Explanation time again. Sorry about that. I had a bunch of reasons to fake-end the fiction at Chapter Four, one of which was being suddenly inundated with academic and social issues that I didn't really handle dealing with very well. I figured I should have let this little story of mine fall to the wayside. But that didn't work out. At all. So, thanks to an innate feeling of immense guilt, an unreasonably fallible sense of priority, and not wanting to let down Unwatered, I've got to finish this, even though I ended it just a week ago. I may or may not get some flak for this in real life.

ALSO AFTER SCHOOL STARTED I'VE BEEN WORKIN' ON A WEBCOMIC

IT'LL KICK ASSES UNLIKE THIS

After he was done systematically placing compound fractures in every bone in Soldier's body, Heavy picked up and tossed Soldier into the distance. Soldier wished he hadn't defiled Heavy's story like that. He also wished he hadn't put his Idiot Box on. Now he had been issued what seemed to be a GPS system and sent out to find animals and jewelery, lest he face the wrath of the morbidly obese scientist. He knew what lard-bucket rage was like. It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was as ugly as the rocket launcher he had to fashion out of scraps back at Robotnik's base. He had forgotten to ask for weapons. The thing was rickety, inaccurate, and wasn't actually semi-automatic, but this Beggar's Bazooka would have to do for the time being. Soldier began to rocket jump back towards civilization.

The Tornado was busted. Completely, thoroughly, inexplicably, irreparably trashed. Just out of the blue, it had collapsed on itself. Which meant that the team's plot against the mad scientist was delayed until Engineer and Tails could build another plane. Which meant that Heavy and Scout were free to do whatever they wanted. Which meant they were about to embark on a hat quest.

"Scout, we are about to embark on hat quest," Heavy hollered. "We will find hats and other valuable objects!"

"And valuable hats!" Scout yelled back. They immediately got to work preparing for the greatest hat journey they had ever had the joy of embarking on. Scout packed two shotguns and ammunition. Heavy packed a supply of his sandviches. Scout grabbed his good old baseball cap. Heavy , perplexingly, grew hair, which he promptly combed into his signature Hound Dog style. Upon further inquiry from the rest of the team on how and why he did this, he answered, "I cannot find toupee." With that, the dynamically dysfunctional duo romped off into the distance, for they actually had no grasp on the concept of hat collecting, and simply ran wherever they desired.

Knuckles the Echidna had stayed away from Sonic's new pals for the time being, because their rabble rousing, rampaging, and general "partying" made Knuckles genuinely frightened for everyone's mental and physical health. Since Sonic and Tails were constantly around these people, Knuckles had simply went home to Angel Island. Unfortunately for him, the party had come to his doorstep. Or, more specifically, the Master Emerald.

"What are you two doing around the Master Emerald?!" Knuckles had found the two Teufortians moments before they tried filching the Emerald. "Do you two even know what that is?!"

"We know what we are doing," the Heavy calmly "explained". "We are trained professionals."

"I thought our profession was killin' dudes," Scout said, "Not fantasy-land heists!" Therein lied the true genius of Scout and Heavy.

"Lay a finger on that thing, and I'll kill you both," growled Knuckles.

"Well, Scout, good thing it is entire hands we are using!" Chortled Heavy, as he hoisted the Emerald, pedestal and all, and clambered off. Knuckles, who had previously never known a man to match his strength, did little but gawk at the Russkie running away with the sole object he existed to protect.

Luckily for our incompetent guardian, Soldier made a ten-point landing... on Heavy's head.

"This Emerald is mine! Or rather, my employer's!" Soldier shouted, lifting HEAVY up, EMERALD, PEDESTAL, and ALL. At this point, Knuckles began to reconsider the state of his mental health. It was all he could do to avoid breaking down in tears as Scout ran off after the fleeing Soldier.

"C'mon, man, what are you doing?" Scout yelled. He had every reason to yell. He had been the first to know of Soldier's survival, and was the first to know of his betrayal. He was also the first to fall after him from a floating island high up in the sky, but that was a story for another time. "Ain't you supposed to be helping us go home?"

"Negatory, little man. This is what will score us the funds necessary to go home!"

"No, it wont!"

"And who says that? This Robot-Nick man had all sorts of gadgets!"

"Everything's fucking free! There's so little economic development it ain't even funny!"

"Oh. Tell you what I'll do, then, Scout. Begin planning a secret rebellion against Robot-Nick and his cold, metal empire!"

"He doesn't have one!"

"That's what he's telling you! Always stay on your toes!"

"And in your case, Soldier, off of the Kritzkreig!" Scout didn't want to take this any further. "Where the hell are you even going?"

"Taking a certain hedgehog's love interest hostage. It is guaranteed to send him into our hands!"

And lo and behold, they had fallen precisely and unrealistically to the modest home of Amy Rose. As they kicked down the door, they were instead greeted by a familiar figure... a red asbestos suit. The final member of the trio offensive. Soldier dropped Heavy on the floorboards. The Master Emerald landed with a sickening sound of crushed bone.

"What?! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?" Soldier shrieked, "I don't remember you coming with us!"

"I don't remember you coming with us either," Scout piped in. But that wasn't the point.

Slowly, the firesuited enigma reached for the seal of its mask. It deftly released the holds and lifted the mask off for the first time the other mercenaries had ever seen. The mask dropped to the floor, revealing pink, drooping quills.

"I have a question of my own!" Amy Rose, the Pyro, exclaimed. "How the fuck did you two follow me home?"