A/N: Kind of my break. I wanted to do something with Red and Inferno.

Title: To Scare the Paranoid

Rating: G

Summary: What happens when you prank the master of paranoia?

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers or any supporting themes revolving around Transformers. I simply own the plot

**Warning: The only warning is a little Cybertronian language. Also, there's suggestions of bondage between a multiple pair of Transformers. If you don't approve of the pairs below...don't read. That's about it so please read, enjoy, and comment :)

Main Pair(s): Red Alert and Inferno & Sunstreaker/Sideswipe and Bluestreak (mentionings of Jazz and Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide, Hound and Mirage, and Optimus and Elita if you squint. Blaster has a bondmate, he's just not mentioned)

The air was crisp with the clouds blanketing the sky over the desert. The sand sat unsettled without the wind whipping low over the land. Bordering the small square of sand and drought, dancing trees swayed with the wind in the high reaches of sky. Their leaves chattering amongst eachother as they watched the moon above them. The stars stared down and tried to reach the cacti with their arms outstretched to their beams. The rocks from the landing lay untouched and the mountain innocent. Tire tracks made their home in the imprinted sand that led away from the large piece of machinery.

The moon and stars wandered their seeking eyes to the light that was lit aglow in the billion year old rock. Dim yellow met with bright white in the entrance where a series of blinking red dots decorated the outside. Every two minutes, the dots moved their position to get a view of the other area around them. The security cameras did this every klick of every orn for 24/7.

The images captured by the cameras out front sent what their stern sensors caught, they sent t the monitor room. The 'Bot who received them, however, was not in the room but rather in the rec. room with Inferno.

Sitting in the rec. room, mechs were showered around the room in the different locations. Ratchet and Ironhide in one corner while talking with Wheeljack and Perceptor. Jazz and Prowl sat with a laughing Blaster. Red Alert himself, was secluded in a circle mesh of mechs. He sat next to a grinning Inferno with his servo wrapped lovingly around his waist on the couch. Mirage sat on the floor leaning against the couch, Hound lay across Mirage's lap where said mech drifted his ghost-like digits across his audios. In chairs sat the Twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Sunstreaker was examining a spec on his forearm plating while Sideswipe sat talking and laughing. Bluestreak sat on the floor and leaned against Sunny's shin guards, laughing much like his bondmate.

'So there we were; Sunshine and I were faced up against Thundercraker and Skywarp. Blue was knocked out and Prowl was tendin' to Jazz. And BAM! Just like that, Sunny and I did our infamous 'Jet Judo'." Sideswipe grinned.

"How many times must I tell you to stop calling me that?" Sunstreaker scolded. He looked over at his twin with fire in his optics. As long as the mechs of the Ark could remember, Sunny hated being called 'Sunshine', 'Sunflower', or even a simple 'Sunny'.

Red Alert sighed and melted into the embrace for comfort and security; his mind was somewhere else. He kept moving his helm from left to right then behind him. When Red wasn't in the monitor room, he freaked out. It was out of his comfort zone to be somewhere other than the monitor room or in the arms of his bondmate. Red's focus wasn't on the Twins story or even the others around him, but merely clouded by his paranoia. Struggling to let loose and relax like Inferno told him, he sighed again and turned back to the story.

"Sides, remember how you pulled that Seeker out of the sky? You 'lassoed him' as the humans would say. Speaking of which, have you heard about the new western movie that's coming out? I heard it was good. Have any of you been to the west before? I mean, I know that we crashed in the desert but I don't think that it would count as the 'wild west'. Yeah it's hot and it doesn't really rain a lot but does it still count-"

"Bluestreak, love," Sunstreaker concluded the soon to be never ending monologue with a single digit to the mouth. He smiled and kissed him on the cheek to convey that he was serious without being straight out blunt and rude. Blue smiled and giggled at his lover. He leaned in to nuzzle his hand, pulling Sunstreaker's palm to his lips and kissing it lightly.

The room began to falter in number as mechs emptied the once flourished room. The busy conversations had dwindled down to a small murmur. The chairs that had become extinct to the wandering optics of those who entered now became vacant with nothing to warm them. Prowl had left to the claim that he had work to finish up. That was a lie; two reasons led to the decree of the truth. One: it was dawning to the late time of 11:30 p.m. Not even Optimus stayed up to finish work. Two: Jazz followed Prowl out soon after with a giddy step in his stride. The crew knew that Prowl was just going to make Jazz whither beneath him and make him squeal. There wasn't a night that Prowl didn't do that. Thank Primus for soundproof offices and quarters.

Blaster left with the intentions of contacting his bondmate. The secret of who he or she was still remained a mystery. Jazz knew who, and if Jazz knew then Prowl and Optimus knew as well. Blaster and Jazz knew of eachothers lives, their intentions, and their trust for eachother never failed; it seemed to grow although.

Ratchet and Ironhide had retired for the night. The two old mechs walked out with a bickering flame flickering back and forth between them. With the cranky personality of the medic and the trigger happy front liner, the personal war between the two would never cease. Wheeljack carried a recharging Perceptor out of the rec. room bridal style. Wheeljack shook his head at his oldest friends and watched as Percy shifted in Recharge. "Guys, woulja stop it? You're wakin' up Percy."

The room was now dormant save for the seven that sat near the couch in the middle of the room. Red Alert had shifted from his stance in Inferno's arms to sitting on his lap; helm resting against his chassis tiredly. Inferno sat nursing on a cube of Energon. Mirage still sat on the floor with a laughing Hound and his digits now intertwined with Hound's. Mirage's optics began to flutter as the plague of recharge began to shed its peaceful darkness to his overworked processor. Sideswipe now sat on the floor with Bluestreak lying between his legs, helm resting against his chassis. Sideswipe leaned against his brothers shin guards, taking Bluestreak s previous position. The Twins were attempting to tell a scary story that they heard from Spike. The story's dark magic seemed to work as Red Alert began to shift and shutter against Inferno.

As if on cue to the mention of a scary story, the lights started to flicker in the rec. room but finally gave out. The only light that was given off was the bright optics of the Autobots and the one emergency light in the back above the Energon dispenser. Red Alert instantly clung to Inferno whose arms held him tightly. There's nothing to be scared of Red; I'm here, don't worry. Inferno cooed over their bond.

"There once was a young woman who lived all alone in her abandoned house. She had recently bought the house from the owner at a cheap price. The former owner said that the house was haunted and that strange things happened. The young woman ignored the warnings and moved in anyway. The first night was like any other night, that strange feeling in an unfamiliar surrounding." Sunstreaker started, obviously enjoying the look of fear in Red Alert's optics.

Sideswipe picked up the story after Sunstreaker. "The woman always felt someone watching her, taking in her every move. She felt like eyes watched her where ever she went in the house, especially in the hallway to her bedroom. The second night that the woman spent in the house, she heard someone walking around downstairs. ...clumpf...clumpf...clumpf... The woman didn't go back to sleep after she heard that."

Red Alert clung tighter to Inferno. He seeme to crawl more urgently into Inferno's embrace. Doing his best to comfort his bondmate, Inferno retracted his arm from across the back of the couch to holding Red Alert to his chassis more closely. It always seemed to be that the lull of Inferno's spark beat calmed down the paranoid security director. The Twins watched as Red Alert withered from the story, only the feeling driving them to continue.

"The next night, it got even worse: the steps began to climb to the top of the stairs. The woman heard them too, each agonizing step approaching closer and closer to her door. ...clumpf...clumpf...clumpf... They stopped, one more step and the footsteps would be in her room. The woman was scared, she pulled the covers up to her chin as she heard the final step come closer to her bed. ...clumpf..."

Red Alert was curled up into a ball on the far side of the couch, as far away from the Twins as possible. Mirage inclined his helm up to the speaker and his bondmate, Hound, was now positioned up on his elbows and looking up with interest; optics wide. Sunstreaker looked down from his spot in the chair to his twin and bondmate. Bluestreak was curled up to Sideswipe's chassis. Sideswipe looked all the listeners in the optic and his arms were wrapped securely and protectively around Blue.

"With one creaky step, the footsteps stopped at the end of the woman's bed. The said woman was curled up with the sheets over her head. To her worse assumption, the covers started to pull easily off her head. And with one final and last tug..." Sideswipe paused.

Everyone held their intakes while their afts were on the edge of their seats.

"BOO!" Sideswipe yelled. Red Alert jumped and almost knocked the whole couch over. Mirage had jumped into Hound's unwitting arms, causing Hound to scream in surprise. Bluestreak jumped and crawled closer into Sideswipe's arms, yelling with surprise. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, having heard the story before and telling it, busted out laughing at the groups expression.

"You shoulda saw your faceplates!" Sunstreaker bursted.

"Pit-spawned slaggers," Mirage mumbled while brushing off the dirt from sitting on the floor. Mirage wasn't somebot to normally laugh at the embarrassment that happened to him, but a bot to find it insulting when others laughed. Some of the crew on the Ark wondered how Hound could put up with somebot like that. "Opposites attract" he'd say.

"Aww c'mon 'Raj, you gotta admit, that was good." Hound said with giggles terrorizing his sentence. He gripped Mirage's upper arm and pulled him along to the exit with him; all the while listening to Mirage rant about how it wasn't funny.

"Typical Tower's mech," Sunstreaker snorted.

Red Alert walked down the corridor to his quarters. He walked alone while Inferno stayed in the rec. room talking to the Twins. The Twins found Red's reaction amusing, Red Alert himself, did not. Normally, Red didn't mind a scary story or two; it was when they were told in the dark that they started to play with his paranoia. The added darkness to the room had only increased his paranoia to frenzy while walking down the dark hall.

Red Alert's paranoia spiked as it recalled the events of the story: footsteps following behind him, the feeling of someone watching you, and the paralyzing fear of that something getting you when you least expected it. Expect the unexpected. That's what Optimus had told him when he had first arrived on Earth with his bondmate, Inferno. If Red Alert recalled correctly, Elita One was the one who told Optimus who told him.

Red Alert ignored the feeling of his paranoia fritzing. He wasn't going to have a panic attack in the middle of the hallway when there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. There wasn't anything to be afraid of...right? However, the pair of optics watching the 'Bot that entered into their domain had something else to say.

Red Alert paused at the initial feeling of someone watching him as he passed. Hearing an eerie giggle escape behind him, Red turned around to see who was following his now shivering frame. There was no one there, not even a simple whisper or echo from a past frame there. The silence was deafening, causing Red's spark to skip a beat and blue energy to fritz over his helm. His fear ghosted through his bond with Inferno, hoping for the safety of his love and arms. Inferno's reassurance seeped through as his response. With the reassuring feeling, the paranoia had eased back a little but not completely.

The silence grew on and it became too quiet for the security director. Brushing off the feeling and continuing on down the hall to his quarters. Nanoklicks later and the silence drew on but soon had been interrupted by the faint footsteps of a stranger. By Primus, the story is happening all over again!

Red Alert's helm let out a small fritz of blue energy from his helm. Just as quickly as it had came, it disappeared; leaving Red to grip his helm with the initial and utter feeling that it would fritz again. Red Alert turned alarmingly to face behind him. The darkness was the only thing that followed him, leaving no trace of life. Turning around to head back down his route, Red Alert continued to walk. Hopefully Inferno will-

"BOO!" Two loud yells screamed in his audios while servos snatched his shoulder plating.

"BY PRIMUS!" Red shrieked. Just as he had feared, the fritz had come back but with a friend: the darkness penetrating his consciousness and core processor. Red Alert's helm released a final burst of blue energy from his helm, the only energy that ever went off while in a panic attack. The energy had wiped the last of Red's energy from his body, leaving the thrumming and scared spark of Red Alert beating inside the paralyzed frame.

The light above was bright, almost too bright. The light that was being emanated from the ceiling caused the optics to power down. The faint beat of a spark monitor echoed through the room. Orange-gold painted the metal ceiling with the added decor of stalactites. The walls echoed the blinding light from the ceiling as the 'Bot on the medical berth stirred.

Ratchet filled out the report of a prank gone wrong, causing Red Alert to panic and short out his processor. No doubt the Twins. Ratchet looked up to see Inferno recharging beside a stirring Red Alert. Inferno's digits interlaced with Red's, to pry the digits apart would cause an alarming wake up call to the front liner.

Ratchet set down the report and walked out to set a reassuring hand on Inferno's shoulder. The touch was light but caused Inferno to open his optics to catch anything that might've happened. Dull groggy blue optics peered up at the CMO awaiting an answer.

"Inferno, he's going to be fine. Just a little processor crash that's all; happens all the time to Prowl thanks to Jazz."

"That's not tha thing I'm worried 'bout Ratch', it's how he'll react when he wakes up. There's a reason why he doesn't listen ta scary stories."

"His paranoia?" Ratchet guessed; though he was sure that that was the answer that Inferno was searching for.

"Yeah, last time he was told a scary story he didn't recharge for a week. If Red don't sleep, he goes crazy."

"He already is." Ratchet drawled.

"That too; and if he goes crazy, I go crazy."

"Don't worry Inferno, there's nothing to worry about. If you go crazy, then there really isn't a change at all to worry about." Ratchet chuckled.

"Thanks, Ratch- Hey!"