I found this thing. It's Death by Cafffeine and it figures just how much of any caffeinated food it would take to kill you! So, naturally, I had to figure out just how much coffee it would take to kill Will. 69.84 cups! And so, I was inspired to write this fanfiction. It's actually a little sad. And also quite a bit epic.
"Halt?" Will asked. They were seated at a table, drinking coffee.
Halt sighed. It seemed like Will always had endless questions. "What, Will?"
"Do you think that we would die if we drank too much coffee?" Will asked, staring at his coffee cup."
Halt raised one eyebrow. "Why would it kill us?"
"Well, you know, the caffeine. Like if I drank, like, 70 cups in a row and had all that caffeine coursing through my veins, maybe my heart would give out."
"Yes, Will. If you were stupid enough to drink 70 cups of coffee in a row, it would probably kill you."
"Yes!" Will yelled.
"You're happy about that?"
"Yeah! Horace told me that if I drank fifty cups of coffee in a row, I'd die. So I was like, no, it would take at least 70!"
"Actually, I think it would take 69.84. If we were being exact."
"What?" Will said.
"Don't deny it."
"But-but. That means Horace wins!"
"What did you bet him?"
Will looked at the ground. "You don't know that I bet him anything."
"Yes I do."
"I might have bet him my cloak."
"You bet Horace your cloak? Why would you even…think about doing that?"
"I thought that I could withstand 70 cups!"
"You don't exactly know that I'm right."
Will gasped. "You're right!"
"Yes. Feel free to go test it out."
"Okay!" Will said. "I need to find Horace first, though. And we'll need lots of coffee beans!" Then he ran out of the cabin, leaving Halt alone with his thoughts…And his coffee.
"I wonder how much coffee it would take to kill me?" Halt wondered aloud.
"Which is why we shouldn't let the Rangers buy coffee anymore." Cassandra finished telling Horace.
"But…Will and Halt aren't dead. And I've never had a conversation with Will about how much coffee it would take to kill him."
"So? People don't know that. And Will and Halt haven't been around for years."
"I still don't think that it's right to ban coffee from rangers. Knowing them, they'd just find a way to smuggle it. Plus, it seems kind of immoral to tell everyone that Will and Halt from being stupid."
Cassandra glared at Horace. "Thanks for the support."
"Fine, ban it. Do whatever you want to. I'm just saying, it wouldn't stop the rangers from drinking coffee."
Halt woke up suddenly, knowing instantly what had woken him. He nudged Will, waking up the younger ranger.
Will looked questioningly at Halt, but didn't dare make any noise. They were in too deep into dangerous territory for him to risk it.
"We're going back to Araluen." Halt said.
Will got to his feet. "But we've been traveling here for years. This mission is vitally important. What in the world is so important that we just go back to Araluen before we've accomplished our task?"
Halt looked at Will. "They've banned coffee."
Will gasped. "They wouldn't. You're hallucinating or something."
"No." Halt said. "My senses never lie."
"But…if they've banned the coffee…" Will trailed off.
"We have nothing to go back to." Halt finished. Both men were silent for a moment, thinking of how the enemy had killed both Pauline and Alyss. "Which is why we're going back. We have to save the coffee."
"If we don't finish this mission, though, the enemy will-"
"It doesn't matter what the enemy do. If we finish the mission, by the time we get back, it will be too late to save the coffee. We have to think about priorities here."
"You're right." Will said. "Coffee comes first."
Halt nodded. "Coffee comes first."
So, yeah...there you have it. Remember to review, and that you should PM me if you wanna talk to me about the world, or how your life sucks, or interesting stuff to look at on the world-wide web.