Gil sat on the edge of his bed, undressed for bed save for his pants and slightly unbuttoned white shirt. He sat with his head in his hands, apprehensive and confounded beyond belief. Oz... he...

Does he have any idea what he's doing?

That kiss surely wasn't nothing; even he couldn't talk himself into believing that. The only possibility is that... Oz missed Gil. The Gil he grew up with. Why he decided those emotions equated to romanticism wasn't clear.

But he wasn't... he wasn't Gil anymore. He was a Nightray now, a trained killing machine, just another tool of Pandora.

He wanted this, yes, more than he's ever wanted anything in his life (so badly it hurt), but it was an unreachable goal – Oz had even told him so.

But if this was what Oz wanted now, if he'd somehow changed his mind... would Gil be able to turn him away?

Don't think too much. It was probably a joke or another silly experiment.

But the image of Oz's clenched eyes, the puff of breath he felt when he'd started kissing him back... It seemed too real to dismiss.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard a knock on the door and he willed himself to calm down. He could feel the blood thunder through his neck and wrists he was so nervous.

"Gi-ru~?" he heard and he jumped up to let him in as a formality, although the door was unlocked.

He hurried to the door, wringing his hands in an effort to keep them from shaking, and pulled it open before he could stress further.

Oz stood on the other side, still fully dressed in his white suit, smiling as always.

He truly was brilliant, wasn't he? His master was beautiful, so breathtakingly so, and every once in a while in a moment like this he was reminded, like a physical blow, just how much he'd fallen.

It made his heart clench with need.

Before Gil could say anything, the blonde pushed past him and jumped on his bed as if he turned people's worlds upside down everyday. He slipped his shoes off and sat cross-legged facing Gil, reaching to untie his bowtie. It was at the point where he was pulling it off and setting it down beside him on the bed that he finally noticed Gil staring at him.

He blinked. "What?"

Gil sputtered, flabbergasted. "What do you mean what? Oz, you... you-!"

"Kissed you?" He averted his eyes for a moment and smiled, "Yeah."

"Why?!"

"Gil, come here." He patted the spot on the bed next to him and lifted his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and rocking slightly.

Typical Oz, perfectly composed despite having just earlier made out with his best friend who happened to be deeply in love with him (not that he knew that, but he'd be thick not to).

Gil stared blankly before obeying, sitting on the edge of the bed much like he did earlier.

"How do you feel about me?"

He froze, his eyes widening in sudden panic. He'd anticipated this question, but not nearly so soon. It was clear what kind of answer he was looking for, but how could he – he couldn't just spill the secret he's been keeping since, well, forever! He couldn't fool himself, but he'd never openly admitted his feelings to another person before, and certainly he couldn't – not to Oz himself. It had taken years for him to even admit it to himself.

But wouldn't it feel nice to finally admit it aloud?

His mouth opened and closed a few times.

"Oz, that's -"

He jumped slightly when he felt a hand lift his chin, and lifted his burning eyes to shining emeralds.

"Heh," is all he said before looking away, grinning.

Heh?! Gil studied him, alarmed and slightly affronted, not comprehending just what could bring about such an ambiguous reaction.

Oz, suddenly serious, stood up and clasped his hands behind his back, then began pacing the area in front of him.

"Gilbert."

The tone he used was enough to startle him to attention; it was the same tone he used to use before sicking Dinah on him. Not to mention he referred to him by his full name.

"I suppose a simple 'I just wanted to' will not suffice?" He looked hopeful.

Gil let out an exasperated breath.

"No, Oz."

"Hmph. How about something along the lines of 'I am your master and I do what I want,' then?"

"Are you serious?"

"Gi-ru~!" He said dramatically, drawing out each syllable in slight irritation. He stopped pacing and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting down at him.

Gil resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead stared up at him expectantly.

"And I said all that embarrassing stuff too," he huffed and looked to the side, "But clearly you weren't even listening."

"I was listening. But that didn't explain – that doesn't explain why... me." He mumbled the last bit, even as he tried to seem condescending. But this was Oz. And Oz was never fazed by any of his otherwise renowned intimidation tactics.

"It does. Ugh, Gil." He slapped a palm over his face, shaking his head, "I really like you, okay?"

Gil couldn't help the wave of heat that settled pleasantly in his chest, no matter how hard he tried to fight the hope. Oz... liked him?

"But -"

"No, just listen. I think I always kinda liked you, Gil." He resumed pacing and seemed determined not to look him in the eye, and it was...fascinating. An abashed Oz was not something he'd ever seen much of. "And yes, I know you're probably thinking of that... time. But what would you have done? Imagine you're the heir of the Vessalius household and your very male best friend and servant suddenly decides to uh, cheer you up with his mouth?

"I've thought about it since then... a lot. But at the time it wasn't something I knew how to or wanted to deal with, Gil. Did you know that Oscar-ojisan has been teasing me about marriage since I was eleven? I've always been expected to produce an besides, until recently I thought... I thought you didn't know what you were doing. My father rejected me, so I thought it was your way of... making me feel accepted. And maybe you didn't know what you were doing and I just sound like a moron." He paused and glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, but it was clear he wasn't finished with his rant.

When he continued, his voice was lower than usual and his eyes were downcast. The genuineness of his expression made Gil want to reach out to him, but he contained himself.

"I feel like my life is split in two; before and after the Abyss," he said, smiling humorlessly, "I was so stupid back then. It's like the things that mattered then don't even compare to what concerns me now. I've always been prepared to move forward without question but when I think about what I missed out on... I realize the part I regret missing the most... is you.

"And you're such an idiot for making me believe that there could be one thing in my life that's consistent."

Oz stopped and stared down at him thoughtfully, his eyes soft.

"You're the same as ever, Gil."

"No, Oz, I'm not, that's -"

Oz placed his hands on his shoulders, and stared him dead in the eye and suddenly he couldn't breathe. The warmth of his hands seeped in through his shirt and he suppressed a shiver.

"You are. When I look at you now, I see Raven, but mostly I see Gil. I don't care about what you've done that makes you so ashamed to look at me because I promise you it doesn't matter. Seriously. I'm not stupid, Gil," he laughed when Gil frowned, "No matter what you did to gain Raven or whatever the Nightrays made you do, you're good enough for me."

It felt as if someone were drenching him with hot liquid from the cheeks downward. It seemed that... Oz had really thought about this. But no matter what he accepted of him, Gil was still nine years his senior and not to mention his servant.

He also couldn't shake the feeling that Oz was merely settling for him. Maybe the one he really wanted was the Gilbert of the past.

"Now... do you have any idea how much you're going to pay for embarrassing your master like this?"

"W-wait, Oz," he bit the inside of his lip, "You told me... you liked girls." He made one last attempt for control. Why did his voice have to sound so small?

Because it's Oz.

"Heh, I can make an exception."

Oh kami, he could feel his eyes glittering with unshed tears. It's just like him to get all weepy after disagreeing with Oz that he's anything like the Gil he used to know. He grit his teeth together, willing himself to stay in control.

"Oz! I'm Raven, not your Gilbert. You're..." making a mistake. He grimaced at the words his mind supplied him.

"My Gilbert?" He tapped his fingertip to his lip as if testing the words, then smirked, "I like the sound of that."

Gil mentally blanched, positively fuming at the suggestiveness of his statement. Who the hell was the adult here?

He wasn't even listening!

He felt Oz's fingertips brush his forehead, catching the locks in his eyes and combing them to the side.

"Oz... don't," he weakly pleaded, willing himself to resist despite the fire of hope that flickered so insistently beneath his ribcage. You're setting yourself up for disappointment, master.

"You... are so cute, Gil." He leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together as Gil squeaked out an "I am not!"

It was really difficult to gather his bearings when he could feel Oz's breath fanning out across his mouth. Oz was smirking as if this was his intention and Gil's eyes were drawn against his will to his lips. He wondered if Oz could feel his temperature rise at least five degrees. Blonde hair brushed his cheeks to mingle in his own, and he was enveloped in his familiar heady scent. Never before could he look at the other this way, had he allowed himself to look at him this way, but here and now the opportunity was presented to him on a silver platter. Oz wasn't even going to give him a chance to speak his mind...

He was teasing him, waiting for him to make the first move. He couldn't think even remotely straight at this point; why was he hesitating again?

Oz's nose brushed his and he shuddered at the simple touch.

So utterly at his mercy...

At this, Oz brushed their noses together more deliberately, his smirk widening, and Gil lurched forward, catching that teasing smirk between his lips, determined to wipe it off his face.

Oh kami, this was...

He was much too fargone at this point and they'd barely even started. He never had a chance. Gil reached up and threaded his fingers in his master's blonde locks, molding their mouths together desperately.

Oz let out a surprised moan at the tugging on his hair and suddenly pushed on his shoulders, causing Gil to fall backward on the bed.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew this wasn't turning out the way he'd intended.

But then Oz suddenly straddled his waist and gripped his jaw hard enough to bruise, their lips clashing hungrily. They were both panting and it was so hot - was it just him?

He felt a wetness on his lip and groaned at the feel of it, a spike of passion passing painfully through his chest at the sensation.

Suddenly, he flipped them over so he was on top and panted over the blonde, staring down at him in disbelief.

Oz was smirking up at him, dominant despite his suddenly submissive positioning.

"See something you like, Gi-ru~?" He cooed, obviously meant to tease him in memory of the moment in the library.

Oh jeez, this was not what Oz was expecting when he came in here. This was much better. This was him having Gil entirely at his mercy in ways he never thought he would. But... his dominant will was faltering and he was not nearly as unaffected as he pretended to be. Gil was... surprisingly dominant and it was a little disconcerting but it was mostly hot.

But he still had it in him to tease his poor servant.

Making sure he had Gil locked in his gaze, he reached up with both hands to the raven's waist, trailing the sides of his thighs to his hips to the bare skin under his shirt – ah, yes, Gil's eyes widened as he trailed his fingertips up to his waist and back down, then spread his palms over his flat abdomen and dragged his hands up to his collarbones and then down his shoulders...

But it was backfiring. Oz's smirk disappeared from his face as Gil shivered at his touch and by this point he was painfully affected and suddenly unsure of himself.

He'd never done anything more than kissing and he wondered, had Gil? It was clear he had some kissing experience, which was... actually a bit disappointing. He supposed he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up that no girlfriend meant he was a virgin. The thought of some stranger's hands touching his innocent servant was unpleasant to say the least, but he knew it was terribly selfish (and naïve) to think that maybe he'd... waited for him.

"O-Oz? We can... stop if you want." Gil must've noticed his falter. He looked worried.

"I just... uh, have you... done this before?" He supposed he might as well find out now, no matter how much he might not like the response...

"Well... sort of. I mean, not more than this..."

Gil looked embarrassed and Oz couldn't fathom why. He lifted an eyebrow.

"Nothing below the waist." He flushed and avoided his eyes.

That was an odd way to put it. Oz decided not to push the subject yet, despite his growing curiosity. Gil glanced at him sideways.

"Have...?"

"No, just... kissing. But even then, not really."

He caught Gil's gaze, determined to quell the threatening blush by glaring instead. "Don't look so surprised."

Then Gil did something unexpected but dangerously exciting. He laughed airily, a rare, gentle sound that sent chills down his spine, before he lowered his head and started placing hot kisses down his jaw and neck. Again, Oz felt his control steadily slipping away, especially when he felt warm breath tickling his ear - "Was I your first, bocchan?"

"G-Gil." He swallowed at the old title. How could he use it at a time like this? And was Gil licking him? He grasped hopelessly at the remaining tendrils of control he had, but still stretched his neck out to give his damn servant more room.

"Well?" Gil placed open mouthed kisses down his neck to the top of his collar and then back up to his ear where he trailed his tongue slowly along the shell.

Oz was beginning to pant. "Y-yes."

"Gil!" he exclaimed when he felt teeth nip lightly into his flesh. Gil was biting him-? Gil was biting his master-?

He pushed at him, not truly annoyed but unwilling to relinquish control. Gil faltered, confused, and Oz pushed him until he sat up to his side.

"Oz, was that -"

A red, befuddled, apologetic, embarrassed Gil was exactly what he was shooting for. He smirked and leaned up on his knees so he'd gain some height before slamming their lips together.

"Mmph!"

Yes, this is exactly where Gil belonged and he would know it. Oz took this moment to make short work of his suit jacket and vest, discarding them and feeling unbelievably cooler.

Gil practically trembled as he ran his hands down his front and groaned deep in his throat as Oz slipped his tongue into his parted mouth.

His servant struggled to stay sitting, first leaning on his hands... then his elbows, and Oz used his weight to push him forward until he was once again pinned flat under him. Oz hovered, not quite ready to take the next step despite feeling so overheated and brainless.

He took a moment to catch his breath and leaned his forehead to the other's, smiling down at his servant. After a long moment, he collapsed on the bed next to him and snuggled into his chest, content now that he'd managed to calm himself down. Gil ran his fingertips along his scalp and he felt his eyelids drooping. What time was it now? It must've been after one at the very least.

"Oz?"

"Mm?"

"What suddenly made up your mind?" Oz leaned his weight on his hand and pushed upward, sharing the pillow with Gil, the pair now lying side by side.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said 'until recently,' implying you hadn't thought of... this before." Oz glanced away at the comforter they were lying on top of before meeting his eyes again.

"I'll answer your question if you'll answer one of mine."

Gil blinked and nodded.

"You and Break... you're close?"

"Wh-what?" Gil looked a bit frazzled which served to increase his suspicions. Out of all the silly decisions his servant could have made while he was in the Abyss... Break?

Oz gave him a knowing look, so Gil felt the need to defend himself.

"He...helped me through a lot while you were..." he paused and trailed off, "Especially during my initiation into the Nightray household. My... age didn't matter to my adoptive parents. Only my gun skills did. If they had their way, I would have done worse than quiet assassinations. And I was ready to, if it meant I could wield Raven. But Break... always allowed me a way out, somehow."

Oz didn't want to put much thought into what "worse" could have entailed, but he could imagine. With Gil's looks, he was sure the Nightrays weren't above using his body itself was as a negotiating tool. He cringed. Gil said he'd been ready to do whatever it took for Raven to acknowledge him, and it was... all for him? Break mentioned something of the sort to him before.

Oz swallowed the lump forming in his throat, "So... were you... romantically...?"

Gil blushed and looked down, and he felt the unfamiliar stirrings of jealousy in his gut. "No... it wasn't romantic."

"You were lonely," he said, matter-of-factly.

He looked surprised, but then his face contorted in guilt. The look was heartbreaking because it mirrored his own guilt, but had no place on Gil's face. He lifted his hand to his cheek and Gil's eyes widened as if he was going to apologize, but Oz beat him to it.

"I'm sorry." He'd never realized just how much his disappearance could have affected him. He was grateful that Gil still wanted to serve him when he returned from the Abyss, but he never imagined that he could mean so much to someone as to cause them pain... for ten whole years. And apparently even longer than that...

"For what? Oz -" But he was cut off by the gentle brush of Oz's lips. This kiss was different from the others, much softer and less forceful. It wasn't open-mouthed or wet, just an exploratory brushing of mouths.

When Oz pulled back, his chest felt tight. Gil looked conflicted.

"Are you... sure about this? I'm only your servant and not to mention a lot older than you now."

"Ugh, Gilbert. As your master I command you to seriously shut up about whether I want this or not."

"But... why the sudden change?" He had somewhat hoped that Gil would forget about it. He turned over onto his back, reaching a hand up to the ceiling absentmindedly. He could feel the other watching him expectantly, still facing him on his side.

"Do you promise not to get angry?"

"Angry? Why would I be angry with you?"

"Not with...me," he said hesitantly. The last thing he wanted was for Gil to rush out of the room and bash Break's door in, as entertaining as that might be...

"Oz. What is it?" His tone was impatient and flat.

"Well, remember that night when you were angry with me?" Gil nodded. "Break... told me you had feelings for me."

There was no response, so Oz turned his head to gauge his reaction. Gil had gone still. He turned on his side and grabbed his hand, which was cool to the touch.

"Gil?"

"What did he say to you?" It was Oz's turn to flush and he picked up Gil's hand to examine it, suddenly fascinated by the faint scars lining his fingertips. He hid his face in the palm.

"Uh... he said..." Kami, was his face really as red as it felt? "That you were in love with me."

The last bit came out mumbled, and despite his embarrassment he kept one eye trained on Gil through a gap in his fingers.

"He said what?!" Gil sat up abruptly, jerked his hand out of Oz's grasp, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His back was facing him now, so he couldn't quite discern the expression he might be wearing.

"Uh..." he said awkwardly, sitting up with one knee brought up to his chest, "Are you... not?"

His heart was suddenly beating erratically in his ribcage. Had he acted on words that weren't even true? It was clear Gil harbored affection for him, but maybe that was just a coincidence. That would be...humiliating.

"That's not... that's not it."

What? That was ambiguous. His heart started beating out of his chest, and he would be surprised if Gil couldn't hear it.

"So... it is or it isn't true?" Oz could tell Gil was fighting some inner battle and hope flared up before he could stop it.

Gil made to get up, "I should... find you something to sleep in."

"No. Gil." He grabbed the back of his shirt before he could stand completely and yanked him down, delighting in the squeak he heard when the back of his head collided with his chest. "Are you?"

"Am I what?" Gil looked annoyed and thoroughly disheveled.

"You're stalling."

Gil sighed.

"Isn't it obvious, Oz?" He turned around, one knee on the bed, leaning over him with one hand resting on the back of his neck. Suddenly, once again, Oz felt like their positions had been reversed. "Of course I am."

This time when Gil kissed him, he gave him the reigns. He felt dizzy, elated to a level he couldn't remember ever feeling before. The kiss was soft and slow, his servant kissing him languidly, and the pace was driving him insane. It was... good. So good. Gil supported the base of his skull with one hand, the other placed as support on the bed, and pressed forward, deepening the kiss with the barest of pressures.

He'd never been kissed like this before, and he reasoned that there was no one who could kiss him like this. This was all Gil, and Gil was in love with him. He pressed his lips back, addicted, resisting the urge to flip the tables again because this was from his servant to him. He felt his body respond in a way different from the hunger he felt earlier. This time it was more of a building passion that set even his fingertips aflame. Gil's fingertips softly stroked up into his hair, his fingernails spawning tingles in their wake. He grabbed more fully onto his scalp to angle him slightly. At the same time Oz felt something wet stroking at his top lip and he shivered, opening his mouth. Gil moaned slightly and he felt his supporting arm start to tremble, but he must have been too fargone to reposition himself. Despite his boldness earlier, Oz felt suddenly shy as he softly tangled his tongue with the other's, drunk on the taste and the friction. He heard a soft moan, and embarrassingly realized it had probably come from himself, but Gil made a sound in response and he couldn't bring himself to care.

Eventually one of them pulled back, and Oz was willing to bet it wasn't him. He followed those lips, pressing soft chaste kisses on their swollen surface, and received the same in return. His eyes, half-lidded, met those of gold and he closed them again just as Gil's did. He couldn't... stop. Where was his control? He was Gil's master, not some lovedrunk fool.

They exchanged kisses for many minutes, but what felt like hours, until Oz's mouth was barely cooperating anymore, and his eyelids were so heavy that he stopped in favor of leaning on Gil's shoulder.

"'M...tired..."

"Do you... uh... want me to carry you to your room?"

Oz gave him a look that clearly showed he thought he was delusional.

Gil got up and dutifully found night clothing for them both, and once they were both dressed they slipped under the covers of the familiar bed. Immediately, worried that his servant would once again be having doubts, Oz snuggled into him and pressed himself against his side.

"Goodnight... Gil." He stayed awake for a few seconds longer, just enough time to feel lips press against his forehead. He smiled and nuzzled deeper into his shoulder, and then he was out.

Gil stayed awake a few moments longer, fingering his swollen, tingling lips. This was really happening; he was powerless to stop it now. So he'd protect it.

With that thought in mind, he slipped off into unconsciousness, feeling un-familiarly weightless.

I'm yours, Oz.