Title: How to get mistaken for being homosexual

Genre: Romance, Comedy, High school, Drama

Rating: Rated R, for Unrated. Or Um, Just lots of sex in the future (maybe)

Warnings: Swearing, sex, gay-bashing, guy/guy, uh yeah.

Thank you for the reviews & favs! :')

anata wa doushite ikiteiru no? Why do you live?

How to Get Mistaken for Being Homosexual

Kagami/Kuroko

Class Three: We Can Fuck?

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Mrs. Danlies blinked a few times her constricted breast seemingly popping out like her pretty brown eyes were — she tilted her head, soft short brown locks falling to the side.

"Um... Kuroko-kun?" She asked awkwardly, the tallest person in her class (the rough looking red-headed boy) moved to the very corner of the desk when she said the name, the furtherest he could get away from the uh... Boy? She snorted, she should have known Kuroko would end up being a female (a very pretty one, too.) A woman's intuition is never wrong.

"Here." He... (She?) Said in the same monotonous voice, that sounded much more manly than womanly, but who is she too judge? She's only teaching so she can find herself a nice young girl.

Even though that's technically against the law.

"I see..." She mumbled shrugging off the disturbing feeling that something is incredibly wrong, and continuing her cooking class. "Now kids, today we'll start making a cake and the icing and stuff tomorrow, okay?" All the heads in her class bobbed up in down, the two males instead choose to stare blankly at their unknown lesbian teacher.

"Instructions are on your desk, begin! And Kagami you must, must" she empathized, "help Kuroko-kun today."

The red-head gave a doomed expression to his teacher before slowly turning his head to the side to look at his very pretty male partner. Or so he thinks. At the moment, Kuroko's gender can be very questionable.

There sat a boy dressed as a girl, the lip-gloss making the thin lips so pouty and kissable it's almost sinful, the short spiky blue locks that usually sat on the monotonous boys head constricted and a long sky-blue locks from the wig placed on the petite head, and honestly, the mascara made Kuroko's already long eye lashes seem like long fluttering wings, not only that, but it also brings out the beautiful blue eyes, but to Kagami it only made him doubt the males gender even more.

He slowly moved back towards the area he should be sitting (instead of the corner of the desk he had chosen to occupy instead of facing the male he had forcibly kissed yesterday.)

A look of paled repulsion over took Kagami's features.

He could've simply blamed the whole ordeal on the gender-confused teen beside him if it had only been Kuroko that had kissed him, but it wasn't. He had kissed the blue haired boy back, Kagami had even shamefully enjoyed the kiss. Even if it had been a quick lip-bump, it was still enough to send sparks to his very core.

"Is this a cup of sugar?" The even voice of his culinary arts partner (and back of the storage room kissing partner) broke him from his trance, a large whole bag of sugar being held in front of Kagami's face.

The red-head quickly snatched the bag, then a measuring cup from Kuroko's side of the desk and poured the sugar to exactly one cup, handing the cup to the teen. "This is a cup. Are you stupid?"

"Well," the small boy said taking the cup and pouring it without mercy into a large plastic bright lime green bowl, "I could be, and therefore you just insulted me, what if I had brain damage that made me stupid? Isn't that a bit cruel, Kagami-kun."

The homophobic teen merely shrunk — the way his name was said wasn't under any circumstance; a good thing.

"Whatever" he grumbled crossing his large muscular arms and closing his eyes while leaning back into his chair.

"I don't think this is enough sugar for a cake though..." He heard the monotonous boy mumble, ignoring the dressed as a girl boy he continued to try and will his thoughts away from Kuroko, to his dreams.

He heard a big plump of a large loud heavy item being dropped into the bowl, the red-heads eyes shot open quickly turning to look at the mixing bowl. He stared obtusely at the whole bag of sugar placed in the bowl, the bag included.

Kuroko— he decided in his thoughts, is awfully bad at cooking.

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After his 6 near death experiences class finally ended, letting Kagami bolt from his class room to his next one (away from Kuroko), Kuroko left alone to clean up the well baked cake (after Kuroko's 6 not-very-helpful help attempts, Kagami had begun to make the cake himself). With small bitter stomps with his 3 inch high light baby blue heels, Kuroko finally managed to clean around their area.

I am a bit peeved, the teen decided when he opened the doors to get out of his classroom — his teachers eyes following him out of the room, his plan on making Kagami uncomfortable and second doubt his sexuality only went so far.

His plan had failed in a way (he did make Kagami doubt himself though; hell— he's making every walking breathing male doubt themselves) He felt peeved for having to dress like a seductive whore for nothing.

Cause Kagami hadn't tackled him demanding more kisses!

Rats, he thought annoyed.

Well, he hadn't really dressed like a whore. He merely had short black shorts with heels and a fluffy chest-covering (because he lacks boobs) shirt, coloured in the matching colour of his shoes. The student council had come to give him hell, claiming that even though he's cross-dressing he must wear a uniform, Kuroko had rebutted claiming he doesn't have one.

The student council president had handed him one, the boy cursed his luck.

Puffing out his cheeks thinking, Kuroko wandered into the males bathroom (everyone currently in there fleeing within a seconds time) as he undressed from his whore outfit and placed himself in the girls school outfit, keeping the black shorts underneath, though.

His next class world history was uneventful, no one really realized his existence in that class, the most he had been realized was by Shinji and Hyuuga who had walked by him when he had wandered out of the classroom to go for a pee, they had merely given him strange looks and whispered very non-quietly too themselves "is that Kuroko?" "that looks like Kuroko!"

Kuroko didn't really blame his seniors, he'd be very confused too.

At lunch — Kuroko had found Momoi and Aomine near a shop near his school, he had sat and discussed with them his battle plans for Kagami — Aomine seemed perturbed while Momoi had squealed going on about Junjou Romantica and boys love, wonderful.

"So... Really you're trying to destroy—I mean mess with this dude by um, being homo?" Aomine asked awkwardly, placing a hand over Momoi's mouth and shushing her with a hiss of his tongue.

"Pretty much." Was his even answer, Aomine rolled his eyes.

Leave it to Kuroko to act as something completely insane as normal.

Kuroko raised patting and smoothing out his mandatory skirt before giving a cute girly wave, "bye bye Aomine-kun." The teen said in his usual dead tone, Aomine stared blankly — tempted to hit his friend.

The only sound heard was the click-clack coming from the blue heels of his friend since middle school, Kuroko's lips curved upwards. It's rare he smiles, but messing with Kagami is... Is very entertaining.

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"Line up maggo—what the fuck" Riko breathed her evil-gleaming whistle falling from her parted pale plump pink lips, her brown eyes scrunched up to narrow at the figure at the entrance, she knows that face, those lifeless blue-sky eyes but—

She doesn't know the black mini skirt and high heels accompanied by a frilly blue tank top, as she gapped the whole team turned to look at what she had her eyes on, some understood (mostly second years and a very uncomfortable Kagami) and some just believed a pretty blue-haired girl was visiting them from the heavens.

"Kuroko-kun?" She asked with disbelief, the girl at the entrance tilted her head — eyes gleaming with amusement and the males in the gym paled. Riko coughed into her hand, smoothing out her outfit and holding herself more proudly before placing her hands on her hips, glaring at the cross dresser. "Go get changed, you can't play basketball in that" she waved off-handily to his persona, "hurry up too, before Kise sees you in that bloody outfit."

"Actually, I'd like too watch the practice today."

"Zip it princess and get playing!"

Kuroko frowned, pushing a piece of lose blue wig hair behind his pale little ear.

"I don't want to play today Aida-san, I want too—"

"Princess" She drawled, approaching with long intimidating steps, the males (that aren't dressed as females) all moved to a corner, knowing a pissed off Aida isn't a good one. Kuroko though, seemed unaffected by her advances.

"Unless you want me to strip you right here, get changing!"

There was a silence before—

"Okay," Kuroko said lifting his arms to the side, "strip me."

Her pretty brown eyes blinked a few million times, taking in the words (and the sight before her) before she blushed, tightening her hold on her silver whistle, she wanted to growl, snarl and go on about how she'll rip his fucking head off in his sleep! But she didn't, pride is important too her.

And giving into Kuroko's messed up games isn't very prideful.

"Fine" Aida said, eyes gleaming she turned to look at her basketball members, slowly she lifted her finger to point at one member—

If Kuroko can play mind games, so can she.

"Kagami-kun, come strip Kuroko-kun."

The red-heads eyes widened (much to big for his face) and his body seemed to tense incredibly. Riko moved her hand to the side to point to the change rooms, "yup, this is your punishment for self-playing yesterday, now go strip off this princess in the change room. Okay, princess?"

The blue haired boys eyes were calculating, lips in a thin lip before the wigged head bobbed up and down. "Alright, let's go Kagami-kun" he began walking forward, stiff legs following behind the uncovered legs of the male wearing a skirt.

They entered the change room in silence, horrified, Kagami watched the person he'd have to strip sit down comfortably on the bench, lifting up one leg to put it in Kagami's reach.

"Beige leggings." He said simply rubbing the back of his hand against his lip-glossed lips, the red-head gulped lowering his eyes gaze to reach up and under the skirt, his face flushing far too much —his hair and face-colour matched; pretty yet petty— his large padded finger tips ghosting over the pale thigh skin of the monotonous boy, quickly he grabbed the leggings top and pulled it down, down to the pale slender ankles.

Now— another one to go.

He licked his chapped lips, looking up from under his bangs, Kuroko looking off to the side, long eye lashes batting innocently at the white dirty tiles of the change room.

"Do I really have to do this?" Kagami finally breathed, gasping for breath not even realizing he hadn't taken one since being told he'd have to strip Kuroko and his cross dressing out-fit away.

He can shamefully admit, he had much more dirty images going through his mind when he was forced into the position of what he is doing now.

Slowly the boy-girl's head turned to look at the person undressing him, eyes calm, face blank, the only sign of life was the pink tinge from the blush of make-up on the boy's face.

"Yeah" Kuroko said simply lifting his other leg and placing the one Kagami had just done down, "stop being embarrassed and we can go play basketball, Kagami-kun."

This guy, Kagami breathed in from his nose lowering his head again and sliding his fingers up along the smooth thighs of Kuroko, is really sinful.

The teen jerked from the sudden brave touch along his leg, eyes locked onto Kagami for sign of what the fuck he is doing, Kagami smirked.

"If you can be mean, so can I." The red-head stated dully, growing a very stern spine and pealing the beige legging from the pale thin skin of Kuroko, no hesitation longer present. The blue haired cross dresser narrowed his pretty blue eyes, cracking his petite toes and leaning back.

"Is that mean we will fuck?" He asked in his usual dead-tone stopping Kagami dead in his tracks, the teen clicked his tongue shaking his head, "wrong set of words, can we fuck?"

Kagami gapped — openly, quickly pushing the boy away from him, standing up (face more flushed than when you sit in class learning about the inside of a vagina)

"NO" he screeched voice much higher, Kuroko smirked, amused.

This is much better, he thought happily, kicking his feet, a Kagami wrapped around my finger is — much, much, better.

The bravery Kagami had just showed his puppet master was disturbing, it showed the red-head would only put up with so much, and Kuroko would not like that.

The victim turned to stomp out of the change room, the stockingless cross-dresser whistled,

"Aren't you suppose to undress me?"

"Do it yourself!" He boomed before marching out of the room.

Kuroko sighed, looking down at himself.

"How sad, it would have been nice to get a good fuck, it would've made my day brighter."

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"You're cruel and sadistic" he read out in droned voice, he blinked once, than twice and nodded at the computer screen. "I am" he confirmed, scrolling down, his father behind him frowned — the mother continued with the folding of the laundry.

"Kuro-chan, what are you doing?" The man refused to acknowledge the questionnaires title; 'Do you top or bottom?'

In high school all guys know what that means, uke and seme, it's common sense for when you are bullying vice being bullied. Heavens forbid why his son would willingly take a test to see if he gets it up the ass or not, is beyond him.

"I am seeing if I am uke or seme."

"Uke" the mother chimed, placing her sons underwear on the right cushion, the child pouted.

"Just cause Kagami-kun is taller than me, does not make him the seme!" He whined in protest, the father wobbled towards his chair sitting in the living room, falling into it without much effort.

"Invite him over some time dear, I want to mess with him too."

"You cannot be lesbian!" The father whined in protest in the background, the woman snorted pushing a lock of brown hair behind her ear.

"I won't be a lesbian, I'll be bisexual." She smiled innocently (well as much as a stoned-faced person could) before going back to her chores, her son tsk'ed and continued with his online test.

"Do you like to take control of a situation, or do you like when someone does something unexpected?" Kuroko read aloud, his father groaned turning onto his stomach to stare blankly at the screen.

"You need better friends." The man concluded, jetting out his bottom lip and sulking.

"I agree" Kuroko said deadly.

"Honey, don't criticize your friends."

"I bet you dear it's that Aobide guy that turned my son gay!"

"Why is that dad? And it's 'Aomine', duh." He dead panned, turning his chair to look at his parents.

"Hottest friend." Mother confirmed, Kuroko nodded turning back to the computer.

"Oh" he said suddenly hitting his mouse against the desk, "it says I am an uke, won't Kagami be delighted."

"YOU PLAN ON HAVING SEX WITH HIM?" His dad screeched shooting up and diving for his son. Kuroko easily dodged (having much practice with Kise).

"Yeah" was the dead-toned answer, the father sobbed, falling onto his knees, looking up to the sky.

"Why... Where did I go wrong?"

There was a long re-lapse of what indeed he did wrong while raising Kuroko.

A very, very long list.

Author Note: I hope you enjoooyed, i got so much love for this story i decided to update it first ~ Please tell me if you spot any mistakes, I'm bad at correcting so yeah xd