Title: Because It's Stupid

By: ExquisitelyInked

Summary: Atobe's a romantic sap at heart, and he doesn't miss out on any chance to profess his "undying love" for Ryoma, who doesn't appreciate one bit of what's going on. In other words, five ways Atobe proposes to Ryoma, and the five times Ryoma secretly likes it.

Rated: T

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis, and I haven't made, nor intend to make, any profits using its characters, setting, blah blah.

A/N: Light at heart, not like the angsty painful cry-worthy (or am I flattering myself?) stuff I've been pushing out the last few fics... But I need some sunshine in my heart. And more Royal. I need a couple shots of Royal, bby, I need to get drunk on Royal. Royal, Royal.

Too much of a good thing is bad for you. I listened to the same song over and over, and now I can't bear to hear one line of it. [This was done at 2 in the morning, so don't hate me.]

The First Proposal:

The first bouquet of flowers Ryoma got, he tossed the card into the dustbin without even looking at it, preferring to put the flowers in a vase where his mother would see them and think that oh, Ryoma went to all this trouble just to get me flowers, the boy loves me, I'll make him a proper Japanese breakfast soon. The flowers were very pretty; red roses nestled in a ring of white calla lilies. Ryoma liked calla lilies, to hell with the concept that the lily resembles a girl's—

He wasn't straight, anyway, even if he never told anyone about it.

The next time he got a bouquet, the exact same flowers, he got curious. He kept the card, in his pocket, where Nanjiro wouldn't see it and call him out on it.

He went to his room, and fished the card out from his pocket, which was also full of a variety of cat-care product cards and one-half of a tennis ball.

To my lovely Ryoma; I can't imagine life without you anymore. You're the thing that gets me through the day, and my tennis has improved, playing against you. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art—

Ryoma stopped reading at that point, and tore up the card.

The next day he called Atobe (of course it was Atobe; no one else could be that cheesy) and said, "Fuck you, Monkey King. Is this a joke?"

"No, of course not, brat. How did you like my signature at the end? I signed it with a little flourish, a small five-petal flower at the end."

"The signature was... appealing." Ryoma had no idea what the signature even was, or if Atobe had even put a signature at the end of his love letter. He was just pleased his guess turned out to be right, that it was Atobe who'd sent the gaudy piece-of-crap card.

"You didn't read it till the end, did you?" Atobe asked dryly.

"Bile rose up in my throat after thou art," Ryoma confessed honestly.

"There wasn't even a name at the end, brat."

Ryoma hung up, too awkward to continue with any semblance of his arrogance left. But Atobe called back, and Ryoma was almost too afraid to pick it up, but he picked it up.

"I still love you, though." Keigo seemed sincere, and Ryoma had no experience dealing with sincere outside of tennis.

"Why don't you go drown in your own ego?" Snarky comeback. Maybe Atobe would give up.

Ryoma hung up again, and the blush was just because of his embarrassment. Really. Mada mada dane.

The Second Proposal:

Ryoma was getting a lot of call-me cards in his tennis locker. The first thing that clued Ryoma in on the fact that Atobe was involved was that the cards were purple in color.

He was no stranger to the fact that Atobe practically rolled around in lavender and violet flower petals before getting out of bed each day, and would wear purple dress suits to his high-class parties if he could (but it just looked so weird), so he looked at the number printed on the cards, but it wasn't Atobe's, so he got curious. Again.

Curiosity might kill Karupin, he told himself, but dialled the number, while he had free time during lunch.

"Dearest Ryoma, ore-sama left this voicemail to tell you that he didn't appreciate you using his flowers to bribe your mother, but he forgives you, and still means every word of the card. Ore-sama knows you didn't actually read it, so he's going to recite it for you, right now. To my lovely Ryoma—"

The bell rings, and Ryoma gratefully hangs up.

At home, later that day, he gets a call from Atobe, but he's not ready to pick up. Not yet. He might start gagging with the sappiness of what he's facing, and as much as he insults Atobe on a regular basis, he doesn't want Keigo to get offended.

The Third Proposal:

Rain.

Ryoma should've known better than to step out in the rain anywhere near Atobe Keigo.

Seriously, who would've thought Atobe would go down on his knees and propose with a fucking ring?

So he was standing there, watching Atobe's face as Keigo patiently waited for an answer and the teams from both sides watched them hash it out like this. Atobe's patience was slowly, but surely wearing thin, Ryoma's smirk was growing by the second, and he waited until the exact moment Atobe snapped to say yes.

Seeing Atobe's face like that, slack-jawed, was completely worth it.

But he threatened to throw away the ring if Atobe didn't take it back, so Atobe grudgingly pocketed it. Later, when Ryoma found the silver band in his tennis bag, he was really, frankly, tempted to just toss it out the window, but instead slipped it onto his finger and pretended that it was someone else's gift when Atobe gave him a kiss like a dying man's last kiss when he saw Ryoma wearing it.

The Fourth Proposal:

"It's someone else's wedding, you idiot."

"So? Let's get married here and now. A double wedding. They won't mind." Oh, they were absolutely going to mind. Their furious stares pretty much said it all. But Atobe and Ryoma had it coming, talking this loudly, just as the bride and the groom were about to kiss. Everyone else was watching, too, and Ryoma hated being the center of attention. Atobe, on the other hand, was lapping up the gazes.

"The moment this is over, we are over."

"You're not serious."

"I'm not serious."

"Okay, fine, at least let's have our own wedding soon."

"Pretty sure it's not legal yet, in Japan."

"Vegas, baby."

Ryoma turned his head to fix Atobe with a contemptuous glare, and even Keigo leaned back a bit. "Okay. If you didn't want to, you could've just said so."

The glare turned into one of disbelief.

"I have a fucking ring on my finger, Atobe, we don't need legal papers to prove that we're in love. So calm down and watch them kiss."

After a while, thankfully after the wedding ceremony ended, Atobe said, "I could kiss you much better than that. And my vows would be a lot more heartfelt."

"I know. I was thinking the exact same thing."

The Fifth Proposal:

"You have to say yes."

"No, I don't."

"No, we dared you to say yes." Eiji stubbornly folded his arms like that ended the discussion.

"So? I picked Truth, anyway."

"Did you, now? I think you said Dare, very clearly." Fuji smiled at Ryoma, who at that moment would've braved a life sentence in prison only if he got to kill each member of his team. Save his captain. Buchou's cool. And maybe Kawamura and Oishi, too.

"No, I said Truth."

"Listen, shortstop, we weren't supposed to tell you that Atobe's going to come to the courts today afternoon and play a match against you, asking you to be his if he wins," Kaidoh hissed. "So, just lose, okay, or do something, trip over your laces and let him win."

"One: shortstop's not really an insult to my height, Kaidoh-senpai, it's a baseball term for some guy who fields between second and third base. Shut up, Momo, not the bases you're thinking of. Two: why the hell should I? Mada mada dane." Ryoma's tendency to become chatty when angry surfaced.

"We know he's just looking for a way to reveal to us that you guys are a couple." Momo's smirk made Ryoma want to wipe it off him with a rake.

"We're just friends."

"About to be more."

Ryoma sighed, going back into class. He still lost on purpose that day, allowing himself to be swept into Atobe's arms like a fucking girl and kissed like one, too.

"I'm not a fragile doll, you can kiss me like a guy, I'm all rough and manly."

"You're all rough and manly," Atobe placated him. "I'm just glad you lost. Thanks for throwing the match."

"You better stop with the sap if you want me to stick around, pun unintended, Atobe, stop smiling. Mada mada dane."

But Ryoma was smiling, too.

Review if you loved this! I love you, anyway.