Not So Happy Campers (Part 1)

"This is where it all started," Tai waved his arms in the air.

"I guess I was lucky that I was sick that summer," Kari looked at her surroundings. The camp looked like it had been deserted for years. The weeds were towering over the trees and the cabins looked horribly dilapidated. "So this is what I missed out on, huh?"

"Hey! In our defense, this place was a lot nicer back then than it is now," Sora put her hands on her hips.

"But that would explain why we got to rent the cabins for 5 dollars each," Izzy said.

"No, we got the cabins for such a low price because I'm a bargain shopper," Mimi squealed. "If it weren't for this BarGAIN app," she pointed to her smartphone, "we wouldn't have scored this deal!"

"Sure, that's it...," Yolei dropped her duffel bag on her foot because she didn't want her bag in direct contact with the floor.

"Well, since we're already here, we might as well stay here," TK shrugged.

"Are you only saying that cause Dad already drove off?" Matt smirked.

"Yeah," TK sighed.

"But TK's right. We might as well make the most of it," Cody said in his raspy voice.

"How long are we going to be here for?" Davis whined.

"We told our parents a couple of days," Ken said.

"Days? I don't want to be here for days!" Yolei screamed.

"There's not even cell phone service around here!" Joe waved his phone in the air, trying to get some bars. "NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO FIND US!"

"Stop your bellyaching. We'll just have to rough it out," Tai kicked Joe in the bum. "Let's just put our stuff in the cabins for now."

"Whoa! Look at that!" Davis pointed at the sky. All of the kids looked up and saw an aurora in the sky.

"Not this again," Sora groaned.

"What do you mean by 'again'?" Ken's voice began to shake.

"You'll find out soon enough!" Matt yelled.

"Buenos dias! Coming to you live from File Island, I'm your host, Gennai!" a short, old man pauses. "Okay, so no applause? Fine. Anyways, I will be hosting the fifth season of the hottest reality TV show ever! In case you haven't watched any of the previous seasons (shame on you, by the way), lemme explain to you how this show works. Several contestants will be stranded on this two-star island and they will be divided into teams. These teams will compete against each other in the craziest challenges ever, then they will have to face the judgement of their fellow peers. Every several days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Loser Cruiser, and leave File Island for...EVER!"

Gennai walks over to a circle of logs. "Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow. In the end, only one will be left standing. To survive, these contestants will face things like roaches, ugly digimon, crappy camp food, and each other! And to make it all awesome for you viewers, this whole island is covered in mini cameras, so you won't be missing a single moment!" Gennai winks.

"Now, you're all probably wondering why someone would want to sacrifice things we take for granted, like cleanliness, delicious food, fuzzy pink bathrobes, and privacy. Well, what if I told you that they're all competing with a chance to reunite with their digimon partner? Yep, I know! Awesome, huh? The last one standing will win the chance to keep their digimon partner forever. That's not all! To sweeten the deal, the winner will also receive one million buckaroos and an interview with Total Gamer Magazine. Isn't that sweet?" Gennai pets his balding head.

"Whooooaaaaa!" *Crash*

"What the hell was that?" Gennai looks around him nervously. He puts a headset on and presses the earpiece close to his face. "Uh huh...okay," he speaks into the mouthpiece. "Okay, so our contestants have now arrived! Come on, let's get a look at them!"

"Gfff off meeh," Davis mutters.

"You get off of me!" Yolei pulls on his googles and snaps them.

"OWWW!" Davis rubs his head.

"Will someone get off?" Izzy groaned.

"Yes, please!" Cody said. He was squished all the way at the bottom.

"Greetings children. Good to see you guys again. I just wish it were under better circumstances," Gennai walks over to the pile of children. All of the kids immediately got up.

"What do you mean under better circumstances?" TK asked.

"Well, you guys are here to compete in Total Drama Island, right?" Gennai asked.

"Total Drama...huh?" Mimi grabbed the top of her hair.

"Total Drama Island," Gennai repeated.

"Never heard of it," Matt shook his head.

"Well, now you have. Now, if you don't mind me, it's time to split you guys into teams!"

"But we don't want to be divided into teams. We just wanted to go camping," Tai protested.

"Hush, hush! Time to split up," Gennai said as he nudged Tai to the circle of logs. "Now there are twelve of you guys and I need to make 4 teams..." he rubbed his chin.

"That means you need 3 members in each group," Joe said.

"Oh, thanks Jim," Gennai smiled. "It takes longer for an old guy like me to come up with answers nowadays!"

"Jim's my brother," Joe whispered. Sora patted him on the shoulder out of pity.

"Now, everyone! Get in a straight line. I will give you a number, so don't forget it. Good!" Gennai marched over to the kids and began counting. "1...2...3...4...1...2...3...4...1...2...3...4! Okay! Team 1, over here. Team 2, there. Team 3, there. And Team 4...here. Now I'm giving you the guys the opportunity to come up with your own team names. Five minutes!" Gennai pulled a timer out of his robe and turned the knob. The kids started to huddle up into their groups and started to talk.

*Ding!* "Time's up! Team 1, what name did you guys come up with?" Gennai said.

Tai, Davis, and Matt stepped closer to Gennai. "We came up with the name Kick-Ass Firepower!" Matt said as Tai and Davis gave each other high-fives.

"Okay, then...Team 2?" Gennai fiddled with his mustache.

"The Brain Brigade," Joe gave Gennai a thumbs-up. Izzy and Cody just shrugged. This was one of those rare times where they've witnessed Joe being enthusiastic about anything.

"Well if that isn't the nerdiest name I ever heard," Gennai made a face. "Team 3?"

"THE VAGINAS!" Yolei yelled. All of the boys stared at her.

"What?" Mimi's jaw dropped.

"That is NOT the name we decided on!" Sora growled.

"And that is NOT the name we are going to use," Gennai rubbed his temples. "Team 4! I assume you guys have a good team name?

"Yeah! We're calling ourselves the KKK," Kari said proudly. Ken nodded as TK shook his head.

"The WHAT?" Gennai gasped.

"The KKK," Ken explained calmly. "You take the K from Kari, the K from Ken, and the K from TK...and that's how you get KKK! Genius, right?"

Camera Confession:

"I told them we should have went with the name TKK instead, but did anyone listen to me?" TK shrugs. "I'll give you a hint...NO."

"When does anyone listen to you though?" the camera pans over to Davis, who is sitting at the corner of the outhouse.

"Hey! What are you doing here? This is my private time!" TK gasps.

"Please, you wank off in public anyways," Davis rolls his eyes.

"No...," TK stares at him. "You do."

"Okay, you got me there," Davis sighs, stares at the camera, and nods.

"Figures...I should have came up with the names by myself," Gennai popped some baby asprin in his mouth. "From now on, Team 1," he pointed to Tai, Matt, and Davis, "will be Courageous Friendship. Team 2," he pointed at Izzy, Cody, and Joe. "You will be known as Reliable Knowledge. Vaginas...I mean, Team 3," he pointed to Yolei, Mimi, and Sora, "your team name is Sincere Love. And Team 4, you guys will be called The Leftovers."

"The Leftovers?" Kari winced.

"I guess that's us," TK shrugged.

"But why are we called The Leftovers?" Ken frowned.

"I don't know. But anything would be better than being called Vaginas," TK smirked.

"That's true," Kari shrugged. "Leftovers!" she put her fist in the air.

"Leftovers!" TK and Ken joined her.

"Okay, that wasn't weird..." Gennai said.

*Beep beep beep* "What now?" Gennai took his beeper out of his belt and put his headset back on. "Uh huh...well why didn't you say so before? Well, I have an excuse. I'm old! What excuse do you have? Okay, fine! I will," he clicks a button on his earpiece and puts his headset away. "Okay, kids. I've got some...interesting news to tell you."

"What is it, old guy?" Davis said.

"Well..." Gennai bit his lip. "You'll see..."