3. Family

Albert carefully carried the tea tray through the house in Death's domain. Despite the things that had changed - many - since Ranma had come to live here, certain things were still the same. The Master always had his tea at a certain time, relatively speaking, and Albert had it prepared and carried it to him. As he passed through the house, however, Albert couldn't help but notice the things that had changed.

Ranma's room was a place of color. He had taken to wandering around on the Disc more or less at random, and very little seemed to slow him for very long. He always brought something back, some sort of souvenir that he put in his room to brighten it up. Death still didn't understand this behavior, but he indulged Ranma's collective urges by ensuring the room had plenty of room for everything he brought back. As a result - since Ranma's wanderings about the Disc weren't limited to the present timeframe - the room had more space and cultural artifacts than most museums.

Passing by the room, Albert paused at the latest sign of major change in Death's - for lack of a better word - lifestyle. In the parlor, standing next to the massive fireplace, was a Hogswatch tree, and stockings were hung by the fireplace, labeled for each of the residents. Given that Death had made these things, they were all in various shades of black, but he had made an effort to get into the spirit of the holiday again. Although Albert couldn't help but shudder when he saw that instead of tinsel the tree was decorated with dried entrails, and the ornaments were small, bone white skulls. Although a few of the ornaments were more personal, which actually concerned Albert more.

There were iconographs hanging here and there amongst the branches. One showed Death and the young Master (Albert had resisted, but Death had insisted that he treat Ranma with the same respect he showed himself. Albert and Ranma had come to a mutually acceptable compromise. Albert referred to Ranma as the young Master and agreed to do what he asked, and in return Ranma promised to never ask anything of Albert. This went quite well until Ranma spent those two weeks watching Havelock Vetinari at work and mastered the art of the polite non-request. The boy learned too damn fast!) fishing, another showed them camping out together amongst the golden wheat field the master had placed within the domain after his brief retirement.

A third iconograph was quite interesting, as it showed Death, Ranma, and Lobsang gathered around Susan as she held her newborn infant. They still weren't sure if the child was male, female, human, anthromorphic personification, god, mortal, or somewhere in the middle of all of those things. As Death had mentioned, the child seemed perfectly content for the time with simply being.

The most disturbing thing about the iconographs, however, was that blasted cat. Neither Albert nor Death knew where the cat had come from. One morning, he was curled up in the crook of Ranma's neck like he belonged there, and Death decided not to question it. However, Albert found Rune more disturbing than the creatures of the Dungeon Dimensions, since he didn't seem bound by any rules, physical or otherwise. Even his image in the iconograph got up and left whenever it felt like it, only to return in a different position, sometimes with a snack that it proceeded to eat despite it being a still image. This always gave Albert a headache.

Pushing this from his mind, Albert stepped around the not-yet-in-existence pile of presents - all wrapped in black, with images of snow and robins in white and deeper black (Ranma had demonstrated the difference of having an image on a card/wrapping paper as opposed to an actual thing when he had made a Hogswatch card for Death). Albert continued into the Master's office, setting the tray on the desk. "Your tea, Master."

THANK YOU, ALBERT, Death replied, leaning back in his chair as he idly flipped the pages of the book in his bony hands.

Blinking, Albert couldn't help but stare. "Master, why are you dressed like that?"

Death glanced down at the red fur suit, complete with cushion and false beard. I THOUGHT IT APPROPRIATE TO THE SEASON?

Albert stared at Death, raising an eyebrow. "Really."

Death sighed. RANMA WROTE A LETTER TO THE HOGFATHER. THE HOGFATHER WROTE TO ME TO INFORM ME THAT HE WAS UNABLE TO DELIVER TO MY REALM. SO...I THOUGHT I WOULD DO IT, FOR RANMA'S SAKE.

Albert closed his eyes, rubbing his temple. "You're spoiling him, Master."

PERHAPS, Death replied. HOWEVER, I FIND I ENJOY IT. Death turned back to the book in his hands.

Albert, for lack of anything better to do in the situation, looked at what he could see of the title. "Sarah V?" he asked. "Someone we know?"

Death nodded. SHE WAS THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL I DID NOT ALLOW TO DIE.

Albert blinked. "Oh yes, when you were filling in for the Hogfather that one year." He began to roll himself a cigarette. "I confess I'm a bit curious about what happened to her myself."

CORPORALS NOBBS AND VISIT TOOK HER BACK TO THE WATCHHOUSE FOR FOOD, AND SHE SLEPT THERE THAT EVENING, Death elucidated. SHORTLY AFTER, IT WAS NOTICED THAT HER CURRENT SURVIVAL WAS DUE TO OCCULT MEDDLING BEYOND THE MORTAL, AND CAPTAIN IRONFOUNDERSON SAW FIT TO DISCUSS IT WITH THE PATRICIAN.

Putting the rolled cigarette into his mouth, Albert reached for his matches. "Why would Carrot take her to the Patrician?"

BECAUSE WHEN THE POWERS THAT BE DECIDE TO MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN, THEY OFTEN PREFER TO REUSE AN ALREADY EXISTING CHANNEL, RATHER THAN FORGE THEIR OWN. AS SUCH, IF A POWERFUL OCCULT FORCE INTERVENED ON HOGSWATCH TO KEEP HER ALIVE, THEN SOMEONE MUST HAVE PLANS FOR HER, AND CARROT THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE HER TAKEN CARE OF SOMEWHERE NEAR TO SOMEONE IN CHARGE, SO THAT IF ANYTHING STRANGER THAN USUAL BEGAN TO HAPPEN, NEWS WOULD REACH THE TOP MORE RAPIDLY.

Albert chuckled as he lit his cigarette. "I can see why Havelock would want to keep a girl who could conceivably be a channel for major change. So, what name does she go by now? Sarah Vimes?" He slowly took a drag.

SARAH VETINARI.

Albert nearly swallowed his roll up, coughing a bit. "What?" While Albert had not had any personal experience with the current Patrician of Ahnk Morpork, what he knew of the man didn't mesh with this new revelation. "Why?"

APPARENTLY, HAVELOCK HAD A GAME SET UP THAT HE HAD CRAFTED HIMSELF, A VARIANT OF CHESS HE CALLED 'SHADOW CHESS'. HE HAD ATTEMPTED TO...AMPLIFY THE STANDARD CHESS GAME TO BE APPLIED TO MORE MODERN METHODS OF GOVERNANCE AND THE MANAGEMENT OF ARMIES AND CITIES. APPARENTLY, SARAH DEMONSTRATED A VERY KEEN MIND, BUT A LACK OF INTEREST IN USING IT BEYOND THE ENJOYMENT OF THE GAME. Death chuckled. I UNDERSTAND HE HAS SINCE ENROLLED HER IN THE ASSASSIN'S GUILD FOR TRAINING, WHERE SHE IS QUITE SKILLED. Death raised a bony finger to his chin. IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN...SHE IS ABOUT RANMA'S AGE...

Albert raised his eyebrow once more. "You aren't seriously considering playing matchmaker, are you Master?"

FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND, Death replied. I SIMPLY THOUGH RANMA MIGHT ENJOY COMPANIONSHIP HIS OWN AGE THAT COULD KEEP UP WITH HIS HIGHER DIMENSIONAL THOUGHT PROCESS. Death had been quite pleased at how quickly Ranma had grasped the concepts presented to him regarding time, space, and curry. I SHOULDN'T THINK I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT MATCHMAKING FOR ANOTHER DECADE/CENTURY, RELATIVELY SPEAKING.

Albert sighed, knowing what Death meant. Given that time flowed more or less however one wanted it to in Death's realm, one couldn't exactly be sure how long it would take for Ranma to age properly, as his rate of aging seemed to be a variable absolute...especially since Death had taught Ranma how to control his own personal timeflow. Shaking his head, Albert looked pointedly once more at Death's red suit. "Do we even have a chimney?"

WE WILL IF I NEED ONE. ...ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT WALKING THROUGH THE WALL WOULD BE INNAPROPRIATE?

Albert nodded. "It wouldn't be quite the same, Master."

I SUPPOSE YOU ARE RIGHT. ...SUSAN WILL BE STOPPING BY FOR A HOGSWATCH FEAST, ALONG WITH LOBSANG AND THE CHILD.

"I didn't think Lobsang could manifest here," Albert replied, confused. "Since time doesn't flow here."

WHILE THE DOOR OF MY REALM IS INDEED BARRED TO TIME, Death said, the blue novas of his eyes sparkling mischievously, THEY ARE NOT TO LOBSANG LUDD, THE THIEF.

Albert's eyes widened. "He can do that?"

IT WAS RANMA'S SUGGESTION, AND LOBSANG FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK. IT WILL BE NICE TO HAVE THE WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER.

"Yes," Albert mumbled to himself. "I suppose it will."