"Amy?"

I stirred, searching for the familiar voice through the haze clouding my mind. I waited for it to speak again.

"Amy?"

I opened my eyes. My vision shifted in and out of focus. Everything was bright and blurry. I caught sight of him with my right eye, squinting to get a better look. My body tightened in fear and confusion. He smiled down at me.

"How's my girl doing?"

"R-Ricky?" I stammered, my mouth gruesomely dry, my lips numb. I tried to move, tried to sit up, to be near him, to make sure it was really him. But the large bulge in my abdomen kept me pressed against my mattress and a small discomfort shot through my spine.

"Don't move" He whispered, beginning to stroke away my bangs "You're going to be fine Amy. Everything is going to be okay"

"I'm so worried" I mumbled, fighting both tears and my drooping eyelids. I was so tired "They keep saying something is wrong. With the baby…"

"I know. I don't want you to worry. I'm looking after him"

"Him? Its a boy?" I smiled "Y-you met him?"

Ricky looked at me grimly "Just keep breathing. You're doing great. I have to go now"

"No" I said, starting to cry "No. No. No. Stay with me. I miss you. I'm in so much pain. Please Ricky"

"Just breathe" He whispered again, stepping away from me as he blurred into his surroundings

"Just breathe"

"Just breath. Good girl" A voice said soothingly. I opened my eyes. My mother was next to me, stroking away my bangs. I pushed her away, starting to cry.

"I just want Ricky mommy" I stammered, painfully rolling onto my side.

"I know baby" She whispered, rubbing my stomach affectionately "But you know he's with you in your heart and very soon you are going to get to meet his child"

"Maybe sooner than you think mom" I said quickly, grabbing onto the plastic railing surrounding my bed as a strong contraction erupted in the bottom of my stomach "Ow mommy! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

My mom helped me back into the normal birthing position, calling for my dad who had left the room a few minutes earlier for some air. He ran back into the room, followed by my doctor and some nurses, who began prepping me for delivery.

"Okay Amy! This is it!" My doctor shouted, helping my feet into the stirrups "Mom. Dad. Grab a leg, we've got a baby to deliver!"

"No!" I cried, tears now streaming down my face "I'm not ready! I'm too tired! I-It hurts too much! And Ricky isn't here!"

"Amy, whether or not you're ready, this baby is ready. Ricky's baby is ready" My doctor encouraged "We are right here. You're going to be fine. Just breathe. Lets push for ten okay? Go!"

Time froze. I pushed. Time stayed frozen. I kept pushing. I pushed for 37 minutes. The same amount of days it took me to realize that I was irredeemably in love with Ricky Underwood.

My parents held both my legs back, motivating me to keep going as I screamed in both agony and defeat. I heard his voice again, although of course my parents say they couldn't hear anything. It was a warm whisper in my ear. An "I Love You", followed by the ear piercing scream of a baby boy.

My baby boy.

"His name is John" I spoke slowly, carefully jostling my two week old son in my arms. He was dressed in a blue onesie and wrapped in a white blanket; both a gift from Ricky's mother Margaret. I was standing at the foot of Ricky's grave. It was the middle of February and the early afternoon sun was stretched beautifully across the cemetery. A light wind blew across the grounds, making John stir.

"I named him after your foster dad. I thought you would like that" I paused, not used to speaking to Ricky this way. I hadn't been to the cemetery since his funeral almost eight months earlier.

"He's two weeks old today… I was in labour for 18 hours and after he was born they kept doing tests to make sure he doesn't have CF, even though I already knew he'd be okay… I wish you could see him Ricky. He has your eyes. He's just so beautiful and its killing me to not be able to share this with you"

I stroked John's head, desperately trying not to cry.

"Your service was beautiful. Your mom was there, and a few of her friends. Your high school friends, Eric and Joel, the ones who brought you to the hospital the night of your attack, they were there too. They really care about you and they miss you. We exchanged numbers. They're coming home this week to meet John. They say they'll stop by"

"I haven't been here since saying goodbye to you that day and I'm sorry. It was just too hard. I couldn't even go to school for the first month and I got behind in all of my courses. Your mom was a big help Ricky. She's been so good with John and she was there the moment he was born. I'm taking care of her, I promise"

"I don't know if I was too high on pain killers that day or if I really saw what I saw, but I know you were there. I heard you. I know I did. And I want you to know that I love you too and I always, always will. Everyone always goes on about how I saved your life and how lucky you were to have me… but Ricky? The truth is that I was lucky to have you. You saved my life. Without you, I would be no where. You showed me what unconditional love looks like, sounds like and feels like. You proved to me the capacity for love we each carry and I was never more alive, happy or free then when in your arms. Moving on without you has been next to impossible, but seeing the strength you displayed in times of unbearable despair is something I treasure every moment of every day and it has been my saviour in all of this. I will love you until the day I die just like you continue to love me long after your final breath"

EPILOGUE

"John!" Amy called from the living room, busy throwing a pile of lego and action figures into a red bin "You had better be in bed when I get in there!"

"I am mommy!" the six year old yelled back from his place in his bedroom beside his bed. He threw the toys in his hands onto the floor as his mom entered his room and hurried to find his a cozy spot underneath his covers

Amy sat on the edge of her son's bed near his pillow and pulled him securely against her chest. He leaned against her warmly. "Can you tell me a story?" The little boy asked sweetly

"You want a story tonight? Okay… What do you want to hear?" She asked John, gently beginning to brush his hair away from his forehead.

"Can you um… Can you tell me about daddy?"

She looked down at her son, momentarily losing herself in those big brown eyes. His eyes.

"Where do I start?" She sniffled, pulling her son in closer "Oh I know! Okay… ready?"

John nodded his head eagerly

"I met him on a Saturday. The first Saturday of February…."

AUTHORS NOTE

There is no way I can even begin to explain how much writing this story has meant to me. I thought about it three years ago while writing my grade 9 exams and here I am now, a senior in high school with an amazing fan base full of incredible readers.

I know I owe you all an explanation as to why I have been absent for so long. In August my computer broke and everything I had stored on it disappeared. For good. I lost all the writing I had completed and not yet posted, including the last chapter of this story. After that, I was really discouraged, especially with such a tragic ending to such a beautiful show.

However, after much encouragement from my friend Hisboo13 (who I dedicate this final chapter to by the way) I have decided to continue writing again. This winter break I will be also finishing Red and beginning in the new year, Adjusting will be updated with 7 final chapters. There will also be a continuation to Adjusting posted later on this year.

Thank you for everything you have done. This story was a huge success and it means so much to me that I have been able to create such emotion with my writing. Thank you for standing by through my leave of absence and I hope you will continue to read my writing as I am no where close to being finished with this show.

I hope you enjoyed this final chapter. Please make sure to leave a comment, letting me know what you thought.

I love you all immensely! Thank you for everything and HAPPY HOLIDAYS :)

Now and Forever -

- Riverbkstar