Warning: Adult themes and situations, such as alcoholism. also Dez and Austin as more then friends. MalexMale relationship, slash.

Chapter 1

The hammer hit gently at the piano string, with every press of the key. The melody had a languid tempo, as if the player were falling asleep. However he wasn't, he sat up straight letting his fingers glide over the keys, his eyelids lowered but still following his own movement. The large room that held the piano was silent, except for the mournful notes escaping the instrument. The large TV that sat across form a leather couch and armchair was turned off, and even the ceiling fan wasn't disturbing the air.

Because of this silence and the low drone on the piano, the sound of the front door opening was almost deafening. It startled the piano player, and he missed one of the notes, but continued to play after looking up to see who had entered the penthouse.

"Hey Austin." Ally greeted warily; setting her bag down next to the coat rack they kept by the door. Her eyes immediately noticed the glass of wine sitting next to Austin on the piano bench. She frowned; that was all she needed to see to access her friends state of mind.

"He's probably filming on location and doesn't have access to a phone or computer." Ally reassured her silent friend. She made her way over to him and moved his glass before taking a seat.

Austin's fingers linger on the keys and soon the depressing tune he was playing turning into unpleasant tones. He removed his hands and reached down to wear ally had placed his wine, downing the rest of the glass in one gulp. "I can't do this anymore."

Ally's eyes widened in fear, she didn't know exactly what the statement meant, but it didn't sound good. She put her hand on Austin's knee and the blonde managed to give her a feeble smile. "What are you talking about?"

"I wanted to tell him, before he left to go study in New York. I told myself that he'd be too busy studying film to really be bothered with me. I didn't want to burden him, besides I had my own career to think about…" Austin shook his head and his smile became a little more genuine. "I mean our career to think about and of course my own musical studies. College always keeps you busy, and trying to hit it big takes up a lot of time too. So I said I'd wait. Then when he graduated, and Trish became my public relations agent, and our future was looking pretty bright, I told myself I'd tell him then. I didn't…then he was working on his first film. He was stressed out with the low budget, and I didn't want to stress him out even more, so I continued to keep my mouth shut. After that, I still didn't say anything, his movie was coming out, and we were going on tour. Before I knew it he was working on another movie... You know, he's my best friend, a part of me hoped maybe he would just notice, and I wouldn't have to say anything. After all he noticed that I was afraid of umbrellas without me telling him." Austin chuckled, but it was rather hallow.

Ally was completely lost, she didn't know what he was talking about, she just knew her friend wasn't happy, he hadn't been happy for a while. For the most part his was his usual bubbly self, but he had also started a habit of drinking. She's always worried about that, but told herself that Austin was too joyful of a person to hit rock bottom, like some singers. Fame was demanding, people watched you everyday of your life, and you hardly had any privacy. Ally almost felt guilty that it was Austin in the spot light rather than her, despite the fact that she wrote all his songs, and occasionally sung back up when they were recording songs.

Austin, Ally, Trish, and Dez, were all still good friends. Ally was still Austin's partner, and she almost felt like the singer was the brother she never had. They supported each other through their growing fame, and even lived together. Trish kept them inline and safe. Trish made sure that Austin didn't have to deal with all the publicity all the time. She updated his blog for him, and occasionally talked to tabloids, and arranged interviews. She was an incredible PR agent, and tried to keep Austin out of the spot light as much as possible ever since ally had told her about his drinking. Both girls wanted to keep his stress as low as possible, and Ally knew Austin appreciated that the two of them were still a constant in his life.

Dez on the other hand had moved away from Miami, from Florida all together, to go to a film and photography school in New York. He kept in touch with everyone. Ally would get funny e-mails from him, so would Trish. Austin would get the same and occasionally even a phone call, though those were far and few between. When Dez was still in college he'd occasional come down during spring break or holidays and they had all hung out together like old times. Even after Dez had graduated, he didn't have much free time, as he worked to build his own fame in the movie industry. Ally was completely aware that Austin wished his old friend had more time to spend with them, but between Dez's projects and Austin's singing career there really wasn't much time.

"What are you saying?" The songwriter asked with great concern, and put an arm around Austin trying to give him some comfort. She removed the glass of wine from his loose grip. She didn't know how many refills he's had so far, but he seemed pretty lucid despite his strange dialogue.

"I love him…I mean I really love him." Austin muttered, and leaned his head on Ally's shoulder. Ally's frowned deepened. She was aware that Austin wasn't attracted to women, and the blond hardly dated, he didn't even take groupies to his bed for one night stands. He'd excused his lack of relationships by saying that he was too busy, or didn't know if the person he would be dating wasn't just using him. Looking back she saw all those excused in a different light. Austin didn't want to date because he was already in love.

"I'm really happy you know." Austin continued to speak, and Ally only nodded in agreement, though she didn't believe the statement. "I'm happy that I met you, and that we're doing this together. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but then when the shows are over, and I'm done recording and you're out doing your own thing, I just think of him."

"So just tell him how you feel. Next time he calls, tell him."

"Over the phone?" Austin popped up and stared at Ally as if she'd grown a second head. "He'd think I'm drunk!"

"Are you?" Ally questioned cautiously, holding the wine glass in front of her friend.

Austin let out a small laugh and gave her a lopsided grin. "That was my first glass, don't worry. You want one?" He asks while getting up, and taking the glass from her.

"Um, sure, but I don't think telling Dez over the phone is such a bad idea."

"Since when did you become a relationship expert?" Austin called teasingly from the kitchen.

"Well, I've had more dates then you." Ally defended, happy to hear her friends playful tone. She was also grateful that Austin hadn't started on one of his drinking binges. She was never brave enough to tell him to stop after he'd already had a few glasses of wine. Austin was an absolutely depressing drunk. All the good qualities the singer had were turned upside down. While sober he was a happy, outgoing, and kind. While drunk, he was miserable, introverted, and would snap at anyone with the slightest provocation. He wasn't violent, that was just not in his personality, and because of that Ally let it slide when Austin did decide to drink too much. She always felt guilty afterwards. Just because the singer wasn't violent, or taking narcotics like some celebrities, didn't mean his behavior was any less destructive.

"You have, but a couple of dates with two guys really doesn't make you an expert." Austin walked out of the kitchen with two glasses of red wine, and sat on the couch, beckoning Ally over to join him. She took her glass and turned on her TV, before glancing over at her roommate.

"We're not talking about my love life. Besides two relationships are way better then what you do…I really wish you'd learn how to wipe the browser history."

Austin laughed hard, before touching his glass to his lips. "And I really wish you'd get your own computer. You have enough money."

"Yeah, but I just don't use it that often, so I don't see the point in forking out five hundred dollars for something I'm only going to use once a week."

"Well then you're going to have to learn not to type in anything that starts with a 'G' into the browser."

"But I need to use Google. It's ridiculous that it's not the first thing that pops up, don't you ever use search engines?"

"I use Bing, duh." Ally slapped him lightly on the shoulder for his smart comment. There was no real anger behind it, she was just happy that Austin was laughing and smiling, instead of playing sad piano music.

"So, are you going to tell Dez or what?"

There was a long pause, "When he gets back from shooting his movie. I mean I don't want to tell him over the phone, and it might just mess with his head. He's got artistic movie stuff he needs to concentrate on."

"Ok, but don't use that as another excuse to not tell him. You two are never going to stop being busy." If Austin had anything to say in response to her comment—and the pout on his face told her he did—it was instantly forgotten when the phone rang. The blonde practically dived for the phone and ended up in Ally's lap knocking her drink out of her hand. Austin hadn't even spilled a drop of his own wine, and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" he questioned calmly, completely contradicting his frantic need to get to the phone. The large grin that spread over his face, told the brunette that it was Dez on the other end. "I'm ok, had a photo shoot today for the next album cover. How're you?" The singer twists around in Ally's lap and takes a sip of his drink, looking completely comfortable. Ally playfully pushes him off, and he exaggerated a yelp as he went sprawling on the floor.

"Ally's being mean." He tells Dez. "Dez says to be nice or he's not going to give you the jar of German Pickles he bought for you." He warns while reaching for a tissue to clean up his spilled wine.

Ally decided to take both their glasses into the kitchen to get them out of the way before something caused them to break.

"So how much longer are you going to be in Europe shooting?"

"Today was actually the last day, we're heading back to the states tomorrow morning."

"Are you coming back to Miami?" Austin asks hopefully.

"Duh, how else am I gonna give you guys your presents. I can direct the editing over the phone and with file sharing. It'll take a little longer, but I'd rather telecommute, than pull my hair out dealing with it in the studio."

Austin smiled gratefully at the news, and his stomach fluttered. "Well you're welcome to come stay with Ally and me."

"I'll take you up on that offer thanks. I got to go, sorry man, but it's passed midnight here, and I need to get up early."

"No problem, see ya soon." The blond hung up and ran into the kitchen jumping on his unsuspecting music partner who was drying the wine glasses. "Dez is coming to stay with us for a while." He shouted excitedly.

"Great, then you can tell him how you feel." This caused Austin to deflate completely.

"I don't know…he still has work to do on the movie."

"Austin if you don't tell him, you're going to keep coming up with excuses!"

"It took you two years to properly tell Dallas you liked him!" Austin whined and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So it's been six years since Dez went to New York." Ally pointed out poking her friend in his chest. She wasn't about to let him wiggle his way out of this. Austin had pushed her into confessing to Dallas—though that relationship hadn't worked out after three years—now it was time to return the favor.

"Yeah, well I don't even know if Dez is…like that." Austin said vaguely as he made his way to the fridge.

"He's never told you about anyone he's dated?" Ally watched as Austin pulled out a pudding cup, with an apprehensive look on his face.

"No…what if by saying how I feel, it'll ruin our friendship? That's why I've never been brave enough to tell him. I don't want to lose him Ally. I'm glad I got to keep you and Trish, I don't want to break up our little group, just because I have a little crush."

"Austin, this isn't a little crush. A crush goes away after a while, especially if you don't have a lot of contact with that crush. Six years is a long time to hold on to a crush."

Austin's brown eyes weren't focused as he looked at the pudding in his hand. "Yeah…" He grabbed a spoon and started eating. "I'm going to go get the guest room ready for Dez."

.

"Wakey, Wakey, it's a bright new sunny day." A falsetto voice squeaked into Austin's ear. The blonde just hugged his pillow closer and let out a muffled sound.

"But there are fresh pancakes waiting for you in the kitchen." The high pitched voice continued, and something soft and fuzzy touched his cheek. This caught the sleepy singer's attention, and he decided to open one eye. He was met with the sight of a fuzzy brown bear wearing lederhosen and a matching alpine hat, using his fluffy paw to reach out toward him.

"What the—?" He sat up in bed rubbing at his eyes.

"Finally, Fritz and I have been waiting seven minutes for you to wake up." A familiar voice stated, as the bear was placed on the half awake man's lap.

"Dez!" Austin shouted and threw his arms around his friend's neck. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, I told you yesterday I was coming."

Austin looked at bedside clock. "But it's only eight in the morning. When did you arrive?"

"I arrived at seven forty, Ally came to pick me up."

"Man I should have asked you when you would get here. I just thought you'd arrive in the afternoon, I forgot there was a time difference." He let go of his friend and took a closer look at the stuffed bear in his lap. "He's adorable, I should get—"

"A matching pair of lederhosen for yourself?" Dez questioned and showed his friend the pair of pants he had laid on the floor next to him.

"Oh my god you're the best."

"I got one for myself too. There like totally comfy."

"Did you give Ally her present?"

"Yup, she's already eating the pickles, though she didn't seem too excited about the accordion." Dez shoo his head in disappointment. "How am I supposed to dance polka in my lederhosen if she doesn't learn how to play?"

"If she doesn't learn it then I will. Did you get anything for Trish? I thought we could all have dinner later on today."

"I got Trish some German rock music, figured the angry sounding noises would lull her to sleep. Now get dress or the pancakes I made will get cold."

"I doubt that," Austin got scooted out of bed, and shooed Dez out. "Let me get dressed." Once the door closed behind his friend, Austin started to strip while making his way to his walk in closet. He wouldn't have been able to stop himself from smiling even if he wanted to. He was happy to see his friend again, and he was really looking forward to hanging out with him, and the old group. Not to mention Dez's pancakes were the best, and his mouth was water at the thought of tasting them again.

Once he was dressed he made his way out to the main part of his apartment. Before he could make it to the kitchen he was stopped.

"Austin, darling, glad you're up." The familiar voice of his manager greats him. He could already smell the sweet aroma of pancakes, and he really didn't want to have a briefing of his day right at that moment. However he let his manager guide him to the kitchen bar stool, while Ally placed a plate of pancakes in front of him. Dez was at the stove still flipping fresh pancakes. "So today we are going to start shooting for your next music video. Your new CD should be dropping in a month. Trish got a spot on Good morning America to perform 'Dream's reality'. So, I'm going to book your ticket today, I'm assuming Ally's coming along." The manager looked at Dez who was now turning off the stove and piling on the last pancake on a plate. "Anyone else you want to take along? Do you want me to contact your stylist to help you pick out the outfit you'll be wearing?"

Of course his schedule would be full now that Dez was back in the states. "What day am I performing?"

"We're leaving out tomorrow afternoon, and you'll be on GMA the following morning."

"So I'm going to be stuck shooting the music video all day?"

"We're planning on getting it shot today yeah. We want the video to come out before the CD drops. If we can't get it all shot today then we still have tomorrow morning."

Dez came to sit next to his friend with his own tower of pancakes. "Hey man I'm still going to be here when you come back. I'll have plenty to keep me busy with my movie. As long as I've got internet access and a my cell is charged, I won't get bored waiting for you."

"I can always stay here too." Ally offer with a smile.

"That's not the point, I really wanted to have dinner with everyone tonight, but I guess we can do that after I come back."

"Or, Trish and I can cook here, and when you come back we can just have cozy dinner out on the balcony." Ally suggested.

"I probably won't be back till late."

Dez shrugged. "If you're not back by nine then we'll just give you a rain check."

Austin shoved the rest of his pancakes into his mouth quickly. "Ok, the sooner we get started to sooner I'll be done." He announced while wiping his mouth vigorously of any excess syrup. Oh and, Isabella," he turns to his manger, "I think I do want Charley to pick out an outfit for GMA, maybe convince him to pack my suitcase with some good outfits while he's at it?"

His manger nodded, and took out her cell phone and dialed the number of his stylist. "Well the car is waiting downstairs, so let's go."

.

Ally looked at all the different pasta shapes as though about which would go best with a tomato and mussel sauce. A hand reached over her shoulder and grabbed a bag of bow-tie shaped noodles.

"Aw look at how cute these are. You should get these." Dez said cheerfully. It wasn't hard to see why Austin loved the redhead. He was still outspoken, and silly, but with age he also became a bit more serious, though that side of him only came out at appropriate times. If we was just relaxed and around friends he was the same quirky guy Ally remember from when they were fifteen.

"Ok, put them in the cart." They moved on to the next aisle to pick up fresh lettuce for the salad that would accompany their meal. She hoped that Austin would be able to have dinner with everyone; she wanted to see her friend happy, and he was always happy when Dez was around.

"So how has Austin been doing?" The question took Ally by surprise. She laughed nervously.

"W-what do you mean."

"Honestly, how is he doing? How's he holding up? He never goes to deep into his day whenever we talk, and I'm kinda worried he's keeping something from me." It was one of those rare times were Dez was completely serious, and the worry etched onto his face was almost heart breaking.

"He's alright…I think he just misses some of his old freedom. At first he would go out a lot, go shopping with me like this." She gestured between the two of them before throwing some more veggies into the cart and moving on. "He'd sign autographs when people recognized him, but the more well know he got the more the paparazzi was after him. At first he ignored them for the most part, and then he'd taken to wearing sunglasses and a hoodie to try and avoid them. It never seemed to work out well, and now I'm usually the one doing most of his shopping and stuff. He hardly leaves the apartment, and I think that upsets him. I think he wants to go out more, but a part of him just doesn't want to deal with all the stuff that comes along with it. He doesn't mind going out if it's with me and Trish, but then I think those outings make him miss you so he's not always the most cheerful."

"Well after his next CD he's going to take a break right?"

"Yeah we're going to take a little hiatus, and after that we're going to be touring. Austin love touring, mainly because he gets to leave the house." Ally laughs softly.

"I think that'll be good for him. I'm really sorry I haven't been around so much. It's just I get caught up with my own work."

"He doesn't hold it against you, just like you won't hold it against him if he can't make it tonight." Again Ally understood the admiration that Austin had for his best friend. He was caring and always thought about his friends. She could never say that Dez didn't try to make time for them as much as possible. It almost seemed like his life revolved around filming and them, she wondered if he had any time for anything else.

"So do you have anyone special you're going to meet with after the movie is all done. I mean you're going to need a date for the premier right?" Ally questioned hopping to get some information that she could use to convince Austin to tell the redhead how he really feels.

"Aw, Ally, if you wanted to come all you had to do was ask." Dez threw an arm around her and ruffled her hair. She smacked his hand away playfully, and giggled.

"That's not what I meant. I was asking if you're dating anyone."

"I wish, I don't have time to date anyone. How about you, have you gotten back on the horse, since Ben?"

Ally blushed at the reminder of her last boyfriend. "No, I don't think I'm ready yet."

"Yeah, you don't want to jump in to soon. What about Trish or Austin?"

"Trish doesn't seem interested in anyone, and neither is Austin. He says he doesn't have time or doens't trust most of them."

"I can understand that, I'm sure if he was dating someone I would have read about it in the tabloids."

Ally pushed their fully cart toward the cash register. "I think we got everything we need for a good dinner tonight."