A/N: Okay, so I totally didn't forget about this week's chapter, I swear. It's just that my entire week has been so busy, getting ready to go back to college and all. I spent most of today writing this chapter, and it's a little rushed, so please excuse any typos (and if you see them, please let me know) and/or the length and slightly weird arrangement of the elements of this chapter.

I hope you like this week's chapter, note that I love writing psycho-analysis stuff but suck at writing battle and action scenes, don't be too disappointed at the lack of Nanako, or the lack of the KanjixNaoto interaction in this chapter (save for the flashback), or the lack of Naoto in general (this chapter focuses more on the rest of the IT! Yaaay.)

Augh I'm tired, lol. If I don't update next week, it's because the whirlwind that is college has hit, so please understand! I might have to change to a update-once-a-week-or-every-two-weeks-whenever-I-c an schedule... OTL I'll try to write more and have a lot prepared so I can keep my once-a-week updates though! Not much else to say. Enjoy this week's chapter!

EDIT as of 2012/09/14: I'm soooooo sorry I haven't been updating! College has kept me busier than I imagined! I'm sorry, I think I have to go on hiatus for a while until I can adjust and catch up to my work... I'll try to write stuff in my free time (I got a new phone, so I can access my files on it now, it's pretty cool) but I can't guarantee anything that I can update for the next few weeks... Please check my twitter (link on my profile) every Friday or Saturday, I promise I'll try to post a tweet each week to give you all a status update! (That, I can do.) Sorry again! I hope to keep writing, but I've gotta take a break for now! See you soon!

.~.~.~.~.~.

Chapter 15: Five Years All Over Again

.~.~.~.~.~.

Golden Week came quickly—Yu was back before anyone really had time to miss him. The group met up at the Special HQ, as always—though this time, it was Naoto who was missing.

They told Yu about what had happened in the Midnight Channel, and what they had all decided. He simply agreed with their thinking, but opted to continue calling Naoto a girl.

"Why?" Kanji asked him curiously.

Yu shrugged. "She told me once that it never really mattered what gender she was. I'm used to calling her a female—I don't see why I should stop."

"Huh."

"Why do you call her a male?" He asked in return.

"Don't wanna make things harder for him, that's all." Kanji shrugged.

"It's a conscious effort, huh." Yu leaned his head on his hand. He looked around at everyone else at the table.

The exchanged a glance and nodded. Kanji, though hesitant, grunted in confirmation. Yes, it took effort to keep referring to Naoto as a male, but… it was what he had decided. He'd get used to it eventually.

"So, anyway… Kuma, how's the TV world?" Yu smiled at the young blonde, changing the subject to something lighter.

"It's great, sensei!" The blue-eyed boy lit up, "The studio lot is peaceful, and so's everywhere else, kuma! And my world—the place with the grass and the lake and the swings—you guys should visit it, kuma! It's prettier now!"

"Oh? It's still clear of fog, I hope." Yu pet him affectionately.

"Yep, kuma! But the other places… there's still a little bit of fog. Not very thick, but it's there, kuma." Kuma looked thoughtful, "It's only thick around Nao-chan's place, but it's not as bad as before, kuma."

"You guys did say you visited there, right?" Yu looked over to the group.

"Sure did, sempai," Rise nodded, "It was really weird though—there was nothing there."

"…Normally those places are packed with Shadows." Yu blinked. "Especially since Naoto-kun…"

"We know." Rise sighed, "But… we couldn't find anything last time we went."

"Maybe it was because Naoto-kun was there too."

The group looked over to their leader, confused.

"I have a feeling about this… why don't we go check it out again?" Yu crossed his arms, leaning back casually.

"Without Naoto?" Kanji blinked. "Uh… I kinda feel like we'd be invading his privacy or something, if we do that…"

"I'm up for it." Yosuke grinned, "I haven't seen it yet. I kinda want to."

"Me too." Chie piped up.

"You guys…" Yukiko frowned. "I don't know… I agree with Kanji-kun. Wouldn't this be an invasion of her privacy…?"

"Maybe, but that's only if we find something she finds worth hiding." Yu said, "Rise did say they didn't find anything last time. Perhaps this time will be the same."

"…I kinda hope so…" Kanji frowned.

"You're coming?" Yosuke looked over.

"Of course! Ya think I'm gonna let you walk around my girlfriend's reality by yourselves?" He snapped lightly, grunting.

Yu smiled. "Then… let's go tomorrow."

.~.~.~.~.~.

"…You brought Nanako-chan?" Kanji lifted an eyebrow when he saw Yu come into the Studio Lot with Yosuke and the aforementioned Nanako.

"She begged me to come." Yu sighed, "Besides, it's Golden Week and she's bored… I didn't want to leave her home alone."

"Isn't Dojima-san there?" Yukiko tilted her head.

"He got called in for work. Some robbery-and-murder case came up." He shook his head.

"I don't think this is a good idea…" Yosuke frowned. Chie nodded in agreement. Nanako was like everyone's little sister, and they were all fiercely protective of her.

"I'll protect her, kuma!" The bear mascot thing raised his hand enthusiastically, "I swear I will as the king of this world and Nana-chan's number one partner, kuma!"

"All of you, I'm not eight anymore!" Nanako whined, "Stop treating me like a kid. I'm more than capable of taking care of myself. I really want to see other places in Kuma-kun's world… Besides, you said there wasn't anything there, so there shouldn't be a problem, right? And if there is something dangerous, Virtue will be here!"

"Just stay behind Rise-chan, okay?" Yu patted her head. That was their deal—she could come if she stayed out of danger and out of the way, so the best place for her was by Rise's side.

"I'll protect Rise-chan too!" Nanako nodded resolutely.

"Oh, nothing will happen," Rise waved it off with a grin, "I bet nothing will have changed in Naoto-kun's world!"

"I hope you're right…" Kanji sighed. "Come on, this way."

They group started walking, quiet and slightly awkward. They all knew the way to Naoto's reality, so they didn't need a guide… and all of them seemed lost in their own thoughts—some anxious, some excited, and some wondering just what awaited them in the Maze.

Soon they came to the top of the canyon, and Nanako broke the tension. "That's a lot of TVs." She looked up at the pile of dead tubes. Yu nodded in the same wonder, but didn't vocally say anything as they passed.

"Yeah. We'll use that way to go out." Kanji nodded.

"Did Kuma-kun make those?"

"Nope. Pretty sure Maoh and Yamato did, kuma." Kuma supplied.

"Oh, cool. I didn't know they could do that."

"I think everyone's said that so far." Rise giggled.

"Hey, careful going down—it's steep over here." Kanji warned as they began their descent into the Maze.

And when they finally made it to the entrance, they were met with quiet. It was just… a portal or swirling red and black…

"…It looks scary." Nanako frowned.

"It's just a door," Yosuke chuckled, "Nothing scary about it 'cept that it hides whatever's beyond it from us."

Yu crossed his arms, looking thoughtful. "Let's go in, but we'll do it the way we used to." He decided, "A team of four, and whoever's left will be backup in case something really bad happens. Did you all bring your weapons?"

Everyone nodded, and Nanako looked confused. "I was wondering why you took a sword from Yosuke-san's place…"

"It's actually mine." Yu smiled at her, "Don't worry, you shouldn't need a weapon."

"So who's on the team?" Yosuke looked over.

"Based on what we faced last time, I'd say… Yukiko-san, Chie-chan, and Kanji." Yu nodded, "Healing and elementals would be good to have."

"What about me, sensei?" Kuma perked up. "If we're going based on last time, kuma, I have Bufu too…"

"Yes, but I could use Kanji's backup with the Zios. And he'd be mad if I didn't put him on the main team." Yu patted his fur fondly, chuckling at the brown-haired ex-punk who frowned deeply at his comment, "Besides, you can stay back and protect Nanako-chan with Yosuke."

"Oh, okay, kuma!"

"Onii-chan!" Nanako whined.

Yosuke chuckled. "Alright, you guys go on in first, we'll be right behind you."

They nodded, passing through the gate. When everyone was inside the maze, they surveyed their surroundings. It was surprisingly plain…

"See, told you nothing was here." Kanji crossed his arms.

"Rise-chan, do a scan, will you?" Yu looked over to their navigator.

Rise nodded, summoning Kanzeon as they walked further. "There was nothing for hours down here last time, and like I said, I doubt anything will have ch—" She gasped, suddenly. "Sempai, look out!"

Yu spun around, drawing his katana with practiced speed and holding it out defenseively in front of him. From the depths of the maze, a Shadow had formed—at first it was like the others, a glob of black and purple aura, but as it came closer it took shape, and the purple aura became a blazing fire, lunging toward them.

"Bufu!" Chie evoked her card on instinct, and Suzuka Gongen appeared in a flurry of blue mist, aiming the cold magic at the Shadow.

"The hell?!" Kanji held his iron board up, "I thought there weren't any Shadows in this place!"

"Me too!" Rise sounded shocked, Kanzeon's visor blinking in warning, "Guys, it's using an fire spell!"

They group quickly fell into formation, Yosuke and Kuma staying back to protect Rise and Nanako. Nanako's eyes were wide, and she didn't quite understand what was going on—only that this wasn't supposed to have happened. So why did it?!

"It's resistant to thunder elementals!" Rise warned, "It's weak against ice, go for it Chie-sempai!"

Yu switched his Persona, summoning Jack Frost, hitting the Shadow with Bufu, like Chie. After a few attacks, the thing shrieked in pain, dissolving into dark partles and then disappearing completely. The group stayed cautious for a few more minutes, and then relaxed, lowering their weapons.

"Okay, what the hell just happened?" Kanji asked angrily, turning to the others.

"I dunno," Rise bit her lip, scanning the area for more Shadows—luckily, none seemed to be nearby, "That's weird—there are a few more further into the maze, and even more further down…"

"But… you said there was nothing last time." Yukiko sounded shocked, "I don't understand…"

Yu frowned, looking down at his sword. "…Like I said… maybe it was because Naoto-kun was there with you."

"What do you mean?" Kanji demanded, "You said that before, but you didn't explain. Explain, now."

"Naoto-kun told me about her Shadow—she said that it told her, 'the things she doesn't know will hurt her'." He looked up, and Kanji's expression paused and changed into something like a mixture of confusion and surprise. "I think this is what it was talking about."

"That fiery thing was part of something he didn't know about himself?" Kanji frowned.

"Or maybe it's something she's denying so much she forgot about it." Yu looked into the abyss of the Maze, "It seems… there are things Naoto-kun's heart is hiding from herself."

"And—that's something that's gonna hurt him…" It didn't seem like a question. Kanji knew Naoto—if she lied about something enough, eventually she would start to believe it… but when she realized the truth, would she get hurt? Was it something so painful she didn't want to remember it?

"So… what do we do?" Chie asked, her brow furrowed in worry.

There was a long, drawn out silence. Yu wasn't looking at them, his eyes distant as if he was lost in thought.

Finally, "Let's keep going and see if we can figure it out."

"What—are you sure? What about Nanako-chan?" Yosuke frowned.

"Uh-uh! You're not going on without me!" The brunette crossed her arms, huffing, "If Naoto-san's gonna get hurt because of this place, I wanna help you guys!"

"We can't really stop her," Yu shrugged knowingly, "Nanako-chan, if you want to help, wait until we provoke the enemy, alright? That way it'll be focused on us."

"Got it, onii-chan!"

"Alright, let's go."

.~.~.~.~.~.

The trial was almost over… Nakamura Kenjiro and Todd Johnson were well on their way to being convicted of serial murder, among other charges… All they had to do was wait for the jury and the judge—Naoto and the other detectives and witnesses had already gone up to the stand and given their testimonies…

Olivia and Matt invited Naoto out for a drink after a long, tiring day in court. Naoto felt a lot more fatigued than normal, and all she wanted to do was go back to her hotel and go to sleep, but she didn't want to refuse her colleagues.

"He's as sure as jailed," Matt commented, "Let's consider this celebratory, yeah?"

"I suppose," Naoto shrugged. "I don't see why, though… Yes, he's a murderer, and he deserves his punishment… but isn't celebrating it just cruel on our behalf?"

"…Maybe." Matt tapped his chin, "I never thought of it that way."

"You seem distracted," Olivia noticed, "Are you okay? You're not getting sick, are you?"

"No, I'm just tired. It's been a long day." Naoto nodded, giving a weak smile to reassure her.

"You oughta relax for a while—we don't have much else to do." Matt patted her shoulder. They sat around the booth in the casual bar they were at, taking sips between conversation. "So, how was Japan? You went back there right?"

"Yes… it is my home country." Naoto nodded, "It was… refreshing. I have not been home for a long time."

"I can imagine—you being an international detective and all that," Matt chuckled.

"Did anything interesting happen?" Olivia leaned forward, "Matt told me you had a guy there."

Naoto blinked. "…Oh… back then, he wasn't my boyfriend." She corrected them, "He is now."

"Haha, good for you." Matt grinned, "How about you tell us about him? I bet it'll get you unwound."

"And I thought Japanese people were nosy." Naoto chortled, taking out her phone and showing them her wallpaper—it was a picture of her date with Kanji at the amusement park. "That's him. Tatsumi Kanji."

"Wow… he's tall." Olivia giggled, "He's got muscles too! Does he work out?"

"He hasn't in a long time, but he used to do it a lot… I heard that he was able to lift a motorcycle right off the ground." Naoto smiled, tucking the phone away again, "He stopped after high school, though, and decided to help his mother out with their shop instead."

"Shop?" Olivia sipped her drink, "A salesman, huh."

"Somewhat. His family owns a… what is the English word for it…" Naoto paused, trying to scour her foreign vocabulary for the right word, "fabric shop? They are… tailors. I am not quite sure if those are accurate descriptions though."

"Tailor, huh? That sounds fun," Matt smiled, "I bet it's expensive though. Have you ever gotten anything tailored before?"

"Perhaps a little, but it's a service." Naoto nodded, "When I was in high school, Kanji fixed a jacket for me, so that it would fit better. And when I was staying with him last month, his mother even made me a yukata…"

"That's one of those fancy Japanese robes, right? That's pretty neat." Olivia commented, "Hey, if I ever visit Japan and I need one of those, you think you can help me out?"

"I can try." Naoto smiled. Matt was right—talking about Kanji did loosen her up, and it made her feel warm and happy inside. "You'll have to visit Inaba then. That's where my boyfriend lives."

"I've always liked Japanese fashion, they're always so neat and pretty." The brunette detective smiled fondly, "You're lucky you get to live there."

"Well, I think many people would say the same about you living in America." Naoto shrugged, "Even I think so."

"Really?" Matt tilted his head, "What's so great about it? Airports are scared of terrorists, everyone's fat, and 'fashion' is only for rich people and celebrities."

"Well, last time I was here, I read some newspaper articles about some protests," The blue-haired woman pursed her lips, "Your country certainly fights hard for equality, even now."

"Oh, you mean that LGBT thing?" Matt leaned back and Naoto nodded in confirmation, "Yeah, I would've thought that died down a long time ago, but it still shows up every now and then. Especially because of that Westboro church."

"Why did that article catch your attention?" Olivia asked.

"Well… I did have some problems like that when I was younger." Naoto shrugged.

"You were gay?" Matt blinked.

The other woman winced. "No… I wasn't. If there was one thing I was sure about, it was that I have never felt any wavering in my attraction toward men." She said firmly. After all, I was trying to get away from feminine traits… why would I be attracted to them?

Olivia lifted an eyebrow. "Then you… you're transgender? Or you thought you wanted to be one?"

"Is it… weird?" Naoto looked up at them.

"No, not at all. You just… you don't seem like it." The comment seemed off-handed. The two American detectives were definitely taken by surprise by this—Naoto was very womanly after all. She was beautiful, confident, and didn't seem like the type who would ever think she was walking around in the wrong shell.

"The correct term is gender-dysphoria." Naoto shrugged, "I was never 'transgender'… but I almost was. I've decided against that though."

"What do you mean?"

"I've come to terms with who I am. So don't worry about it." She said simply, "It just surprises me… the way Americans would handle such a problem. It's very… different… from the Japanese."

Matt nodded in understanding. "Is that why you think America is cool?"

"Partially." Naoto shrugged. "I think I'm going to excuse myself before I drink too much—I need to get some rest."

"Oh. Need us to come back to the hotel with you?" Matt asked.

"No thank you," Naoto shook her head, "Thanks for inviting me out. Let's do it again sometime."

"Yeah, definitely." Matt grinned.

"See you at the court tomorrow!" Olivia waved.

"Bye."

Naoto left the bar, glad that at least it, and the court house, were walking distance from her hotel. It wasn't long before she was securely locking her room and windows, changing before she collapsed into bed.

She lay with her head on her pillow for a minute, and then lifted her gaze a bit, reaching for her phone. She stared at its screen, thinking about Kanji and smiling, wondering if he knew how much the thought of him comforted her when she was alone like this.

She sighed, pulling the blankets over her shoulder. The earlier conversation returned to her mind.

I've come to terms with who I am. She had said that before. She had said she had made a compromise and that she was okay with it—and that was just who she was.

But when she really stopped to think about it… she still didn't know. Olivia was right—the way she was now, she really didn't seem like someone who was gender-confused. When she didn't try to be a man, she was just… whoever she was, and gender had never really applied to her thoughts and actions, and nothing seemed off about it.

She knew that when she tried, back when she was still the Detective Prince, people could just tell there was something off about her. She had then seemed like a feminine boy trying too hard to be masculine, or, as her friends had assumed, a girl who masqueraded as a boy. But she was neither.

Still… it was certainly easier being herself, without binding or forcing her voice as low a pitch as she could manage. There was a sense of freedom, when people she didn't know now didn't care who she used to be, because there was nothing to show that there was "someone else" back then. There was no pretending, no facades—even if this "female" body was a façade in itself. To people like Olivia and Matt, she was and always had been a female, and they didn't look down on her in the least for that—they didn't even condescend her when they did find out who she used to want and try to be.

Yes, it was much easier… So why had she stopped being a female at all? She remembered her last few days in Inaba, thinking about what faced her in the mirror…

And again, she wondered why and when she had thought being a male was necessary. It was so long ago, but… surely she could remember? It was before she hit puberty… but it seemed like far before that, she had been "masculine"—especially seeing that all her childhood toys were for boys. Her grandfather must have noticed it too, and that was why he had been so accepting and helpful… now that she thought about it, when had she started showing signs of being gender-dysphoric for Haruka to even notice?

She sighed deeply, rolling over onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. Hey Grampa… did you know? Ever since I was little, did you know I'd turn out like this? Her grandfather was the best detective in the world, after all… he could no doubt predict Naoto's adolescent actions before Naoto had even made them. He was wise and yet… he didn't steer Naoto away from that very nearly self-destructive path. He must have had a reason.

What was the earliest sign? What was the reason he bought her that first Featherman action figure…

It had to have been since that time—that second Christmas she had alone with him. That was the first time Haruka showed that he had noticed. But… Naoto was sure that her ideal image of a detective only formed when she was ten years old, at the least… How could she have wanted to be a male when she was seven or eight?

Yamato… you are me… do you know?

A long silence.

Typical, no response.

Maybe… Naoto thought, realization dawning, maybe it wasn't being a detective that made me want to be a man.

.~.~.~.~.~.

"Dude, I'm still tired from yesterday." Yosuke complained. "Naoto's Shadows are as tough as they were back then!"

"No kidding," Chie frowned, "I don't get it though… Shadows usually love attacking their egos, so why did they just not exist when Naoto-kun was there?"

"I'm more trying to figure out what those Shadows were." Yu leaned his head on his hand, sipping his soda as they sat at their Special HQ. "I knew Naoto-kun had a lot of things she wasn't dealing with, but…"

Kanji sighed, "This is something he can't even tell us, because he doesn't even know it's there…"

The brown-haired man knew that he wanted to understand Naoto better, but this was a little much. It felt wrong, trying to figure out Naoto behind her back. He debated calling Naoto and telling her, but she hadn't called in a few days, so she was probably busy with the end of the trial, and he didn't want to bother her.

"Hey, how's Nanako-chan doing?" Chie asked.

"She's tired, but she's fine," Yu informed them, "Doing magic with Virtue for the first time really took it out of her… she slept in."

"Next time she's so not going in with us." The light-brunette crossed her arms. She sighed and stood. "Hey, I gotta get back to the inn. Yukiko and I are dealing with busy season, y'know?"

"Tell Yukiko-san hi for me. And I'll see her tonight." Yu smiled.

"Big date?" Chie giggled, "Alright. See you later." With that, she jogged off, leaving the boys alone.

"Hey, where's Rise-chan?" Yosuke asked.

"Packing. She's going back to Tokyo after Golden Week." Kanji mumbled absently.

"That sucks… if you guys are gonna go into the TV after this, you'll have to depend on Kuma for support." Yosuke made a face, "I like Rise-chan's support better."

"…"

"Hello? Earth to Kanji?" Yosuke waved a hand in front of Kanji's face, to which the taller man swatted it away.

"I'm gonna go home. Hiro-kun's coming over." Kanji stood, "See ya later."

"Uh, um. Bye."

"…Bye."

After he left, Yosuke looked over. "…You know what's up with him?"

"He's a little upset he doesn't know Naoto-kun as well as he wants to." Yu shrugged, "Not that it's either of their fault."

"Dude, I'm jealous of them," The brunette man slouched in his seat, folding his arms on the table, "and you and Yukiko. Heck, even Chie's got a boyfriend now, didja know?"

"It's entirely your own fault." Yu pointed out nonchalantly.

"Hey!" Yosuke pouted. "I'm not in high school anymore. I'm not a jerk or ass-hat… heck, people skills are necessary for my job! That's not fair."

Yu shrugged. "Maybe you should ask Rise-chan out." He suggested, "You always did say you were a big fan of Risette."

Yosuke stared at him blankly. Then he laughed, and when Yu didn't laugh with him, the sound died slowly. "Oh, you were serious?"

"Why not. I'm sure if you really tried you can charm her." He replied.

"But… she wants a guy like you." Yosuke made a face. It wasn't Yu's fault, but he had always been way more popular than Yosuke, especially with the ladies.

"She won't be able to find anyone if she keeps sticking to that ideal." Yu shrugged. He stood, going to throw his soda cup away. "Kanji mentioned something before, about a detective she was interested in, though…"

"See, no luck with her anyway." Yosuke ran his hand through his hair as he stood and followed his friend. "Ehh, I'll find someone eventually. I'm still young!" He paused. "But… I've seen all the detectives in this town. None of them are her type at all."

"It isn't one of the Inaba PD detectives," Yu looked over, heading towards the glass doors to the food court, "Kanji said it was…"

The doors opened suddenly, and Yu stopped abruptly so he wouldn't get hit or run into anyone. The man who opened the door stopped too, purple eyes locked with Yu's dark ones.

He moved around them, and Yu and Yosuke passed the door, and they didn't speak.

"That guy was weird. Who wears a scarf in the summer?" Yosuke commented. "He must not be from around here."

He… seemed peculiar… Yu thought. There was something about him that bothered the voice inside his head.

"As I was saying… Kanji said it was Naoto-kun's old partner. If I recall, his name was Kurogami."

Behind them, the strange purple-eyed man stopped. "…"

More of Shirogane's friends?

Perhaps some investigation needed to be done.

.~.~.~.~.~.

As great of friends Naoto and Kanji would become in five years time, it didn't start out that way. In the year immediately following Naoto's departure from Inaba, she rarely phoned her friends on a regular basis. Often times, it was them who called her.

After her case in Yagokoro, Naoto returned to her estate to continue her studies, enrolling in college. She recalled that, when Kanji last called, her friend had just graduated high school, and he would be starting college too.

For the first time, she called Kanji on her own.

They talked for a while—Kanji's business was doing well, and he was just going to finish general education at the local community college, but he said he also wanted to take some art and sculpting classes. Naoto smiled at this—she couldn't imagine Kanji being able to sculpt anything, but she knew the results would probably be fantastic, considering that he liked to do things with his hands and he had an eye for detail.

When Kanji asked about her, she replied that she was going to take fewer cases and enroll in engineering and nursing courses, speaking about the former with a certain passion. Kanji laughed at this—not at her, but just at how uncharacteristic it was for her to talk so much outside of a case.

That was the first of many conversations that Naoto would then learn to treasure.

But it wasn't always like that.

Further into the school year, between midterms and another case, Naoto didn't have time to call Kanji or any of the others. When she did, Kanji was in the middle of midterms too—that was the worst time to be calling him, she would yet find out.

"L-look, Naoto-kun, I'm real busy…" He sighed, "But… y'know, it's nice to hear from ya again. Um, 's been a while."

"I see. Are you keeping up your studies?" Naoto asked, "I'm in the middle of studying for midterms as well… however, a brief break is necessary."

"Yeah, sounds good… wish I could do that, if class wasn't so fucking hard." Naoto winced at his use of language. He seemed to notice it too, because he quickly said, "S-sorry."

"Not at all. You seem stressed…" Naoto frowned, "I know I am not in Inaba… but if you require assistance with studying, I… I would be more than capable of helping…"

The offer was awkward, but the empathy was there.

"Don' need yer pity. I can study on my own."

"You couldn't in high school. You and Rise-chan asked for my help all the time." Naoto reminded him, "The offer from back then is still open."

"And I ain't the same as back then!" Kanji protested, "I don't need ya remindin' me how much I don't understand shit, okay?!"

Naoto went silent, though whether it was from shock or just a lack of response was debatable.

"I gotta study, bye." Kanji hung up abruptly, leaving Naoto still without a response.

She didn't know what to do. Kanji had never yelled at her before—actually, in the past, he always tried to be as polite as possible around her. Probably because he found out she was a girl, because he did the same when he was around Yukiko and the other girls. The only other time was when Nanako was in the hospital, but he hadn't been angry at that time…

This was different. Naoto didn't know how to deal with it.

She stared down at her phone, slowly closed it, and put it down. She looked down at her desk, her cold tea, and the bear charm now laying at the corner of her papers and assignments, still attached to her phone.

"…"

The next time she tried to call him, maybe to apologize for insinuating he was dumb, things really could have gone better.

"How did exams go?"

"Shit coulda gone better." Kanji mumbled. Naoto winced—was he still mad at her? Was he still in a bad mood because of college? He really did take being called "dumb" kind of badly, didn't he… Naoto should have known this.

"Whadd'ya want?"

"I wanted to apologize… for suggesting you needed my help." Naoto said slowly, carefully choosing her words, "I should have had more faith that you improved in the final year of high school, and…"

"You woulda known if I did well if ya bothered to call."

This caught Naoto off guard.

"Wh-what? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep out of contact for so long… the case in Yagokoro required my utmost attention, you know…"

"And now that you're at yer estate, not only are ya taking classes, but you're still taking cases ain'tcha?" The frown in his voice was evident, "How d'ya even have time to call people? How'd ya even plan to help me when ya obviously don't even have time for yourself?"

"Kanji-kun," Naoto sighed, "I sense you're upset about the circumstances… but I'm calling now, aren't I?"

"No shit I'm upset. You promised you'd call—ya didn't." Kanji grunted, "I barely graduated high school—I was at the bottom of my class. Wouldn't 've even made it if it weren't for Yukiko-sempai. Ya wanted to help me study? What were ya doin' when I needed ya then? Callin' a whole fucking year later…"

"Kanji-kun, I'm sorry," Naoto said quickly, "I really didn't mean to neglect anyone, but…"

"Ya really got no excuse, Naoto-kun! You're just a workaholic!" Kanji was obviously frustrated, "Ya always gotta be doin' something, an' ya do everythin' but call yer damn friends! A whole year we didn' hear from ya—did ya even really wanna be our friend?"

Naoto blinked in shock. "Of course you're my friends! But—as I was trying to explain, I was busy…" She trailed off, realizing that she was just proving his point. "This isn't like you, Kanji-kun… are you okay…?"

"No. I ain't okay. Goddammit, I just wanted to talk ta ya every once an' a while, not yer voicemail!" Kanji took a deep, audible breath, "But obviously we ain't worth yer time, huh. You only hung out with us when it was useful for the case or something, didn't ya? If ya really didn't wanna be our friend, don't keep pretending, got it? Jus' stop."

Again, he abruptly hung up, and Naoto was stupefied into silence.

Pretending? Did she really come off so shallow? Her friends from Inaba were some of the most important people in her life… how could he not know that? Did he… hate her? God, that thought hurt.

She called Yu, unsure what to do.

"Kanji's never been too good at academics, but he really does try." Yu commented after she explained the situation, "He wanted to become more than what everyone thought he could be… and he did. He is becoming more than even what he thought he could be. You know, I bet he hasn't been sleeping, trying to study for those tests."

"That…"

"Sounds familiar?" Yu sounded like he was smirking, "It sounds like you, huh."

"But… what do I do about it?" Naoto chewed her bottom lip. "His attitude… I know he's always been a little short-tempered, but he's worrying me. Can you… perhaps… talk to him?"

"Be his friend. Just be there for him." Yu said softly, "That you're so worried that you came to me for help… it's a sweet sentiment, but I don't think I'd be of any help to Kanji right now."

"Just… be there? I've tried… I tried calling and emailing, but it feels like I'm being ignored…" Naoto sighed.

"Trust me when I say Kanji never ignores you." Yu chuckled—the sound of his laugh made Naoto frown. How could he be so lighthearted about this? Maybe he was just used to Kanji's fury… "Look, Naoto-kun, that you're just worrying about him means he was wrong—you really are our friend. Worrying is what friends do."

"I… I see." Naoto still seemed unsure. "Thank you for your time, sempai… I should let you get back to studying."

"Anytime. Talk to you later."

They hung up. Naoto sat there, her thoughts running circles in her mind. She had never been the most socially apt person, but she had made the effort to try and improve her relationships with the other team members… but she had never had a fight with any of them, much less had experience making up with them.

As big as her vocabulary was, she wasn't quite sure she could find the words to tell Kanji that she wanted to be there for him—that she was worried and sorry and she never wanted to stop whatever it was they had because she liked hearing his voice on the phone. She decided that after a whole year away, after that first call, after that angry outburst and the silence that followed… she missed hearing his deep, gruff, emotion-filled voice.

She spent her free time in the following week trying to compose an apologetic email, but every time she just scrapped her attempts and started over. She ignored Yamato-Takeru's nagging little voice telling her that it didn't matter what she wrote, because Yu was right—he wouldn't ignore her.

Finally she worked up the courage to just call him again.

"Hello?"

Naoto let out a breath of relief that she didn't know she had been holding when he picked up, and she was grateful that he didn't sound angry anymore.

"…Hello? Naoto-kun, is that you?" Kanji sounded confused. He had checked the caller ID, apparently.

She realized she hadn't spoken yet, so she quickly said, "Yes, it's me. Hello, Kanji-kun."

There was an awkward silence, and both of them seemed like they were trying to figure out what to say—especially after their last phone call…

"Look, Naoto-kun—"

"Kanji-kun, I—"

They had both spoken at the same time, and they both abruptly stopped. Despite her normally sharp tongue, Kanji spoke before Naoto could. "You first."

Naoto sighed a little. "Very well." She shifted awkwardly, staring up at the ceiling "I… I would like to apologize for my behavior… I know I can't say 'I'm sorry' enough, and I know I can't expect you to accept my apology, but I just wanted to let you know I… I'm definitely here. I know I don't call, and I'm sorry I broke my promise, but I do think about you, and everyone in Inaba… and you're all my precious friends. I wouldn't give you up for anything."

"…"

"I have been inconsiderate, and for that I apologize too. You had every right to yell at me." Naoto bit her lip, unnerved by his silence, "But… you are my friend. And as much as I do think about you and miss you… I worry about you too. Please allow me that small gesture, as your friend, at least."

"Shit, Naoto-kun—sorry." Kanji finally spoke, "I just… I didn't mean ta get all mad at you… it wasn't yer fault. It was just a bad time. I'd be mad at myself if ya really did stop bein' our—my friend because of that stupid thing I said."

"No, it was needed. I don't think anyone has ever made it clearer to me before." Naoto shook her head.

"Yeah, well… thanks for worryin' 'bout me, and sorry for makin' ya worry." Kanji said tiredly, though with a hint of a smile, "Everything's okay now."

"…You did well on the exam?" Naoto asked carefully.

"Got an average grade." He chuckled. "I was jus' worryin' 'cause math ain't my strong suit. But like I said, I got better at that school crap since ya left."

"That's good." Naoto smiled in relief, "Kanji-kun, I really am sorry I never phoned… but I will, more, I promise. As much as I can…"

"Nah, it's okay, I get it—you're a big time detective, ya got school, ya got work and family too, yeah? You go take care of whatcha need ta, and I'll be here too." Kanji assured her.

"Didn't I tell you though? Sometimes… breaks are necessary." Naoto closed her eyes, "If it's not too much trouble… may I call you, at that time?"

"Not at all, Naoto-kun." Kanji's goofy smile was evident in his voice.

"Now that that has been established… I hear you haven't been sleeping when you cram for tests." Naoto played with the bear charm on her phone, "While I do that too, even I know that it isn't a good habit. I hope you've been eating correctly, at least."

"Ma makes sure I do." Kanji pouted, "But I gotta, Naoto-kun. If I don't study, I can't pass the class."

"I understand that, but… the offer of my assistance is still open, whether you want it or not. Perhaps it would be a good 'opportunity' to speak with you more often." Naoto suggested.

"W-w-wha…" The flustered blush was obvious, even over the phone.

"I know I don't keep up with your life right now, but I know that in high school you didn't think of yourself as a very bright person, just because you did poorly in school… but may I offer my insights?" Naoto spoke carefully, as last time she said something similar he yelled at her, "You have a good and functioning grasp on things most students utterly lack—perhaps it comes from helping your mother with the shop. But schools test knowledge by making you regurgitate useless information—however, this is not an indicator of actual intelligence."

"Um…" Kanji stuttered, confused, "Ya just said alotta big words, but I'm pretty sure you were complimenting me? But wassat gotta do with studying?"

"I just wanted to let you know that if you need help temporarily memorizing the information your college wishes you to spit back at them, I would be more than happy to help."

There was a long silence, and then Kanji laughed. "Sorry—I dunno why but that just sounded so funny." He took a beep breath and calmed down, "It's… fine, Naoto-kun. Back then, and even now, I'm barely scraping by… but that's fine, 'cause I don't even know what I'm doin' in college."

"Yes… someone like you doesn't quite need the extra education. You can easily go into the family business without it." Naoto blinked. "Why… may I ask… why you are going to college?"

"…I dunno, I really don't." Kanji answered, "But… I guess I thought I could better myself. Somehow. Maybe I oughta start with my grammar. Ma says it ain't good fer business."

"I see. Well… If I can, I hope I can help you figure it out." Naoto nodded, "And if you're truly adamant about rejecting my help… at least accept my good wishes for you."

"Huh?"

She smiled at the gift he had given her, the reminder that she was still close to home.

"Good luck."