A/N: This is my third attempt at a NCIS fic, and my first at full on slash ever. I have made the wise choice to have the majority of this story written before posting. I haven't decided how graphic I will let this get. The current version is pretty steamy; but that part is several chapters away. Unfortunately, I still haven't figured out the 'find a Beta' thing. So please, forgive my horrendous grammatical errors.
PS. I do know there is already a fic called "Devastation" posted but I started this story months ago, with this title. My apologies to the other author but I just don't have it in me to change the name.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own NCIS
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Something was happening between them. He wasn't quite sure what it was but there was a definite something. He'd been in love with Gibbs for a long time but he had given up and decided to move on, with EJ, for now. Then Gibbs began to act possessive and the weird conversation in the basement tilted Tony's world on its axis. But there was no time to address whatever it was with the whole Port-to Port Killer situation, then Mike Franks was murdered and Gibbs went into… well, Gibbsmode. Now that the hellishness of the serial killer had been resolved Tony decided to test the Gibbs waters again.
They were alone in the bullpen he and Gibbs finishing up their respective paperwork, Tony decided to take his shot.
"Hey Boss, wanna come and have a beer with me?"
Tony couldn't believe he was being so forward, but he was done playing around. If nothing else the events of the past few months were a wakeup call.
Gibbs looked up at him above the rim of his glasses and just stared before speaking.
God he is so sexy in those things. Tony's stomach did a small flip.
"Sure, DiNozzo just give me a couple of minutes."
Tony smiled his first real smile in a long time.
"Great Boss, I'll just be over here finishing up."
Tony walked back to his desk with a noticeable spring in his step.
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Gibbs thought that he may be making a mistake but he was tired of tip toeing around his feelings.
Life is too damn short Jethro. Sink or swim, make your move.
He'd felt this way about Tony for a long time, dating Hollis Mann just confirmed it for him. Seeing Tony with EJ Barrett had made him crazy with jealousy. He had to at least try and see if there was any hope of Tony and he working out.
He finished his report and began shutting down his PC he glanced up to see Tony watching him with affection. It gave his stomach butterflies, and other parts of him were reacting in other ways. The thought of being on the elevator alone with Tony… It was one of his favorite fantasies, was sending jolts of pleasure through him.
Calm down Marine! You can't just push him up against the elevator and… Oh hell…
That was not a helpful image. He took a few deep breaths thought about paying taxes or watching Ducky do an autopsy, and shifted around in his chair for a moment before turning his desk lamp off.
Hopefully he won't notice… Who am I kidding?
"Let's go DiNozzo, I could use a drink."
"On it Boss."
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Tony sensed something was bothering Gibbs as they made their way to the elevator through the darkened bullpen. As they reached the elevator and the door opened casting its light Tony caught himself checking his boss out. That's when he saw it.
He's aroused… Damn now I'm aroused.
Tony quickly averted his eyes in the hope that Gibbs wouldn't see him looking. It was too late.
Gibbs' patience with all this unresolved sexual tension had come to its end. He reached out and flipped the emergency stop switch.
Tony closed his eyes and groaned inside his head. This isn't going to be good.
When he opened them again he was startled to find piercing blue eyes staring back at him and Gibbs so close he could feel his body heat. His mouth went dry.
"Didja see anything you liked Di—Tony?" His voice was low and soft and sexy as hell.
Tony swallowed in an effort to bring moisture back to his throat. "Umm yeah, I uhh—"
"What are you going to do about it?"
Suddenly he found his libido in the driver's seat and he reached out his hand and pulled Gibbs to him and gave him a long and slow kiss, there was no tongue, just lips as he poured as much emotion into that kiss as he could.
It was enough. Gibbs responded by pushing him back against the wall and savaging his mouth with his, it was hot and passionate and made Tony weak in his knees.
He heard himself moan. "Gibbs…"
"Jethro, not Gibbs."
"Jethro…" Tony sighed as he felt Jethro's erection pushing into his.
"Look at me." Gibbs commanded.
Tony opened his eyes.
"This is not just sex. You understand?"
Tony nodded. Oh thank God.
"We do this, that's it; there will be no one else for me or you. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Jethro… I don't want anyone else…only you." Always…
That did it. It was all Gibbs needed to hear and he began kissing Tony, touching him, each caress sending flames of desire and pleasure coursing through the younger man.
"Tony…"
"Yes…"
"I want you so much. But we can't, not here, not now. It's too soon."
Tony groaned in frustration. "Yes now. Do you know how many times I've jerked off to this fantasy? Now, please Jethro." He whined.
Gibbs chuckled and said, "You jerked off thinking about me, doing this to you in the elevator?" He skimmed his hand across Tony's hard on.
"Yes, dammit! You are a cruel bastard, either fuck me right now or quit touching me." Tony gasped.
Gibbs looked at him a moment with a predatory smile and said, "I jerked off to fucking you in this elevator too… but we can't. So come on."
Tony felt like he was going to die of a bad case of blue balls when Gibbs turned around and started the elevator back up.
"What the hell Gibbs? Are you trying to kill me?"
Gibbs laughed. "No, but when I fuck you the first time Tony it sure as hell won't be in the elevator. Now let's go get something to eat and figure out some things, you know, talk."
The growl in Gibbs' voice when he said he would fuck him nearly made Tony come. But the fact that Gibbs wanted to talk shocked him out of his desperately horny state.
"Talk? You want to talk? Jesus. Who are you and what have you done with Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"
The elevator dinged open to the parking garage and Gibbs walked out leaving an incredulous Tony standing there with his very pink, and plump, thoroughly kissed mouth, hanging open in bewilderment. It made controlling himself all the more difficult and to see Tony looking so debauched was making his resolve weaken. He couldn't help but imagine what Tony would look like when he was coming.
Self-control Jethro… You need to make things very clear first.
"Are you coming or not DiNozzo?"
Tony hopped between the closing doors and said, "No and that's the problem, dammit."
That made Gibbs laugh again. "What's the matter Tony, you can't take a little waiting?"
"A little waiting? Are you serious? I've been waiting for you for fucking years."
Gibbs stopped a few feet from his car and gave Tony a look that made him nervous.
"Years, DiNozzo?" His voice was filled with regret and disbelief.
Tony stepped closer and placed his hand gently on Gibbs face and said earnestly, "Yes, Jethro years. I have lo—wanted you for years. I never dreamed I could have you and now here we are and all that wanting has left me craving you like… like oxygen."
It was possibly the most romantic and sexy thing Gibbs had ever heard and it touched his heart, making him even surer that slowing things down was the way to go.
He kissed Tony sweetly and said, "Come on let's go, I have beer and steaks."
Tony felt the shift in the mood to something more tender and he got into Gibbs' car without a word.
The two men were quiet for a few minutes and Jethro drove more sanely and cautiously than Tony had ever seen before.
"How long Tony?"
Tony wasn't sure how to answer that or even if he should or could.
"I think I knew for certain after Kate died and you were so—nice. It scared me. It made me realize that if something happened to you… it would kill me."
Gibbs felt a tightening in his chest when he thought back to that time.
"That long hunh?"
"Yeah, lame isn't it?"
They pulled up into Gibbs' driveway and he turned to Tony and said, "No, not lame Tony, I have felt… something, for a long time too."
Tony laughed. "We're idiots."
Gibbs smiled a genuine smile that made his eyes light up. "Yeah, we are."
They got out of the car both smiling and feeling a sense of anticipation. Tony followed Gibbs through the door and living room and into the kitchen. When Gibbs opened the fridge he handed him a beer and pulled out the steaks.
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Yeah, why don't you make the salad and take out the baked potatoes. We can warm them up on the fire."
"Okay, sounds good." He took out the two aluminum wrapped potatoes and all the things for salad.
Tony set about making the salad, cutting up tomatoes while Gibbs started the fire. It felt so good and right to be doing this; he could easily see himself and Jethro being domestic this way. His reverie was broken by the feel of Jethro's strong arms reaching around him, his body pressed into Tony's back. Tony leaned into Jethro and sighed contentedly.
"This feels good." Gibbs said.
"Yeah, it really does."
Tony rested his head on Jethro's shoulder and looked back at him. Jethro took advantage of the position and kissed him tenderly. The older man trembled with unspoken emotion.
Tony's head felt like it was floating away from his body and the feel of Jethro holding him, Jethro's scent intoxicating him, sent him blissfully reeling. Time seemed to expand and this moment was everything, the whole world, his life collapsed into this one beautiful moment. If being held by Jethro could do this to him then making love would destroy him utterly. He was so drunk with the moment he forgot himself and whispered, "I love you…" When he realized what he'd done he tensed up and his heart began to pound.
Shit! You moron!
Gibbs heard him and before he could respond he felt Tony tense and begin to pull away, but he held him there and said quietly with feeling, "I love you too Tony, so much."
Tony turned around in Jethro's arms and looked at him with wonder.
"You do? Really?"
"Yes, I do… really."
Tony smiled the most beautiful smile and said, "Thank you."
Gibbs was so moved by the simple and sweet words he felt his throat tighten and all he could manage was a kiss. So he kissed Tony and poured every ounce of his love into it, he looked into Tony's eyes and showed him what was in his heart and saw the moment when Tony really understood, really believed that he was loved, and it filled Gibbs with joy.
Tony couldn't stop the tear that sneaked its way out of his eye and he was embarrassed. But Jethro stopped his hand before he brushed it off, and bent his head and kissed the tear away.
They looked at one another searchingly and came to some silent agreement. Jethro gave Tony another peck on the cheek and went back to start the steaks.
Tony watched him go. Everything was too good to be real. It had to be a dream. He'd never felt so much happiness and peace before. As the endorphins from being so close to Jethro began to fade he suddenly felt fear creeping up on him. This was too good, it was what he always wanted, which made it very dangerous. He felt himself slam back down to earth all the bliss blown away by his doubt and fear.
What the hell am I doing?
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