I don't own Harry Potter or any other recognizable material!

Hello! Yes, I'm finally writing it! The Life Project: The Nobodies. It's everybody who I just kind of never got to writing about. Sure, I had little snatches of what went down, but did Ron ever sort out his feelings for Cho? Did Dean's boobs go away? Did Seamus ever manage to keep his pants on? All of this – and more! – in the threequel, The Nobodies. I hope you enjoy it!

Just to refresh your memory, though, here are the groups/couples.

Group 1:

Dean-Harry

Parvati-Luna

Group 2:

Draco-Hermione

Blaise-Ginny

Group 3:

Ron-Cho

Seamus-Lavender

I hope you enjoy this!

I don't own Harry Potter.

…

Group 1

…

"So, who's marrying who?" Dean said when he left the room with Harry, Luna and Parvati. He winked at Parvati, who blushed.

"I'm not so sure we have a choice," Harry replied.

"That's a little rude," Dean said. "I mean, if I gotta marry someone, they might as well let me choose."

"It's not like it's a real marriage," Harry responded.

"And besides," Luna put in. "I don't think you'll be marrying who you think you'll be marrying."

Dean gave Harry a look, as if to say, "I hope I don't get stuck with that one."

Harry shrugged, and they walked on a little bit.

Their home was near the Astronomy tower, hidden behind a giant statue of a toad.

Harry spoke the password – sparrow, same as the password for every other Life Project student's room – and they entered the giant room. It was way nicer than the Gryffindor house, and Harry was almost glad he would be subjected to this project.

"This place is wicked!" Dean exclaimed, throwing out his arms. "Would you look at it? I've never seen a nicer place!"

"I'm looking at it, Dean," Harry said, poking around in the rooms. He made his way through a children's room – he vaguely wondered where the children were – a bathroom, and finally a master bedroom, each room filled with empty picture frames, before he came to the family room table.

"Guys, check this out," Dean said, calling the girls over to where he and Harry were standing. He read the words floating in the air. " 'Choose carefully. Make sure you choose within your sex. Boy drinks boy. Girl drinks girl. Drink the whole potion.' " Dean snorted. "Rules. I bet nothing bad would even happen if I drank the wrong one. Or even just half. You know what? I'm going to drink half and half! Take that!"

Harry wasn't so sure. First of all, drinking a potion irresponsibly could be very dangerous. Second, he didn't want his grade to be risked by something so stupid as this. He was about to protest, but Dean went forward and drank half of a boy potion, crinkling his nose at the flavour, and half the girl potion. He shrugged.

"I don't think anything happened. See? Told you."

Harry shrugged, but wasn't taking any chances. He drank the remaining boy potion, while Luna drank the remaining girl potion, leaving Parvati with half boy and half girl.

"I swear, if something happens this is all on you," she said. But almost before she could finish speaking, two things happened.

Luna and Parvati both shrank considerably into children. And, immediately after, Dean's hair sprouted out of his head and down his back, and out of his chest protruded two very developed mammary glands.

Harry blinked. Then, without thinking, he burst into uproarious laughter.

"Hey!" Dean exclaimed, glaring. He placed his hands on his hips, causing Harry's hysterical laughter to increase. "It's not funny!"

Harry clutched tightly at his abdomen. "I-I-I'm sorry!" He laughed. "But your f-f-face!"

Dean continued to glare until the two of them heard a quiet sound.

"Mummy?" It was little Luna, looking up at them with big grey eyes. "Mummy, why is daddy laughing at you?"

"Yeah, mummy," Harry said. "Explain why I'm laughing."

"Er…" Dean said. "I-" He shook his head. "No reason. I have to go to the bathroom. That potion just goes right through you. Be right out…"

Dean practically ran to the bathroom, groaning as he looked at himself in the mirror. Something occurred to him, and he quickly unzipped his jeans and pulled down his pants, sighing in relief when he found that his favourite body part had been left unchanged.

Of course, at the very moment he was about to pull up his pants, Luna decided to burst through the door.

"Mummy, why do you have a daddy part?" Luna asked curiously.

Dean zipped his pants as quickly as he could. That wasn't going to affect her in any way, was it? Oh, Merlin…he was the worst mother – father – ever!

He shook his head and took Luna's hand. "I – it – it's only for – because I do just for this week."

"Oh, okay," she replied. "Is it lunchtime?"

Dean realised with a jerk of his head that it was, indeed, time to go down to the Great Hall.

"Harry, will you bring me food?" Dean asked. "I don't know if I can face everyone."

Harry laughed, struggling to convince Parvati to come out from under a table. "That's a good one. No, I'd much rather watch you humiliated."

Dean glared. "Some friend you are!"

Harry just laughed, tugging Parvati out from under the table. "You love me. Now, come on. Let's go and get lunch."

…

Group 3

…

Ron was pointedly avoiding Lavender, walking ahead with Seamus and hoping Cho would forgive him for using her to keep his ex-girlfriend away from him.

"Where's our room?" Ron asked after they'd been walking a while.

"I think this is right by that creepy spider statue outside the kitchens," Seamus answered, intently studying.

"Of course it is," Ron said with a groan. "Why would it be anywhere else?"

Seamus shrugged. They quickly came upon the statue, and Seamus muttered a quick, "Sparrow."

The spider creepily scuttled out of the way, and Ron did his best to get inside the room without crying.

Once within, they all stopped to admire the room they'd be sharing over the next term.

"It's beautiful," Cho whispered.

"Beautiful?" Seamus cried. "It's fantastic! Think of all the parties we could have in here! It'd be wicked awesome!"

"Hm…" Lavender said. "Look over here, everyone."

Ron planned on ignoring her, until he saw the words floating like insects in the air. "Boy drinks boy…" he muttered, squinting his eyes as he read the place cards. Picking up a boy goblet, he toasted everyone else. "To a good grade on this thing. Bottoms up!"

They all downed their glasses.

In an instant, chaos ensued.

"Cookie!"

Ron jumped backwards, dropping his goblet. "What the bloody –" He exclaimed upon looking upon his ex-girlfriend and one of his close friends now knee length and tottering around on pudgy little legs.

Seamus ripped Ron's wand from his hand. "Cookie!" He screamed.

"Wha…we don't have any cookies. Give that back!"

"No!" Seamus screamed. "Cookie!"

Smash!

"Lavender, get off of the –" Crash! "Coffee table!" Bang! "Quit breaking lamps!"

Cho scooped up Lavender as Ron tried to wrestle with Seamus to retrieve his wand. Cho burst into tears when it became clear that she wouldn't be able to pry Lavender off of the table. Ron bumped the arm Seamus was holding his wand with, and sparks flew from the tip, igniting the couch with flame.

Cho screamed and quickly doused the fire, and Seamus escaped to the master bedroom. When Ron finally got off of the floor and into the room, Seamus had stripped off his pants and was jumping on the bed with a pair of Ron's boxers on his head.

"Oi!" Ron exclaimed.

Everything stopped and Seamus's nose stuck up in the air.

"Food!" He cried, and then jumped onto the floor and ran for the door. Ron groaned, picking up Seamus's pants, his wand and his backpack, scooping up Lavender and Cho, and the group of them sprinted after Seamus, who was following his nose to the great hall.

…

I'm going to post the next two chapters right away, since they were already written for The Life Project. I hope you enjoyed this! ^^