A/N: Thank you to everyone for your kind reviews! I really am happy that so many of you are enjoying this; shout out to those of you who've just found the story and have been returning such positive feedback. I'm glad to be drawing in new people! Welcome to my obsession and I hope all of you – even those who've been here since the beginning – continue to enjoy.

This chapter contains adult material. It is rated Mature.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns Mass Effect and therefore, I make no profit.

A Path Rewritten

Chapter Twenty-Four

Admiral Hackett's urgent message was to alert Shepard to the fact that his friend, Doctor Amanda Kenson, could no longer wait for assistance. Now that the Collectors were dealt with – for the foreseeable future – Shepard didn't have to argue. It was time to break the doctor out of batarian custody. Not a moment too soon. Her alliance with Cerberus – and the Illusive Man – was no longer a necessity. It was time to return home – to the Alliance. With her stolen ship and what little Cerberus Intel she had. This mission could very well make that feat that much easier. Never hurt to get a foot in the door and despite her questionable alliance, it appeared she still had the Admiral's trust.

Her crew's trust in her, however, was being sorely tested. Most of them had already voiced their discomfort in her decision to spare the Collector base and turn it over to the Illusive Man. But, as she'd said to a rather skeptical Garrus, she was going to do anything in her power to defeat the Reaper – even if it meant trusting a questionable ally. And, should the Illusive Man become a problem, Shepard would take him down herself if called to do so.

One thing she'd learned over the course of her life was that war was never pretty nor was it fair; at least this way, the lives lost in the horrendous monstrosity could mean something.

If they didn't, if it all had been a waste, Shepard feared for her sanity.

Turning over the base was unfortunate, but necessary. At least for now. The man had been doing everything in his power to prepare for the inevitable war with the Reapers – a bottom line she could could respect. Even if she had noticed that he'd started becoming a little too human centric lately. Shepard wanted to save whomever she could – race be damned. With the Illusive Man, it was quickly becoming humanity first and at any cost. And on the heels of that realization, came another – one that prompted her decision to hand over the base; the Alliance, Earth, wasn't ready for the Reapers. Not even close.

The honest and brutal truth was that Shepard was just as concerned as the others. She didn't gamble and trusting the Illusive Man was one hell of a gamble.

The harsh reality was that, with the Reapers, all bets were off. She was going to have to gamble, if they had any chance of sorting all of this chaos out before it was too late.

Shepard sighed. Setting aside the data pad she'd been studying, or at least had been pretending to study, and stood from her desk. She needed to get her mind off such morose thoughts and what better way than to do what she'd been avoiding so studiously since returning to the Normandy.

It was time to go see Kaidan.

The walk to the med bay was quick and painless. No one stopped her once they saw the determination in her every step. Determination to see that Kaidan was alive and well and to put behind the possible confrontation awaiting her once he found out what she'd done. Despite how far they'd come over the last few weeks, how close they'd become, she still feared he would reject her. Push her away and hurt her. He could be judgmental, and so very stubborn, with his beliefs – something that had been vehemently proven on Horizon.

Shaking the negative thoughts away, she stepped through the doors and found herself smiling at the sight of Kaidan fending off an overly concerned Doctor Chakwas. When his brown eyes found her, he gently moved the doctor aside and came toward her with long, fast strides. His relief was palpable as he pulled her close.

Damn if her heart didn't stop when he sighed her name into her hair. "Vika. I'm glad you're okay," he breathed as he pulled back just a bit, "I was worried."

"You're glad I'm okay?" She muttered the rhetorical question in disbelief. His hand founds hers and squeezed it reassuringly. "You're insane, Kaidan." She gave a half choked laugh. "I'm the one who's glad. God, when Joker contacted me about the attack...when I found out the Collectors had taken you, I nearly lost it."

He nodded, lips pressed thin into a frown. He knew all too well how she'd felt, how helpless. In his case, he'd been too late – hadn't chased her. And she hadn't come back with Joker when the Normandy went down; she'd went down with it. How had he managed to keep it together the way it seemed he had? At last she could partially understand why'd he had been so upset with her on Horizon. In his place, she might have been too.

"I need to go." She withdrew, rubbing at the nape of her neck.

"Right. Probably got lots to do now that you've told off the Illusive Man." He didn't bother to hide the slight upward tilt of his lips. "What's the plan now that you're free?"

"I'm not quite home free yet. I need to leave the Normandy for a bit. Admiral Hackett has asked me to go after his friend, Doctor Amanda Kenson, and to do so alone. He's not officially backing the mission – it's strictly off the books. She's being held against her will by the batarians."

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"Shepard." He reached for her but then decided better of it, letting his hand fall back to his side. "Come back safely, you hear me?"

"I will." They lapsed into a tense silence, each withholding words that they wished could be said, words that needed to be said. Finally, Shepard turned to the doctor. "Chakwas, mind giving us a few moments alone?" She nodded and quickly abandoned her post, leaving Shepard and Kaidan with mediocre privacy. Shepard knew all too well that they were never alone, not with Joker and now EDI. "Kaidan," she sighed his name and paced to the windows of the med bay, "listen. There's something I need you to know and I want you to hear it from me. Not from anyone else."

"What is it?" he asked, voice wary.

"Kaidan. Do you trust me?"

"You know I do. I wouldn't have asked to be here if I didn't." No hesitation.

She took a deep breath. When the words came out, they were hurried. "I didn't destroy the Collector's base. I let the Illusive Man take it."

"What?" The word was loud and echoed harshly throughout their surroundings. Her shoulders tensed as he came to stand behind her with a sigh. "Why?"

Her body turned to face him, standing tall. Starting from the beginning, much like that time in her cabin, she told him everything that had happened since his abduction. Reminded him of their need for more information on the Reapers and that the Collector base could give them that information. She told him of her need to have the base mean something – anything – so that the lives so horrendously taken within were not wasted. She could only hope he understood.

She considered it a small victory when he didn't yell. More so when he didn't appear angry, but pensive. He gave another sigh, long and drawn out, as he dragged his fingers through his hair. That pensive line appeared between his dark brows, telling her he was at least upset. Or perplexed. "I know that look, Kaidan. Hit me with it."

In spite of himself, he laughed. He folded his arms behind his back and began to pace the length of the room. His strides made her wonder if he was really upset, or just frustrated. "Vika," he started, "we've been through a lot since Eden Prime. And damn if you didn't just save my life – again. I shudder to think what the Collectors would have done to us had you not come when you did." He paused, pacing back toward her in thought. "What happened on Horizon, what I said, came from the pain of losing you. And when I saw you there – it hurt to think you might have faked your death to join Cerberus." He nodded, but more to himself than to her. So she waited, and listened. "It's never been a secret that I don't trust them. I'm not naive enough to believe that we'll always agree and never argue but Chakwas was right when she called me on bullshit. As were you. This is your ship, Shepard and, while I don't trust Cerberus, I do trust you."

Her shoulders slumped in relief. "Kaidan..."

He held up his hand and frowned, meeting her eyes. "That being said, I have to tell you that I believe handing over the base to the Illusive Man was a bad call."

"Maybe, maybe not." Shepard rolled her shoulders in a shrug. "I can't say for certain. I do know it was a gamble. One that may or may not pay off. Honestly, his teams would have reached it long before the Alliance could have. And we need the edge the base can give us against the Reapers, even if it has to come from the Illusive Man."

"Fair enough." Kaidan huffed with frustration. "I almost wish were as ignorant as the rest of the galaxy about the Reaper's existence."

"Me too, Kaidan, me too."

"Hm. When do you have to leave?"

"Soon," Shepard admitted. Despite that, she came to him and cupped his stubble-lined jaw with her hands. Her lips found his, softly, a mere flutter across his own. "But I do have a little time."

There was a potent air of desperation between them as they stumbled from the elevator into her cabin. Lips and tongues met once and once more, only disengaging long enough to make way for an article of clothing to be removed. There was something about this moment that felt important – as if it were the last moment they would spend together. And it could be, she knew. She'd died once already. Any moment could be their last – a life lesson she and he had learned in the most painful way. Why not live with some desperation? Some passion?

Kaidan pressed her hard against the cool glass of the aquarium, massaging her breasts with his rough and calloused hands. His lips teased her neck as he tweaked her nipples, making every nerve in her body throb in response. With a moan, she wrenched his head up and kissed him hard; a greedy, hungry mesh of lips and eager tongues.

She couldn't get the rest of their clothes off fast enough not that she didn't try. Clothes were ripped at the seams in some places, but she found she could care less. When they were nude at last, she brought his eyes level to her own and told him, more clearly now than she had at the Collector's base, "I love you, Kaidan Alenko."

"I love you too, Vika Shepard." His umber gaze bore into her own, blazing hot as his fingers gently stroked the firm muscles of her thighs, thumbs brushing in soothing caresses across her skin. "I should have told you a long time ago. Not telling you how I felt was the one thing I regretted the most."

"I know, Kaidan. I wanted to tell you sooner – as far back as that night before Ilos. Hell, after Virmire, I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I was already too far gone." She chuckled and rubbed her bare leg against his. "At least we got a second chance to say it, right? Better late than never."

He gave a small smile. Then, without warning, he moved his grip to her buttocks and hefted her up against him. He drew her legs around her waist and started the walk toward the bed, each step more torturous than the last; his hardened length rubbing against her heated core in the most delicious way with each movement. She could do little more than hold onto his shoulders, her head lolling back in pleasure. She expected him to drop her onto the bed, but instead he pulled her impossibly close – breast to chest – mashing their bodies together until they could be one. He brought her head down and kissed her hard, passionately, distracting her to the fact that he was now pressing the head of his erection against her.

With a long groan, he pressed himself inside of her – slowly. Inch by inch, contradicting the desperation and fever that raged between them. She whimpered, holding onto him, trying to urge him to fill her completely. Once he was buried to the hilt inside of her, he held her there and kissed her leisurely. She could feel his erection throbbing inside of her and it made her throb and ache in turn.

"Kaidan," she pleaded into his lazy kisses, gripping him tightly, inside and out.

"I want to take my time, Vika. I need to." He tugged at her lip, withdrawing his length slowly, a fraction of a inch at a time, before rubbing it deep once more, touching that sponge-soft spot that made her head reel. "Slowly."

He laid her back against the sheets of her bed, starting a slow but invading pace. Her head lolled back once more, against the pillows, her back arching to press her breasts against his muscled chest. Her hips gyrated desperately against his own, to tempt him into a faster, harder pace, but he did not relent. He kept it slow, he kept it teasing. He took his time with her, caressed her in any way that brought her pleasure; tugging her nipples, bathing said nipples with his tongue, or brushing his fingers against her engorged clitoris with each thrust. And he kept her from the edge, stopping his ministrations and easing his thrusts, whenever she was close to falling over it.

Her skin shone with perspiration and her lungs burned with each deep breath, each long moan. Yet, he too, was not as cool as he led her to believe; his own breath was harsh, skin glowing ever so slightly with that biotic blue, his features drawn taught in concentration. His hands were tense, tight, where they held her own to the bed. She knew he prided himself on his control, ever since Rhanna had broken his heart. Shepard, though, found nothing more arousing than seeing him lose control. Knowing that it was she who could do that to him.

"Kaidan!" She arched her hips up, clenching her muscles tightly to milk at his throbbing erection. He shuddered, eyes blazing intensely, as droplets of sweat dripped from his brow.

She had to admire his will. He tried to hard to hold on but she knew by the way he shuddered that his hold over his control was tenuous at best. She knew it was a losing battle – one he didn't want to win, not really.

Shepard wrenched one hand free and slid her fingers into his hair, yanking his head down to kiss him passionately. She stroked his tongue with her own, tugged his lip with her teeth. She squeezed his length, wiggling her hips against his tantalizingly, anything to get him to snap. And he did. With a flare of his biotics, he rolled them and brought her astride his hips. Shepard was more than happy, and eager, to ride him into pleasure-induced oblivion. And she did just that, riding him for all that she was worth, head falling back with loud, almost lewd, moans. He teased her breasts and nipples before he moved his hands to her hips, using the leverage to yank her down on him hard and fast, over and over again. She nearly screamed when she tumbled over the cliff edge, fireworks of white exploding behind her eyes. With a last, frantic, series of thrusts, Kaidan shuddered and pulled her to his chest as he spilled himself within her.

They fell to the to bed in companionable silence, a mess of sweaty limbs. Shepard pillowed her head on his chest, listening to his heart as his thundered against his ribs. As it used to, it lulled her into a peaceful slumber. Once more nightmare-free.

If only it had lasted.

Three days gone and three hundred thousand batarians dead.

She'd had to make a call, one that would haunt her for years to come. Three hundred thousand were dead because of her; she'd had to crash an android into the mass relay, effectively wiping Aratoht from the galaxy map. Shepard had tried to warn the colony about the impending explosion, but because of Doctor Amanda Kenson's indoctrination, there hadn't been any time. The bitch had kept her sedated until it was almost too late.

Destroying the relay had been the only option. Either that, or let the Reapers in their back door. They'd literally been minutes away from invading, pressing home the frightening fact that they were coming and there was, effectively, no way to stop them from doing so.

So now three hundred thousand batarians were dead, merely to stall the invasion.

There was going to be war – and soon. At the debriefing with Admiral Hackett, she came to realize it may not just be war with the Reapers, but the batarians as well. They were going to want blood for Aratoht and they both knew that Shepard was going to held responsible. In penance for her decision, she agreed to surrender herself over to the Alliance. To take the hit for Earth so they could focus on the Reapers and not fear a batarian retaliation.

"I'll get my affairs in order, Admiral, and meet when and where we discussed." While she stood tall, head held high, she felt hollow inside. So many were dead and soon, most likely for good, she would – could very be – dishonorably discharged, if not court martialed and left to rot in the brig.

And Kaidan...

"See that you do, Commander." Admiral Hackett shook her hand, holding it for a moment too long. "You did the right thing and you're doing it now. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise – Earth has never been in better hands."

She wanted to take solace in his words, but couldn't. The Reapers were coming and, instead of preparing for war, she was going into imprisonment.

Once again charging off and leaving Kaidan behind.