Alex had stormed out of Ben's flat, shirt still not quite properly buttoned, shoulders hunched so that the broad expense of his back was even more exposed to the sun than usual. While he'd awoken feeling like shit, the events of the past few minutes had made him feel even worse; not only was he a cheater, but the cheated, both a user and the used. Either one, as a stand alone emotion would be horrible to deal with, but together they were impossible, Alex's mind still torn between Ben and Sabina, between being a liar, or a spy, and no longer sure what was worse. All he knew was that last night, although not outright, Ben himself had lied to him, exposed his thoughts so that he was laid bare in front of him, childish fantasies, made dirty and corrupted. Not only that, but Alex felt, even through the events of the previous night unwanted, attraction used as a tool, rather than a legitimate reciprocation.

He is so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he doesn't hear him until there is a hand on his shoulder, and it was too late for Alex to spin around, or let himself fall back into a well practice stance, or do a anything but grab desperately at the hand, sinking his teeth into it, hard enough that after only a few moments he can feel the coppery taste of blood sliding over his tongue, "Fuck!" He recognizes the voice, one that he has only just left staring sadly at him, and he turns, glaring at the man. "Fuck off," his voice is deep with all the harsh reverberations of a growl, the man slowly stepping back, not sure why the hell it was that Ben had followed him out in the first place when he so obviously hadn't cared about him only minutes ago.

Fingers grasp at his upper arm, short, bitten nails digging into the expanse of muscle that Alex had continued to actively cultivate, although he'd had no reason to. Last night, it would have elicted excitement from the man, but now, in the light of day, it only served to deepen the frown on his face, Alex shaking his arm, but unable to displace the grip, and not stupid enough to try and start a fight that he knows he has no hope of winning. "What do you want?" It is hissed through clenched teeth, muscles tense, something that he is sure Ben knows. It means that Ben will also know that this is a sign that he is in control, which is the very last thing that Alex wants to give him right now.

Ben gives no indication that he is aware of this substantial shift in power, and that only pisses him off more. If Ben had smirked, had given any indication that it was power that he wanted, then Alex would have felt justified in continuing to struggle against him, but instead, all he feels is as if there is something important coming his way. Something that Alex doubts that he wants to hear, but suspect that he has no choice but to. He watches Ben, trying to school his face so that it similarly void of emotion, but it is a mask that is weak, and shaky, and that falls the moment Ben speaks again, "I'll tell her Alex," his voice is quiet, and Ben is moving forwards, Alex stilling once again, because he knows both, what Ben is talking about, and what he has to do to make it go away. It doesn't stop Ben from continuing however, each word like a knife in Alex's chest as he realists exactly what he has done, "Either you come with me, on this mission, or I'll tell Sabina."

As still as he'd been before, his body is this time fluid, Alex struggling to keep himself upright, legs suddenly threatening to give out from beneath him, and the man feeling like he'd been socked in the stomach. Nothing had changed. Alex was still a pawn to M16, even though he lived on the other side of the world, and even though, for the majority of a decade now, he had been free of their grasp. He was still their little pawn, to pull into line and direct to battle whenever it was that 'The Man' considered him needed. He is held up purely by the strength of Ben's grip on his arm, as he lets his mind work through what should have been glaringly obvious to him, if not from the moment he clapped eyes on the ex-SAS soldier, then from the moment that he'd heard there was a mission. With his name on it.

After what seems like an eternity to Alex, but is likely to be less than a minute in total, he manages to rip his gaze up towards the other man, all illusions shattered. "I lose her anyway," voice is broken, whispery, and haggard, Alex's world having crashed down around his ears in an instant, his only choice now whether his girlfriend should know that he was a cheater, or that being a spy was more important than loving her. And at the end of the day, it wasn't really a decision at all.

"When do we leave?"

So, this was short, and not really my best writing, but it was a necessary chapter to make, and the plot should thicken in the next chapter or so. Which I hope that won't take half as long as this last one.

Let me know what you think!