So. This. It popped into my head and was very insistent that I write it, so I did. Other than that, I don't really have an excuse. Read at your own peril.

It was an unusually sunny day in the small town of Forks Washington. This meant that the Cullen children, rather than preparing for a day at school like most kids their (apparent) age, they were instead dressing in old, beat up clothes and preparing for a day hunting giant dangerous animals like bears and mountain lions. Their parents, a smiling couple who's only indication of abnormality was a certain disconcerting disinclination to move at all, including to blink, had already gotten dressed and stood by the door, waiting for their children to join them. The most likely reason for the delay was that, now that all of their kids were paired up, each couple had a habit of spending ninety percent of their time staring adoringly at each other. Or, the older couple amended as a crash shook the upper floor, having rather rough private time, in the case of two of their children.

The older couple, who went by the names of Carlisle and Esme Cullen, were interrupted from their own soulful staring contest by a polite knock at the door. They opened the door to see an older looking gentleman with a smile vaguely reminiscent of viper. This, combined with the large man standing behind him and looking like he would be ready for a war even while asleep on vacation, gave the old man a rather worrisome presence. His distinct lack of heartbeat, combined with the slight glint of fangs they could see beneath his smile, marked him as a vampire, even if his eyes weren't the right color and he was definitely not sparkling in the sunlight filtering through the trees outside their door.

It took a moment of confused gaping before Esme, at least, remembered her manners and stood back from the door. "Please, um, do come in," she said to the man and his companion. At her words, her husband started and moved aside as well, sending the stranger a hesitant smile. The stranger, on the other hand, merely strolled into their home as though he owned it, sending them another of his enigmatic smiles as he did so. His presence was made even more confusing by the fact that his companion smelled clearly like a werewolf, though of a rather different sort than those who lived on the nearby reservation.

The stranger sat down on their sofa with the safe air of ownership, and his companion took up a post behind him, remaining standing. He looked around the room once, and then turned his gaze back to where Esme and Carlisle were still standing by the door. "Call your children, please," he said in a voice like honey. "I would like to speak with the entire family." Carlisle was about to comply after a moment of hesitation, but his call was rendered unnecessary as his children flowed gracefully into the room, having all clearly heard the stranger arrive.

The overly pretty blond at the front of the crowd looked annoyed and a bit bored, sharing a glance with "Who the hell is this?" written all over it in clear bold font with the unusually muscle covered boy next to her. The two who appeared next, a copper haired boy and a dark haired girl, somewhat vacant girl, looked worried and rather lost, respectively, as they clung to each other (though to be fair, the girl often looked rather lost; Esme sometimes wondered if the poor dear had perhaps been dropped on her head a few times as a child). The last couple through the door was a sandy haired boy and an energetic girl with a puff of dark hair sticking in all directions on her head. The sandy haired boy looked wary, while the girl next to him looked confused as she focused intently on the stranger. The youngest child, Renesmee, was currently off with her friend Jacob, and so was not around to join them.

The stranger, for his part, merely watched them all appear with the same smile on his face that he'd had at the door. "Good," he said looking them over and giving the impression that he was looking through them because they were all too insignificant to catch his attention. "Now that we are all here, I shall get quickly to my point. I am Mr. Snow." Only Carlisle reacted to this name, jumping slightly; the rest of his family merely sent him confused looks. The newly named Mr. Snow ignored all the reactions and kept speaking.

"The reason I have come involves a war that will begin soon, but before I explain that, I see that I shall have to explain who I am." Some highly ranking members of any species may have been annoyed at not being recognized. Mr. Snow only sounded mildly amused. "I am an Old One. To be more specific, I am the only remaining of the First Ones. I was recently informed by some of my more," a pause, a sneer, "unusual descendents, the morons who call themselves the Volturi, that a few groups of vampires exist on this continent who refuse to drink humans." For some incomprehensible reason, the way he spoke of their choice made all the Cullens suddenly feel a bit ashamed of themselves.

Mr. Snow's voice sharpened. "Given my plans for the future, I'm afraid I cannot let your lifestyle continue." If Carlisle had been the sort of creature who breathed, he would have been very uncomfortable at this point. Mr. Snow's voice was the sort that demanded all attention and didn't allow for petty things like breathing to get in its way. "I have decided that humans can no longer be allowed their ignorant existence, with my brethren forced to hide in shadows. We are going to take over the human race, and I cannot allow human sympathizers amongst my numbers." At this point, the vacant brunet child chose to speak, and Esme revised her opinion of the girl. She had definitely been dropped on her head a lot as a child.

"Even if you are an Old One, as you claim, there's still only one of you, and a lot of us." The poor girl had the stubborn look on her face that she usually wore when she didn't quite understand something but was determined to plow through her way no matter what. "You can't make us join your war!" At this point, she appeared to finally notice her extremely nervous boyfriend poking her insistently in the shoulder.

"Um, Bella," he said in a carrying whisper, "the Old Ones can command even the Volturi. Maybe we shouldn't antagonize them." Bella huffed, but stopped talking.

Mr. Snow merely watched the conversation unfold with sharp, confident eyes, though his smile had turned into a frown. The man behind him had started forward at the beginning of Bella's speech, but a short wave of Mr. Snow's hand stopped him. Once the two children were done, he spoke again. "You will join me," he said, and his voice was a Command. Every other member of the house knew in that moment with utter certainty that they would join Mr. Snow. His smile returned, and he grinned at them all in satisfaction.

"Well, that was unpleasant," he said, his smile belying his words. "But, we are now in agreement, are we not?" He didn't even wait for the Cullens' blank nods before continuing. "Excellent. In a few weeks time, I shall send one of my acquaintances to meet with you and inform you of your part in the coming war. In the mean time, I suggest that you get back into the habit of drinking humans. I've been told it can be quite an unpleasant experience for the first few days when one has gone long enough without proper food." He rose from the sofa, gestured to his companion, and the two left as abruptly as they had appeared.

The Cullens remained standing in their living room for several long moments, none of them feeling quite able to speak just yet. It was Esme who broke the silence. "I suppose we should do as he said," she muttered, but they all heard her clearly. "No point in resisting, really."

BHBHBHBHBH

Several hours later, Renesmee opened the door to her family home, skipping a bit at the glow that spending time with Jacob always gave her. When she entered the house, however, she stopped dead at the sight that greeted her. "What the hell is going on?" She shrieked. She felt entirely justified at the shrill quality of her voice in that moment. Most anyone, she figured, would be rather disconcerted to come home to their human loving family devouring several very human corpses, while the evidence of a few more previous humans dripped down their previously pristine walls.

Rosalie and Emmett ignored her and continued drinking from the remains of a particularly burly young man, but the rest of her family jumped at her exclamation and turned to face her with slightly guilty expressions. Nessie was especially shocked by the sight of her mother and father participating in this scene. A cough to her left caught Nessie's attention, and she turned to see her grandfather, Carlisle, supporting the head of someone she recognized from the last time she had visited Carlisle at the hospital. Now, said head was distinctly lacking its body (oh wait, there it is, in her grandmother Esme's hands next to Carlisle). Carlisle set the head carefully on the table next to him, and she noticed that he was wearing a pair of his surgical gloves.

"Well," her grandfather began in his careful business voice, "I believe we have something to tell you, Nessie." He turned to her parents. "I shall let you handle the explanation, Edward, as you are her father." Edward looked positively terrified at this pronouncement, but Carlisle had already turned away from him. "Now, Esme, perhaps we should take this upstairs. I believe the body is quite drained of blood by now, but it should still be mostly intact and I've been dying for a decent body to study ever since I read that article last month about certain new advances in heart research. It's an area that often gets far too little attention." Nessie would have said that he and Esme fled from the room, but they were generally too dignified a couple to do such a thing. They did leave very quickly, though.

Once her parents had explained the situation, however, Nessie realized that clearly her entirely family had gone mad. "I'm gonna go stay with Jacob for a bit," she told them, but they didn't hear her as they had already returned to gorging themselves on what Nessie noticed was her schoolmate Jennifer. On second thought, she decided that maybe she should just convince Jacob to get away entirely. Her last thought as she slipped out the door was, 'I wonder if he's ever wanted to be a hermit. In Africa.'