Failure Is Not An Option (Sometimes It's An Inevitability)

by Liss Webster

In the absence of a steady stream of otherly-dimensioned gods looking to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting earth, there's not a whole lot of work for the entire Avengers team. Keen for them to keep their hands in, Fury sends them to what seems to be a natural disaster in South America.

The Avengers have faced down gods. How hard can nature be?

Turns out, nature, in conjunction with some motherfucking mine-owning assholes with piss-poor attention to health and safety, can be pretty damn hard.

oOo

In the quiet of the early morning, when everyone else is still in bed and there is only the faintest light to suggest the sun might be rising, Bruce Banner sits in his lab and remembers watching Christopher Reeve don his Superman costume and fly backwards round the world, turning back time to save Lois Lane. That's not possible, Bruce knows; movie stuff, contrary to the laws of physics.

But Bruce gets angry and turns into giant green muscled monster called the Hulk, so he thinks the laws of physics are, occasionally, overemphasised.

They're the Avengers. They should be able to turn back time.

He wishes they could turn back time.

oOo

"Do you want to talk about it?" asks Pepper. Her voice is full of empathy.

"Hey," says Tony, "did you see they let Hammer out of prison? Did we know he was related to the president?"

"I told you once," says Pepper, which is apparently as far as she is willing to commit herself.

"Huh," says Tony. He's wearing a lot of grease. His hair's sticking up. He's not looking at Pepper. "Jarvis, try rotating the side thrusters three degrees."

oOo

The night before Clint had spent hours on target practice before throwing a mug at the wall, so when Fury says, "That did not go as well as I would have liked," Coulson thinks it's the understatement of the year. Or would have been if he hadn't had Jane Foster's assistant in his office a month before, saying, "So. Tony Stark. A challenge, huh?"

Still, he's a professional. He says, "No, sir," and retreats to his office to write up the evaluation.

oOo

Natasha's face is stony. "That mission was completely inappropriate," she says.

"Uh-huh," says Clint, inspecting arrows.

"What was the Director thinking, even sending us?" she demands.

"No idea," says Clint.

"We're not in a fucking comic book," she says (and Clint wonders if she's seen what they wear). "We're not humanitarians. We're not here to save puppies."

"Fuck puppies," says Clint.

Natasha suddenly lets out a sigh, and he's momentarily afraid she might cry.

"There were so many of them," she says quietly. "And we couldn't do anything."

That's the problem.

oOo

Coulson takes the time to observe Steve Rogers. If anyone's going to have a problem with what happens, he thinks, it's probably a national hero-stroke-icon who wants to save the world and is slightly too compassionate for the twenty-first century to cope with.

"It was a tragedy," says Steve soberly, "but everyone did their best, Agent Coulson. Nobody can ask more than that."

Coulson wonders if he's met the rest of his team.

oOo

The headlines are mostly about what happened. More than one runs a picture of Thor, a dead child in his arms, the rubble of the collapsed mine behind him.

Inarticulate, Thor rends the papers into sawdust, strikes Tony's prize flatscreen with Mjolnir, and explodes into the sky.

Coulson reassesses who has the most difficulty dealing with failure.

oOo

Clint says, "Hey, I'm starving. Lunch?" and ignores Natasha's lack of response. He makes borscht, the way she showed him once, when they were immured in some shitty Murmansk apartment, surveilling a fat Russian mob boss with disgusting sexual habits and, apparently, a phobia for curtains. He adds dill and sour cream and vodka.

Natasha's browsing news sites, fingers hovering over the pictures.

He adds more vodka.

oOo

Steve's taken to catching up with the world from the depths of Tony's lab. He's got as far as the Cold War. It's mostly depressing, interspersed with randomly cheerful human interest stories that have been provided (he is informed) by a girl called Darcy. He has no idea who this is, but she's making the modern human condition more bearable, and for that he's grateful.

He's reading about the Stasi, when Tony throws a wrench across the room and says, "We should have fucking killed them."

It takes Steve a moment to take his head out of East Germany and into South American mining companies. "Not really what the Initiative is about," he says mildly. Tony's reply is unprintable and, in parts, entirely novel to Steve.

Steve says, "There are other ways to deal with people like that, right?"

Tony's eyes narrow. Steve finds it unexpectedly attractive.

oOo

Bruce appears in the living room in the early evening, rolls of paper tucked under his arm. "So," he says, "I've been looking at some geological surveys, and…"

Clint and Natasha point mutely down the stairs to Tony's lab. They're watching the business news, which strikes Bruce as a little weird, but whatever. Like he can judge any more.

No-one comes up the stairs for three hours.

oOo

Tony's slumped on the sofa, beer in hand, when Steve appears in the doorway.

"Hi," says Steve.

"I'm watching porn," says Tony.

"Okay?" says Steve. He's not sure it is OK. Tony switches off the tv. Which… "I thought Thor destroyed your television?"

Tony looks at him blankly. "I got another one. Look, Steve, here it is. Thanks." He starts fiddling with his phone.

Steve is confused. "Er… what?"

"What, do we have to have some kind of emotional post-mortem?" snaps Tony. "You know. Thanks. I was angry, and you… y'know. Fixed it. Fixed me."

Steve smiles, suddenly and fully. "Well, hey," he says, "I think that was mostly you."

Tony considers this. "That is actually true," he says. "I was pretty amazing."

"I think I helped."

"Yeah, yeah, your contribution was – you know what, always appreciated. It's nice when the little people can do their part."

"I'm little now?"

Tony sort of sketches a Captain America-sized shape in the air. "Well, you've got the… and I mean… I think this is getting off-topic."

oOo

"I can't decide if Stark is a genius or our ultimate nemesis waiting to blossom forth," says Bruce, as he and Natasha walk back to their respective rooms.

"I'm compiling a dossier," says Natasha. It's more reassuring than it sounds. She continues, "Barton made me borscht."

"Did it help?" asks Bruce.

"Yes."

"I'm glad."

oOo

Coulson's getting ready for bed when his phone rings. It's Fury.

"What the hell's this I hear about Stark buying out two-thirds of the mining industry in South America?"

Coulson frowns as he removes his socks. "I don't know, sir. My intelligence says he's bought out the entire mining industry in South America." He glances across at Clint, who gives him the thumbs up. "Yes, that's definitely the case, sir. Yes, sir. He's in New Mexico. Yes. Good night."

He brushes his hair; brushes his teeth; hangs up his suit. Clint's almost asleep when Phil gets into bed, but he rolls over and says, "So, health and safety regulations in Stark Industries are a bitch."

They're not demonstrative, but Phil reaches out, and runs his thumb along the short hairs at the nape of Clint's neck. "I think I heard that," he says, and switches out the light.

oOo

The next morning, it's Wednesday, and Thor reappears. He's bearing bagels, and says, "Next time, my friends, we will do better."

"It might not be the right kind of mission…" starts Coulson, but,

"Someone's got to try," says Natasha. She shrugs, perfectly coiffed, and takes a bagel. "Although Stark is apparently saving the world with his money."

"He's a philanthropist," says Steve fondly.

"Hey!" objects Tony. "As I've previously stated, I'm a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist."

"Yeah, guys," says Clint, "he's a billionaire philanthropist."

It gets a bit chaotic after that, what with Tony sneering, "That's hilarious, Barton. No, really. How much do they pay you for that stuff?" and someone throwing a bagel at Thor, who neatly bats it out of a plate glass window (Coulson's got a glazier on speed-dial, because obviously), and CNN being full of Stark Industries' sudden acquisitions.

oOo

The newsreader shows pictures from the mines; pictures of the dead; pictures of the heroes who were too late. The Avengers are quiet. But not defeated.

FIN