I promised you guys, so here's the next chapter!

Enjoy!

Every Demon Wants His Pound of Flesh

Heart to Mind

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Severus spent the rest of the evening in his room preparing for the following day: Occlumency lessons with Potter in the morning and sifting through the memories Albus left behind. Before he went to bed, he sent a fervent wish out in to the universe that everything would go according to plan. A noise woke him while the sky was a light blue. After attempting to go back to sleep and failing, Severus decided that the gods had ignored his request.

The sun had just started its ascent into the sky as Severus sat up grumbling. He rubbed his face roughly with both hands, running them over his scalp and stopping when he reached his neck, leaning his head back as he squeezed and stretched. He reached over, grabbing his robe from the chair near his bed, and wrapping it tightly around him. He stood up to head to the kitchen; coffee was a definite necessity if he was going to be able to make it through the day after waking up this early. He staggered to the door, uncharacteristically dragging his feet as he thought about what the day would bring. Spending the morning with Potter would give him nothing but a headache; one that was apparently going to start before the sun even came out.

Severus cursed silently as he entered the living room and caught sight of Potter lying in front of the fireplace, hands folded under his head. It dawned on him that the boy was most likely the cause of the noise that woke him, and Severus felt his headache creeping to the front of his skull. He paused in the doorway and when he spoke, his voice came out rougher than usual.

"What are you doing out here?"

The boy did not bother moving from his position on the carpet as he answered, "I thought I was allowed wherever I wanted." His tone was too sharp for a fifteen year and it annoyed Severus. He shook his head at the boy's defiance.

"I meant at this hour."

"Couldn't sleep." Harry shrugged. "Sorry if I woke you." He added quietly.

Severus pursed his lips and turned back into the kitchen. The sound of clinking mugs and boiling water emanated into the living room. Severus returned with two steaming mugs in his hands. He placed one on the floor in front of Harry before stepping over him to sit on the couch. Harry leaned up on his elbows, sniffing at the cup.

"What is it?"

"Poison."

Harry's head whipped sharply around at him, eyes glaring. Severus smirked. "It's coffee, boy."

"No thanks." Harry shoved the cup away and lowered his head back down.

"You're going to need energy today." Severus stated as he took a sip from his own mug.

Eyes narrowed at him as Harry flipped his head to face Severus again. "Why?"

"I would think you'd remember that Occlumency requires a lot of stamina with the way you go about it."

"With the way you teach, I don't remember anything." Harry turned back away. "Besides, I'm not doing it."

Severus took a deep breath, attempting to hold back his frustration at the boy's attitude. "You don't really have a choice."

"Of course I do, it's my life."

"Not where this is concerned. It's a lot more than just your life."

"Excuse me?" This time Harry sat up as he turned around. Severus placed his mug to the side and leaned forward.

"What is Occlumency?"

"What?"

"You heard me. What is it?"

"I don't know." At Severus' glare, Harry added "It keeps Voldemort out of my mind."

Severus flinched slightly at the name of the Dark Lord. "It's more than that."

Harry shrugged and Severus clenched his fists, taking another deep breath. "Occlumency is a magical defense against external penetration."

"Exactly what I said. It keeps Voldemort out."

Severus ignored him and kept going. "The most basic form involves a clearing of one's mind, emptying it from all thoughts and emotions."

"Cause that worked really well for me last time." Harry scoffed.

"Why didn't it work?"

"Because I had a horrible teacher." Harry spat at him.

Severus felt his nails digging into his palms. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and he asked again. "Why did the Occlumency fail?"

Harry backed away slightly at Severus' intensity. "I – I don't know."

"Did you never stop to think about it? Did you never try and realize why you could not complete such a simple task?"

"Hey!" Harry protested. "It's not as easy as you think!"

"And why not?!" Severus' voice rose as he leaned closer, pushing the boy for an answer.

"I don't know!"

"Think, boy!" Severus reached out to give Harry a hard shake on the shoulders. "Think!"

Harry shivered under his grip, eyes flitting back and forth, catching Severus' own as they stared him down. The boy looked lost. Severus let go.

"Your emotions are too close to the surface." He leaned back against the cushions and reached for his coffee. "You're too honest about your feelings, you don't know how to suppress them or push them away. You do not know how to compartmentalize your life."

It was quiet for a moment as Severus sipped from his mug and Harry mulled over what he said. "I don't know how to push them away."

"Chances are you wouldn't be able to if you tried."

"Tried and proven."

"Indeed." Severus tilted his head in acknowledgment.

"So what's going to change this time?" Harry asked, bending his knees and pulling them towards his chest.

Severus thought for a moment. "I do not believe that all your emotions are held onto so strongly."

Harry looked at him, confused.

"Emotions are connected to events and experiences, yes?"

Harry nodded.

"So if a certain emotion remains strong, overpowering even, then it would seem that the event which caused it is still fresh in your mind."

Harry seemed to understand where Severus was going and he looked down. Severus put his cup aside again as he bent forward, leaning his arms on his thighs.

"Occlumency lessons last year started right after the attack on Mr. Weasley. Because of the vision you had, the right people were notified and his life was saved. I think you wanted to keep having this visions."

Harry's head turned slightly as his eyes traced the pattern in the carpet, avoiding Severus' stare.

"I think that you thought you could save more people if necessary and, in your eyes, Occlumency would take that opportunity away from you."

"You were just an ass of a teacher." Harry's eyes snapped towards Severus' face, smoldering with anger.

"I was." Severus admitted, turning the anger in Harry's eyes to suspicion. "But tell me that I am wrong. Tell me that you did not want to keep having those visions."

Harry continued to stare him down, eyes watering slightly. "I could have helped people."

"How do you know that?"

"I helped Mr. Weasley."

"True." Severus acknowledged. "But what happened next?"

Harry looked away again as Severus leaned in closer. "What happened next, Potter?" His voice was smooth, forceful but not rough.

Harry clenched his knees tighter against him, mumbling something under his breath.

"I can't hear you."

Harry mumbled again, a bit louder this time. "Sirius..."

Severus nodded. "You had a vision of your godfather being held hostage at the Ministry. And what happened?"

A tear slid down Harry's cheek. He quickly brushed it away with the sleeve of his nightshirt. "He died."

"Did he die, Potter, or did you kill him?" Harry's head whipped up, eyes clouded over with shock and despair. Severus pushed off the couch and sat himself down on the floor in front of Harry. "Tell me."

Harry mumbled again, burying his face in him arms, shoulders shaking as he let the tears drop. Severus reached out for Harry's arms, pulling them away from the hold they had on top of his knees, exposing his face. Harry tried to pull away from his grip, but Severus cupped his chin, forcing his face forward. Obsidian stared into shining emerald.

"You did not kill Sirius Black."

Water overflowed from the edges of Harry's eyelids, pouring down his cheeks.

"Do you hear me?" Severus gripped harder, shaking him a little. "You did not kill Sirius Black. Now let it go."

"I can't."

"Why not?" Harry didn't answer so Severus kept talking. "It was not your fault. Sirius Black was a grown man who knew what he was doing. He died in battle. It is not your fault, nor was it mine." Severus added, staring pointedly at the boy in front of him.

"I know it's not your fault."

"What?"

"I know it wasn't your fault what happened. I know you tried to get help."

"Then why did you tell Lupin that you blamed me?"

Severus felt thrown off guard and he couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. Harry sighed.

"Remus kept asking me about it, wanting to know how I was dealing with it all. I didn't want him on my back..."

"So you placed the blame on me?" Severus cocked an eyebrow and Harry had the decency to look ashamed.

"If he thought I blamed myself, Remus would never have left me alone and I didn't want to talk about it."

Something seemed off to Severus, but he didn't push. It wasn't his job. All he needed was for the boy to learn Occlumency and succeed at keeping the secrets necessary to complete their task. So he sighed and sat back against the foot of the couch.

"You're going to have to talk to him at some point."

"If I let it go, do I still have to?"

Severus shook his head in an exasperated manner, sighing deeply. "Talking with someone is for your own good."

"But -"

Severus held up a hand, stopping Harry from continuing. "I am not your guardian and cannot force you to do something you do not want. I only suggest that it may be beneficial to you."

"And what about Occlumency?"

"What about it?"

"Are you still going to make me learn it?"

Severus stared at him pointedly, eyebrow raised. "What do you think?"

"I thought you can't force me to do things?"

"I do hold a certain amount of authority over you and, when it comes to safety, there are people who know better than you what is best."

Harry nodded. "I know."

"Good." Severus stated. He bent one leg towards his chest, resting his forearm upon the raised knee. "Now to the matter of 'trust'."

Harry looked at him blankly.

"Learning Occlumency requires a certain amount of trust between teacher and pupil. Do you trust me?" Harry looked nervous and it unsettled Severus. He re-phrased the question, realizing that the boy could not give him an answer. "Do you trust that I know how to help you with this? That I will help you?"

Harry hesitated before answering. "I think so."

Severus sighed. "We'll work on it."

He placed his palms against the floor and pushed himself up. He grabbed his half-empty mug and headed out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Harry leaned back on his hands, turning to follow his path. "I thought we were going to work on Occlumency?"

"I don't know about you, but I need to feel a little more awake in order to work efficiently. I'm going to shower and dress. Be ready in a half hour." He then pointed to the untouched mug on the carpet. "And drink your coffee."