November 8, 3rd day after my dad put on the Helmet…

I feel so torn. Torn over my major crush on the HOT Boy Wonder, and the grief I've carried since my dad…. This is just like Mom's death. I'll keep this diary, and record all the "firsts": The first morning, first week, first month, first birthday, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, ect. without him…

I've been eating way too much ice cream, helping M'gann make WAY to many cookies. Good thing Wally West's a born human vacuum cleaner. He eats them as fast as we make them, so I don't eat them. No matter what, nothing helps. Not even beating the stuffing out of practice dummies, imagining them as the Doctor Fate who blackmailed my dad makes me feel better.

Well, Robin helps. I get the sense he's know even greater pain. Something about him being an orphan… At least, in a tiny way, my dad was alive. I knew this because Boy Wonder hacked some Watchtower footage. Apparently Nabu is protective of me, the way my dad is was.

He laughs at all my bad jokes, he gives me things I left at the old house, and he enjoys helping me play pranks on Wally… If anyone at all can help me, it's my boy wonder.

November 9, 4th day the Helmet of Fate fiasco…

That was so funny…

Robin and I played the most epic prank on Wally! Arty helped. She lured him to the kitchen, and into Robin's snare trap. I used my magic (Epat Yllaw ot eht foor!) to duct tape him to the ceiling. Then the three of us began to eat lots, and lots of chocolate. After a half hour, we had to let him down. The computer announced Black Canary and Batman. He tripped Artemis, and raced to his room to change. It turns out M'gann had told her uncle J'onn about us. We endured a five minute lecture, but it was SO worth it! I've got to make it up to him, though. The 11th is KF's B-day. Perhaps a new pair of goggles, or locking him in a closet with Artemis for Seven Minutes in Heaven.

November 10, 5th day after….

I feel so bad. Every time I have fun, I think of my dad, all alone in the Helmet. Why did I ever put the stupid thing on? We were desperate, yes, but we could've-should've-done SOMETHING!

I break down crying over everything. Anything. Even the most random thing (like popcorn, or the song "Open Arms" by Journey-his favorite-) remind me of him.

Robin performing back flips on his trapeze bars reminds me of the time we preformed with the circus for a year.

Kaldur's serious attitude and focus make him seem like my dad when I was in trouble.

Wally tells me of what it was like in the Helmet, and I imagine my dad in there. He doesn't even have a deck of cards to play solitaire! Now I understand sadness. I think Artemis, Robin, and Kaldur understand. Robin said he saw his parents die, and Kaldur and Arty never talk about their dads…

November 11, 6th day after

Today's Wally birthday. Wow, Kid Flash is 16, and he still acts Robin's age…. GTG, time to set up the surprise party. I decided on the goggles, because Artemis nearly broke my arm at the mention of Seven Minutes in Heaven.

November 13th, one week, one day.

What a shock. We had a nice party (M'gann and I made the cake) that Batman crashed, and I took out a whole ice fortress by myself (Dad will would be proud). But the real surprise is that Wally got the important job, and he saved an entire country. He saved Queen Perdita of Vlatava. He turned down an awesome sword to keep the case he transported the heart in, and I think he's grown up a bit. Not much, but a bit. Just wait until I tell Da-No. I'm not ever going to tell Dad anything ever again. I might as well accept that.

A whole week. I'd never imagined it would be so easy, and yet so hard. I feel like a part of the Team without even trying. But I miss Dad more than I can count.

It's coming on Thanksgiving. Every time I see a stupid decoration, or see a Christmas commercial, I turn around to tell him, or get my phone out to text him, and grief washes over me all over again. This'll be the worse holiday ever. Until Christmas. But at least I've got Robin. I hope/

November 14th, one week, two days.

I beat Robin at Wii fencing! Ok, so he had pulled his calf muscle, but I beat ROBIN at something. I'm never gonna let him live this down! Plus, he slipped up, and told me he's a mathlete. Not much, but I know more about BW than anyone but Batman and Wally.

November 17th, one week, five days.

I hate undercover missions. Just 'cause I can do magic doesn't mean I'm a great choice for entertaining large groups of people, Batman! But I got to share center stage with Robin. Always a plus. M'gann was there too, and Superboy got to try breathing fire. So yeah. We caught them, and now I miss Dad. We were traveling magicians and we didn't even use our power, just pure skill.

November 18th, one week, six days.

Today I stayed locked in my room. I couldn't bring myself to leave it. I listened to sad music. Not even a week and I still feel like there's a huge weight on my chest, making it as hard to breath as a broken rib.

Dad, why did you sacrifice yourself for me? Why did I put the Helmet on? Black Canary says it's not my fault, my dad made his own choice, blah, blah, blah.

Normally, that may be true, but this time it is my fault. Nothing Dinah says makes me feel better.

November 19th, two weeks.

Today I visited Mom's grave. The first time without Dad standing there with me. I left her blue roses. An old family joke. I changed the color (Nrut sesor eulb), because Mom said roses can't be blue. I used to leave white roses in blue colored water. But I cheated this time, because Dad wasn't going to keep putting them in red water, or green water, or hot pink.

The sad thing is, the government doesn't even know Dad's dead. Officially, Giovanni Zatara is still alive. Zatara isn't an active Justice League member anymore, he's listed as "alive, but unavailable".

"Alive but unavailable" pretty much sums it up.

Aw, Zee. Stop being so depressed. You've got to feel the aster. It'll take a while (I still miss my parents), but at least your dad's still alive. –Robin, the "hot" Boy Wonder. ;-D

November 20th, two weeks, one day.

Stupid Bats, and their lack of respect for personal boundaries. I am going to get revenge. You hear me Robin? You've got it coming!

So scared. See you round, Zee. I've a stupid "educational freshman-only field trip" to attend. This'll be so much fun. NOT! - Robin, the "H" BW

November 22nd, two weeks, three days.

I hope Robin's back in time for Thanksgiving. I'm taking advantage of his being gone to do classic pranks like short sheeting his bed, and putting fake coffee stains on his homework. You gotta love the classics. BTW, Robin, it's considered RUDE to read a girl's diary, even if you do already know everything about her, you little stalker/detective. I'm watching you like a hawk, Mister. You here me, a hawk!

November 24th, two weeks five days.

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Yesterday, Robin, Kid Flash, M'gann, and Conner where out on a mission in Bialya. Aqualad was in Atlantis, so Artemis and I decorated the cave. I place an enchanted turkey cutout in Robin's room. It raced around, making turkey noises, and annoying the heck out of everyone. I found it later shredded into tiny pieces on my bed with this note:

Very funny, hahahah. Enjoy cleaning up! ~

The Master of the Aster

November 25th, two weeks, six days. The first Thanksgiving.

I couldn't help it: I broke down crying today. Miss Martian and I were making dinner. I had said the spell Dad used to season the turkey. I quickly began cutting onions, but I fooled no one. Superboy disappeared soon after. I wonder where he went.

When he got back, everyone but the mentors, even Wally and Red Arrow, turned up. Robin brought an amazing stuffing, and Superboy bought chocolate cake. Weird, but who is gonna deny him chocolate on his first Thanksgiving?

No one is. Did you like the stuffing? It took me three tries to get right. I burned the first one, and dropped the second bowl. I think I might've chipped it. Agent A's pretty upset with me. BTW, Red Arrow gave all his turkey to Wolf - Robin, resident Master of the Aster.

November 27th, three weeks, one day.

Wolf stole my diary! I'm still trying to get mutant wolf spit off it, plus he left teeth marks. This was my last birthday present from Dad! I've told Conner that if it ever happens again, I'm going to take Wolf to obedience school, even if I have to turn him into a chihuahua to get him enrolled!

He got the point. I hope.

November 30th, three weeks, four days.

Still a bit damp. The spell worked. Wolf bounced off the sheild on my doorway. I smiled at him. He growled.

Hmm. No note. Maybe Robin's respecting my personal space. I highly doubt it.

I've been practicing magic. My latest spell keeps dogs out of my room. (On seninac ni ym moor.) It was easier than most guarding spells. My energy must be getting stronger. I've been using it a lot more.

Dad was too protective.

Do you need grief counseling? Call this toll free number (AKA Robin's cell), and you'll get all the help you need as soon as possible. If Dr. R. O. Bin can't help you, due to a Team mission, or if he's fighting crime as part of the Dynamic Duo, he'll get back to you as soon as he can.

([Gotham area code]-Rob-isht)

No, that's not my normal number. Batman wouldn't let me give it out. He's paranoid, so I ordered a second phone using an untraceable program. Don't try to trace the number. The phone will self-destruct. It was the only way I could let him allow me to give you my number. Like I said, he's paranoid. – Robin, Master of the Aster, (H)BW, and your new number 1 contact on your cell phone.

P.S. Adjust your magic shield. I think it keeps all animals out. Since I go by Robin, it kept me out too. :( I had to go in through your airvents. Creepy, yes. But I enjoy leaving you notes.

AN: Did you like it? I'll be adding the second chapter soon. Thanks for reading, please review, it makes my day. I'll take suggestions.

BTW, could you sign these petitions to stop Critics United, and change the FF rules?:

www. change petitions/fanfiction -net-stop-the-destruction-of -fanfiction-net

www. change, org/ petitions/the-authors-of-fanfiction-net-stop-critics-united-from-cyber-bullying-our-fellow-authors- 2