Nate is getting married. He's thirty five and finally settling down, and Blair is even more surprised to find out who he's marrying when she rips open the heavy cream colored envelope with the perfect calligraphy.

Serena.

It's Serena's second marriage and Blair is glad she and Nate found each other. Serena has had a tough last fifteen years, or at least that's what Blair has heard. In and out of rehab. At least one major scandal in the press. Nothing big in the past few years and Blair hadn't even heard that she and Nate were dating.

She doesn't keep up with any of the old crowd. Not since leaving New York. Blair has been living in Paris for the past fifteen years, running Waldorf Designs, building it into an even bigger empire, and with her mom and Cyrus travelling to see her often and her dad in Paris as well, there was no reason to return. She oversees five different labels now, manages an entire design house and is just starting to spread into the Asian markets. Her days are filled with meetings and marketing strategies. She's not the 21 year old girl who fled to Paris to build a new life. She's grown-up.

Blair throws the invitation on the console table in the hallway of her modern chic apartment. It's been featured in several design magazines, which is what happens when you have money to buy the best interior decorators. Blair has agreed to be photographed for each of the articles, always dressed in simple chic, her hair pulled back, every bit the successful business woman. They always include a little about her personal life, that she is a patron of the arts, that she has a foundation that supports up and coming designers. It's good PR for Waldorf Designs to feature their kind and benevolent dictator.

The days of Queen B are gone. She's grown up. It's no longer about scheming to get what she wants. It's about hard work and long hours and eating dinner alone at the counter in her kitchen.

The wedding is in a month. Blair knows they'll be in the middle of planning for fashion week and they have their Hong Kong store opening, and she's expecting to be very busy so she should send an expensive gift and her regrets and call it done. But it's Nate. Nate, who has always been her friend, despite their doomed romance, and that seems so long ago and silly to her now. And it's Serena. She had left New York on terrible terms with her best friend, but now that seemed like something in a different lifetime.

Something tugs at Blair, like the past reaching out and pulling her towards it, and she stops and turns around and picks up the invitation again.

Maybe she'll go after all.

Blair picks up her phone and texts her assistant and tells her to clear her schedule for the first week in June. She's finally going back home.

When Blair steps out of the town car and onto the sidewalk outside the penthouse she's struck by how much has changed as well as by how little has. It's still New York in the spring.

It's not like she hasn't been back to New York since leaving fifteen years ago. Waldorf Designs has a big show during fashion week, and there are a lot of new designs coming out of NYC, but it's always been for business, flying in, breakfast of champions in hotel restaurants, meeting after meeting after meeting, then collapsing into her old, familiar bed in the penthouse just to get up and do it all over again. She's always glad she kept the penthouse just for this reason, because her schedule was always so manic that it was nice to sleep somewhere that mostly felt like home.

Dorota greets Blair when she steps off the elevator. Blair notices that her beloved housekeeper has even more gray hair and asks how the kid are doing. Dorota chatters on about school and college applications and Blair remembers how crazy that time was. She tells Dorota that she's sure things will work out and makes a mental note to have her assistant send a graduation gift to Dorota's oldest.

Blair's heels click across the marble floor and she always has a strange wave of nostalgia when she walks into the penthouse. Things seemed so complicated here but she now realises it was just the chaos of growing up, of figuring out who she was. It was just the prologue to the rest of her life.

There's a large bouquet of flowers on the foyer table, hyacinth, Blair's favorite flower when she was eighteen, and Blair sees a card sitting on the table next to the vase. She picks it up and reads it.

B. So glad you could make it. Can't wait to catch up. S.

There will be events leading up to the event. A bridal shower thrown by Penelope, who has married a real estate investor and has two children who never look short of adorable and are gossiped about because of their atrocious manners. A rehearsal dinner that Lily and Rufus were hosting. Blair was invited to by Serena despite not being part of the wedding party. She never would have imagined not being Serena's bridesmaid when they were at Constance together, but here it was Serena's second marriage and Blair wasn't even in her life anymore. She was grateful that Serena was going out of her way to make her feel welcome, but she thought she would skip anyway. She'd see people at the bridal shower and then at the wedding, so she would probably stay home and eat take out and work on some of the design approvals for fashion week.

Blair wakes up the next morning and stretches a little. Dorota has left breakfast on a tray by her bed and Blair wishes again she could lure Dorota away from New York and to Paris. It's not like she had tried, but Vanye's family was in New York and the kids adored their cousins, and no argument Blair could make convinced Dorota that she should pick up her family and learn French.

She walks through Central Park that day, ignoring all the nagging emails from her office, feeling strangely melancholy about the upcoming event. The branches of the trees are covered in light green new leaves, rustling in the slight breeze, and Blair wraps her coat around her a little more tightly because she's feeling chilled.

She knows there is another reason she hasn't returned to New York. It reminds her too much of him.

He's in California, writing for one of the major studios. And he's published three more books, including the one that skewered her and everyone else she knew, revealing their ugly truths. Blair had hated him for a long time after reading Outside, the follow-up to Inside. Inside was a love letter to her and Outside was their breakup that they never got to have in person. It took a long time for Blair to see its truths, and when she finally did, she spent an entire night crying over what she'd lost.

Blair had seen an article a few years ago that featured the brilliant Daniel Humphrey, a picture of him standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the pacific ocean, the wind blowing his still unruly hair, and the article said he lived there with his girlfriend, some Swedish actress, and they made dinners for all their hipster friends in their updated kitchen and debated the nature of film in contemporary times, and there were pictures of good food and people with stylish haircuts and trendy glasses sitting around a table. Blair had thrown the article in the recycle bin the next day.

Fuck you Dan Humphrey. Fuck you and your perfect life and your snooty friends and your beautiful girlfriend.

She'd tried to move on from him. First with Chuck, giving herself entirely to him once again, standing by him, even marrying him. She was supposed to finally have her dream. That had been short-lived. He had wanted her to move to Hong Kong and she said she couldn't run Waldforf Designs from there, and Chuck had again accused her of not putting him first, and Blair had decided she done. It wasn't the only thing. There were missed dinners and forgotten birthdays, and the never ending message that neither Blair nor their relationship were important in comparison to Bass Industries. It was a lonely five years and she was both glad to have given her love for Chuck one more chance and glad to realize that those teenage feelings of meant-to-be had truly run their course. She just wished she'd realized all of that earlier, that it hadn't taken her those five wasted years.

Blair was left alone, and when she was finally by herself, she realized that she had only one single regret. It was not realizing that she and Chuck would never work out sooner, not holding onto the one person who had always loved her for herself, the one who had cared for her without an agenda, and she regretted not realizing she loved him sooner.

Dan became the one who got away, the one she ached for in the middle of the night, and she learned to live with the regret. It became part of who she had become.

Blair returns to the penthouse to find her phone full of messages and her email nagging at her, and she feels tired and worn out already, although none of the official wedding festivities have started. A woman's work is never done, especially when the woman is the CEO of an international fashion empire. She asks Dorota to make her a snack and puts on some comfortable clothes and gets to work, hoping to make a significant dent before she has to get dressed and head to the bachelorette party.

Blair has never been to a bachelorette party. Well, except her own, a long time ago, when she was trying to make her dream of becoming a princess come true and pretending everything was okay. She doesn't remember much of that night, only one things stands out, and it's the one thing that stands out in most of her memories. The amused look on Dan's face as he gazed across at her in the police station.

Being in New York is making it harder to keep the memories of Dan at bay.

She doesn't really have that many friends. Some of the women in the Paris office invite her to bridal showers and baby showers, knowing full-well that the boss lady will send a nice gift or buy the cake for the event, but she never shows up. Other than that, Blair left all her girlfriends behind when she left New York for Paris, leaving behind any chance of weddings that were destined to become divorce within ten years and ugly bridesmaid dresses. Even when she'd married Chuck it had been a low-key affair, with just her parents and Lily there, Blair wearing a demure sheath and Chuck tapping his foot because he had to get to a business meeting shortly after. There was no ceremony or pomp and circumstance, just a minister of marriage and a few short sentences and the deed was done.

Blair eats dinner in the dining room, reading a few pages in the latest book she's been working through. Then she goes upstairs and gets dressed for the shower. Blair's wardrobe has changed a lot in the last fifteen years. It's still fashionable, but now it's also all business. She tends toward simple clothes, solid colors, an occasional jewel tone. Nothing that screams party, and here she is needing something different. Finally she settles on a plain cream dress and pairs it with some brightly colored flats, and decides to leave her hair down instead of pulling it back in her signature style. She doesn't have to look all business tonight.

Dorota tells her she looks nice when she comes down the stairs and hands her a nicely wrapped package.

"Lingerie." Dorota says seriously. "Sexy stuff."

Blair blushes a little. She thought maybe Dorota would pick out a set of monogrammed hand towels or something equally boring. Blair is struck with the realization that this is most likely not going to be her type of party tonight, full of giggling women and bawdy jokes, and, que horror, maybe a stripper.

"I just want this to be over, Dorota" Blair sighs.

Penelope greets Blair when she arrives at the hotel suit that's been rented. She is older, a little more gaunt, but the same sly demeanor, still ready to talk about you the moment you turn your back, and she hugs Blair like she's her best friend in the entire world. Blair hesitantly hugs her back. Then Penelope leads her to the gifts table and Blair leaves her present, and someone takes her coat, and a glass of pink champagne is being shoved into her hand. It's all a little overwhelming and Blair thinks she could be at home catching up on work, and takes a sip of the bubbly liquid, feeling it fizz down her throat.

She wanders to the edge of the room and stands there feeling strange and out of place. Women are scattered all over, their hands holding glasses full of champagne and plates heaped with fancy horderves. Blair overhears conversations about vacationing in the Hamptons and admiring the latest diamond bracelet from a cheating spouse, and how many languages their children speak, and she feels all alone, that strange melancholy creeping in again, and she thinks that it's going to be a long weekend. Blair glances at her delicate Cartier watch and is wondering how much longer before she can politely excuse herself when she hears her name squealed in a high pitched voice and she looks up just in time to see blond hair and tan skin flying toward her, then arms are wrapping around her and Blair awkwardly hugs her back.

Serena.

"It's been so long." Serena says as she releases Blair from her embrace and Blair smiles at her, and it actually feels genuine.

"Too long," Blair says, always skilled at niceties, but it might actually be the truth. Serena has been through hell and back, then back to hell and back again. Blair is happy to see her looking so happy.

Serena is dressed in a glimmering gold maxi dress and strappy sandals. Her skin is tan and smooth but Blair can see wrinkles around her eyes, her hair is as golden as ever, and as always, Serena dominates the room with her casual beauty.

"So, Nate," Blair says and Serena's smile grows bigger.

"Yeah," she answers. "Who knew."

Serena links her arm through Blair's and leads her across the room to a table by the wall where they sit down and catch up. Serena tells her that the years after Blair left New York were dark.

"If you could snort it, smoke it, shoot it up, I did it." she says, looking sad. "I was so fucked up and so unhappy."

She ended up on the pages of magazines, a strung out party girl, then married some music producer who could support her coke habit and didn't care, until one night she snorted some coke laced with rat poison and ended up fighting for her life in the hospital.

"After I got out I did my first stint in rehab." Serena smiles wryly, "and I hadn't learned yet that part of recovery was relapse."

She did relapse. Several times, and finally a fourth stint in rehab got her clean. Six years now, Serena tells Blair and Blair tells her that she's proud of her, because she really is. Addiction is not a simple thing to walk away from.

"I'm a fucking addict." Serena says. "I know that now. Poor little rich girl, model, heiress, party girl, all of those are my disguises. Underneath it all, I'm an addict."

She got divorced. Once Serena stopped using her husband decided she wasn't fun anymore and moved on to a young, strung-out wanna be actress, and Serena was glad to be rid of him.

"I've been doing fashion reporting." Serena tells Blair. "I have a blog and everything and do some spots on local television. That's how I ran into Nate again. I did some work for the Spectator."

The Spectator had grown into its own, even earning a Pulitzer nomination for an expose on sweatshops in New York City, and Nate was at the helm. He and Serena started dating and the rest was history, and now here they are.

"Nate's a good guy," Blair says, and it's the truth. He's one of the best she's ever known.

Serena smiles and her hands are gripping Blair's, and she tells Blair that she's missed her.

"It should be you next to me tomorrow," Serena says, her eyes a little sad for all they've lost. "You know that, right?"

Blair swallows and for the first time she thinks maybe leaving wasn't the best decision. It seemed like it at the time, a way to have a fresh start, to escape her problems, but now all those problems seem insignificant next to the time she's lost with her friend.

"I'm sorry." Blair says, and it's the truth. She should have been there.

"No," Serena's grip tightens. "I'm sorry. I was messed up and angry, and I wanted to hurt you."

The sex tape released sometime in the year after Blair left, a blast on Gossip Girl, and Blair never would have known about it since she was no longer in the UES universe, except some french tabloid had picked it up, the scandalous Serena Van Der Woodsen fucking some guy on a bar. Blair had seen it and it made her feel sick, Dan and Serena, but then she wondered why she even cared. She was with Chuck. She'd made her choice. She had what she wanted. Didn't she?

It seemed silly all these years later. She and Dan were over before Serena fucked him, even if they hadn't made it official. Blair could see that now.

"I'm just happy for you now." Blair says genuinely. "You seem...content."

Serena smiles.

"I am."

They talk more, Serena telling Blair about her latest writing project. Blair admitting to Serena that life as the head of a company can be lonely. Serena asks about Chuck, says she heard they got divorced. Blair tells her that they don't talk to each other anymore. Finally Blair says she has to go and that Serena needs her beauty sleep anyway, since she only has one more day as a once married woman, and Blair likes that this makes Serena smile.

Blair sleeps well that night. As she falls asleep she feels that something was made right tonight, that she needed to see Serena again, to renew that connection. Blair is glad she came to New York.

The next morning she wakes up and tells Dorota that she's going shopping. Blair has a wedding to go to and she needs something that screams happiness, not competent business woman. She spends the day going from store to store, and in a few the staff recognize her and Blair smiles courteously and refuses to reveal anything about her upcoming summer designs. She eats lunch alone in some new trendy cafe then heads home, having found an elegant, sleek dress in a shade of red that compliments her skin, with a neckline that plunges and highlights her cleavage, a pair of heels that she knows she'll regret buying, and some earrings to match.

Blair finds herself thinking that she's oddly happy, and she's starting to realize that it was time for her to come home. She's been away for too long, avoiding the people she used to care about more than anybody else in the world. Suddenly she's actually excited to go to the wedding and see Serena who will no doubt look stunning and to hug Nate again, and she remembers how Serena had glowed when she talked about him last night, and Blair knows these two love each other.

She doesn't check her emails that day. She gets to be just plain Blair again, only concerning herself with pretty clothes and what movie she's going to watch that night, snapping at Dorota for old times sake, even making a stop at MOMA to gaze at art.

The next day is the day of the wedding. Blair gets up early and sits at her vanity moisturizing her face. She has an appointment for hair and makeup that morning then it's off to the hotel where the wedding is being held. Blair steps out of the town car, blinking in the sunshine, and knows that she looks good.

Blair sits down and smoothes her dress, holding her clutch in her lap. She glances around and sees some familiar faces, but mostly people she doesn't know. Lily and Rufus are sitting up front, Lily looking regal and Rufus less rumpled than usual. The Archibalds are on the other side of the aisle, Nate's mom perched stiffly on her chair, no doubt not entirely happy that her son is marrying someone who has spent time in rehab.

The room is filled with flowers, heaping arrangements that fill the air with their scent, and it's entirely enchanting. Blair thinks that if she were to get married again, maybe she would want something like this. It's beautiful but not over the top, tasteful, and a true reflection of the couple who are about to commit to each other.

A string quartet starts to play and the wedding party starts to make their way down the aisle. Blair shifts her weight in her chair a little and turns her head, only to feel her mouth fall open. Penelope is making her way down the aisle, a smile plastered on her face, and on her arm is someone Blair didn't expect to see here, although she's not sure why not.

Dan.

He looks strangely the same, and Blair is transported back to their last conversation, where he was telling her that he needed an answer and she didn't have anything to tell him, and his voice was angry and bitter, and Blair has always been sad that they left things like that. They never spoke after that day.

Dan.

He walks by her, his pace measured, and he doesn't look her way, and Blair thinks that maybe he didn't see her. She knows she's seen him because her stomach is clenching and her heart is beating so hard she's sure someone will turn around and shush her any moment.

He looks good. His hair is the same curly and slightly unkempt and she can remember what it felt like in her hands, and Blair wonders if she's blushing, giving away her entirely inappropriate thoughts as she's sitting in the middle of a Saturday afternoon wedding.

Dan and Penelope break apart and Dan goes to stand next to Nate, looking out over the people sitting in the chairs, and Blair thinks she sees his eyes flick over her, but still there is no reaction, and maybe it's because it's been so long and he doesn't care. She's part of his past.

The wedding is beautiful. Serana and Nate say vows that make Blair tear up and she is filled with hope and happiness, and how amazing that after all these years they found each other. Then rings are exchanged and bride and groom, Mr. and Mrs. Archibald, are kissing and then rushing back down the aisle and everyone stands up and applauds them. The wedding party walks out after them and again Dan doesn't even glance her way, and Blair realizes that there's no reason he would. She tells herself the disappointment she's feeling is silly, a remnant of the past, grabs her clutch and heads toward the room where the reception is taking place.

It takes Blair a little while to make it through the reception line, and when she finally makes it to the newly married couple, Serena engulfs her in a hug and Nate is smiling and Blair tells them they are the most beautiful couple she's ever known, and it's the truth. Then she's wandering around the room, trying to find a table to sit at, accosted by cater waiters with trays of canapes and crudites. Blair finally find a table toward the back of the room and settles into a chair. She picks at an olive on her plate and nibbles on a carrot. Then a band starts playing and people start heading toward the dance floor, and someone tells Blair the buffet is open. She nods, not feeling that hungry.

Blair scans the room, wondering if she'll see him. Maybe she'll see his girlfriend, the Swedish actress. Blair feels heat climb up her face as she tells herself that there is nothing there, and why is she even hoping to see him. She bites into a slice of cucumber, not even tasting it, when someone taps on her shoulder and slides a crystal glass in front of her.

"Gin and tonic." a familiar voice says "I thought you might like a drink."

Blair looks up to see him standing next to her, his eyes scanning her face like he's looking for something, and she's not sure what it could be. She smiles a little, and Blair will later admit that the feeling that floods through her is relief.

Dan.

TBC