The Things Left Unsaid

Summary: Maura told Jane she loves her and that she doesn't want to risk their friendship. What Maura doesn't say is that she isn't referring to Tommy. If only Maura knew that Jane has been struggling with feelings too.

Disclaimer: This work is intended as a piece of fiction. I do not own any of the Rizzoli & Isles characters, plot, etc. No copy write infringement intended.

Author's Note: This story is rated M for later chapters. It takes place halfway through season two and may or may not include future episodes such as the season two finale. It does/will contain graphic sexual content between two female characters. If this is not to your liking, you need not continue reading.

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Chapter 1 – Acting on Impulse

Yet again Maura found herself at Jane's apartment, the night getting late. They were in the kitchen. Jane had just finished making herself a grilled cheese when Maura took out the bottle of wine Tommy had given her.

Despite Jane's reluctance to have such a superb wine with such a simple, greasy dinner, Maura picked up the corkscrew. Jane approached the counter.

"Listen…" Jane said with resignation.

Maura frowned at her, but avoided her eyes, busying herself with opening the wine bottle. She could tell by the change in Jane's voice and her body language that she had something to get off her chest.

"I don't want to stand in the way of a great romance. Okay?" Jane continued.

Maura felt her heart palpitate. What great romance? The only romance Maura wanted she would never have, because she couldn't dare risk it. There was no way Jane was talking about that.

"What do you mean?" she said, looking at Jane inquisitively.

"You and Tommy." Jane said, wondering for a split second who else Maura could think she meant. She had been trying to get used to the idea of Maura seeing her brother. Jane's face curled up with distaste as an image of her brother kissing Maura popped into her brain. "Clearly, opposites attract."

"It's an evolutionary strategy to ensure healthy reproduction." Maura stated matter-of-factly. But what was really a strategy—a survival strategy—was Maura's defense mechanism. She hid behind her expansive knowledge of science factoids whenever the situation was unfamiliar or, as in this case, uncomfortable. Still, Maura managed a smile, already guessing as to the response her comment would elicit from the tall brunette.

"Why do you got to go straight to breeding?" Jane said with irritation, "Alright? With my brother?"

Maura laughed lightly. "Look," she said taking a breath, forcing herself to say only what was necessary, what Jane could handle, "I like Tommy. A lot. But I love you. And I hate it when you hate me, so I don't want to do anything to compromise our friendship."

And what she said was true. She never wanted to risk her friendship with Jane ever again, for any reason, no matter how troubling. Images of that week flashed through Maura's mind as she looked up at the detective with a determined expression.

The way Jane had looked at her when she found out what Maura had been hiding about Tommy being a suspect. The stab in her heart at the sound of Jane's angry, disbelieving voice. The pain and betrayal so visible in her warm, coffee brown eyes. She never wanted to experience anything like that ever again. It didn't matter how much Maura panged to express to Jane all that she was feeling, all that she was struggling with. She could never risk losing her as a friend, no matter how much Jane made her heart flutter and her stomach fill with butterflies.

But Maura shook those thoughts from her mind. She had to focus on rebuilding their friendship. It was taking a lot of work, but they had almost returned to their normal amount of openness and playfulness.

Jane looked at her with a goofy smile, "Good, because I hate it when I have to hate you."

Jane had wanted to say, 'I love you too,' but for some reason the words seemed too strong, too intimate. That wasn't to say that she didn't love Maura, because Jane surely loved her best friend more than anyone else in the world. But that was just the problem, ever since Maura had told her about Ian being the love of her life, Jane had started to feel strange whenever the topic of love came up.

Jane had held Maura in her arms that night, trying to soothe her quiet sobs. But as she did Jane slowly became aware of the ache in her chest. Maura's words rolled around in Jane's brain, "love of my life." She wondered what that feeling was that was festering deep in her gut. Could that be jealousy?

Jane had pushed those worried thoughts into the back of her mind. But the questions had remained lurking in the edges of her consciousness ever since. And now, months later, when she heard the words, "I love you" she felt oddly resistant to using them in return, just in case her words ended up meaning more than she could understand.

Still, Jane was pleased to have her friend back. She had missed being open with her, being close to her. And for now, she would ignore the nagging voice in her head that wanted to know why.

They both giggled, Maura pouring them each a glass of wine. "Sip it slowly." Maura said softly. She watched Jane closely as she brought the glass to her thin lips. An appreciative smile spread across Maura's lips as she watched her friend.

But then Jane looked up at her. The grimace on her face gave Maura the distinct impression that Jane was just about to vomit. Maura watched in astonishment as Jane spit the wine directly back into the glass.

Jane's eyes were wide as she wiped her mouth. "How much was this?" she said with a look of disgust.

"Six-hundred and twenty five dollars—did you just spit out a '94 chateau?" Maura said looking at her incredulously.

Jane made a mocking sound at her, wishing she could get the acrid taste from her mouth. She took the bottle from Maura, looking at it in shock, "Yes. My—gah—some smart shopper Tommy is! Why did he waste a months rent on a bottle of rancid vinegar and old garlic?" She put her hand to her sternum, willing her food not to come back up.

"No," Maura said, swirling her glass, "it just needs to breathe and release its tannins."

"Really?" Jane said, leaning forward on the counter, watching expectantly as Maura took a sip.

For a moment, Maura maintained a straight face as the red wine slipped into her mouth. As she swallowed her lips puckered and her face contorted. She made a high-pitched objection, frowning and shaking her head.

"Yeah." Jane said, taking the wine bottle from the counter.

"Ew!" Maura responded. "You might be right."

"Mm hm…" Jane said pouring the wine carefully back into the bottle.

"What are you doing?" Maura said with a frown.

"I'm going to pour it back in the bottle so Tommy can take it back."

"They're not going to take it back!"

"Oh, they'll take it back." Jane said with a resolute expression.

Maura laughed. She had dearly missed these moments with the detective. Jane had a way of making everything seem light and carefree. And her smile, she missed her wide, toothy smile and the sound of her laugh, an honest, guttural laugh that made Maura's stomach do summersaults. The way Jane's deep russet colored eyes sparkled when she smiled made it nearly impossible for Maura to look away.

Maura blinked at her friend dazedly, vaguely aware that she was saying something about her grilled cheese sandwich. Maura didn't mean to ignore her, but she found herself lost in an exploration of the tanned, defined features of Jane's face. The harder she tried to look away, the more she didn't want to. Her eyes settled on Jane's pale lips.

"Hey, Maur, you okay?" Jane said, frowning at her. She shifted uncomfortably, wondering if Maura was staring at her or through her.

"Huh?" Maura said, shaking her head slightly and blinking at her. "Oh! Yeah, I'm fine, just tired I guess."

"It is getting late." Jane said, looking at the clock on the microwave, it was nearly eleven. Though it was Friday, Jane figured Maura would be getting up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, just like any other day.

Jane went to the fridge to grab a beer to go with her grilled cheese. She was sure she was going to get a wise crack from Maura about her choice of a late-night snack, but Maura said nothing as Jane popped open the bottle and returned to the counter.

"Maybe you should get some rest, it's been a long week." Jane said, taking a sip of the cool, amber liquid. She didn't really want Maura to leave, but Jane was worried about her. Maura had been acting strangely the past couple months. It seemed as if something was bothering the doctor, but Jane had not had the courage to bring it up. Ever since Ian had flitted in and back out of Maura's life, Jane worried about what else Maura might be hiding from her. Jane was concerned for her friend and she wished Maura would be more open with her.

"It has been a long week." Maura confirmed with a sigh. She glanced at Jane briefly, noticing the beer for the first time, "You know, you really have horrible eating habits."

"Now that's the Maura Isles I know and love." Jane quipped. Shit. Jane rebuked herself harshly, Stop blushing, it's just an expression! There that word was again, why did it seem so horribly intimate all of a sudden?

Jane quickly took a bite into her sandwich, hoping to distract Maura's attention away from her cheeks by chomping on her food enthusiastically. "What?" Jane said indignantly through a mouth full of greasy cheese and bread. "I'm hungry."

Maura was looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a judgmental expression. "You know, eating too quickly causes the swallowing of air leading to excessive gas-"

"Ew, Maura!" Jane said, dropping her sandwich back down on her plate. Thankfully, her little ploy had worked, unfortunately it had lead to Jane losing her appetite.

"What?" Maura said, innocently. Honestly, she did not understand how Jane could be so upset by normal bodily functions.

Jane looked at her friend quietly for a moment. She wondered for a moment why they were such good friends anyway. Sometimes, the two of them seemed to be such opposites. Other times, Jane thought, the two of them fit perfectly together, like yin and yang.

Jane smiled at this thought. Then she looked up at Maura, "Well, you at least going to have a beer or something?" She turned to grab one from the fridge.

"Well…" Maura said, reaching out for the beer instinctively. Her brain was telling her no, but her heart was telling her yes. She stared at Jane with a half smile, as if stuck between two conflicting thoughts. All she wanted was to be with Jane, but she wasn't sure if doing so would be a good idea.

The last night they had spent together, Maura had started to become increasingly uncomfortable with the lack of distance between them. Normally, throughout the evening they would somehow come closer and closer, starting out with them sitting on each end of the couch watching a movie, to them snuggled together, asleep, on one of their beds. In the beginning, Maura had enjoyed these gestures of intimacy, but lately she had become uncomfortable with the way they were making her feel.

Last week, noticing her heart fluttering wildly as Jane sat next to her, their thighs touching lightly, Maura had restrained herself from resting her head on Jane's shoulder. But Jane, who had her arm in its customary place behind Maura, had scooted closer to her, causing Maura's honey colored curls to fall unto Jane's t-shirt.

Maura had gulped as her glance dipped down to Jane's breasts. Jane let out a contented sigh as she squeezed lightly on Maura's arm. Maura tried to oblige Jane's obvious request for their usual movie-watching cuddle, but as she placed her head on Jane's shoulder Maura could think of nothing more than Jane's thumb affectionately rubbing on her left arm. Finally, unable to bear it anymore, Maura had suddenly stood up and mumbled something about using the restroom.

But, considering Jane had come over to her house that evening, there was no running away from her. Instead, she went to her bedroom to get into her nightgown. And nearly half-an-hour later she still had not left the master bedroom. Instead, she was pacing back and forth, the sound of the movie leaking in from the living room through the cracked door.

Maura had just sat down on her bed with frustration when the sound quieted from the surround-sound entertainment system. "Maur," Jane called out, "you okay?"

Maura scrunched her eyes closed. The movie was probably over and now Jane was wondering where she had went. She started to panic. She did not want Jane to come looking for her, she had no reasonable explanation to give her. All she knew was that she could not muster up the courage to ask Jane to leave.

The door creaked slightly as Jane peeked into the master bedroom. "You asleep, Maura?" Jane whispered.

Maura had her eyes closed, she was sprawled with her back on the bed. She was in her pajamas but the bed was still made beneath her. Jane frowned, that was unusual for Maura. She had wondered if the honey blond had been feeling okay, she had been acting very strangely while they were watching the movie, and it was unlike Maura to head to bed without offering her the guest room before turning in.

Jane approached the bed slowly, placing her steps carefully as to avoid waking up the doctor unnecessarily. She peered down at Maura curiously. If she was asleep, then she was not having a good time of it, because her face was tense and her brow slightly furrowed.

"Maur?" Jane said softly, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Maura said, opening her eyes but avoiding Jane's. She turned over, her back to the brunette, "I'm just tired."

"You've been acting strangely." Jane said, placing a hand on Maura's arm in a comforting gesture, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, Jane, I'm fine." Maura said flatly, staring at the opposite wall, trying not to let her voice falter.

"Are you upset about Ian?" Jane said, taking a wild stab in the dark. Perhaps, Maura was still upset over him leaving. Jane hadn't wanted to bring it up since that night, but Jane was concerned for her friend, she was clearly struggling with something.

"No!" Maura said, shrugging Jane's hand from her shoulder. She had not intended to sound so hostile, but the thought of Ian had sent a stabbing pain into her heart. Yes, she still loved him, but she had tried not to think about him since he left—it hurt too much. Instead, she had been focusing her attentions on all of her conflicting emotions for the detective. Frustratingly, that had only lead to more trouble.

"Please, talk to me." Jane said in a pleading voice, which was clearly filled with pain as well. "You're my best friend, Maur. You can tell me anything."

Maura was silent for a moment. For half a second she thought of telling Jane about all the feelings rushing around inside her. How all she could think about was being near to her, how she thought about touching her, kissing her, how she longed to know if Jane ever felt the same impulses. But when she turned and looked Jane in the eyes she could not make herself do it. Maura could not risk ever losing the way that Jane looked at her like she did at that very moment, her eyes so full of love and concern.

"I'm sorry." Maura whispered, fighting back tears.

"Shh…" Jane said, lying down beside her, wrapping her arms around Maura comfortingly, "…it's okay."

They laid like that for a while in silence. Maura nestled her back into Jane, letting Jane's hand fall to her waist. She felt Jane's breath on the back of her neck, slow and steady. She closed her eyes and tried to savor the moment, tried to prevent her mind from wandering into fantasy, to just let herself enjoy this moment beside her best friend.

"Jane?" Maura had said after a deep inhale of breath.

"Yeah, Maur?" the brunette said, lifting her head off the pillow.

"Could we just… stay here…like this?" Maura said, feeling Jane's hand rubbing her arm soothingly.

"Yeah," Jane had said, laying her head back down on the pillow and pulling her body closer to Maura, hugging her from behind, "of course."

Jane awoke Maura from her reverie with that question again, "You okay, Maur?"

Maura looked down at the open bottle of beer in her hand. She had not even taken a sip. Jane, on the other hand, had finished hers and grabbed a second. Her grilled cheese lay unfinished on the plate on the counter. She was too concerned with Maura to bother finishing it.

She watched Maura carefully. Where had the joyful, laughing Maura gone? The honey blond suddenly looked serious, almost sorrowful. Jane thought back to the other night, wondering if Maura would ever tell her why she had fallen asleep crying.

Not that the doctor had been weeping when Jane held her, but she had sensed Maura's distress, and she had seen Maura's eyes water. She had sniffled some, wiping her eyes carefully, as to not bring attention to herself. But Jane had noticed, and it had left her heartbroken, wishing she knew how to console her friend.

Her crying had soon ceased, however, as her breathing slowed and Maura quickly fell asleep in her arms. Jane had spent a long part of that night staring at the back of Maura's neck, wondering what was coming over her. Lately, she had been feeling a strange magnetism calling her nearer to the doctor whenever they were close, and alone.

It was that magnetism that caused Jane to scoot around the counter and stand in front of Maura, looking at her facial features closely. She wished she could read Maura as well as she could read a perp, maybe then she would have some inkling as to what was bothering her. But the doctor's was not a perp, and her emotions were unreadable, as jumbled and complex as her fascinating mind.

Jane rubbed Maura's arms comfortingly, wishing her friend would speak. She remained patient, however, because she knew that Maura was simply searching for the words.

"Jane, I…" Maura said, finally looking her best friend in the eyes. She owed Jane an explanation, she had waited patiently for nearly a week, but what could she tell her?

For a fleeting moment she wondered if the look in Jane's eyes could possibly be that of love—not just friendly love but something deeper, something far more intense. She shook her head, chasing those thoughts from her mind. She swallowed, trying to fight the urge to lean forward and touch the lips she found her eyes glued to.

Jane frowned at her friend, watching the internal battle play out in her hazel eyes. Jane watched as her gaze kept flicking down. Was she staring at her lips? The detective's heart faltered, her breath catching. She suddenly became aware of the doctor's body heat radiating toward her, the sweet smell of her perfume. Jane felt Maura shiver under her hands, still at her shoulders. Maura's honey colored hair tickled at Jane's fingers.

"Yes?" Jane said breathlessly, swallowing nervously. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears. Her eyes darted to Maura's lips, suddenly curious what they might taste like.

Did I just lick my lips? Jane thought frantically as she felt her finger curl into Maura's soft, silky hair. Damn, Maura, what are you doing to me?

Maura could not bear the aching in her heart. She desperately longed to just blurt it out, just spill her guts right then and there. I love you! Maura screamed in her head, Can't you see that? Don't you know that I love you—that I'm in love with you!

Then Maura saw Jane look down at her lips and lick her own. No! She had just imagined it, she told herself. Jane did not, could not, feel the same for her. Jane was not comfortable with her sexuality like Maura was. Jane was attracted to men. She had never shown any interest in Maura, or any woman for that matter.

Jane's hand wandered to Maura's neck, the tips of her fingers caressing the muscles running up from Maura's collarbone to her jawline. Jane's eyes were watching her hand with an almost startled expression on her face, as if her body was moving of its own accord and she was powerless to stop it. The detective breathed in quiet gasps, as if having to consciously will her lungs to function.

Finally, Jane's eyes met Maura's. The doctor shivered at the look in those dark brown eyes, a look of desire. No! Maura thought, stepping back suddenly. She was surely going mad. Her fantasies were spilling into her waking moments.

Maura quickly turned to leave. She could stand to be under Jane's gaze no longer, not without saying—or rather doing—something she would most likely regret moments later. No matter how much she wanted to, she could not risk their friendship for any reason.

But Jane caught her by the hand. The detective spun her around dizzyingly fast. Maura stumbled forward slightly. Jane felt her hand slip behind the doctor's back, not to catch her, but to pull her closer. She caught Maura's parted mouth with her own, muffling a small gasp from the honey blond.

Every muscle in Maura's body relaxed as Jane wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling Maura taut against her muscular body. For a brief moment she let herself believe that the moment was real, that Jane's tongue on her lips was not simply part of yet another wet dream, the detective really did step forward, causing Maura to bump onto the counter behind her.

Suddenly, Maura broke the kiss, dropping her hands from where they had pulled yearningly at Jane's neck. She looked up at her friend with her eyes wide, her mouth open in shock. Maura blinked, wandering if she really had the ability to imagine something so vividly.

Jane looked at her with just as much shock. She stepped back, releasing Maura's waist. Her mouth moved, but nothing came out at first. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest. What had she just done? Where did that come from?

(to be continued)