Summary: A story about how if you love someone enough, they wil always find a way back in to your heart and life; even if you dont remember them.

kurt got in to a car vrash and when he woke up he didnt remember Blaine. 3 years later they meet again but Kurt dosent realise who the man across the road is.

Word Count: 12,507

Chapter notes: thanks so much for reading. This is a oneshot for now but i dont know if i will continue it yet. I love you all! Enjoy :D

Why was he there? Every morning when I walked out the door, and every evening when I came home from the theatre, he was there, almost waiting for something to happen, as if whatever it was would just come to him. And there was always his guitar; he played it constantly, at the side of the road. But always the same old tune. It seemed...familiar somehow.

His curly black hair would hang over his forehead, just above his triangular eyebrows which shadowed his eyes; it always seemed out of control. His eyes; they were the most intriguing thing about him. He would just sit, across the road from my apartment and play his guitar. He would glance to me when I crossed the street, and his gaze would follow me down the road occasionally. There was a mysterious beauty about him that I didn't understand; I didn't even know him, did I? He should be classed as a creepy man who sat at the side of the road and looked in to my apartment, but he wasn't. There was something about him that was hard to explain.

I often wondered what had happened to this man, to make him sit at the side of the road, in the middle of New York every day, playing his guitar. What was he waiting for? I knew for one that life doesn't just come easy; you have to...fight your way through. But what was wrong? I sometimes felt the urge to just stop and ask who he was, but I never plucked up the courage to do it.

He never spoke, never had I ever seen him speak to anyone before. He just stared, watching people, mesmerised by some, as they went about their lives, leaving him behind. Was he traumatised? Or was he homeless? Or was it a choice?

But I seemed to recognise him, like we had me in another life, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Like I had seen his face before, but where? My memory was so bad these days anyway, after the accident it had all plummeted downhill. Now the things I remembered from my high school years were my family, the New Directions and John. I knew there was something else, something I had forgotten but I could never figure it out. I had been in the car crash on the way back from John's house, I had been told by him, but it never seemed to fit. What was missing? I hadn't felt complete since before the accident. Even with John, my boyfriend by my side I still felt as though a piece of my heart had been wrenched out and never been replaced.

I hadn't remembered John, after the car crash. He had to tell me, everything we did together to refresh my memory. But when I asked dad about him, he never used to know either. Had it been some kind of summer fling I had never told him about? Or was it never real? None of it ever seemed real. It was like a children's tale, which you read so often you physically believed it was true until no one could tell you otherwise. He told me he was the love of my life and that I was his.

When I woke up that morning, I didn't know my life was about to change, that everything was about to be put right again, every bad thing in my life would be okay. Eventually, everything would be as it was before my life changed.

I said goodbye to John with a kiss on the cheek, wincing as I did, as he was still asleep and made my way down the stairs to the door of my apartment. They key slid in the lock better than usual and I opened the door gently, knowing that it would creak loudly if I didn't and I didn't want to risk waking John, not today. I daren't look across the road yet, scared that I would lose the confidence I had somehow gained. I stepped out in to the cold December air and closed the door, locking it quickly behind me.

I closed my eyes and listened. There it was; that same old tune he played every single day of the week. I took a deep breath and turned around. Sure enough, there he was, on that same old stool, in that same old place, with that same old hat and that same old guitar. Exactly where I had seen him every day for the last 3 months.

I slowly walked down the short path and padded down the steps, stepping out on to the pavement, attempting to dodge the people but getting pushed by a man double my size in to the wall behind me, making me huff in annoyance and mumble under my breath.

I glanced over the road and suddenly I felt extremely faint. Why I needed to talk to him I didn't know, but my body was physically pointing me towards him, all the arrows were pointing to him.

He was staring at the ground in front of him, occasionally glancing to his guitar to change his note. His hat was hanging of the back of the mass of curls he wore on his head and his eyes looked sad as he looked around at people, his eyes following them as they continued to walk by, not paying any attention to him. I took a closer look at his clothes and saw that he was well dressed so he couldn't be homeless. So if it wasn't that, then what was it?

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as his eyes met mine. That spark inside me ignited as his eyes bore in to my own, he gave me a small hint of a smile before blushing and looking down. The spark burnt out, no longer there when this man wasn't somehow in contact with me. This was it, this was what I had been building up the confidence to do for months now, and it was all down to these next few minutes.

Well, it had to sometime right?

I glanced down the road, looking to see if there was any traffic in the way and when I saw there wasn't, I stepped out in to the road and made my way across the street, glancing to this stranger that I felt I knew so well.

Maybe if I hadn't slipped, I would have never spoken to this man.

I didn't see that man I walked in to until it was too late and I was falling to the ground, hard. I fell on to my back and everything went black, just like it had before.

And then there were voices, just one, no two, no three, and then countless more. And then one shouting to leave me alone and give me some space, and I was thankful for that voice. His voice was smooth and silky and the words he said just seemed to tumble naturally from his mouth. And then I found myself falling into black, as I had so many times before, in the past, looking in to a pair of honey coloured eyes, lying in a bed, with him next to me. Who was he?

"Kurt, are you okay? Why are you crying sweetheart?" he said, stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb and leaning in to kiss the tears away before planting a chaste one to my lips. Tears ran slowly down my cheeks as I leaned in and pulled him in to a hug, relishing the feeling of his warmth and the comfort he gave me.

"Just thank you, for doing that for me, with me, and it meant so much to me, okay? I will always love you, no matter what happens in the future, if we ever grow apart or if we always stay together, I will always love you. I promise" I whispered in to his hair and I felt his tears on my bare shoulder and the salty liquid run down my back, the warmth soothing me.

"I know, and I will always love you. I will never forget you, and the love you have given me. And I know that we will always be together, and with you there, I will never be alone" he answered, pulling back, his hair brushing my neck.

And then I was being pulled back to reality. No matter how much I wanted to stay in that moment, no matter how much I clung on to the memory, the voices were back and the sunlight was seeping through my eyelids. Did they think I was dead? I needed to show them I wasn't. I slowly cracked open an eyelid to see everyone crowded around me.

There was every single age range possible. A small girl was even sat next to me, praying with all of her might, her small eyes scrunched tight and he hands clasped in front of her and she mumbled a prayer.

There he was, hovering above me, his voice playing over and over again in my ears, the soft melody of his tone dancing in my mind.

"Can you hear me? Please tell me you're okay!" he sounded frantic. Why did he care? He must have never seen me before in his life. The thought of that made my heart break, I didn't understand this. Why was he so important to me? I could just make out his face in the blur. He was crying, why was he crying?

I made a mumbled sound and he breathed a sigh of relief, his breath wafting on to my face and sending a shiver down my spine. The memory had gone again now, but I still remembered, very faintly in the back of my mind, I knew this man. His face seemed so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time.

"Can you sit up for me?" he asked softly and I nodded stiffly, feeling a pain in the back of my skull. He put his arm under my back, my skin tingling at the touch, and helped me to sit up.

It was only now I realised how bad the pain really was. I found myself crying out in pain and my hand flew to the back of my head. He gasped and supported my back as I felt myself falling back down again. His hands felt suddenly familiar on my back, as if they had been there countless times before, but that was impossible. I felt as if though something inside me had clicked.

He helped me up gently; nearly everyone had left now that I had woken up, and helped me on to the chair he had been sitting on. He held a bottle of water out to me, but he seemed very uncomfortable, but I hadn't done anything to offend him, had I? He looked at the floor, only looking up when he had to as I took small sips of the water. He was still knelt in front of me and had occupied himself by putting away his guitar in ahs case and leaning it against the chair.

"Are you okay?" he asked me softly, sympathy filling his eyes and morphing on to his feature. I took a chance to really look at him.

His honey coloured eyes glowed in the early morning sun and the gold flecks seemed to shimmer and dance in the orbs of hazel. I could see two giant, familiar eyebrows sitting above the pair of familiar eyes and I resisted the urge to tangle my fingers in the curls that had broken free from underneath his hat, it just felt natural to do it, but I didn't.

"Yes, thank you so much" I said, screwing the lid back on the bottle and handing it back to him, making my face look as happy as it could in the circumstances. My head was still throbbing and blood was pounding in my ears, but this always happened so I chose to ignore it. A small, but still uncomfortable, smile appeared on his face as he took the bottle back from me and placed it in the duffle bag that sat next to the chair, looking back up at me when he was done.

"It's okay, I'm sure you would have done the same for me" he said, still looking down. Something about this man made me want to know more. What was making him feel so uncomfortable?

"How do you know my name?" he asked me suddenly, his eyes meeting mine and his eyebrows furrowed in the middle. I was taken aback by his question and extremely confused. Why did he think I knew his name? I had only just met him and I hadn't asked what his name was.

"I don't know what you mean. I don't know your name" I answered, a small laugh coming out of my mouth, trying to reassure myself I wasn't being stupid and I hadn't seen him before. But I couldn't help but think I had.

"Oh" he said, almost sadly, looking down at his lap "It's just...when you were unconscious...you said my name" he added. What? I had said his name? But...how? My eyes were wide and I'm sure I hadn't blinked for about a minute after he said that. The cogs in my brain were turning way too much to be comfortable as I looked at this man in front of me. Everything about him reminded me of something.

"Wait, wait, wait...what? I said...your name? But I've never met you before in my life, how would I know your name?" his smile dropped from his face as I said these words to him. Why did he think I knew who he was? I became even more confused when I saw he was on the verge of tears. He got to his feet and picked up his guitar case before turning back to me.

"I'm sorry...I have to go. It was nice meeting you but...I have to go now" the stranger said, turning his back to me and beginning to walk swiftly away. I couldn't let him get away; I had to know what was going on. I got to my feet stumbling a little from the throbbing pain in the back of my head.

"NO! Wait please!" I shouted down the road after him, ignoring the pain it caused my head. He stopped for a moment before shaking his head and continuing to walk in the opposite.

I had to know. I had to know why I knew his name. I had to find out.

15th March 2013

"Kurt, where are you taking me?" he said in between laughter behind me, where I was pulling him along by his hand. We were currently walking along a path in the woods. It was four o'clock in the evening and even though the sun was setting I was dragging him up to the highest hill in Lima Ohio.

"You'll find out soon enough" I sang as I continued to tow him up the hill.

When we neared the top I stopped, him stopping behind me, I turned to him and smiled mischievously, reaching in to my back pocket and pulling out a black blindfold, waving it in front of him and he laughed, raising one eyebrow.

"Really Kurt, you're gonna make me wear that?" he shook his head and I nodded, making a 'come hither' movement with my index finger. He shrugged and moved closer to me, allowing me to slip the fabric over is eyes, patting his gel helmet afterwards, admiring my skills to get it on without messing up his hair. He laughed and put his hands out in front of him, both of them landing on my chest and moving closer to me. He began to kiss my neck and I sighed. I was brought back to reality by an abrupt sound to my left, and gently pushed him off, knowing there was time for that later. I laughed at his pout as he was forced to stop kissing me. I couldn't help but lean in an press a kiss to his lips, long enough for him to try and deepen it, but I pulled away too early, making him grumble. I leant close to his ear and whispered gently.

"There's plenty of time for that later honey" I pressed a kiss to his cheek before pulling back. He mumbled something along the lines of 'tease', making me giggle as I linked my fingers with his and placed one hand on the small of his back, leading his further up the hill.

It was our two year anniversary the next day and I was determined that I would do everything I possibly could to make this a day I would never forget, not knowing then that I one day, would forget.

"Kurt, where are we?" he whined, making me laugh. Even though he was in full pout mode, I could see the smile in his soul. I always wanted us to be this way; happy, in love, and the best friends a person could ask for. But we were more than that. He was my everything, I lived for him, just knowing that I would see his smiling face just a few hours later every time made everything alright and made it all manageable. I knew he felt the same way too. The amounts of times he told me he loved me are endless. You could fill a million books with how many times.

"We are here now!" I sang again, making him chuckle adorably. I stopped and walked around so I was in front of him. He looked so adorable, I just had to laugh.

I leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose before kissing his lips and raising my hands up to the blindfold. I slid my fingers under the material and revealed his honey orbs again, his pupils dilating and adjusting to the brightness after being in the dark for 10 minutes.

"Surprise" I whispered on to his lips before pressing a kiss there and nuzzling their noses together. I took a step back and revealed my surprise, walking behind Blaine and wrapping my arms around his waist as kissing the back of his neck.

Out in front of us laid a chequered blanket under an oak tree. Between the branches of the tree were candle lanterns, decorating the tree and lighting up the space below.

On the blanket lay assortments of finger food, fruit and all other types of food, most of them unknown to him. I heard him gasp in my arms and I squeezed him tightly, kissing just where his curls broke free from their gel prison.

He turned around in my arms and wound his around my neck before kissing me fiercely on the lips. He deepened the kiss, just loving the way his arms felt around my body and loving the way his lips felt on mine. If there was just one memory I wanted to keep, that was it.

"Thank you...I don't know what to say Kurt! This is beautiful, you are beautiful. Just...thank you" he whispered, resting our foreheads together gently. I could see tears welling up in his eyes that had fluttered closed. This boy I knew so well, I even knew when he was about to cry. So I kissed his eyelids gently and whispered on to his eye:

"I love you"

I shot up in bed, in a cold sweat and shaking rapidly. John was still fast asleep beside me and I just cried. I don't know why I cried, but the tears just wouldn't stop coming.

I suddenly felt ill. I picked myself of the bed and ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, only noticing I didn't have any clothes on until I was kneeled in front of the toilet emptying my stomach. The thought of that made me throw up even more. What was I doing with myself? Hadn't dad told me that it matters? That it does something to you? He had even told Blaine tha-

Wait! What was that name? The name vanished from my mind as quickly as it came, leaving me wide eyed and clueless on the bathroom floor. Why had dad told him that? Why couldn't I remember that damn name! Urgh! What was wrong with me?

I let my guard down as I cried and just let the tears fall down my cheeks, breaking me more with everyone that came. Something wasn't right here, John wasn't who he was and I wasn't who I used to be.

That man had been on my mind since yesterday, the guitar man I called him. He wouldn't go away. Why would I have even known his name? I was certain I had never seen his before in my life, but I couldn't help but think he was important; maybe not to anyone else, but to me.

I had to see his again, find out who he was, how I might have met him. Maybe he had the same name as John or dad or something and it was just a coincidence that I said his name, but my mind doubted that theory, my heart knowing there was a deeper feeling.

Those dreams kept on coming too, and they weren't helping. It also didn't help that when I desperately tried to remember them when I woke up, I found I just couldn't. I knew they were only dreams, but they seemed special to me, like they were something that I should hold on to. I shook the thought from my head as I continued to weep.

I felt so dirty as I hauled myself to my feet and looked in the full length mirror. My pale skin was covered from top to bottom in purpling bruises of all shapes. Why did he have to do that? To show he was mine? Blaine would never ha-

There it was again! That name! What did it mean? I closed my eyes and rubbed my throbbing temples with my fingers, desperately trying to remember, but failing and making me cry harder. You would have thought that eyes would eventually run dry and you wouldn't be able to cry anymore, but not me. I could cry for hours on end and all I was rewarded with was a monster headache at the end of it all.

I forced myself to walk back in to our shared bedroom. John had somehow managed to get over the covers and become spread eagled on the bed. The sight of him like that made me feel even queasier. This had to be sorted out; I was fed up of living my life this way. I didn't recognise myself anymore.

What had happened to the happy, bouncy, enthusiastic Kurt everyone told me about from high school? What happened to the Kurt that poured every inch of his soul in to something he was passionate about, not caring what others thought of him? He didn't like this Kurt he had been replaced with. Not the Kurt that just didn't care about life anymore; the Kurt that didn't care who he slept with, as long as he was being loved; the Kurt that most of the time wanted it all to end; the Kurt who had lost his lover.

I decided to go to the living room for a while and sleep on the sofa, even if it meant questions in the morning, let them come. I padded softly across the deep, oak floors, dragging my feet with me, not having any energy left and plonked myself down on the sofa.

I looked around the room and the bookshelf caught my eye; the one I had brought with me from home and that sad had told me he had made himself, forgetting that I was six when he bought it and was in fact there at the time. I laughed at the memory and walked over to it, sticking one hip out and looking down the shelves, looking for something interesting.

Then it caught my attention. A small, scruffy book on the top shelf; the scrap book dad had made me to try and help me remember. I had been through it countless times, laughing at the non-existent memories before, forcing a smile to be polite, but now, I really wanted to look through it properly, and surely there was something I had missed. There just had to be.

I stroked my finger down the leather on the spine, taking in the smell of the material, whilst walking over to the couch and perching delicately on the edge, placing the book on the coffee table, lifting the front cover and looking at the first photograph there was. A picture of me, my father, Carole and Finn gathered around the Christmas tree, Finn avidly handing out presents as I smiled the brightest smile I had in years. There was a hand next to me that was stroking my cheek, but it wasn't John's; it was way too tanned. I knew John and he wouldn't be tanned if you sprayed him with the fake kind. No, this was someone else. But who was it?

I shook my head, I was just being silly surely, and who else would it be? I turned the page and laughed at what I saw next.

It was the 2009 glee club picture. I smiled at the memory, letting it warm my heart and reassure me that I was okay. I turned the page again and was met with an empty page. That was weird; the photo corners were still there and the text underneath read:

'You and your beloved boyfriend having yet another lazy day on MY couch! I wanted to watch the Buckeyes that day, but I didn't want to disturb your slumbers. He told me he loves you, always'

I smiled at the text. He had loved me, that wasn't John. And I remembered that man wasn't John, in the picture, the one that had been removed. I couldn't picture his face, but I knew it was familiar. And John wasn't that open in the way he felt, especially not with my dad; I couldn't even recall the last time he had told me he loved me. I was so confused I let it pass by me, my tiredness rapidly taking over.

I turned to the next page to see a picture in picture corners of me and Rachel Berry, the day in the audience at the New Directions that she had insisted go into the scrapbook. Below the caption read:

'Remember this? This was the best day of our high school lives when we won Nationals! We won Nationals can you believe it? He misses you Kurt, he won't admit it but he does. Please, find him again? He is in your heart somewhere, you just have to look- Love Rachel x

What the hell? He missed me? But he was here with me right? What was she saying, there was someone else? I shook my head and laughed at my stupidity, I must have been more tired that I had first thought.

I turned to the last page which held the most beloved photo of all.

It depicted my dad, Burt, me and my mother, Elizabeth. This was one of the only pictures I had left of her and it was one of my prize possessions.

She had long, wavy, golden locks that I had inherited from her and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. If you looked close enough, you could see tears in her eyes. I wasn't certain why, but I could see she was close to tears. A giant, beautiful smile graced her features, showing her perfect teeth underneath. Her cheeks were flushed and she was laughing hysterically about something, which must have been why she had tears in her eyes, I concluded. She was truly stunning. Her hair draped elegantly over her hunched shoulders as her arms reached out and tickled a 7 year old version of myself whilst my father sat and watched us with a fond smile.

The worst thing was; I couldn't remember her. I desperately wanted to remember, but my brain just wouldn't allow it. I couldn't recall how many different psychiatrists I had to visit, just to be told the same old thing; there will be something or someone who will restore the memories, you just have to be patient. But hadn't I been patient enough? It had been 3 years now.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I slammed the book shut, shaking my head as I did so. I needed to remember. It was enough to make me cry endlessly for hours.

I lay down on the sofa, drowsiness filling my senses and just looked at the clock. It was now just half past 12 and I was so tired that I should be able to just fall asleep, but I couldn't, something just wouldn't go away and let me sleep.

It was that man, the stranger. No, he wasn't a stranger, I had said his name. I couldn't stop thinking about those eyes. Hazel and honey that were so captivating that I just wanted to sit and look in to his eyes all day long.

I would go and see him today, but I needed sleep first.

I closed my eyes and drifted off in to an uneasy sleep.

20th November 2012

"Kurt, it's my turn to pay, really, you paid last time sweetheart" he said from across the table, reaching in to his pocket and pulling out the leather wallet I had bought him for his last birthday where he had turned 18. I had returned from New York for the weekend to visit my boyfriend, the distance slowly becoming too much for us. But we had agreed that Blaine would join me in New York when he graduated as we both believed that we were meant to be together.

"No, I'm paying, my treat" I concluded, trying to end this conversation. It made me feel like I was showing my love for him when I treated him like this, after being apart from the man I loved for 3 months, it was the least I could do to make him feel special. But he didn't drop it that easily, as he always did, the way he tried to argue with me made me love him even more.

"But Kuurt!" he whined, making me chuckle as I slid my credit card in to the reader, sticking my tongue out at him to show I had won that one! He pouted adorably and I reached over the table to tap him on the nose. He moved his face so that he kissed my fingertip, making me blush.

The waitress scoffed disapprovingly before stalking off moodily, smiling stiffly and I just ignored her, but Blaine looked down, obviously embarrassed that he did that in front of a homophobe. But he shouldn't have to, it was our lives, we could live how we wanted. I put my arm on the table, taking his hand between both of mine and squeezing it. I brought our joined hands to my lips and kissed them lightly, making him look up and meet my eyes, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"I don't care what she thinks honey, she can't touch us" I reassured, squeezing our hands. A giant smile tugged at his lips and you could almost see the hearts in his honey eyes.

"I love you"

My eyes shot open and immediately burning from the sunlight seeping in through the curtains, dilating my pupils and making me shield my face automatically. I hauled myself to my feet, the pain in the back of my head coming back when I sat up to fast, making me feel dizzy. Why did my dreams always end like that? Just that unknown voice saying 'I love you'; that was all I could ever remember from my dreams, just that last sentence.

I dragged my feet along the floor towards the bedroom, seeing John still in the same position as last night and having to turn away. I felt some kind of resentment towards him for some reason I didn't understand. I lifted the throw from the bottom of the messy bed and draped it over his naked from, embarrassed at the sight I saw.

I collected my work clothes from my bottom draw and made my way towards the shower room. I dumped my clothes on the chair in the corner and stripped off the clothes I had put on last night, making me shiver at the memory. I put the clothes in the hamper before locking the door (I couldn't bear the thought of John sneaking in and trying to join me like he had done before, and he always asked me why I refused) and turning on the shower. When it was the right temperature, I stepped under the spray, letting it sooth my back and run down my thin legs, washing away all fingertip prints and unwanted kisses John had left on my skin.

My mind wondered back to last night; well the last part anyway, I was deeply ashamed of the first. What had those captions meant? And that unknown hand in that first photograph? Who was that man? And I had been looking up at him, complete adoration on my face, an expression I hadn't worn in at least 3 whole years. I needed to find out who he was, and how I knew him. He can't have been my boyfriend, but who else would stoke my cheek and who else would I give heart eyes at?

I stepped out of the shower 20 minutes later, slipping a towel around my waist and drying my hair with a smaller one. I walked over to the frosted glass window and opened it a slit to let the air out. There! He was there again! This was my chance to find out for certain who this man was. He seemed so sad today, his shoulders hunched and his eyes always looking at the floor when they were usually observing everything that was going on.

A sympathetic look appeared on my face before I could stop it and a stray tear fell down my cheek from seeing him that way. I wiped it away before it reached my lips and turned my back to the window, occupying myself by getting dressed quickly and brushing my teeth. I spat in the sink before wiping my mouth on the towel next to the sink. I lifted my head and looked in the mirror. Who was I? This wasn't the Kurt Hummel in the photos. This Kurt Hummel was barely alive, just scraping through the days with the thought that something would get better eventually. But I was rapidly losing hope that it wouldn't, that things would just stay the same, and I would go through life with no memories of my former self or my former life. I felt my heart break in my chest at that though. See! The young Kurt Hummel would never have thought this way. I shook my head at my reflection, determined that somehow, I would become the man I used to be, that jolly, happy young man that wouldn't let anyone touch his feelings, no matter what they said, and I had this strange urge that the man across the road had something to do with how I would change.

I didn't kiss John on the cheek this morning, still disgusted with myself for last night's actions that I couldn't even look at him as I gathered what I needed for work and headed towards the door.

I let out a breath I didn't even realise I was holding as I stepped out of the building, closing the door less quietly than yesterday, cringing as it made the house echo, and was glad that I didn't have to be there when he woke up, knowing how he was in the mornings far too well.

I took a deep breath like I had the morning before, turning around and seeing him again, still on that bench, his guitar case laid out in front of him, just a few dollars landing in every so often. That same tune played in my ears and danced in my mind and I made my way to the gate that separated my home from the outside world.

The gate creaked loudly as I opened it but was covered up by the bustle of New York in the mornings. His head looked up as I walked down the three stone steps and on to the pavement. His eyes met mine and that spark was there again, what was it about this man, this man I had never met before, that seemed to make me want to know more?

My confidence grew with every step as I crossed the street and made my way towards this man, keeping eye contact the whole time, feeling as though if I broke it, I would lose him from sight forever.

He stopped playing as I stopped awkwardly in front of him; his gaze slowly travelling from the floor, up my body, until it met my eyes, looking at me from underneath his lashes.

"I need to know who you are" I said, almost whispered. It was best to get straight to the point. He just blinked at me, his face expressionless. "I need to know why I said your name, and I need to know who you are" I added, blushing and feeling insecure under his gaze, like he broke down all my walls with one glance.

"Why? Why do you care who I am? For all you know, I could just be a serial killer or a stranger that wants nothing to do with the world. So why do you want to know?" he asked me, collecting the money from his case before placing his guitar in there and clipping it shut. A message on the back of it caught my eye, but I chose to ignore it completely.

"Because I know you; I don't know how and I don't know when but I have met you before. Please, just tell me who you are" I begged as he clipped his case closed and stood up next to me. He was slightly shorter than me, but his unruly ringlets reaching the same height and me.

"Fine, follow me" he said, giving in, but I could see that familiar smile on his lips that I had missed from my life for so long as I walked behind him. I didn't know where he was taking me. What was I doing? He basically just told me he was a serial killer and I was following him? He could be anyone! He could be a creepy stalker who has been watching my every move just waiting for this moment.

But something about him made me trust him completely and gave me butterflies in my stomach.

I continued to follow him along the pavement until we reached Central Park. Why had he brought me here? What significance did this have to him? I hadn't dared go in there since the accident, scared that it would spark unwanted memories of some kind.

"Why are we here?" I asked shyly as he continued to stare in to the park, just looking at the people having picnics or rushing about along the paths frantically or children playing in the leaves.

"I need you to see something" he said before taking my hand and leading me in to the park. My hand tingled at the touch. The memory hit me like a tidal wave as it coursed through my mind.

12th February 2011

I made my way down the Dalton Academy staircase, peering out from under my sunglasses, hoping no one would notice me and my makeshift uniform. Damn you Noah, I can't believe he talked me in to this! What was I doing? I could get caught!

I looked down and saw everyone rushing around me and looked around for someone to ask. I tapped the first shoulder I reached and the boy turned around.

Everything went in slow motion; I could have sworn it did.

Warm, honey coloured eyes met mine and I gasped at the closeness I felt to this boy. It was indescribable, the feeling I felt. I stammered over my words as a blush covered my cheeks.

"Excuse me" I started "Could you help me...I-I'm new here" I finished lamely. Couldn't I have done better than that? He must have thought it was okay because a giant smile spread across his face, making his triangular eyebrows raise and his gelled hairline move up half an inch. He stuck his hand out towards me and said:

"I'm Blaine"

That was it! That name!

I was forced back to reality by someone shaking my shoulders and waving a hand in front of my eyes. My head snapped and my eyes blinked, sore after being open for so long without closing.

"Are you okay?" the man asked me softly, both of his hands on my shoulders. Why did it feel natural to just lean in and kiss him? I was so confused as to who he was that I bypassed the question and nodded stiffly, the back of my head hurting again. Why did I keep having those daydreams? They weren't helping me at all! And they didn't mean anything surely.

"Okay, well you just zoned out a bit there" he said, making a weird gesture with his hands and setting his guitar down on a bench.

That was when I realised where we were.

We were sat on our bench, near out pond, underneath our tree. John's and mine; no, not John's, it wasn't John. I sat down on the bench, overwhelmed by all the emotions. I burst in to tears unexpectedly putting my head in my hands, not being able to hold them in any longer.

I felt a familiar hand rubbing my back soothingly just like Blaine used to do-

There it was again! But it was hopeless; the fact that I couldn't remember it only made me more upset. He continued to stroke my back soothingly as I curled up in a ball on the bench, bringing my knees tightly to my chest, as if somehow being smaller would keep everything bad away.

"What's wrong? Do you want me to go? I'll just..." he made to get up but I grabbed his wrist, just shaking my head.

"Kurt, you're ups..." he interrupted himself and I gasped. He had said Kurt! That was my name! How did he know my name too? He tried to pull away but I kept y grip on his wrist.

"Please, just tell me who you are! Please" I begged, feeling pathetic but I could see his heart breaking as I said these words. He looked at me like I had never been looked at before; I felt adored under his gaze. He sighed and gave in, sitting himself on the grass next to me and gesturing for me to do the same. I didn't even think about if I might ruin my clothes, I just did it.

I crossed my legs like he had done and he began to speak to me.

"I will tell you who I am..." I smiled slightly "But you have to believe what I say okay?" I nodded robotically and my eyes widened, urging him to continue.

"Right; where to start" he let out a breathy laugh which ended faster that it had started. My face stayed expressionless as I listened to what he was about to say, the fear of getting sacked if I was late in the back of my mind; all I wanted was to know who he was.

"I know your name because...I know who you are" he started and I nodded "You are Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. You went to William McKinley High School and you did show choir. You were in the New Directions and your rival was Rachel Berry. You were bullied so you transferred to Dalton Academy where you fell in love...with a boy" my eyes were so wide I was sure they would pop out of their sockets if they went any wider. I nodded disbelievingly and he carried on.

"You fell in love with him after the death of your canary bird, Pavarotti, and you sang Blackbird in his memory. That boy fell in love watching you sing that song and he met you in the senior commons. He expressed how he felt about you and he leaned over and kissed you" how did he know this! This was my whole life, how could he have known when I had no idea how I had lived, and why was he telling me now? But I nodded, getting addicted to his voice and wanting to know more about my forgotten life. It was all coming back to me, little bits at a time.

"You transferred back to McKinley because you missed your friends so much and the next year, he followed you there. He told you he loved you for the first time when you came back from nationals in New York and you said it back to him. You had your first time on the 16th of November 2011 with him and it was the best night of his life. He told you he loved you again that night and when you moved to New York and went to NYADA you had a long distance relationship because you love each other so much" tears were pouring down his cheeks now as he told me this, why was he crying? And who was he talking about? Was this just things John had never told me about the two of us?

"But then...when you came to visit him" he sniffed and wiped his eyes "You got in to an accident. You were on your way back...to his house when it happened. You woke up in the hospital in room 395 on the top floor on the second corridor. Your doctor was Doctor Johnson and he was there with you. But when you woke up...you didn't recognise him, you had...you h-had f-forgotten him c-completely" he stammered, sobs racking his body and pulling his knees to his chest as I had done earlier. My heart broke for this boy in front of me, crying openly with a complete stranger. He sniffed and composed himself before talking again, not making eye contact with me again, but looking in to space at the grassy floor in front of him.

"S-so he left, because he thought it was best for you...without him there. He thought that if you could forget about him...then maybe you didn't l-love him any longer. But it was the stupidest thing he did in his whole life; letting you go is his one, true regret" he finished, looking back in to my eyes, his still glistening with the tears he had spilt and the trails of wetness staining his cheek.

I was speechless. Was he one of John's friends? I felt my stomach twist and turn as my mind started to put the pieces together, one by one. My mouth hung open and I stammered over my words.

"H-how did you know all that?" I asked him, disbelieving what he had just told me. How could someone possibly know that much about my past? Who was he?

"Kurt...there is no other way to say this...I don't know how to tell you this..." he said, I cocked my eyebrows, urging him to continue with a nod of my head. He took a deep breath and I let out the one I was holding in.

"I am him"

My world froze. What was he saying? He was the love of my high school years? That John was a fake? Who did he think he was! Did he really think I was going to go for him that easily? I knew I had lost my memory, but I wasn't stupid!

"I am the one you met when you went to Dalton that day, and I am the one you fell in love with" he tried to reason with me as I shook my head frantically and closed my eyes and stood up, ready to run as fast as I could away from this man.

"You're lying..." I whispered as I backed away slowly. He stood up quickly and reached for my hand but I snatched it from his reach. How could he?

"I'm not lying Kurt...you have to believe me..."

"NO! How dare you do this? Did you think I was stupid enough to believe your stupid cover story? Who are you really? Some creepy man or a stalker maybe?" I accused, getting angrier and angrier by the second. I ignored the way my heart clenched as I talked to him this way; I ignored the way my stomach turned when I saw he was crying again.

"Kurt, really, you must believe me, I'm telling the truth!" he sobbed, tears streaming freely down his cheeks now; I just shook my head and turned to walk away. But then I heard those words, those words I hadn't heard in 5 years, but the ones that stuck so clearly in my mind.

"I've been looking for you forever" he said behind me and I froze, glued to the spot. How did he know what the boy had said to me the day he told me he loved me? The happiest day of my entire life; the day I found my soul mate.

"I love you Kurt, please..." I just shook my head and ran. I saw him in the corner of my eye, his knees giving way and collapsing in to a praying position, crying harder than I had ever seen anyone cry before.

I didn't know where I was running exactly but I vaguely made out the scenery of the route back to my apartment.

I opened the door quickly, tears still streaming down my face as I ran up the stairs to my apartment two at a time. I threw myself through the door and leant against the wood, sliding down so I was sitting on the floor. I could still hear snoring coming from the bedroom and new John was still asleep. I cried even more at the thought of not being able to collapse in John's arms, they weren't ideal, but they were better than no ones.

I made my way over to the couch where the scrapbook was still sat on the table. I picked it up; anger soaring through me like fire, and threw it at the opposite wall. My head fell in to my hands as I tears streamed down my cheeks, the salty liquid bitter on my tongue.

And then something caught my eye. A piece of writing paper, folded in half on the wooden floor.

I somehow found the strength to pull myself to my feet and walk over to this piece of paper lying on the ground; picking it up delicately and walking back to the couch.

I unfolded the piece of paper and the first thing that caught my eye was the back of a photograph. I was about to turn it over and reveal what it depicted when I saw a familiar loopy handwriting on the back that said:

'Kurt, read the note before you see the photograph; it will make more sense to you'

Despite my confusion, I placed the photo; still faced down; on the seat next to me, and then turned to the letter.

My dearest Kurt,

First of all, I hope that when you read this; if you ever read this; you will find some way to ever forgive me. I am so sorry for what I did and I hope that somehow, in that big heart of yours I know so well you will be able to see over what I did and see it was the best thing to do.

When you read this, you won't know who I am, you have forgotten me and everything we did together and I believe that is the best way for it to be. I am just holding you back, Kurt, and no matter how much I love you and it hurts me to tell you this, I have to let you go. It is the best thing to do.

Don't bother asking your father about me, because I persuaded him to keep me a secret from you. I just want you to know that I will always love you, and I will think about you every single day of my life, no matter what.

If we are meant to be together, then the universe will find some way to bring us back in to each other's arms. I will wait for that day and when it comes, I really hope we can put the past behind us and move on.

I know you don't remember all of the times we had together and all of the memories we created with each other but I do, and I will cherish them until the day I die. You will probably never understand what is going through my mind as I am writing this at your hospital bedside, hoping and praying that your memory loss will only be short term, and you will wake up, and look in my eyes and the memories will come back to you; but I know that is unrealistic.

I just really hope you live a long and happy life, with someone that loves you; because I will always love you, and one day, I know we will meet again, even if it isn't in this life, I know we will, because we are meant to be together, Kurt.

I love you with all my heart, and that is the way it will stay forever. No matter who I may meet in the future, you will always have my heart; my one and only heart.

All my love,

Blaine Anderson

xxx

I was frozen in the chair. It was him; Blaine Anderson. The name hit me like a punch in the stomach, knocking every atom of air out of my lungs. He was there, today and I had run from him; hat must have killed him.

John was a liar, how could he do that to me? How could he think I would be so stupid as to really think it was all real? There was always something dodgy about him that I didn't understand. He was just scared if me finding out. The tears just wouldn't stop as I repeated the name again and again. That piece of my heart that had been missing was slowly coming back, every word of the letter acting like thread, sewing it back, bit by bit.

My body turned towards the photograph lying next to me on the sofa and turned it over. The sight made me sob and my hand flew to my mouth.

It was me and him, and I was fast asleep in his arms. He had his eyes closed but he was pressing a soft kiss to my hair, making the corners of my mouth twitch up. I must have been about 17 in that picture and the memory over took me.

15th July 2012

"Blainey, I'm sleepy" I mumbled in to his chest, soaking up the warmth it provided. He laughed at my tiredness and leant down to press a chaste kiss to my lips. I smiled and let him kiss me, wanting to kiss him back, but not quite having the energy.

"Go to sleep sweetheart, I'll be here when you wake up, I promise" he said, over the sound of tangled playing in the background; which he had named our movie for some reason I could remember at that moment. I sighed and nodded in to his chest, pressing a lazy kiss there before wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him impossibly closer to my body.

"Goodnight honey; I love you" he whispered in to my ear before planting a kiss to my hair. I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face and love in my heart. And it was the way I always wanted it to be.

"Kurt, baby, what are you doing?" John mumbled sleepily from behind me, rubbing his eyes lazily. I got to my feet and kicked him where I knew it hurt. He doubled over in pain and fell to the floor. I almost felt sorry for him, but then I remembered what he had done to me, and it only made me want to hurt him more than I already had done.

"How DARE you!" I screamed as loud as I could, my voice surely being audible outside and on the street below, but I didn't care in the slightest, all I cared about was showing this man crumpled on the floor that I hated him and that he was a liar.

"You liar! How could you do that to me hey? Do you think I am some kind of fool? Did you think it would all be okay, and that I wouldn't find out eventually? Do I look thick to you or something; or is it you who's the thick on hmm?" I asked, flailing my arms about as my eyes seeped with tears of anger and sadness that I had trusted this man with my heart, and he had torn it too shreds in his hands!

"Kurt...you don't mean that...you love me" he said, finding the strength to stand up, but still leaning against the wall for support. I scoffed at this statement. Love him; how could anyone love such a liar and a cheat?

"No, I don't. And I never have, I just didn't realise it until now. I let you fill my head with fake memories and lies for so long that I genuinely believed it was real; but this whole time, you have done nothing but lie to me, and use me like I was your to keep. I still love him John, nothing has changed. There had always been a piece of me missing ever since the accident, and I thought it was just the memories that I couldn't remember holding me back, but it was you all along! I can't believe someone would take advantage of me like that John, when you knew I was at my most vulnerable. You took away my life and replaced it with lies, and I can never, ever forgive you for that" I finished, tears pouring on to the floor and the pain in my head coming back.

"Kurt..."

"No I don't want to hear it John! Just get out; I don't ever want to see you again. Just get out of my apartment! This isn't your home anymore" I shouted, pointing towards the door. He just blinked at me blankly before walking towards the bedroom and packing his things.

Those next five minutes were the longest of my entire life. All I wanted was for him to leave my life forever so I didn't have to deal with him anymore.

I had to find out where Blaine was; I needed to see him again, tell him that I still loved him. I felt giddy at the thought, feeling like a teenager again for the first time in years.

I dialled dad's mobile and waited for the tone to stop and the sound of his voice filling my left ear.

"Hello? Burt Hummel speaking" he said loudly, making me smile fondly at dads antics; he never did quite understand mobile phones.

"Dad...I saw Blaine today" I said. There was silence on the other end. I waited for 30 seconds, just hearing the sound of his sharp intakes of breath filling the air.

"And he told me who he was...and he told me he still loves me. And then I thought he was lying so I ran and then I got home and found a letter from him and the photograph of the two of us and it jogged my memory and I know who he is but I don't know where he is now and I need to see him and I need to tell him that I still love him" I said all in one breath, watching John walk out the door, but not really caring; although the tiniest part of me broke for him, you can learn to love someone after 3 years of being with them, but when you find out that he had been lying to you the whole time, it ruins it completely. He took one last look at me before slamming the door shut behind him.

I was free.

"Slow down kiddo; what do you mean Kurt? How do you know who he is?" dad asked gently, almost not believing what I had told him. I sighed and laughed lightly at this man.

"I saw him today and he told me he loves me. I still love him too and I need to tell him that before it is too late. Do you know where he is?" I asked franticly. I don't know why dad might know, but I know he had always adored Blaine; he had seen him as his own son and Blaine had always kept his phone number; just encase.

"Kurt I know where he is" my heart soared at his words "But I don't know if it is best for you to know. What if he has changed?"

"Dad, I know Blaine. I need to see him; just tell me where he is, please?" I begged, trying to get my desperation down the phone line.

"He's here" dad answered. I hung up the phone and ran around my apartment, grabbing items that might be needed; my wallet, my keys, a coat, the letter and the photograph that I had re-read 2 times already.

I don't think I have ever run so fast to my car, so desperate to see the love of my life again, I just couldn't hold in my energy any longer. I sprinted towards the path, forgetting to lock the door but not giving a damn; all that mattered now was Blaine Anderson and the fact that I loved him.

I shoved the key in the ignition and turned it sharply, making the engine roar to life more enthusiastically than it did before; it must have sensed the urgency of the situation; and put my foot down on the accelerator, obviously breaking the speed limit, but not caring at all. I turned on the radio and put it to full volume. The song sending me back to my high school years and making my cry and laugh at the same time.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly"

"You move me, Kurt. And doing this duet would just be an excuse to...spend m-more time with you"

"All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night"

"I love you"

"Take these sunken eyes and learn to see,

All your life"

"Sebastian means nothing to me; and you were right. Our first time shouldn't be like that...I was drunk and... I'm sorry"

"You were only waiting for this moment to be free,

Blackbird, fly"

"And I'm just pissed off that for the next year; I'm going to have to learn what it's like to be alone"

"Blackbird, fly"

"I love you so much"

"In to the light of the dark black night"

The memories flooded my head and rebuilt by soul, completing my, inch by inch, making me feel alive again. The way you feel when you wake from a dream and have trouble realising it wasn't reality all along; or when your mother told you that the tooth fairy wasn't real, and you only didn't believe her because you wanted your childhood to last for longer than it had, you wanted something to hold on to, so you could convince yourself you were still young.

Blaine had been my lost childhood; the thing I had needed to hold on to convince myself I was still alive; and I had forgotten him.

Guilt overwhelmed me as I realised how he must have felt. How could I have been so selfish this morning; no, my whole life? Okay, so I lost my memory; but Blaine, he had lost the love of his life. I know I had too, but I hadn't known, and I didn't have to deal with the pain of losing the one you loved.

The sound of my heartbeat filled my ears as I was pulling up in to the driveway of my parent's house. All I had to do was step out of the car, walk in there, and tell him how I felt. But life was never that simple right? I mean, there must be something that would go wrong with this whole thing; there just had to be.

Never the less, I opened the door to my car and stepped out on to the pavement that ran along outside the house, my legs shaking as I did so.

Everything came down to this moment. But what would I do? I can't just go in there, tell him I love him and fall in to his outstretched arms and everything would be fixed. I had no idea what was going to do, but in that moment, I hadn't cared less about anything in the world. This was my chance, and I would be a fool to turn it away now.

The world passed by in slow motion as I ran up the path and towards the blue door, the paint cracking with age. My hand found the doorknob, the same one that had been there for 18 years and turned it, opening the door with a loud noise. Dad was sat on the steps, waiting for me with his head on his chin, smiling at me as I came through the door, making the house echo, and for once, I didn't have to fear it.

"Hey kiddo" he said getting to his feet and pulling me in to a bear hug "He doesn't know you're coming, he's in the back yard" he whispered in to my ear. I nodded and let my tears fall on to his shoulder. I laughed in to his shirt and just nodded repeatedly.

"Thank you dad...so much...for everything" I said as I pulled back shakily, wiping my eyes. He just smiled and nodded, mouthing a 'go get em', making me giggle nervously.

I sprinted to the back door, and what I saw made my heart clench in my chest and burst with happiness.

There he was; like he had always been. I just had been too blind to see him before now.

He was sat in out spot, on out bench, in our back yard; the way he always had in my dreams. But this wasn't a dream, or a memory, or a flashback; this was my reality.

Countless times I had imagined this second, I had replayed it in my mind until it had hurt with the image of this perfect man; but there he was. I could reach out and touch him; he was really there.

He had his back to be as he played his guitar, staring up at the sun. His curls were free and his t-shirt was hanging off one shoulder. His posture was hunched; he wasn't the Blaine I remembered from the flashbacks. He was just a shell of that Blaine; and I had put him that way.

He didn't hear me as I opened the patio door.

He didn't hear me as I walked across the green grass; getting ever closer to him.

It was like being drawn to a magnet, even if I wanted to, I couldn't let go now; I couldn't risk losing him again.

The reason he knew I was there was when I began to sing along to the song he was playing; the words rolling off my tongue.

I had recognised it immediately. It was the song he had played on the street every day for 3 months; it was my song.

"And I just want you to know that I love you,

I will never let you go,

We will meet again someday,

And I will tell you, just so you know"

I sang the words shakily, my voice breaking as I continued the song I had heard countless times. He froze in his position; but kept on strumming. He didn't turn around though, so I began to move my way around to the front of the bench; tears flowing.

"All of those memories you can't recall,

All of those times, I've told you them all,

But still I'm not there, anymore,

And I never will be, so you must move on"

I didn't know how I knew the words, but they felt like second nature to me as I sang here with this man. His eyes still didn't meet mine, but he carried on playing his guitar, just covering up the note on the left side of it that had been written on in a pink sharpie.

""And I just want you to know that I love you,

I will never let you go,

We will meet again someday,

And I will tell you, just so you know"

His hazel eyes brimmed with tears and his eyelids fluttered shut, his ebony eyelashes fanning out on his cheek, blending in with his tanned skin. I placed my hand on his cheek and his eyes opened, staring in to my own.

"I know that you don't remember my face,

Or the way I used to look at you, hmm,

But you will remember someday,

And I'll be waiting at your door"

The tiniest, faintest smile appeared on his lips as I sang my song back to him. His tears spilt down his cheeks as I continued to sing, him leaning in to the touch I had on his cheek.

"And I just want you to know that I love you,

I will never let you go,

We will meet again someday,

And I will tell you, just so you know,

That I love you, hmm

That I love you"

He strummed the last note on his guitar and sighed, his breath ghosting my hand and filling me with warmth. What was I supposed to say now? I just improvised, that was all I could do.

"Blaine Anderson, I am so sorry" I said, wiping a tear from his cheek with soft pad of my thumb, making him sigh contently "I am sorry first of all, for forgetting you; but I want you to know that you were always here" I placed my hand over my heart and he choked out a sob, letting more tears dampen his cheeks "and you have been in my dreams every single night of these past three years, I just couldn't remember who you were; and it killed me every time that I couldn't because I knew that you were something important to me, my stupid mind just wouldn't let me know what" he laughed breathily.

"Do you want to know what jogged my memory for good, Blaine Anderson?" he nodded, a look of sympathy morphed in to his features, more tears tumbling down my face "It was the letter you left in that scrapbook dad made me. The picture you left with it" I reached into my pocket and pulled out the picture of the two of us lying on the couch, him kissing my forehead and showed it to him and he laughed at the younger versions of ourselves "that was what made me realise what a life I had been living for the past 3 years; a life with something missing; you. You are the thing I have been looking for the years that we have been apart. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder; well, that is so true. Seeing that letter and this picture made me see what I was missing. I haven't felt complete since that awful accident that got us in to this mess" I finished; Blaine still staying silent, looking in to my eyes and my hand still on his cheek, getting wet with the tears he was shedding.

"What I'm saying is that; Blaine" he nodded and raised his eyebrows "I still love you. I have loved you for the past 6 years of my life" his smile widened and his expression relaxed completely, his eyes gazing in to my soul through my eyes and seeing right through me; like he always had done, and like he was doing now "And I can't live without you here, by my side"

"Kurt Hummel" he started, putting his guitar down and curling his index finger under my chin "where would I be without Kurt Hummel?" he said, before leaning in, like he had so many times before.

His lips touched mine softly and I gasped. It felt so new, yet so familiar in the same moment. His hand came to the back of my neck and pulled me closer to him, joining me kneeling on the floor, and deepening the kiss slightly.

"How I've missed you" he whispered on to my lips before pressing his to mine again. Our tears mingled as we kneeled together in the back garden of the Hudmel house, in the middle on Ohio, in the middle of Lima, in the middle of the world, and despite all of the other people out there who were in this exact same moment, I knew they would never feel the same as I did right now.

I had never been more in love.

And I had never felt so complete.

The note on the guitar caught my eye.

Happy birthday my dearest Blaine- I love you so much and I know how much you loved this guitar so I thought I would indulge you on this very important birthday. I miss you every day we are apart and I will always love you- your Kurt xx

I smiled in to the kiss we shared and knew that things weren't going to heal easily; that not everything would be okay with one kiss.

But I knew we would make it; now more than ever.

A/N: Thanks for reading. It would be great if you could review and tell me what you think of my story! Thanks x