Numb

Disclaimer: If I owned Criminal Minds, I'd be a happy camper, but I don't. CBS does.

Summary: Emily really did die at the hands of Ian Doyle, affecting those around her. How do they cope, and can they survive without her.

Timeline: Post 'Lauren' alternate timeline, disregard 'It Takes A Village' and Haley never died either.

A/N: I posted this a long time ago, but it was so riddle with mistakes that I took it down to fix it. Will be four chapters. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

Jean de La Fontaine said, "Death never takes the wise man by surprise; He is always ready to go."

Reid stood at the front door to the quaint and warm looking little house continuing a repetitive knock. Only there was no answer.

"JJ?" Reid called out "Anyone home?"

Sighing internally the young profiler knocked again and was surprised by the sight by the sight before him.

The blonde agent was a mess. Hair in disarray, clad in her pajamas, and worse of all she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Why are you still in bed?" Reid asked.

The blonde opened the door, allowing him entrance, "What time is it?"

"A little after three" Reid asked, "Have you been in bed all day?"

"Maybe I didn't feel like waking up today, Spence." JJ said walking away from the front door and heading into the kitchen.

"JJ?" Reid said "It's been over two months since Emily's..."

The blonde quickly turned around, giving him a sharp look one that stunned him. As caring and loving as she was, she never looked at him with pure contempt or anger.

"Do not even think of finishing that sentence Reid." she threatened him.

"JJ?" Reid asked, startled "What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" JJ repeated "Oh I don't know, Emily's dead. Hotch disappeared right after the funeral and quit the BAU. You're walking around, basically acting like some emotionless robot and you ask what's wrong?"

The blonde angrily stormed passed him towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Leave Garcia's care package on the table and go." she called out.

Reid stared down the hall puzzled by her behavior, shrugging his shoulders he set the package on the table leaving.

Standing in front of the mirror, the blonde looked back at the reflection, not recognizing this new person before her. One that existed in a world without her best friend.

Opening her medicine cabinet JJ pulled out a the tranquilizers that Will got her doctor to prescribe for her and took a handful swallowing them without any water.

JJ walked out of the bathroom got dressed and pulled out the file she had rereading it.

Pulling out her cell phone she dialed the one person she could count on. The only person who knew just exactly how she felt.

"It's me" JJ said "We need to talk in person."

JJ listened to the reply and said "I'll be there."

JJ walked out of her house and passed Will who was carrying Henry.

"Where are you going?" Will asked, perplexed by her sudden change of behavior.

"Out" JJ

"Have you ate anything?" Will asked.

"Not hungry." JJ said getting into the car leaving her fiancee and son standing there.

Hotch stood in the backroom of the bar he worked at and placed his cell phone down.

Staring at his reflection, all he could see looking back at him was the face of an angry man. One who couldn't move forward or go back.

All he could think about was the last time he saw her. Emily.

Lying on the floor of a dirty warehouse, gasping for breath while Morgan held her hand begging her to stay with him.

'Let me go' she whispered.

He couldn't grieve or mourn. He was stuck in the anger stage.

Glaring back at the mirror he couldn't think of anything but that moment.

His fist collided with the mirror shattering the glass leaving him with torn flesh and blood dripping from the open cuts. But he couldn't feel the pain, only anger.

He hated himself for not saving her, for her having to leave to save all of them. Hated himself for not telling her he loved her.

He hated Ian Doyle for taking her away from him, he hated the BAU for not catching him, and he hated his friend for getting there fast enough to save her.

Hotch was pulled out of his thoughts by a knock on his door.

"Aaron?" a voice called "Aaron it's me."

Wrapping his aching hand in a bandana he opened the door, not surprised by the visitor on the other side. Of course it'd be him.

"Aaron?" Dave said.

"How'd you find me?" he asked.

"Garcia sent us over with a care package for you" Dave said. "Morgan's out at the bar if you want to see him."

"Why would I want to see him?" Hotch asked not missing the older man's startled look.

"You still blame him, don't you?" Dave asked "Aaron, it's not Morgan's fault that Doyle killed her."

Hotch turned his back on the older man, changing his shirt. He chose instead to ignore his longtime friend who was placing the care package down on the desk.

"Aaron, we all miss her too." Dave told him, extending the olive branch "We're all worried about you."

"Why?" Hotch asked, looking over at him "I'm fine."

Dave raised an eyebrow at that, looking at the bandaged hand "What happen to your hand?"

The former Unit Chief looked at his hand, shrugging, "I'll live."

Picking up his coat, he walked passed Dave ignoring the concerned look on the older man's face.

But that didn't deter him from following the man out of the small dank room.

"When's the last time you even saw Jack?" he asked "Haley said you missed your last three weekends with him?"

Pausing before he reached the back exit, Hotch turned "I don't know."

Dave saw a look flash in his younger friend's eyes before the mask came back into place and Hotch left the bar ignoring Morgan completely.

Dave turned when Morgan came up to him both watched as their former team leader drove off in a beat up old truck.

They felt like they were losing everyone left and right.

Emily was dead. JJ was a walking zombie. Hotch was gone and Reid he was a walking shell.

The two profilers headed out towards their own car, bound and determined to save their remaining friends.

Losing Emily was bad enough, but they weren't going to watch the remaining members of their team sink into the dark hole that they all felt with her absence.

"Where is the good in goodbye?" Meredith Wilson

To Be Continued...

Be on the look out for the other chapters, I'm going to be deleting, re-editing and re-posting some of my older stories so just be aware.

Don't forget to leave a review.