AN: Ok, I know many of you will be wandering why the previous chapter was so short, this is because I tried to convey the Brutality and suddenness of losing a loved one. In the following Epilogue I hope to flesh the events out through memory and retrospect, as I have found in my own grieving process it is easier to see more when you look back than it is in the moment. Hope that explains my lack of description/detail. :)

In Retrospect...

The graveyard lay quiet beneath the stars, the nearby church silent and its windows dark. Night fell gracefully over the scene like a shroud, covering the stones old and new in peaceful darkness. Further in the village there was a sudden roar of chatter as someone left the only pub, laughter echoed through the air shattering the peace before dying away once again. In the shadows of the bushes and tangled trees a cat moved stealthily through the undergrowth, it turned its lamp-like eyes towards the church where a soft pop revealed two figures as the appeared from no-where. As they moved forward the cat streaked off into the distance.

"Lumos." The soft whisper drifted through the air, bourn upon the gentle summer breeze.

"This way..." The slighter member of the group led the way wandering through the stones and odd tree until they halted before a large stone made of white marble, it was so pale it glimmered in the dark, almost glittering in the light from the men's wands.

Sirius Black gazed down upon the stone beneath which lay his best friend and his long dead wife. He read the inscription and felt the familiar pang of grief and regret, the dirt was covered in grass but he could clearly remember watching them re-dig the grave and place the body inside. It was a terrifying memory, surrounding a grave side with only a few others and knowing in his heart that he would never see his best friend, his lover again. As he gazed at the name etched into the stone his heart clenched and his eyes burned...

"Today we gather to lay to rest a great man." The wizened man spoke in a dry voice as the wind drifted through the trees, making them rustle and creak, the dark clad figures who stood around the yawning grave were silent. Sirius watched with a terrible numb detachment as the coffin bearing the corpse of James Potter lay beside the wound in the earth. "...He died once to protect his most beloved son from what he thought was almost certain death, only to rise again and finally be struck down for good. We will never the less remember James Potter for the large role he has played in the fate of the Wizarding world..." As the man droned on Sirius couldn't help but feel that the man was speaking nonsense, he didn't know James, he wasn't talking about how his smile could light up a whole room, about how his laughter would fill ones heart with joy or about the way he had used to ruffle his hair up at the back to try to impress the girls. The man didn't know about the numerous pranks or the intense bond he had shared with his dearest friends, he didn't know about the way he could sooth Sirius' anger just by stroking the hair from his eyes, or how, when he kissed, he would move his tongue in ways that would drive a vicious spike of intense fire right into Sirius' gut. The man would never know of the deep intense love and unbounded loyalty James had bestowed upon his friends, or that he had never, ever let them give up no matter what. Eventually the man trailed off in his long, boring speech. "And now we will commit James Potter to the Earth, who will say a few words?"

There was a pause, Sirius felt Harry shift at his side and thought for a moment that he would step forward to speak but he didn't, instead Sirius spoke, his voice roughened by emotion and he was unable to tear his eyes from the coffin. "James was..." He began and stumbled over his words, he forged on, it was the least he could do. "...he was...a bastard." He breathed in a sharp breath, there were a few mutters of laughter but it didn't last. "He was a prankster, I-I...I'll always remember that gleam he got in his eye when he came up with a particularly cunning plan, he was cruel sometimes but...but there was always an innate sense of responsibility that tempered it. James was my best friend...he was my life, my universe, my soul and..." he sighed heavily and wrapped his arms around himself. "And I'll love him until the day I die." He whispered. "A peice of me goes with him to the after world and I'm glad, because at least he didn't die alone."

The silence was uncomfortable but finally the old man gave them permission to place flowers upon the coffin. They did so in silence, Harry first, Sirius next and so on until the top of the coffin was awash with great crimson, white and pink roses. As the coffin was finally laid in the earth Sirius felt his heart break again, as if he was watching the last of his world crumble to dust. He shuddered as grief tore at his broken soul, rending him speechless and immovable, he fell to his knees as they covered James over with soil. Slowly people began drifting away, some muttering pointless comfort to him, some putting a hand on his shoulder and more walking from him in silence. He was left alone, Harry having gone off alone to visit the house that for him, his parents had died. Sirius sat on his knees for so long his legs went numb and the sky darkened, again and again he heard James' scream in his head, echoing through his mind like a sword. He relived the flash of green light, and the dull, muted thud of a body hitting the floor. He once again re-lived kneeling beside Remus' body, feeling his cold skin pressed to his, gazing into his slack face. He had lost them all. His friends, his only family and he was alone...

Except...

Sirius woke to loud screaming, he groaned and pushed the blankets off of himself and swung his legs out of bed. Slowly he went down the hall and pushed open the door to his brothers old room. It had been fairly easy to turn into a child-friendly bedroom, the cot had been his as a child which he had found in the cellar. The wood was black with silver ravens painted upon the sides, it was a beautiful peice with soft white cotton drapes and satin ribbons. He leaned over the cot and smiled down into it where a small, dark haired child screamed and waved her arms. "Hush, Mira..." He whispered as he lifted her from her blankets and began rocking her back and forth. He gazed into her blotchy red face and remembered his first sight of her.

The woman came towards Sirius holding a bundle wrapped in white cloth, she smiled and handed the thing to Sirius who took it with fear and awe on his face. He lifted his hand and gently moved the cloth away from the sleeping babies face. The first thing that struck him was that she was so tiny, her hands were clenched into fists and her eyes shut as she slept. He felt a small smile tugging at his lips and gently ran a finger down her cheek. "Hello Mira, It's me, your father." The child's eyes flickered and slowly, her eyes opened. Sirius felt his smile widen, her eyes were dark silver, he laughed softly to himself as he fell instantly in love with her. She was perfection personified, and she was James' last gift to him, a last bid to bond them both forever and the deepest expression of their love that he had ever given Sirius.

Sleep, O Babe, for the red bee hums,
The silent twilights fall.
Eeval from the Grey Rock comes
To wrap the world in thrall.
A lyan van o, my child, my joy,
My love and heart's desire.
The crickets sing you lullaby
Beside the dying fire.

The lyrics rolled off his tongue as he rocked the crib and watched his daughter sleep, she had changed greatly in the months since he had first met her and he could now see that her hair stuck up at the back just like James' had. He smiled lovingly, singing softly as his daughter fell asleep once again. "I love you little one." He whispered and leaned in, kissing her gently on the forehead before standing again and retreating as quietly as possible. As he returned to his room next door and lay down on his bed he turned his head and gazed at a picture he had of himself, Remus, Peter and James. They all stood together in a line, grinning like loons and looking like nothing in the world could taint their happy, perfect world. Sirius sighed...

His body lay on the cool stone floor, he could feel people around him but he only had eyes for James. He reached out with a shaking hand and gently closed those beautiful hazel eyes, it was a moment before the realisation really hit him; James was dead. He was gone for good and nothing, no amount of magic could bring him back again. Agony swelled in his breast as his breathing came short, his body was wracked by violent shivers and dimly he heard a whisper from Hermione; 'Let's leave them alone now Ron.'

Sirius was grateful, he had no wish for people to see him shatter, not like this. It was painful and he wanted to be alone, then he felt someone kneel at his side and he turned his head to see Harry gazing down at his father's body. "I...I've...lost him twice now." He said in a soft but bitter voice. Sirius didn't know what to say, he couldn't handle his own grief let alone ease someone else's so he remained silent and gazed longingly into James' face until the world around him faded out of existence.

It was the hardest thing Sirius had ever done, to take each new day as it came, to force himself to wake up every morning, to put one foot before the other. It was as if someone had filled his body with lead and moving took more energy than it had any right to, and yet he continued. He ate three meals a day, he went out to shop for essentials, he forced himself to go for walks but deep down he knew with an iron certainty that he was only doing it for one reason; Mira. The child had become his driving force in James' place, he was living to ensure her safety, to give her a chance to grow up knowing that someone in her life loved her as she deserved, giving her the chance to grow into a fine young witch and live a happy life. He was living solely for his daughter and the thought of her galvanised him even when at night he lay in bed, clutching her to his chest simply to try and find some way of holding James again...to feel a heartbeat beside his own. On nights like that he shook as sobs of desperate longing and suppressed pain assaulted him, he let his tears fall into Mira's ebony hair and cling there like a net of diamonds. He swore to himself that she would know her other father, that she would know what a brilliant and good man he had been and that she would always know that he would have loved her.

"Sirius, are you alright?"

"Of course, Dromeda." Sirius replied as best he could with a tight smile. His cousin had come by to meet his daughter but also to bring him some food and make sure he was looking after himself, she was pleased to see that he was.

"I understand how difficult raising a child is, if there is anything I can do, please call me."

Sirius nodded. "Thank you, but we're alright."

Andromeda smiled softly down at the girl in her arms. "She is perfect, the Black gene's are obvious in her, she will be beautiful."

"Of course, she's James' daughter." Sirius replied softly, his smile became suddenly much more natural and adoring as his eyes landed on his daughter.

James' grave was a pale glimmer in the early evening, like a star in a dawn sky. Sirius knelt before it with tears in his eyes as he lay upon the ground a bunch of perfect Lily's interspersed with the star-shaped blooms of Asphodel and pink carnations. Harry leaned closer and admired the flowers, in response Sirius spoke; "Asphodel means 'my regrets follow you to the grave' and a pink carnation means 'I'll never forget you'...The Lily's are for your mother." Slowly he stood, his knees creaked ominously and he grimaced as he stood beside Harry, his long hair whipping around his face as the wind picked up.

"Regrets? What regrets do you have?" Harry asked softly, eyeing his Godfather curiously.

"That I never got to be with him properly, that we could never really be whole and happy together, that something always managed to tear us apart even if we always did come together again. We were never truly happy, not like your mother and James...there was too much against us, the world would never have accepted us, no matter if we had stayed together or not. People are narrow minded and foolish, our relationship was doomed from the moment we began it, James knew this but I refused to see it. I allowed it to blinker me, even when it came to who would become secret Keeper for your parents, some part of me was afraid that if James and I argued or we decided never to speak again it would endanger the whole thing so I pushed them into accepting Peter telling myself and others that it was for the best, that no one would ever suspect the rat to be Keeper." He laughed bitterly. "It is my fault they died...it is my fault James died during the final battle, I could have stayed with him but I..." He faltered and shook his head. "So many regrets but I will never stop loving him, 'til the day I die I will love your father with my whole being."

After a while Harry left Sirius alone at his parents grave side, he turned back once to see his figure standing tall beside the stone, the wind whipping and tugging at his hair as he lowered his head. Once again Harry turned away, he wished he had the power to ease his Godfathers pain, but perhaps this was how it was meant to be, Sirius was using the grief he felt over James' loss to bring himself closer to James and if that was what was needed, Harry thought, so be it. He would be with his Godfather as often as possible to give him some company and attempt to alleviate a little of his pain.

Eleven Years Later...

Mira gazed at herself in the full-length mirror on the wall, she was eleven and about to embark on her first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was tall for a girl of her age, with short, boy-ish hair that stuck up all over the place, but she knew she was pretty, with wide silver eyes and a small, perfectly straight nose. Her cheek bones and facial structure were aristocratically beautiful, even at her age. She smiled happily to herself as she heard her father call for her. "Coming Dad! Stop being a worry-wort or you'll get wrinkles!" She snapped back, smiling despite her irritation. She took one last look at her image in the mirror, straightening her t-shirt and baggy shorts before running down the stairs of her ancient house, taking them two at a time. When she neared the bottom she spotted her father beaming proudly at her, she leapt forward from the top of the last set of stairs, flying towards him and landed in his arms.

"Whoa! Careful there, you might hurt yourself." Sirius said as he put her on the floor gently.

"No I won't, you always catch me." She said with a wide, cheeky grin that Sirius imitated.

"What are you wearing?" Sirius eyed her attire with confused eyes, Mira rolled her own. "Where are the pretty dresses 'Dromeda got you?"

"Ugh! How many times do I have to tell you? I hate dresses! They're annoying and get in my way, also, how can I play-fight wearing a dress?"

Sirius grinned. "I have a daughter who acts like a boy, what have I done?!" He laughed, a sharp bark that stirred the myriad of paintings that lined the corridor. "Shall we get going then?" She nodded and together they left the house.

Platform nine and three quarters was packed as usual, the train sat glimmering in the station and belching steam into the atmosphere. Sirius smiled happily, feeling a nostalgia that was so powerful he could almost hear the laughter of four, innocent boys as they scrambled to the train to get the best compartment. He watched his daughter gaze around with an awe filled expression as people pushed and shoved around her, as they reached the train she turned to her father and grinned.

"There you two are, I was worried you would be late!" A regal looking woman came striding from the crowds with a boy following at her heels, his hair was a mop of golden curls and his eyes a striking cornflower blue that Sirius knew would change the instant he got bored, when those eyes landed on Mira the boy grinned and ran over to her, he punched her in the arm and she punched him back.

"Hello Andromeda, Teddy." Sirius said, nodding to the boy who nodded back and continued to play-wrestle with Mira.

"How are you?" Andromeda asked, the glint in her eyes alerting Sirius to the fact that she was asking about his emotional well being, Sirius smiled.

"I'm fine, really...I'm happy to see her growing up...it's nice to see her smile."

Andromeda cupped his face with one hand. "You are a good father, Sirius, but I'm concerned...Without Mira with you what will you do?" Sirius shrugged. "You must get lonely, Sirius I...I really think you considered finding someone..."

Sirius' eyes darkened. "I'm fine, Andromeda...I don't need anyone but Mira."

"But I..."

"Enough." Sirius' face softened and he sighed. "After James died I nearly lost the will to live, but I managed to keep myself from falling into utter despair by concentrating all my efforts on her, I devoted my entire life to make sure she had everything I never did. I want her to be happy, nothing else matters. My own love life died with James, I will not love another...Please understand that I'm far from lonely, I have Mira, I have Harry...I'm actually reasonably happy."

Andromeda pursed her lips in an almost perfect imitation of Sirius' mother, her eyes narrowed briefly before she conceded defeat. "Fine, but I will be here for you if you do get lonely. I would enjoy a visit."

Sirius smiled and, as the train whistled alerting the remaining students that it was time to leave he turned and pulled his daughter into an embrace, knocking the air from her lungs. "I love you."

"I know, Daddy. I'll write I promise."

"Don't cause too much trouble and be nice to professor Longbottom, he has done much for this world."

"I will, Dad...I have to go."

Sirius reluctantly released her and watched her pull her trunk onto the train. She disappeared from view momentarily before reappearing with Teddy in a compartment window, they pulled it open and, as the train lurched forward and began rolling past, she blew Sirius a kiss.

As Sirius watched the train move away he could hear soft laughter in his ear, gentle arms around his shoulders and the whisper of breath; She'll be alright, Siri, she's our daughter...

Sirius knew it was true and, with a last wave he turned from the platform with a smile and Disapperated with a pop.

THE END

END NOTE: Thank you all so much for sticking with me through this tumultuous journey, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you all so much for your continued support and I hope to bring you more joy with later stories, don't forget that I have two profiles now one is called; rosa suscipit and I have a new profile under the same name (Kimmimaru) on Adultfanfiction . net which may have one or two stories you have not read on it. Feel free to check it out if you wish. Anyways, thanks again, keep writing and keep reading, my love, Kimmimaru. XXX