(A/N): got the idea (and permission to totally steal it) from TheYmp's Hooke's Law. I recommend you read it, because he is amazing :)

As Sam drove, Dean slept in the backseat and even in his sleep, Sam could tell he wasn't exactly a happy camper. Then again, wouldn't you be a little grumpy if you had just found out that you had been impregnated by the monster you were hunting? Of course not, most people run from monsters, not do the dirty with them.

Sam let out a stress-filled sigh, while at the same time trying to stop a chuckle from slipping out as he thought of his brothers reaction to the news.

The moment his brother swaggered his way into their hotel room, arms full of McDonald's and beer, he knew why Dean hadn't shown at the crime scene last night. And he was pissed. Dean had a habit of doing that to him, like he was Sams automatic stress button.

"Had fun last night, I'm guessing?"

Dean shrugged his shoulder and Sam found it odd that, when Dean turned to face him, he didn't have that annoying, self assured grin he usually did after a nights "conquest".

"I dunno man. I mean, she was great-but after? Man I threw up three times on my way here alone! Not to mention the headaches and I passed out once-"

Dean had only been in the room for about three minutes and Sam was already coming to a few conclusions; either Dean was a bigger martyr (or idiot. Or both. Probably both.) than he's thought previously or Dean was still drunk.

"Excuse me? You passed out? And that didn't strike you as-I don't know-odd? Do you think you caught some kinda bug or something?"

Dean shrugged. "I hope that's all it is."

Sam shook his head in agreement and decided to let his brother off the hook for this one. "Anyway, I got some stuff on the baby thief."

Dean snorted. "Rumpelstiltskin, right?"

Sam shook his head with his customary sigh and frustrated/exhausted scowl. "I wish, man, but this thing's about five times worse. It's an African river snake that, according to legend, slips its skin on the month of their mother, Nyaminyami, which just happens to be June-lucky us-, turning into beautiful men and woman for just that one month a year. They spend the entire month finding 'mates' and laying their eggs inside of them*. Which would explain why there were a few men who'd had their babies stolen."

Dean nodded, only half paying attention as he went pale, abruptly set down, and began breathing deeply, holding his stomach. "Y-you'd think there would b-be more of them then...r-right?"

Sam looked over and noted his brothers ragged and sickly appearance, but before he could ask, Dean gave him a glare that almost physically hurt, it was so strong. Sam took a hint for once and let it go. "Um...yeah, but they-uh-they need to mate in the river they were born in, so-Dean?"

Dean had suddenly collapsed, falling off his chair and onto the floor where he began to throw up so bad, it turned red. Sam jumped up and rushed to help his brother, dragging him into the bathroom and putting him in front of the toilet and rubbing his back as his brother threw up blood and cried. It was scary, Sam would admit, but he hid his fear by asking Dean questions-where he'd been, if the person he'd been with had been sick, when the throwing up had started-but Dean didn't-couldn't respond.

When Dean finally stopped, he rested his cheek on the toilet seat as Sam flushed the red mess away.

"G-god...this is bad..."

Sam nodded and helped his brother sit on the edge of the bathtub as he helped him out of his now ruined t-shirt and jeans and gave him a cover while he found him new clothes, as Dean was now shivering.

"Sammy?"

Sam sat up from his scrubbing of the carpet in the mini kitchen."Hush Dean, just relax. Take a nap in the bathtub, okay? That way if you throw up, we won't have to pay for new sheets." Dean laughed weakly at Sams pathetic attempt at humor, but was cut off halfway by a dry heave. "Just take it easy, okay, no talking or moving-"

"Sammy. I'm not sick."

Sam stopped his frantic, almost obsessive cleaning (it was his coping mechanism) and looked over at Dean, raising an eyebrow.

Dean backtracked at that look. "Well, I am sick but it's not because I caught anything or anything. Or maybe I did on top of this, which would explain why it hurts so much-"

"Dean! Get to the point, please!"

"I think the ***** mated me."

Dean then promptly threw up again and Sam had to check to make sure he hadn't broken anything when he passed out and fell backwards into the bathtub.

It took a few days, but they finally got to Bobby's. When they drove up, Bobby was already on the front porch, Ellen and Jo by his side. All of them looked pissed and worried, except Jo who looked pissed, worried, and amused. Typical.

Sam parked and stepped out quickly, practically running to the back to wake Dean up and help him get out of the car. Dean had been extremely emotional and fragile since he'd woken up, needing Sam to help him walk and lift things for him and deal with him getting angry about these things without getting angry himself. All this generally just made Dean even angrier, which usually led to him stomping off to his motel room, locking the door, and breaking everything inside it he could find. Now was no different as he shook Sam off, but almost collapsed when he tried to take more than a step by himself. Sam caught him and slung his arm around his brothers waist and his brothers arm around his shoulders.

"I hate this. I hate you."

Sam glared and sighed but said nothing, causing Dean to smirk a bit, thinking he'd finally won something against Sam. Sam, surprisingly, let him and just carried him up the steps to the porch, stopping so he could pass Dean off to Jo and Ellen and he and Bobby could talk as the five of them headed back inside.

"Just when I thought you boys couldn't get any dumber-"

Dean flipped him off, but groaned and almost threw up on the floor, but Sam was prepared and thrust a trash can into Jo's hands, who held it under Dean as he puked blood.

Bobby cursed and turned to Sam. "Do you know what did it?"

Sam nodded and filled him in.

Bobby scratched his beard and let this sink in. "Well that doesn't make sense-their stomachs exploded, but their babies were gone. Did the babies just crawl their way out?"

Sam shook his head. "Junas's**, the river snakes, don't just lay one or two or even three eggs. They lay thousands. So many are inside the mates that often, their stomachs explode from the pressure."

Dean looked up from the couch and looked about on the verge of tears. "I have thousands of those little turds in me?"

Sam nodded nervously, but was quick to add, "Only a few of those actually make it out, though. So, until the majority of Deans little monster babies die in his stomach-which is why he's throwing up-he's gonna be really sick for a while. Oh, and big. Really big."

Bobby collapsed into his chair, took his hat off, and scratched his head in thought. "Any way to speed that up? Or better yet-get rid of 'em all?"

Sam started to shake his head no, but stopped and almost smiled. "I don't know, but there is someone who might. Dean?"

Dean groaned and waved his hand at Sam. "You call him. I'm napping."

Jo covered her mouth and left the room, but Sam openly laughed, stopping only when Dean threw a pillow at him.

"Alright, alright, I'll call."

Sam clasped his hands, closed his eyes, and bowed his head. "Dear Castiel, I know you've kinda got a war going on up there, but would it be possible for you to come down here for a bit. We've kinda got a problem." Silence. "A Dean problem." Still nothing. "A bad one."

Sam groaned when he opened his eyes to find the room empty of any "feathered friends".

Dean sighed, sat up from the enormous fortress of blankets and pillows Jo had made for him (his hair sticking up funnily, which looked oddly cute on him as he had already started to gain some pudge), slammed his hands together, squeezed his eyes shut.

"Hey Cas, if you're not down here in five seconds, I'll come up there and drag you down. Don't make me come up there!"

That got Cas's attention. A flutter of feathers announced his arrival, scaring the living daylights out of Jo and Ellen. "I hope for your sake that was a joke."

Dean snickered and collapsed into his fortress. "Ooh, threatening me now, are you? Geez, I'm terrified!"

Dean was almost asleep again, but he promptly woke up when he felt a hand on his now slightly bloated belly. "Dude, what the hell, Cas?"

Cas was pretty much ignoring Dean, instead looking at his stomach, seeming to see more than was really there, with a small smile. He finally looked up at Dean, still smiling. "They are beautiful. I believe you would say, 'congratulations'?"

Dean sat up straight at that. "You can see the little ****ers?"

Castiel shook his head. "Not their bodies, no, but their souls. Theirs shine almost as bright as yours."

Deafen blushed bright at that and ducked his head. "U-um, thanks...I guess?"

"How many are there?", Sam asked.

Castiel looked back at Deans stomach, chuckling a little when Dean blushed again, glared, and tried to cover his stomach with his arms. "Dean, I am an angel. I can see souls through skin."

Deans blushed darkened and he grumbled. "Whatever."

Cas ignored Dean and said to Sam, "Approximately three hundred."

There was a collective curse among the occupants of the room, and Deans hands went back to his stomach, looking down at it with wonder.

"How big are they?"

"I can only see their souls, but..."

Cas reached forward and put a hand on Deans belly, concentrated, and his eyes glowed a little before he backed off, sat down, and held Deans hand. He pointed to Deans pinky fingernail. "Approximately that big, Dean."

Dean smiled a little, but seemed to remember that other people were around and curled back into his fortress and fell asleep.

"Cas, do you know any way to get those out of Dean faster?"

Cas seemed to think for a bit, then nodded but looked worriedly at him. "I can get the living ones out by their souls, but the dead ones have to come out naturally. And it will hurt him greatly, both physically and mentally."

Sam thought about this, but nodded for Cas to do it anyway.

Cas sighed and put two fingers on Deans stomach, slowly pulling away as a line of pure bluish white light streamed out of Dean and to Cas's fingers. Dean began moaning and gripping the covers in his sleep, sweating and screaming in pain. He opened his eyes a little and grabbed Cas's hand with his own shaky one.

"P-please...let t-them sta-ay..."

Sam shook his head and put a hand on Deans shoulder to get his attention. "Dean we have to get these out of you-"

Dean stopped moving, stopped breathing, and turned extremely pale. Cas immediately let go of the string of souls. Dean took a deep breath, then turned on his side and threw up.

Dean sat up a second later and wiped his mouth and looked at Cas worriedly with tears streaming down his face. "S-so what's the diagnosis, doc?"

Cas did not lift his eyes from Deans stomach. "They have intertwined their souls with yours, Dean." Cas smirked a little. "They are just as stubborn as you are."

Dean fell back against the pillows and Jo put a wet washcloth on his face. "Awesome. Just awesome."

Cas turned to Sam with a serious expression on his face. "There is good news and bad news."

Dean groaned. "Good news first, please."

Sam gasped with mock astonishment. "You said please!"

Dean glared over at his brother. "Stuff it, *****!"

"Jerk", Sam replied and for a second he could almost imagine that nothing had changed.

Cas coughed awkwardly to get their attention. "The good news is that Dean will be infinitely more powerful than before, due to the souls. Likely, if they were to stop dying, he would be more powerful that even the strongest arch angel." Cas gave a pointed look, but held his tongue. "The bad news is that, because they are so entangled in Dean, when they die they will drain him and likely cause him grief. They will also have more control over his actions and emotions as the pregnancy goes on."

Dean sat up and glared. "Don't call it that." When everyone gave him surprised looks (except Cas, who gave Dean a sympathetic look), he sat back and growled. "Great! So for the next oh, nine months or so, I'll waddle around, crying and throwing fits like a pregnant girl. That'll go down great with the monsters!", he said sarcastically.

"No!", Sam shouted. "No monsters, demons, or angels, except Cas, until this is over, alright?"

Dean whined, turning over and giving Sam puppy dog eyes. "Pwease, Sammy?"

Sam glared, unaffected after years of preparation. "No."

Dean turned the look on Cas, who bit his lip, gave a miserable look to Sam, and disappeared. Dean glared and gave it one last try on Bobby. Bobby stayed strong for all of two minutes until the tears started falling.

"One more hunt, and we're all goin' with ya. And I swear to God, if you come back with even a scratch, it'll be the last hunt you ever go on, got me?"

Sam threw Bobby *****face number seven and stormed off when Bobby only shrugged.

Dean punched his fist in the air. "Yea-...oh god-"

He then proceeded to throw up all over Castiel's coat. Cas sighed and wiped Deans mouth with his tie.

Dean smiled shakily and chuckled a bit. "S-sorry."

*real African Goddess, fake myth and mystery.

**not a real monster, but hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

***Side note: When you see multiple of these little buggers (*), that means a curse word should go there. Be creative, insert whatever you think fits.

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Saint-cerely, Perse. Q.