So I was missing writing Jason and Reyna and since the MoA sneak-peek where Jason is reffered to as Piper's boyfriend [side note: I refuse to give up just yet- not all couples from the first/second book can make it, right?] I'm doing all the Jason/Reyna writing I can in case it becomes officially cannon (if it does). I'm also going to use this opportunity to apologise for any lateness on the chapters. I'm encountering some bodily difficulties (I'm not kidding) and so typing is hard and so is, like, reading and holding a pen. Anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: me no own.
Playlist: I Won't Give Up
I Won't Give Up on Us
She looked at Jason and into his icy blue eyes. She always tried to figure out how she'd describe them to Hylla if her sister ever asked about the other praetor. Reyna still didn't know. The sky, the glow that came off snow on a really cold day, the sea of a really, really pure bay in Greece that vacation pamphlets showed… It depended. Since they'd met, it had changed with him in a way- his eyes got older and less baby blue. And he'd definitely changed a lot to be Jason Grace, praetor of Rome, defeater of the Titan Krios, leader of the raid against Mount Othrys. When she'd first seen him he'd been Jason Grace, Fifth cohort, terribly in need of a growth spurt. If the eyes were a window into the soul: sometimes he was any sixteen year old guy, happy to be a sixteen year old guy. Sometimes he was like a god; a boy who'd seen much more suffering than any boy and who'd come to terms with it and with the fact that it might happen to him, seen a million things and knew he'd see a million more. It was a kind of sadness, actually.
"You do realise that this is, in fact, impossible." She said.
"We live in a world where unicorns are used for healing and ghosts protect us," he said. "Nothing is impossible."
"You are," Reyna clucked her tongue. "And so are we. I'm sorry Jason but I'm not going to be one of the twenty million praetors who just hooks up with the other because that's what's 'meant to happen'."
"Good," Jason said. "Good, I get that. I understand; you don't do things because that's what you're socially meant to do. That's one of the great things about you. But can you please just do this because you love me and I love you?"
Reyna looked at him.
Her whole life the key sentence had been echoed by every human person in her surroundings. Circe, Hylla, the other spa attendants, the customers, the other prisoners on Blackbeard's ship… 'Don't trust boys'. They were apparently top-notch lying and manipulating software designed by the gods to destroy humankind. She'd heard it all. Reyna didn't believe it, and that was another socially meant thing for her to do. That wasn't why she didn't let Jason Grace get close.
"Jason, I don't love you." She said. She didn't love him. What she felt wasn't love, it was just all the endearing things about Jason coming together. 'Love' was when you promised to stay with someone forever and forever with Jason scared her because she knew that it wouldn't last and she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted.
"Maybe not love, but come on Reyna, there's something there."
"No there's not, and I don't need to explain myself to you."
"You just don't want to explain yourself," he said, "to anybody. You like being the girl nobody really knows and can pinpoint to a time or place or associate with anything except strength and might and strategies and skills and titles. Well guess what? You screwed up, because I know you. And I fell in love with you. And only you."
Reyna looked away.
"I don't care what it takes," he said. "I can back off whenever you need me to back off. I'll wait for you."
"Well then shut up and leave me alone and wait now." Reyna said angrily.
"No," Jason said. "Because I want to be sure that I'm waiting for something. And I want to be sure that I did everything I could to make that happen. You know me as well as I know you. I don't back off easily. Gods know I'm tough that way."
"Well then I'm cursed, aren't I?" Reyna said.
"No," Jason said. "Just convince me that I've got no chance."
Reyna tried to stare him down but that didn't work with Jason. He'd been raised by wolves- literally. He'd grown up in the Fort. Fear wasn't the same to him as it was to others- not by a longshot. "You've got no chance," she said.
"Not convinced," he said.
Nobody had ever fought that hard for Reyna. People had fought hard for her, or against her. But never for her like he was doing now, and the truth was… It was kind of refreshing and flattering.
She got frustrated with herself for thinking that way, or maybe it was against Jason-she wasn't in the mood to dissect her emotions, and she swirled around, her cape mimicking the movement in a rustle of fabric.
"I won't give up on us!" Was the last thing he yelled out to her before she went back home, having left the principia and Jason Grace behind.
He was sitting on the roof of Cabin 1, watching the stars, letting his feet dangle and trying to find all the constellations he knew- those Lupa and the legion had taught him when he was a kid, and those that Thalia and the hunters (who forgave him the fact he was male since he was also a Grace) had taught him. He wondered if that was what life would be now. Managing the Greek and the Roman things at once. Was anything from the fifth cohort and the legion still 100% reliable at this point? Was anybody with a title still 'the augur', 'the best', 'the brains' now that this whole new cast was there?
Two people joined him and sat on either side.
"What's up, bro?" Leo said, "You homesick?"
"Sort-of," Jason said. "I'm remembering a lot of great things I liked about it."
"Like what?" Piper asked. He knew that the whole camp had been curious about the roman camp, and it was probably thanks to Leo, Piper and Annabeth that he hadn't been stormed by questioning Greeks. He owed them answers before anybody else.
"War games," he said. "Moving around from couch to couch while we eat. Rows and rows of legionnaires just standing there during muster. The slang of Latin and English that everyone uses and Lupa and the Lares hates. Vitellius trying to be some kind of personal coach to me. Just the smell of grass in the Fields of Mars does it."
"Yeah," Piper said. "Homesickness." She squeezed his hand and it comforted him.
"Don't worry man," Leo said. "I'm working my butt and back and arms and legs off to get you back to your smelly grass."
Jason grinned, "I appreciate it."
"Speaking of which," he yawned. "Uncle Leo's butt, back and limbs are tired. We just wanted to check on you, man. Keep stargazing or being nostalgic or whatnot. Adios."
"'Night Valdez," Jason said.
"Sleep tight," Piper said.
Leo climbed down the roof of Cabin 1 with the skill of a guy who'd done it many times before.
Piper turned to him. "And you're sure you're okay?"
"Yes," he said. "I'm sure."
"I wanted to talk to you," she said. "I know that you've isolated yourself the last week or so because your memories were coming back. Is that okay? Are they all back? How is it here?"
"Yes they are. And I'm fine. And if you're asking how it is, no, I don't have some kind of inner Roman giving me urges to kill any of you." Jason said.
"Oh good, I can stop stealing your sword at night," Piper said. "I'm kidding." She said before Jason could ask if she was serious.
"I'm fine," he said. "I'm even growing to like this place. I'm just a little… homesick."
She nodded and looked out at the stars along with him for a little while.
"This is really selfish," she asked. "But do you remember someone special?"
"What?" Jason asked.
"A girlfriend," she said. "Or boyfriend, I guess. Not judging."
"No, definitely not a boyfriend." Jason said. "And… no."
"Oh," Piper said. "Does that mean that… you know the quest…?"
He knew what she was saying. Was what they had on the quest real? Was it good? Was it going to keep on breathing and growing like a spark?
He felt her as close as she actually was, then. The smell of cinnamon filled his nose and he liked it. He saw the colours in her eyes, even in the dark, and the beads in her hair and the spots on her pyjama bottoms. She was always so casual and effortless and natural, and not just when she was sitting there talking to him- to pretty much everybody.
He didn't reply to anything, calculating risks in his head and balancing pros and cons and asking himself questions.
"I promised someone," he said, "that I wouldn't give up on them. And by now she's probably given up on me but I won't. So I'm sorry Piper, but no."
"Okay," she said. She took a deep breath and Jason felt a little bad for having messed with her head, but not too bad because he'd always been honest that there could be some girl, and because now he knew that there was. "I hope that one day she does hope on you Jason, because if not, that'd be her loss."
"I hope so too," he replied. He looked at the stars. "I hope she's back home with the smelly grass, marching in front of rows of legions, eating with a million people a meal and hoping on us."