Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Kingdom Hearts, but if I did this would totally be canon.

A/N:Originally written for the Strifehart Kink Meme over at community. livejournal cleonrp/2723. html and posted here because the world needs more Mpreg.

This was previously published at a joint account I have with somebody but I've decided to move it here since I wrote it. Sorry. c_c

Prompt: Kingdom Hearts MPreg, with Cloud being the one to get pregnant because he really isn't exactly human. Leon finds out about this when he finds Cloud doing something like building a nest somewhere weird. Like their closet. Include Cloud grumbling about not wanting breasts for extra hilarity!

Warning(s): Mpreg. Naughty words. Childbirth.

"What's in the Oven"

It all started one morning when strange noises coming from his closet woke him up.

Sitting up and bringing a hand to cover his eyes from the blinding sunlight coming in from the opened windows, he looked in the direction of the closet. All he could see was that the double doors were open and clothes were being thrown out.

"Cloud?" he called but no one answered.

One of his many identical leather jackets was thrown out and he frowned. Was Cloud kicking him out? Standing up he took a few steps in the direction of the closet, ducking when one pair of leather pants was thrown in his direction. Taking another couple of steps he stood just outside the double doors of the closet to see what was happening inside.

"Cloud… what the fuck are you doing?"

The blond was… he was sniffing his clothes. Some he placed on the floor and others he threw out outside, murmuring.

"Useless... useless..." another leather jacket, "... useless."

Leon looked from one discarded piece of clothing to the ones inside and back to the blond. Cloud was still kneeling in front of the drawers checking each one.

"… Cloud?"

There had been no argument the night before for Cloud to be throwing him out. In fact, he had spent hours fucking Cloud in bed.

"What the-?" a shirt was thrown in his face and he pulled it away. Cloud hadn't even turned to look at him and Leon began to think that the blond was still asleep. His eyes were opened but that didn't mean he couldn't be sleepwalking.

Taking a step inside the closet, he knelt beside Cloud. He could see the blonds' lips moving, murmuring the same word and his eyes darting from one article of clothing to the next. What was it that they said about waking a sleepwalker? That it could kill them? No, no, that wasn't true. That it could disorient them and cause violent reactions? He looked around and when he didn't see the Buster sword anywhere in sight, he placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder.

"Cloud… wake up, Cloud," he tried, but there was no reaction, just Cloud sniffing another one of his shirts.

He sat back on his heels, deciding to just let Cloud be for the moment. He would just watch him and make sure the blond didn't do anything dangerous.

Cloud went through half their clothes before finally settling in the middle of the closet. Leon watched him as he began to arrange the clothes and he wondered just what exactly Cloud was dreaming about. Was he making a fort? The clothes were being placed in sort of a fort structure.

It was almost half an hour later that Cloud stood up and went back to bed with Leon close behind him. He watched as the blond slipped between the covers and closed his eyes. Leon looked in the direction of the closet and thought of what to do. He could just leave the clothes as they were and show them to Cloud when he woke up and make fun of him, or he could just clean everything up and forget about the incident. Deciding on the latter, he quickly put the clothes back in their place before going downstairs to prepare his morning coffee.

A while later, Cloud came down to have breakfast with him and when the blond didn't say anything, Leon decided it must have been just a one time dream.

"'"

The next day, Leon woke up to the same noises in his closet. Cloud was throwing his clothes outside while he used others to make his little fort inside. Again, he watched him until the blond went to bed so he could take care of the mess.

"'"

The third day he woke up to the same sounds but decided to stay in bed until Cloud came back to it. He was beginning to get annoyed about cleaning the mess but he was feeling generous and didn't want to tease the blond about it.

"'"

The fourth day he woke up to find Cloud dragging towels and bed sheets to the closet. He was moving with more urgency and Leon decided it was enough.

"'"

"Aerith… Cloud is acting strange."

Aerith looked up from her book and placed the cup of tea on the small table. "Strange? Are you fighting again?"

"No. Actually we haven't had a fight this week. Cloud's been pretty… mellow." Horny. But of course he wasn't going to say that to the sweet girl in front of him. Cloud had been eager, passionate and just plain insatiable, attacking him once they were inside their room and using him for his own pleasure. He wasn't complaining of course, but coupled with his strange morning routine the whole thing was making him worry.

"Then what is it? Has he had contact with Sephiroth?" Aerith asked and Leon shook his head.

"No, he hasn't been around and Cloud hasn't said anything about looking for him. I don't think it's that… well… maybe. Cloud has been sleepwalking for the past four days. He's not doing anything bad but I think it's because of stress."

Aerith was endeared about how Leon worried about Cloud even if he didn't want to show it. "Well what is he doing?"

"He's been building some type of fort in our closet every morning. I always clean everything up and he doesn't remember anything but this morning he was agitated as he did it again."

"... A fort?" Aerith asked, confused.

"Yeah, well it looks like one. He's just piling clothes on the floor around him and-" The cup of tea Aerith had been bringing to her lips shattered on the floor as blood drained from her face.

"Like… like a nest?" she asked, the words barely coming out of her bloodless lips.

"Sort of, I guess. Why? What's wrong with him?"

By Aerith's reaction Leon knew something was wrong with Cloud and as much as he hated to admit it, he was worried about the little shit. Aerith was still white as a sheet and with her hands clasped in front of her chest.

"Aerith? If you're going to pray, do so after telling me what's wrong with him!"

Aerith looked up at him and he knew, he just knew he wasn't going to like it.

"Cloud's pregnant."

"'"

After an hour of Leon asking if she was joking, Aerith had finally gotten him to sit down and listen to her.

"Look, I want to explain this to you, but I need Cloud here. He needs to know-"

"What do you mean he needs to know? He's the one making the fucking nest! He has to know!"

He felt ridiculous just uttering those words but something in his gut told him she was telling him the truth. Part of him was hurt because Cloud hadn't told him and he had contributed, hadn't he?

"He doesn't remember and before you ask anything else, I need you to go get him. I need to talk to the both of you," Aerith said and Leon had the sudden thought she was going to talk to them about safe sex.

"Well… too late for that," he muttered as he got up.

It didn't take long for him to find Cloud and he had to fight the urge to look at the blond's midsection. He had kissed and licked and tasted every inch of Cloud's body the night before and he hadn't noticed anything different. Cloud looked from Aerith to him as they sat in the chairs of the kitchen table.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked, the tension from the other two obvious enough to be noticed. Aerith placed a cup of tea in front of him and she took hold of one of his hands.

"I know that what I'm about to tell you sounds strange but… you have to believe me. Do you trust me Cloud?" she asked and Cloud immediately thought the worse.

"Is Sephiroth back? Did he kill-"

"No, no, no… this doesn't have anything to do with him… well… it does… but you have to know something first. Cloud… what do you remember about your life before arriving at Radiant Garden?"

Cloud just wanted to know why Leon looked like he was going to pass out at any moment.

"I don't remember much. I just remember waking up here and a few days after that, Sephiroth appeared saying something about taking me back. I fought him because he wasn't making sense and you know the rest. Why?"

"Well… Leon says you've been sleepwalking and I want you to stay calm, okay?"

"I was calm before you said that. What's going on?" he asked, feeling vile rise up to his throat and he took a deep breath to calm down.

"You're pregnant, Cloud."

He stared at her, processing the words for a moment.

"Who died?" he asked.

"What? No one, what-"

"Bullshit. Who died? Why are you trying to hide it from me?"

"Cloud, calm down, worrying is not good in your condition."

Cloud frowned, "Condition? Am I the one dying?"

"No! Cloud… you're pregnant. Very, very pregnant if my calculations are correct."

Cloud opened his mouth to speak but closed it again when no words came out. He turned to Leon.

"Is this a joke? If this is a joke, I'm going to fucking kill you."

He didn't care if he was cursing in front of Aerith, but he was angry, how dare he play a prank on him?

"I don't know what's going on either," the brunet answered and Cloud turned back to Aerith.

"Did Yuffie put you up to this?"

"No, Cloud. Listen to me. You're… you're not from any of the worlds around here. Your world is the one farthest from the main worlds so little is known about it. You're from… you're from…"

"Just spit it out Aerith!"

"You're from Yaoiland."

"Yaoiland? What does… why can't I remember?"

What was she trying to say? Why was she saying he was pregnant?

"I don't know, my guess is that when your world was taken over by the heartless you were able to escape but somehow lost your memory. I know about your world because I was studying it. I was there for a few months and I met you… and Sephiroth."

"He's from Yaoiland?" Leon asked from his side of the table.

"Yes. Cloud, he was your mate."

"My mate? Aerith, just tell me what this has to do with you saying I'm pregnant!"

"Because you have to know about your world to believe what I just told you. There were rumors about it at first in my world, rumors about a world without women. No one believed them because it seemed impossible, but then people from your world started visiting my world and we learned those rumors were truth. Soon after, many women started getting into the field of Yaoi, as we called it, to study your culture. It was the study of your planet and your people were very kind to assist us in everything we wanted. I was sent to your world to study a certain aspect of the life of your people. I'm… I'm a midwife."

Cloud had the inkling where this was going and he didn't want to know but he didn't know anything about his home planet and he was curious.

"Continue," he whispered.

"Cloud, if there weren't any women, how do you think your people reproduced?" Aerith asked, wanting her words to sink in but Cloud didn't answer so she continued.

"Some of your people are born with the ability to bear children. We don't know yet how the organs inside work together to make this possible, we didn't get that far in our study, but we know that it's possible and that's where you come in. One characteristic that marks you as one from Yaoiland are your eyes. Is that color that you will never find in another planet, your people call it Mako. "

"Aerith… what are you trying to say?"

Cloud already knew but he wanted to hear the words.

"Another rumor was that you could breed with other species, with other males. But, it seems those are true as well. You've been making a nest in your closet every morning-"

"No I haven't! Where do-"

"Yes you have, Cloud. Every morning for the past four days I've woken up to find you in our closet building a nest with our clothes. I thought you were just sleepwalking so I didn't say anything," Leon said.

"You're not sleepwalking. It's in your nature to feel like you need a safe place. In Yaoiland, the nests are built with material your mate brings. In the end the nest is basically a comfortable bed where you'll be giving birth," Aerith said, worried because she knew what Cloud would ask next.

"Birth? How… how is that possible? I don't… I don't have the necessary equipment to give birth. I can't be pregnant! I can't!"

Cloud tried to stand up but Aerith held fast to his hand.

"Cloud, listen to me, you have to listen carefully okay?" Cloud settled back on his seat. "There are a few things you have to know and you have to stay calm. You are pregnant and you will be able to give birth. Second, tomorrow you will build your nest again because you'll be giving birth tomorrow-"

"Tomorrow? What the hell? He doesn't look pregnant, how can he be giving birth tomorrow?" Leon asked, standing up from his seat and slamming his palms on the table. They hadn't even been sleeping together nine months ago. His eyes went to Cloud. "... It's not mine?"

Only Aerith heard the almost disappointed tone in his voice but she knew it wasn't time to get sentimental so she continued before a bigger misunderstanding was created.

"No, no. The gestation period lasts five days in Yaoiland."

"Aerith… where is the baby coming out of?" Cloud asked, trying not to imagine anything but Aerith blushed and that was answer enough. "That's not possible!"

"There's a saying in your world that is often told to young fathers, it goes something like 'If you're afraid of what's coming out, you should have been afraid of what was going in.' Or something like that, I can't remember."

Cloud's gut hurt and he wondered if that was the baby.

"You mentioned Sephiroth being my mate, what does that mean?" he asked.

"Ah well, he was your husband. But he was too abusive and you left him. When you lost your memory, he must have thought it was the perfect opportunity to take you back and lie to you about what type of relationship you two had."

Aerith felt better, Cloud it seemed was taking things rather well. Leon was looking pale but it was a normal reaction so she didn't worry.

"Do you have any questions?"

Cloud shook his head. He didn't want to know anymore. "I want to go to bed."

"Hmm, that's a good idea. You need all the rest you can get for tomorrow," Aerith said and she watched as Cloud made his way to their bedroom before turning back to Leon. "You should go to him and be supportive. He needs your company right now."

Leon didn't know what to do but before he could think about it, he found himself walking toward their bedroom. In the kitchen, Aerith sat for a moment, wondering if she should have warned him of the mood swings Cloud was going to experience in the next few hours. Shrugging, she decided it wouldn't be that bad.

"'"

Leon was on the bed, staring at Cloud's back as the blond lay beside him. The blond hadn't spoken a word since he had joined him and Leon was beginning to worry. He felt nervous and afraid about the whole thing, but he knew it had to be worse for Cloud. Touching his shoulder gently with one hand, he tried to roll Cloud on his back so he could look at him. When the blond refused to budge, he tried again only to be denied.

"Cloud… come on, look at me." It took several moments until Cloud finally rolled on his back. "Are you okay?"

A look that promised murder was sent his way.

"How do you think I feel? I just learn I'm from a distant planet that few know about, that Sephiroth was my mate and that now I'm going to give birth tomorrow! How do you think I feel Leonhart?"

The words were all but spat in his face and he swallowed his own anger. It wasn't as if this was his fault.

"Calm down, Cloud. You heard Aerith, it's not good-"

"Shut the fuck up Squall, I'm pretty fucking calm."

Leon pressed his lips together. He would not yell, he would be the adult here.

"I'm sorry, Leon."

The brunet's eyes turned back to Cloud. Was he apologizing?

"I'm sorry I called you Squall. I know you don't like it. I'm sorry, I just… I don't know what I'm saying. I still can't believe this is happening."

Leon's anger disappeared and he dared to wrap his arm around the blonds' waist, bringing him closer.

"It's okay, I understand. I don't even know what to think, just… just rest."

He felt Cloud's soft lips on his and he returned the kiss, guessing that the blond only wanted reassurance that everything was going to be okay. He felt Cloud's tongue and he indulged him with a deep kiss but he pulled back a moment later, with every intention of just resting for a while.

But Cloud seemed to have other ideas because he followed him and attacked his mouth, biting his lips until he gasped. His mouth was then invaded by the blond's tongue and when he felt one hand unbuckling one of his belts he again pulled back.

"Cloud wait we-!" His lips were captured again and he had to grab Cloud's shoulders to push him back a little. "Cloud, we can't."

Cloud looked at him for a moment before rolling to his side again, facing the other side of the bed.

"I'm not attractive now? Is that it? You don't find me desirable? I know. You were okay with the fact we were both men but now that you know where I come from… now you think I'm a freak right?" Cloud's voice was trembling, "I'm pregnant and fat and you don't love me anymore!"

Leon watched with wide eyes as Cloud curled up away from him and started to cry. He didn't know what to do but after a moment he leaned closer to Cloud, touching his shoulder.

"Cloud, that's not…" the blonds' shoulders were shaking with his sobs and Leon tried again. "Cloud listen I… just… I do find you desirable, I just don't want to hurt you…" were they having a baby? He had forgotten to ask. The fact that they built nests was confusing and for a second he thought that Cloud could very well be giving birth to an egg. "… or it, I mean-"

He didn't even see Cloud move. He just opened his eyes to find himself on his back with Cloud on top of him while he fought to breathe. Cloud had one of his hands on his throat and he kicked his feet on the bed as he tried to pry the blonds' fingers away from his throat.

"It? You will not call our child it, Leonhart."

Cloud's eyes were a bright green and his lips were pulled back in a snarl. Leon tried to shake his head, he tried to explain what he had meant but his vision was blacking out and he was losing his strength. Suddenly, Cloud let go of him and lowered his head to place it on Leon's chest.

"Have you thought of baby names?" the blond asked sweetly as Leon gasped for breath. What the fuck? "I thought of the name Zack if we have a boy. You can choose the name if we have a girl."

Cloud began to place kisses over his shirt as he moved lower. The blond raised his white shirt up and began to lick his navel, working on his belts again. This time, Leon didn't say anything. He was afraid of saying something and provoking the… the demon that was clearly in possession of Cloud's body.

His silent protests were forgotten when Cloud took him into his mouth, sucking and moving his tongue in ways that made him forget about everything they had learned that day. Cloud was moaning around his cock, humping his leg and Leon clutched at the sheets beside his head as he felt his climax approaching.

His orgasm was hard and he was still trying to catch his breath when Cloud moved away to take off his pants. In the next moment, he was straddling Leon's chest and grabbing his hair to lift his head and slide his cock in the brunet's mouth.

Leon didn't even had the time to take a breath and he grabbed Cloud's hips to push him away but Cloud was moving, fucking his mouth and moaning. Leon felt his eyes water and when he finally managed to push Cloud's hips away he gasped, pulling air into his lungs only to have Cloud's dick pushed back into his mouth again.

Fortunately, Cloud didn't last long and Leon swallowed - if only not to choke - Cloud's come down his throat as he wondered if he could survive the next twenty-four hours.

"'"

Because Leon refused to fuck him, Cloud fucked him twice. And then just once more in the shower to prove his point that he was in perfect condition.

"'"

The next morning, Leon woke up sore and tired to find Cloud in the closet. Again, Cloud ignored him as he moved about the room, taking clothes, towels and bed sheets as he murmured to himself while he built his nest. Leon stood by the door of the closet, trying to be supportive even if the blond wasn't aware of his presence.

This time, when Cloud was finished, the blond woke up right inside the closet, looking disoriented.

"What… what's happening?" he asked, finding Leon by the door. He then looked at the floor and he saw the makeshift nest.

"Oh."

So it hadn't been a dream.

A sudden thought came to him and he frowned. "I don't want breasts."

"What?" Leon asked, confused and he took a few steps closer to the blond to check if the blond was indeed awake or still asleep.

"I said I don't want breasts. Did Aerith say anything about me growing breasts?" Cloud asked.

He then thought about what he would feed the baby but there had to be another way, something that didn't involve him producing milk.

"I don't want breasts" he grumbled, sounding like such a small child that Leon let out a chuckle. Cloud wanted to get angry at him but instead he smiled and a few seconds later he was laughing with Leon.

"'"

"Get the fuck away from me Leon!" Cloud was lying on his nest, completely nude under a bed sheet, with his legs spread opened. "This is all your fault, I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't get away from me!'

Aerith ducked as Cloud threw a black boot in Leon's direction.

"Cloud, calm down. You need to save your strength. The baby is coming!"

That seemed to calm him down and Aerith motioned Leon to come closer. The brunet shook his head and she rolled her eyes.

"He needs you now. He's fully dilated and he needs to start pushing. Stop acting like a child and help him!"

Their attitude was getting to her and she knew she needed to be calm to deal with what was about to happen. Leon finally moved and knelt beside Cloud, who immediately grabbed his arm and pulled him closer.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I won't kill you, you know that right?" Cloud asked desperately as he placed kisses all over Leon's face.

"Alright Cloud, I need you to start pushing on three. One, two, three," Aerith waited but nothing. "Cloud, you need to push."

Cloud had his eyes closed as he panted. He had finally gotten over the fact that he was completely naked and that he had Aerith between his spread thighs, but now Aerith was asking too much of him.

"I can't, I can't," he groaned as pain rippled through his body.

The contractions were getting worse and he didn't know how much of it he could take. The pain was excruciation, no wound, no battle with Sephiroth had ever felt like this.

"You can and you have to. The baby is already in place. You need to push," Aerith said as she pulled his legs wider apart. He was already bleeding but she knew the worst was still to come. "You need to push, Cloud."

"Okay, okay… just give me a second, okay?"

Cloud groaned as another wave of pain assaulted him. His body was telling him to push and this time he answered the call. He screamed as he gripped the sheets under him, pushing and knowing he was about to die.

"That's good. You're doing so good Cloud. You need to push when the next contraction comes, alright?"

"What do you mean it's good? He's bleeding!" Leon finally found his voice at the sight between Cloud's thighs.

The blond was bleeding, the clothes and towels beneath him completely soaked.

"It's normal," Aerith told him, distracted as she cleaned the area as best as she could so she could see.

"Is it normal to bleed to death?" Leon asked, his voice coming over the gurgling sounds Cloud was making.

"If you're just going to pester me, get out!" Aerith finally lost her patience. This wasn't easy on her even though she had assisted in many births back in Yaoiland without the brunet breathing down her neck.

"Don't yell at him!" Cloud yelled from his spot on the floor before turning to Leon. "I hate you, I fucking hate you, motherfucker! I don't know why I let you do this to me. Get out. I don't want to see you. Get the fuck out!" His obscene tirade ended in a groan as he twisted in pain and Leon was suddenly reminded of that movie Yuffie had been watching about the priest and the girl possessed by Satan. Cloud sobbed and grabbed his hand. "Please don't go."

The next contraction bought something in view and Aerith ordered him to push with all he had. The blood-curdling scream that followed drowned Leon's own scream of pain and Aerith's laughter.

Leon screamed because Cloud had held onto his hand on that last contraction and had shattered every single bone in it.

Aerith laughed because of all the births in Yaoiland she had witnessed, this had been by far one of the easiest ones.

"'"

Leon, after drinking a much needed potion, watched Aerith cut through the thin pouch that covered the baby. It was stained with blood and other things he didn't want to think about, but when Aerith was finally finished cutting through, he noticed that the baby inside was clean, small and perfect.

The first cry of Zack Leonhart Strife came at 6:58 AM.

"'"

Just a few hours later, while Cloud was back to his normal self, Leon learned that he had decided sometime during labor that he was never going to be the bottom again.

"'"

A few more hours later, they also learned that Yuffie had taped the whole thing and that it was somewhere on Youtube.

A/N: Obviously this is crack. Cloud would never say those obscene words.