Hello again, pandas! I have made my first one-shot! I think it will shock you. It may even HORRIFY you! Well, I can't judge your emotions. Bad brain! I told you not to judge people's emotions!

The day was normal.

Until he said that statement.

Sector V was just chillin' watching TV, when Numbuh 4 said the weirdest thing.

A thing no one expected him to say.

"Hey guys?" he asked.

Everyone turned to him.

"Let's face it," he said, "English is a crazy language."

Everyone raised their eyebrows at him.

"How?" Kuki asked.

"There's no EGG in EGGPLANT nor HAM in HAMBURGER; neither APPLE nor PINE in PINEAPPLE. ENGLISH MUFFINS weren't invented in ENGLAND. QUICKSAND can work SLOWLY, BOXING RINGS are SQUARE, and a GUINEA PIG is neither from GUINEA nor is it a PIG.

"And why is it WRITERS WRITE but FINGERS don't FING, GROCERS don't GROCE, and HAMMERS don't HAM? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make AMENDS but not one AMEND? If TEACHERS TAUGHT, why don't PREACHERS PRAUGHT? If a VEGETARIAN eats VEGETABLES, what does a HUMANITARIAN eat?

"In what other language do people RECITE at a PLAY and PLAY at a RECITAL? We SHIP BY TRUCK but SEND CARGO BY SHIP. We have NOSES THAT RUN and FEET THAT SMELL. We PARK IN A DRIVEWAY and DRIVE IN A PARKWAY. And how can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?

"You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your HOUSE can BURN UP as it BURNS DOWN, in which you FILL UP a form by FILLING IT OUT, and in which an ALARM goes OFF by going ON.

"And, in closing, if Father is POP, how come Mother's not MOP?"

Everyone just stared at him.

They had no idea how to respond to that.

But Kuki did.

"Numbuh 4, what's 2+2?"

"PIZZA!" he said.

They all smiled.

And the universe was balanced.

Well, well, well. Not bad for my first one-shot, was it? Personaly, I thought it was pretty funny, especially the ending.

Hey, you guys should watch out. My pet llama, Carl, escaped from his pen last night. If you're not careful, he will stab you 37 times and eat your hands.

*Carl: "Hannnnnnds…."*

Bad Carl!