Thinking With Portals

By: Kuroyami Fukaikuro

I still don't own shit.

A/N: So yeah. Also, it's time to play, GUESS THAT REFERENCE! Throughout the chapter I'll be referencing random things/memes/etc. I won't tell you when I'm referencing them however. The first person to guess all my references will be able to give me a random story idea and I'll write a fic for it! Keep the idea to something that could encompass a one-shot. To participate, you must guess where the reference is from, and, if applicable, who said it. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor. And no if you guess where that came from it doesn't count, because it's too obvious. Wow this is a long A/N.

Chapter Two: Fuck It, I Can't Think Of A Chapter Title

After hearing the voice, Marceline looked around, both in her cell and outside. When she didn't see anything, she asked, "Where are you?"
"I'm in the cell next to yours. How did you get here?"

"I was knocked out by Shinobu and brought here."

"I saw them put you here. I mean, how did you get to Aaa?"

"I don't know! I told you, I was knocked out. Fionna brought us to a field-"

"Wait, Fionna got captured?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Then we're gonna lose this war. Fionna's the only one who could even get close to matching Shinobu's power."

"Trust me, I know a guy who's easily equal to her. So what have you been doing since the Great Division?"

"Oh, not much, running my half of the kingdom, strangling pixies, getting tortured. The works." He stuck his arm out of his cell and reached across to her. She grasped it and held it tightly.

"I missed you," she said. "But on a more important note, why haven't you just escaped yet?"

"Because if we leave the cells, this whole area is instantly bathed in UV lights. If we somehow survive that, then the whole place explodes in five minutes."

"How do you know?"
"Let's just say, this place is made of the leftover rocks."

Marceline sighed. "Then we're gonna have to hope that the others somehow get out." Her fingers tightened around his, but he did not recoil. "It's been a long time, and I honestly thought I'd never see you again. I've made some mistakes here and there. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you. You complete me. I just hope that you forgive me for most likely making similar mistakes but with reversed gender roles."

"Sure, so long as you stop sucking at guitar. We need one in the band." They laughed, and had hope that they would survive.

…

Room Number One

Princess Bubblegum woke up and noticed that she was tied up and hanging over a deep pit. She looked across from her and saw a man who looked like he was made of bubblegum. "Hello," He said, "are you the alternate reality me?"

"I believe so," PB responded, "are you the leader of the Candy Kingdom here?"

"Why yes, I am. Are you one of the people Fionna asked for help?"

"Yes. How were you captured?"

"Shortly after she left, Shinobu attacked, as if she planned for all of this to happen."

"So, what do we do now?"

"We hope that someone else has escaped, because we can't do it on our own. The ropes are magically protected, and we're being hung over a pit of lava."

A surprisingly bright, sunny voice spoke over their heads, from stereos. "Hello there, Prince and Princess! How are you doing-"

But the voice was cut off when Bubblegum shouted, "What do you want from us? Do you expect us to obey you?"

The voice turned dark and cold as it said, "No, Princess, I expect you to die."

"Well, that complicates things."

…

Another Random Room

Dante woke up and looked around him. He was locked in a chair, manacles around his wrists and ankles. His weapons nowhere to be seen. He looked up, and noticed a glass ceiling. He heard a noise, and looked left. A twenty-something woman with grayish-silver hair and blood-red eyes.

"Hello, prisoner." She said.

"I assume that you're the Shinobu that I've been hearing about. I'm not impressed."

"But I'm not the one in the chair."

"True, but it's not very secure. I could probably break out of here."

"If you do break loose, I have over nine thousand clones trained, ready, and willing to kill you. And I'm right here."

"Exactly how many do you have, and what are they armed with?"

"I'm not stupid. I'm not gonna tell you vital information like that."

"Then tell me why you haven't killed me yet."

"Isn't it obvious? Because I have a use for you. I'm gonna hypnotize you and make you mine," she said with a hint of seduction as she traced his cheekbones with her index finger.

"Um, aren't you married? 'Cause I'm married. I'm afraid it won't work out."

"I'm a Queen. I'll take what I want, when I want. And since you're the strongest man in the world, with a power to match mine, my husband is obsolete. A child between me and him would only be second in power to a child between us."

Man, I hope I wasn't this creepy when the Lich King controlled me. "So, you expect me to just comply to your demands?"

"That would be fortunate, but I don't think you will, and that's why I'm hypnotizing you," she said as she looked him in the eyes. She was right in front of him.

"Yeah, how about, no." Dante effortlessly snapped free of the manacles and kicked her in the stomach before elbowing her in the face and slamming her into the wall. "That… was easier than I thought it would be. But knowing my power, and knowing that she's a reverse gender of me, I know what she's like. I'd better find the others and get out of here before she activates the self-destruct."

He looked around and saw a fire axe. He grabbed it, kicked down the door, and slaughtered the guards outside. The survivors fled into a room. He quickly looked at a map and found out that the room had no exit except the entrance. He smiled, and began to chop at the door.

When there was a face sized hole, he looked in at the cowering guards and said, "HERE'S DANTE!" with his face tilted slightly sideways and a smile on his face. He broke down the door and killed them. Their weapons were near the room that Finn was in. He shortened the axe to a tomahawk and grabbed a knife for his left hand, before starting down the hallway, his aura begging someone to cross his path.

…

And Yet Another Room

Seraphina woke up and saw that she was surrounded by ice statues. Due to the difference in temperature, she could feel another fire elemental behind her. "Hello?" she asked tentatively, turning her head in an attempt to look at the person behind her. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Flame Prince, Ignatius. Who are you?"
"The Flame Princess, Seraphina."

"So you're the alternate version of me. I just have some advice for you."

"What?"

"Keep your eyes on the statues."

"What?"

"Look at them and don't blink."

She looked back at the statue in front of her. It was no longer holding its hands to its face. Now its hands were outstretched, a gruesome expression on its face. "What happened?"

"They move when you're not looking! Don't blink! If your eyes start to cool down then close one eye, then the other, but never both at the same time!"

"Just melt them!"

"I tried that! Shinobu used some magic or something, because they won't melt! We just have to keep looking at them and hope someone breaks out and frees us!"

"Can't we melt the ropes and cautiously get out?"

"Tried that too."

Seraphina sighed and stared at the gruesome face before her, doing her best not to blink.

…

Just One More Room

Seraphim woke up and saw nothing, for she was blindfolded. Thankfully, she had trained for such a situation, and used her other senses to view the surroundings. She was in a circular room, with a table to her left and another person to her right. "Show yourself, or die!"

"I'm not the one in the chair."

"That doesn't mean shit."

"Actually, yes, it does. Do you know who I am?"

"Yes, but do you know who I am?"

"Judging from your fighting style, I'd say you're Hermes."

"My fighting sty- ah, yes, you're using your enhanced senses, aren't you? So you are the alternate universe version of me."

"So what do you want?"

"I want information. I want to know why you're here."

"To kick your demented asses. Next question."

He sighed. "So, it's gonna be like that, huh?" he said, pulling out a power drill. "I got lots of experience torturing people getting information out of that gray-skinned son of a bitch. You should just fess up and tell me what I want to know."
"I already told you, we're here to kick your demented asses."

"Hard way it is then." But as he leaned forward to drill her hand, she head-butted him in the face and knocked him into a vat of electric eels, knocking him out.

She bit the leather around her wrists and freed herself before looking around to see that there was a map lying flat on the table. She picked it up and saw where her weapons were. She picked up two scalpels as her weapons. She kicked down the door and mercilessly slaughtered everyone in the area. Then she saw on the map that the vampire holding cells were close by.

…

Last Room

Fionna woke up, and found herself tied to a chair. She looked around, and saw Finn already up and struggling to get free. "Don't bother," she said, "Shinobu makes her ropes out high tensile wires. They're virtually impossible to break."

"It would be easier if I could concentrate; I could power-screech us out… Speaking of which, why can't I concentrate?"

"I tried that. I think she reinforces them with magic or something. And you can't concentrate because of the sedative she gave us. We'll be like this for an hour at most."

Finn sighed. "Then I'm gonna focus on not thinking of important information."

"How?"

"Singing a song that Dante taught me."

(watch?v=RxRzR63adPo) (this only counts if you can name all the people in the video, name the _ being referenced, name the creator, say when the _ started, and name the scariest character of all of them)

After listening to him sing, she shook her head, saying, "You're all insane. I can't believe I asked you for help. We're all gonna die."

"Shhh, I'm singing. Sing along! Your mind will get distracted and won't think of anything relevant. And they're gonna-" He stopped talking and resumed singing when someone walked into the room.

It was Fionna.

"What the fuck?" Finn exclaimed.

End of Chapter Three.

Review or DIE!

A/N: So, what references did you get? Also, is Fionna hypnotized? WHAT THE FUCK'S GOING ON!