured the group.

"I don't like it, but if anyone can put Loki in his place, then surely your high-boss-god-dad up there would be the one for the job. I mean, he has an eye patch too, right? Would sort of be like Uncle Nick, here, kicking his ass…" Tony trailed off when Fury turned his good eye onto him with a piercing look.

"So... what else?" Bruce wondered. "You said there were aspects, plural."

Fury seemed to sigh, and everyone in the room tensed, waiting for the bad news.
"First, you need to understand the position Loki has us in. If we want to end this quickly, without even greater loss of life, compromises have to be made. We can end this right now, and get the Tesseract back-"

"What's the damage, Fury?" Steve asked, his brow furrowed. "What does he want that's making you sweat?"

Fury couldn't seem to meet anyone's eyes. He looked determinedly into the middle distance.

"He wants one of you handed over to him, for an hour."

They silently contemplated this for a moment.

"What the hell does that mean?" Clint wondered.

Fury gave him a knowing look. "It means, he wants one of you to submit yourself to him. For his amusement."

Thor looked stricken. "He means to kill one of the Avengers? Make an example to the rest of us?"

"No!" Fury almost shouted. "That's not part of his deal. He doesn't mean to kill anyone. At all, and he has given his word on that. Do I have to spell it out? He wants one of you, for an hour, for… his... amusement. As… his… plaything."

Silence.

"Loki wants one of us as his freaky sex toy? Get out. That was his demand?" Tony asked.

Fury glared at him again. Confusion settled over the room.

"No way," Natasha said in a dangerously low voice. "I'm not doing it. I am not being handed over to that freak show. Because that's what's going to happen, isn't it? I'm not being the token woman in this team so I can get saddled with this sort of crap!" Her hand was resting on the butt of her gun.

"He didn't ask for you. You're off the hook, so calm the hell down," Fury said coldly.

Natasha looked genuinely surprised. "Oh. Well. That makes a nice change" she muttered. Tony gave her an incredulous look.

"Oh geez, he didn't ask for Thor, did he? Because that would be a world of wrong" Clint said distastefully.

"No, Loki would seek a more creative punishment for me" Thor said quietly. He looked deeply disturbed.

"So, who is it then?" Bruce asked quietly.

Fury frowned, once again avoiding their faces. "He said he wants the virgin."

Five pairs of eyes turned to look at Steve.

"Why… is everyone looking at me?" he said uncertainly. "Why do you all assume I'm the... what he meant?"

Their expressions ranged from amused (Tony) to pitying (Bruce).

His face was a study in confusion. ""But why would he pick me? I'm a man. If he wants to be intimate with someone, why doesn't he pick a woman?"

Natasha's eyebrows shot up.

"What are you saying, Steve? That I'm the one who should be offered up, because I have ovaries? Maybe that's how they did it back in your day, but nowadays women have rights, and when that fails they have weapons!"

"Nat, dial it down. No one is making you into a sacrifice" Clint said in a low voice.

Natasha's jaw clamped shut, but she continued to glare at Steve.

"Your sex would not matter to Loki. He is himself… changeable" Thor intoned.

"Huh, how about that? Loki's bi-curious. Tri-curious? Try-anything-sexual? I did not see that coming. But now that it's here, I'm not at all surprised" Tony said with a shrug.

"This isn't right. This isn't how it's supposed to be," Steve muttered angrily. He looked up at Fury, distressed. "Not like this! This is above and beyond the call of duty, sir."

"I'm sorry you drew the short straw here, Captain, but you need to look at the bigger picture. The fate of the world is at stake, and is pretty much contingent on you taking one for the team-"

Bruce suddenly burst out laughing, and buried his face in his hands. Everyone turned to look at him, shocked.

"I'm sorry!" he gasped. He tried to look at Steve. "Honestly, Cap, I don't find any of this funny at all, but… take one for the team? Really, Fury? You just said that?"

Fury gave him a one-eyed glare. Banner sighed out the last of his surprised mirth.

"Is it weird that I'm a little offended he didn't pick me? I mean, not to boast or anything, but my sexual prowess is known throughout, well, this realm, at least. I would think that would make me a preferential candidate." Tony mused aloud.

"Want to swap places?" Steve said hotly.

"Not on your life. That guy has crazy eyes, and he is going to do bad, bad things to you."

Steve gave Tony a stricken look, and then dragged his eyes away to stare down Fury.
"This… situation… doesn't leave this room. No one talks about it. When it's done, it's done. No jokes, no comments. I'm not kidding. I may have to bear this humiliation, but I'm not going to be the butt of your jokes about it."

Fury shot Tony a look that plainly said SHUT UP before Tony could even open his mouth to make a pun. Tony frowned, disappointed.

TBC!

… … …

Author's note: This is how I secretly wanted the movie to end!

More soon, and yeah, it gets DIRTY.

Disclaimer: These characters are in no way my property, and I make nothing from posting this.