Chapter One

Jinta shouldn't have broken the little glass box. He shouldn't have shattered the vial of purple-blue liquid inside. It wasn't just wrong because he broke it, and told no one – it was wrong because of what that vial was. Of course, he wouldn't find out until morning. He swept it under a floorboard, glanced around quickly, and pretended nothing happened.

Idiot.

Tenth Division Office Bathroom

"TAAAIIIICHOOOO!" Matsumoto screamed, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She'd woken up, hangover as usual, and stumbled into the bathroom to throw up. Now she found herself straightening. And she was terrified.

Because her back pain was gone. And with it...

She stared at herself. She didn't believe it. She couldn't. But there it was.

"Matsumoto, what the heck is going on? Are you in your towel again?" Her captain had arrived, a hand covering his eyes as he walked into the doorway of the bathroom.

Truth be told, Matsumoto was fully dressed, and she told him so, her eyes squeezed shut. She heard a mutter and saw, out of the very tiniest of cracks in her eye, him flick his fingers apart. And his jaw dropped.

"What..."

"WHAT HAPPENED!" She demanded, spinning to face him and then freezing. "Oh my god..."

Hitsugaya Toshiro gaped at her, then noticed her gaping at him. His cat-like eyes narrowed. "W-what?"

"T-tai..." she walked forward, stunned, fingers outstretched, and Toshiro took a step back. Then he caught a glance of himself in the mirror.

Immediately his hand jerked up to his head. "NO."

"Taicho! You've got-" Matsumoto cried, her hand brushing his chest. He jumped back, eyes huge.

"Stop!" he ordered. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" He pulled at his hair, which was falling in messy spikes all the way down, past his shoulders, to the mid-point of his back. The temperature in the room was dropping rapidly. Matsumoto shivered.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! WHY WOULD I DO THIS?" She gestured to herself. Then she moved. "But... my back feels great."

"MATSUMOTO!"

There was a rustled sound – the door to the office. A blonde girl shoved into the bathroom, looking terrified. "Rang-" The blonde cut herself off, eyes widening. "Oh my..."

Finally it registered, in both captain and lieutenant. "KIRA?"

The girl – or, uh, guy – lifted a hand and touched his bangs, then reached back and let his fingers run through his long hair. "What... what did we..."

"Urahara." Toshiro said darkly, suddenly, and shoved past Kira. He was holding his hakama together at the front, his cheeks rosy as he pulled his captains robe tighter around him.

More shinigami were bursting into the office – a busty Hisagi, a terrifyingly feminine Kenpachi, a taller, more muscled and short-haired Soi Fon. Toshiro didn't bother asking why they'd all burst into his office. He just grabbed the phone and slammed in the number. "Urahara!"

Urahara Shop

"Oi Kisuke!" Urahara woke up sleepily, rolling over. Then his entire form tensed, because Yoruichi was standing in the doorway dressed only in a pair of shorts. That would have been great – except that she wasn't... she...

She was a he.

Urahara was out of bed and rushing for the storefront before he'd even pulled on pants over his boxers. Yoruichi's hand grabbed him and pulled him back. "You can't go out there like that – there's a customer. And you..."

Urahara glanced down. "Uh."

Yoruichi rolled her... his... eyes, and tossed him a kimono. "And you might want to tie that a bit tight."

He nodded numbly, and the phone blared into existence. Cheerfully as he could manage and hoping it wasn't who he thought it was, he picked it up.

Ichigo had reached him first.

"WHY THE HELL AM I-"

A beep occurred. "Huh? Sorry, Kurosaki-san! Another call!" he cried innocently, switching over.

"URAHARA!"

That was Toshiro. Oops!

"Um. Yes. I really think it might be a good idea for everyone to gather in my shop. I'll... explain."

The phone beeped again, but Urahara quickly put it down and straighted up, groaning. "My back hurts." he declared to Yoruichi.

The man stared at him, yellow eyes narrowed. The spiky purple hair was shorter even than it had been when she was a captain. She looked angry. "Get used to it. Or don't, and fix this."

Urahara lowered his head meekly. "... Yes'm.

A/N: Okay... so I... SOMEONE HIT ME. This idea came to me from... fanart. Kick me. Anyways, I don't usually like things like this but... well, I guess because there is a REASON behind this genderswap it doesn't bother me. So, yeah. Please, reviews are wanted. Flames will be used to burn that stupid Peach at the stake. Love~ HikaKiti