3 Slaps

By: InitialA

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Marvel universe.

Author's Note/A Ton of Pre-Chapter Acknowledgements: Thank you so much, everyone, for all the kind feedback. This was very fun to write! The final slap was inspired by a comment from Treegona. I was panicking about this one, but I rather liked the idea they proposed. So thank you! And thank you Deadpool-rules for asking me to write this in the first place!

He really didn't deserve it, the third time Pepper slapped him.

To this day, he has brought up no less than thirty-six separate arguments about why he didn't deserve it. She has consented to seventeen of the arguments.

There was a lot of press at the gala; they were celebrating the announcement of the new Stark Tower, the prototype for Pepper's desire to move the company in a greener direction. She looked stunning, as usual, in an emerald-green sheath dress with the back cut down to there. He liked there. There was a very nice place to visit. It was very difficult for him to keep his hands off of her. "Tony!" She hissed as his hand strayed lower than appropriate; she was smiling though.

"You worry too much," he replied, tossing a few olives in his mouth.

"We're not public yet, and there's too much press. We'd create pandemonium."

"I always create pandemonium, it's totally fine. You get used to it. It's fun, really."

"I'd prefer it if the pandemonium was about how brilliant it is that Stark Industries can move from weapons manufacturing to sustainable green energy sources in under three years," Pepper said, her eyes twinkling at him from over her glass of wine. "And I'm already used to your particular brand of pandemonium. I've been cleaning up after it for over a decade."

"I don't like that word anymore. Pandemonium. Too many syllables," Tony juggled two olives single-handedly, catching one in his mouth on it's return.

Pepper laughed. "And thermonuclear physics doesn't? Isn't that the book you've got on the bedstand?"

"Sounds like a weird element made out of pandas, and they're endangered. That's bad for the pandas. We're all about the environment tonight, let's not involve killing pandas."

Pepper threw her head back as she laughed. He followed the line of her neck with his eyes, enjoying the way the soft light made her skin glow. After a minute, a toady-ing someone-or-other pulled her away from him to answer some questions about the designs for the Tower. Feeling slightly grumpy, Tony ordered a single malt whisky, with water, and sipped at it. He had been doing well, cutting down on drinking. Most weeks saw only three nights when he had anything, and even then he rarely finished it. Working on the designs for Stark Tower, and it's eventual copies and upgrades, helped curb that addiction-replacing one obsession with another.

Tonight was about Pepper and her baby, the green energy initiative. He would respect that, and control himself accordingly. Even if it meant feeling a bit sulky because she couldn't dance with him or let him ravish her like she deserved.

Movement registered to his left. He managed to tear his eyes away from Pepper, and found a young woman-eager, fresh-caught from school, half of her jewelry looking like it belonged at the sorority founding anniversary dance-giving him the eye. "Mr. Tony Stark, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same. Mindy? Cindy? Julie?"

"Sarah."

"Yeah, figured it was something bland like that. What can I do you for? Interview for the school paper? Headline: Stark is Ridiculously Pleased With Himself, Conquers New Energy Field. Quote: 'I'm looking forward to seeing how the competition tries to keep up this time, should be a laugh.' If that's all then..." He could tell she wanted more than just to talk, but he wasn't interested. The Tony of last year would have played with her, set her up, ensared her, and then left her for Pepper to clean up in the morning. That Tony and the current Tony were entirely separate people.

"Well, thank you, Mr. Stark, but I-"

His gaze had drifted back to Pepper, who was looking more than a little bit unsettled at the seven or so executives and reporters talking to her all at once. He left the young woman stammering at the bar, and swept into the circle surrounding his lover. "Gentlemen, I trust you aren't trying to tempt Stark's greatest assets away from me," he said, putting his arm around Pepper's shoulders-a safe, friendly zone.

"Tony, you can't hog her all to yourself, a mind like that? You should have promoted her years ago!" One of his compeditors said with a laugh that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Yes, I can, do, and will keep her all to myself, and she tells me that every day," Tony replied, grinning at her.

"And afterwards, I tell you to fire me and replace me with someone who actually wants to do all that paperwork," Pepper said, giving him a look for his first remark.

The executives laughed, and the reporters merely looked bemused. The obvious protective nature of him around her caused them to wander off after a few more questions, and with relief, Pepper took a large swallow of her wine. "That was intimidating..."

"I thought you handled it just fine," Tony said, his hand sliding down her arm to rest across her back.

"Tony..."

"Relax, you were fantastic, as usual, and this is just me complimenting you," he said, and brushed her hair back behind her ear, kissing her cheek. "Now, celebratory dance? Or do I have to wait for that until we're at home?"

"I really don't think we can dance to Black Sabbath or AC/DC," Pepper replied, with a hint of a grin.

"Sure you can. You just have to get creative. Or, dance horizontally. Or even vertically. Sometimes a little bit of both," he said, and she smacked his arm, her cheeks flushed pink as she smiled.

The next morning-after quite a bit of dancing, both normal (Hummel) and horizontal (AC/DC), upon their arrival at the Malibu house-Tony was in his workshop fiddling with a new design that would stabilize the marketable arc reactor to code when Pepper coded herself in; while annoyed that the Mogwai was turned off (post-rock was a surprising and pleasing middle-ground between his tastes and Pepper's for music), he was pleased to see his girlfriend.

Until she slapped him up the back of the head.

"What the hell was that for?" It was entirely too early for domestics, even by his usual hours.

"This!"

Pepper held up the L.A. Times. The front page was plastered with a photo of Tony kissing Pepper's cheek, and Pepper looking at him in what could only be described as an adoring way. The headline was blunt: "RENOUNED PLAYBOY SETTLES FOR FORMER ASSISTANT?" Tony grabbed the paper, and unfolded it. The entire bottom half of the paper was about the Stark Tower and what it would mean for the energy industry. "Well. See, then, at least we dominated the whole front page, it's not all that bad."

"Tony, look at it though. Settling? Is that how you want to see us? It's bad enough that there's the whole you promoting me a fortnight before we start seeing each other thing, that angle will be awful if they find out the truth on that. They're hinting to it already. But they put the real story below the fold!" Pepper sat down on a toolbox, cradling her head in her hands.

"I'm hearing two things. One, you're upset that we're now outed to the press, and the world, as potential lovers. Two, they consider this human interest piece more interesting than the green energy plan. There's a third thing, and that's that both of these are my fault enough that you decide the best course of action is giving me a minor concussion-which we all know, from past experience, is a terrible idea."

"All of these things are correct, Tony, what are we going to do?"

He crossed his arms. Really, he was too irritated by being hit to think that any of this was worth bothering with. So what, if they were outed to the press? And the Stark Tower story was still front page. And hell, this was the L.A. Times. Of course they were going to put the local-eccentric-billionaire-does-something-else-unexpected story front and center. The New York Times probably didn't have it. "Pepper, what other papers have you looked at today? News stations?"

She sighed. "Just the one..."

"Exactly. There's no need to start freaking out about this until we start getting calls from PR about it. It's all smoke and mirrors until they release something official anyway."

She looked weary. "Tony, I'm used to cleaning up after you, I'm not used to being part of it."

"And as much as you think I never paid attention to the good job you did, I did. So I know how to handle this. We wait, act like nothing is different, and then we make our move. After they've finished hashing out every bit of the Stark Tower project."

Pepper rubbed her temples. "You're right... You're right, I know you're right, I just... I needed the perspective. It's different on the inside..."

As annoyed with her as he was, Tony flashed her his million-dollar smile. "The good news is, this is the only time you'll have to do it. And sooner or later they'll get bored of us."

She froze for a moment, wide-eyed. He was impressed that her commitment-phobia was about as strong as his. "I... well. Yes."

"Unless that's not what you want?"

She lowered her hands, and clasped them slowly. "That's not what I'm saying, that's... Wow. From you that's very... wow."

He picked up an old rag and ran it along a wrench, giving his hands something to do. "I'm not asking you to marry me," he said, and noted her slight color change, "I'm offering you something solid. Solid would be good. For both of us."

Pepper stared at his hands as they worked. He recognized the calculating look, the way she could turn over a hundred thoughts at once until they added up the way she needed them to. Finally, she nodded, and smiled, a bit shyly. "Solid would be good... for both of us."

Tony grinned. "Good."

Her smile widened to match his. "Good."

"Now, first rule of solidity... you've got to stop hitting me like that when I don't deserve it, geez. Are you sure I'm not bleeding?"

She rolled her eyes. "You so deserved that, and you aren't bleeding, you big baby."

"How did I deserve that?"

"For giving me a migraine before 7:30!"

"Oh, I've done worse to you before 7:30," he called as she went to leave.

She turned back, and kissed him on the lips first, and second where she hit him on the head. "You have, but I enjoyed those things."

Tony noted the extra swing in her hips when she walked as she left the workshop. A smirk twitched on his lips. "Jarvis, remind me to pick up that argument with Ms. Potts later."

"Noted, but if I may say, sir, you have a long fight ahead of you to win that one."

"It's Pepper, Jarvis. Anything with her will be a long fight. I look forward to it."