Hey. Lots of you had questions and were a little bit confused on Stevie's past and problem in 'Never Knew'. So this is a little bit of an explaination within a sequel. I thought I'd make it since many of you seemed to like the first one and my writing style with this couple.

So yeah, that's all for now.

Happy reading. :)

Stevie Baskara

5-28-13

3:42pm, Tuesday afternoon

It's been a year.

A lot an happen in a year whether peple consider it a wide time spam or not. My case is a different one though; I didn't count the time spent, only the memories made with the seconds, minutes, hours and days. But isn't that the point of life? Living every day like it's you last?

Lisa didn't focus on living.

And for a while, neither did I. Lisa beought me down with her, filling my head with lies that eating was wrong, that people wanted to stuff you, torute you with the fate of being fat. But when she had first started, I tried to coax her out of it-give her the right amounts of food (nothing greasy or fried, if I even tried to her screaming and ranting wouldn't end until it was taken away from her sight), try and talk her out of going on three mile runs, and gagging up the food I had actually managed to shove down her throat. None of the things were an easy task.

It's not like she needed to lose weight-starve herself all the time. Lisa was skinny enough as it was; at the tall height of 5"10 and weighing in at 110 pounds, she had the body of a teenage supermodel. But that wasn't good enough for Lisa.

Her body had to be thinner than a piece of paper-almost non-existant-to be satisfied. And whenever she tried to convince me my body wasn't good enough for my natural looks ("You could be thinner," "Don't you want to impress somebody?"), I just pushed myself away from her.

But that's what hurt the most out of all of it, being away from the person I had depended on the most. Before high school and all the drama that came along with it, we were perfectly fine with ourselves. Lisa had felt on top of the world everyday and wasn't afraid to share her happiness and her remarks wherever she went. We had been two peas in a pod.

Then high school happened.

The first week or so had gone perfectly: had picked out the 'right' outfit, didn't get lost in the huge building, got all of the same classes together. But you know those stupid, typical high school movies with all the cliques and mean girls and crushes? That's what effected Lisa the most. Worries about never being the best and never finding somewhere to fit in took over her common sense and trains of thought, drowing her until she was nothing but a desperate, attention-craving teen.

But she (we) had never been number one-and liked it that way. We were pretty content with good grades we got and the things we did with just each other without the worry of being judged.

Lisa begged week after week for me to join her, so we could both be beautiful and perfect together: be number one of high school. After a full month of constant words strung along to pull me in, I caved. I didn't want to, but she gulited me into by stating that best friends went through everything together and that we should always spend our time with each other.

I didn't realize how much work and effort she put into losing weight. We read weight loss magzines by the dozen and spent hour after hour, day by day watching various exercising videos and movies.

Lisa was doing quite a job at hiding it from everybody as well. Her parents seemed unknowing, and everyone at school just thought she was eating a kind of special diet or whatever that was request by the doctor. I, on the other hand, was stumbling every time I was given a unneeded glance or asked an unnecessary question on school.

My mom took notice of everything that happened to me. So when I came back from crack-of-dawn jogs or just returned home from Lisa's sweaty and exhausted, she felt the need to ask about certain things. Lying was hard-my mom and me were trying to trust each other on what one another said. And lies pretty much broke the goal of honesty.

But school had been easier. Since Lisa was always more of the social type between the two of us, people barely ever noticed me and foucsed on the beautiful talkative girl instead of the quiet tough one. Back then in freshman year, the Perfs were not our greatest worries with their girly actions and vicious attacks on the normal people of high school. Perhasps them not existing yet helped a little, but sight of all the thin, skinny, athletic females did just the thing to snap what self control Lisa ever had.

And I, of course, was dragged down with her.

Eating was no longer needed to live. She stopped eating altogether-no healthy food or junk food. So naturally Lisa screamed nonsense at me whenever she caught me eating yogurt or fruit in the cafeteria at lunch of breakfast. Sometimes (usually on the nights when she was too tired and her body was begging for the carbs and calories it desired) she would lock me in the bathroom after she threw me in there for catching me eating and wouldn't let me out until she was satisfied with me gagging up whatever was in my stomach.

In a way, it was relief when she died. It was a chance for to stop the unneeded diets and workouts and just be me again. But somehow I kept doing it.

After the first week had passed after her funeral (I didn't want to go but my parents insisted that I did for closure even though they never liked her after high school started like me), I thought I was going insanse; that my brain was just shutting down and never starting up again.

Her spirit seemed to follow me everywhere no matter where I was at whatever time. I remember vaguely waking up in the middle of the screaming when no one was home; my parents never returned from busniess party until after two a.m at the earliest.

The picture the news felt like broadcasting (for a week even though everyone got the right impression of her being dead) was a different-unsettling-Lisa-one with limp, greasy hair, raccoon eyes, and way to skinny body.

Her parents-her dad mostly, since Mrs. Willis had been sobbing to much to utter more than two or three understandable words at a time-said the police were still investigating. I knew the truth though; a best friend with a relationship like ours would know the reasons behind the other death wouldn't they?

Maybe if she had not chosen to starve herself and medicated with beer and drugs that one night-the one that completely ruined her-she would still be hear today. I could imagine her ghost spirit surround by her raging arua, screaming at me until her throats gone dry for telling the decetive that.

When I met Zander, everything just broke. I felt myself healing faster- becoming more of my natural self then I ever did with Lisa. But my demons were pulling me back, refusing to let me leave without a pitiful fight.

When the perfs did exist, they only focused on the material things-clothes, make-up, what phone you have-and not the physical parts. I suppose thats was better, not having to put up with constant reminders of what Lisa put me through. My other friends didn't, too focused on their own priorities to worry about mine. Except for Zander; he made side comments about the food (or lack of)portains like a worried, truly concerned friend would.

Therapy is helping. I am eating, but I don't want to be rushed- a simple meal of a salad, fruit cup, cottage cheese, and a glass of Pepsi is my regular meal, no matter what actual meal time it is. Dr. Longhart said it was baby steps; I was in the process of making progess.

Maybe some day (in the far, far away future) I'll foget about the days I tortured myself, was near the brink of insanity and death. But I'll never forget Lisa. Even though she had made some terrible-and very unforgiving-mistakes, she had been my best friend until high school. We suffered through first crushes, kisses, rumors, and drama together.

And everyone makes mistakes. It takes a big person to accept them; an even bigger one to see past them. My best friend won't be at my wedding, meet my kids or husband, and she'll never go through the biggest land marks of a life. But, like I been thinking about since the past year, did Lisa want to miss them?

I guess that's that. Life and learn, as they say.

Stevie Baskara

5-28-13

5:32pm, Tuesday afternoon

Zander glanced at his girlfriend as she exhaled slowly and closed her leather journal. "I'm done," she declared as he wrapped his arms around her. "And couldn't be more freaking relieved that I am."

He ingored the annoyed tone she used and laid them both on her bed. His lips brushed against her neck. "I'm really proud of you," Zander whispered against her ear, "that was a hard thing to do." Stevie closed her eyes and sighed, pressing closer into his chest, enjoying his body heat.

"I just hope I never have to go through this again."

I'm not real happy with the ending. It seems a bit rushed like last time. But mainly this had been made for the explaination you guys had reviewed for so this is it.

Review, please. :)