A/N: Hi all ! I've returned. I'm sending this to my lovely beta but in the mean time, I thought I'd get it up as soon as possible for you all to read. I realise it's been such a long time. I myself had to go back and re-read my own story to keep up! I hope this is a good returning chapter and apologise for any errors as I'm sure my beta will correct them when she has a chance. Leave a review, I love each and every comment.

Happy reading.

L x

"Joanna, you really don't have to go. You've only been here for a little while." I tried to protest as she stood by the door, packed with bags and ready to leave. She gave me a weak smile.

"You have a life here Katniss, and I'm so fricking happy about that." She replied, picking up one of the bags at her feet and putting it over her shoulder. "I've loved every minute here but it suddenly feels like it's time for me to go home." Joanna added, a sad smile creeping onto her face. She looked a lot better than she had before she arrived, slightly more full of colour and her dark hair resting nicely on her shoulders, looking glossy instead of straggly like it had before.

"It's just so sudden…" I trailed off not knowing how to approach the situation. Joanna had only been here for a few days but I had begun to sense that her time was coming to an end yesterday when she had seemed more quiet and reserved. There was something quite final in her goodbye that I wasn't sure I liked. I sensed that I may never see her again. Or maybe I would. You never really knew with Joanna and that's what upset me. She had become such a good fixture in District 12 with all of us over the last ten days or so that it was genuinely sad to see her leave. Although I had been craving more alone time with Peeta and Eve, before a fourth was added into our family unit.

The thought sent my head spinning as I tried not to even consider what my birth may be like this year. I'd be doing so well at focusing on the present and not projecting into the future, giving myself anxiety. It was hard though, but Joanna being here had helped a little, and now that she was leaving, I was worried I'd have more time to think. More time to panic.

"I know Katniss, but it just feels right." She said shrugging casually as she made an awkward move suddenly to hug me. As soon as I hugged her back, she relaxed into it and suddenly it became more sincere. I rubbed her back and squeezed a little harder; the reality hitting home that she was really leaving. Our time felt too short and too…normal. It was a bittersweet feeling.

"Where will you go?" I asked, as she pulled away, genuinely curious as to whether she'd be roaming the districts or would settle back where she came from. She was like a feather in the wind.

"Back to 6. I have people waiting there that I care about. And like I said a while ago, I like it there, it's become a kind of home now." Joanna frowned at the word home like she wasn't comfortable quite saying it, but her lips twisted up into a smile at the same time. Everyone apart from me and Peeta struggled to read Joanna. Even our predictions weren't quite accurate, but we knew her mannerisms better than anyone.

"Please come back any time Joanna. I really mean that. Or we'll come to 6, whatever." I tried to add the last sentence on nonchalantly so as not to seem too invasive into her new life. It was harder than some to keep up with friends or family from the darker days. I understood that better than anyone.

"I will, I promise." She said, and looking into her eyes I could see sincerity. This made me happy.

"Eve come say goodbye to Joanna!" I called as I heard her putting down her toys in the living room and come running through. She was so energetic and big at two and three quarter years old. I couldn't believe still to this day how anything could be so full of life and happy all the time. My daughter and I would forever be polar opposites in that aspect, and that shot a pang of sadness through my heart. She really took after Peeta. Despite everything that had ever happened to him, he remained a positive and strong force who could always smile. I envied that.

"You going?" She asked sweetly as she reached up with her hands to be picked up by her. Eve had grown very fond of Joanna over the last near fortnight and Joanna had reciprocated most feelings. Although she still found it hard obviously to be around people, especially children who would never know what she did.

"I sure am Eve." She said, picking her up, almost reluctantly but smiling genuinely and sadly as she ruffled her hair. "I'll be back soon though, don't you worry. In the mean time you concentrate on being as much of a little terror as you can for Mom and Dad won't you?" Joanna tagged on cheekily and managed a laugh of sorts.

Eve nodded and wriggled out, her attention span waning. She settled back beside my legs, clutching onto the fabric of my jeans.

"Peeta won't get to say goodbye to you, won't you at least wait til he gets back from the bakery?" I asked hopefully although knowing that in reality, Joanna would disappear as quickly as she came. Leaving behind her only the settling of the dust; like an illusion.

She scrunched up her face, looking at Eve and me briefly, her mind somewhere else, before snapping back to reality. "I'm not one for goodbyes much." She stated and I nodded knowingly.

"It's been so lovely having you, I really hope you're happy in 6." As I spoke I absently rubbed my large stomach. Only three months left now until he was due.

"Thanks Katniss." Joanna said awkwardly, as if not knowing how to end our time together, and opening the door. I quickly moved forward and grabbed onto her arm, the movement shocking her a little as she hesitated.

"Yeah?" she asked questioningly and I was suddenly unsure what I was doing with this action. I guess I hadn't been one for goodbyes either.

"Nothing, just travel safe, ok?" I ended with, feeling silly for saying something so trivial to someone I wasn't sure when would pop back up into my life again. I studied her face, knowing it would never leave my mind for the rest of my life, but taking in the moment.

"Yeah yeah." She sighed rolling her eyes, "God you're such a mom now aren't you?" Joanna said finally before giving a little wave to Eve and I, and walking out the door. I closed it behind her, watching her out of the side window as she disappeared with her bags, around the corner and out of my sight. I felt a mixture of emotions as she left. I knew Peeta would be upset he didn't get to say a proper goodbye but I knew he'd understand. To be truthful, he'd probably be grateful for our last three months together also.

The doorbell rang. It was September now and beginning to get a little chillier in 12 as usual this time of year. I wandered into the hall and looked through the peephole to see Saffra and Gale standing in front of the door.

I opened it; surprised to see them both together. Normally we only saw them together on occasions, or weekends, and this was neither. They looked excited; their eyes alight with a surprise. I gave them a questioning look before letting them in.

"Do you guys want to come take a seat or…?" I asked, knowing that Saffra was just bursting to tell me something and probably didn't want to even sit down. They hovered in the hall in front of me; Gale's eyes taking in my bulging stomach briefly, a habit that normally happened now. I could never tell what he was thinking when he did this. I normally fell on the thought that he was excited to have his own child….with Saffra; my mind wandered. Was this why they'd come? My heart skipped a beat although I wasn't sure why.

I shook the thoughts away before turning to Saffra as she was about to speak.

"No, we can tell you here." She said excitedly, looking at Gale as he looked back at her. He seemed happy but nowhere near on her level. He gave a little laugh.

"We're getting married!" Saffra all but screamed in my face as she took off a glove and showed me a small, elegant ring. My mind stopped whirring on the imagery of Saffra rounded with Gale's child for now and fell onto others. I stumbled into a lot of emotions I didn't expect, but the one that came out was happiness surprisingly. Gale turned to look at me and beamed. I lit up in reaction to their reactions.

"You guys, this is amazing." I said happily as I studied her ring and gave them both a hug. Eve had wandered through by this point and Gale had her in his arms showing her the ring too and getting her excited for a wedding. I suddenly forgot to ask.

"So when is the wedding set for?" I asked, presuming, knowing Gale and how he didn't like to move fast with things that it would be for a year, or two's time. Far far away.

"Two months." He replied, and the ecstacy didn't fade from his face. "November." I was taken aback. The fact that Gale was in love with someone, living with her, engaged, and now saying he was going to be married next month was unusual for his character to say the least. I guess this was how much Saffra had changed him. He seemed besotted with her. I expected to feel the other emotions that had surfaced briefly before but only joy seemed to stay. I took this as a good sign.

"Well, I can't wait." I said as I felt my heart feel full and strange at the thought of Gale actually being married to someone. I'd always wanted this for him ever since I'd chosen Peeta, ever since he'd come back from 2 and claimed he loved me when I didn't love him back in that way, and ever since I felt like I'd betrayed him for becoming pregnant with mine and Peeta's child; something that he had always wanted for us when we were children ourselves and something I'd always so frivolously denied.

And yet here I was, almost bursting at the seams with my second baby. It was crazy how if I could see myself in ten years' time when I was a child, fighting in the games, fighting for my loved ones and for everyone under oppression, I'd probably say you were wrong and that I'd rather die than be someone's mother.

My baby boy thudded a hard kick to my kidney as a harsh reminder.

"Owch!" I muttered as twisted and turned under the sticky covers. Despite it being October, I was working up quite a heat from being so big and exhausted all the time. Peeta was fast asleep next to me, but my stirring was starting to wake him. I felt bad. I'd hidden a lot of pain I'd had all throughout this pregnancy from him, for fear of making him feel guilty for wanting to go through this again, which was ridiculous. Peeta wanted this, he'd made me want it by now and I was happy to give it to him, and complete our family. Even though I wanted to curl up and hide most days at the thought of another crying child with so much to go wrong….

I pushed these nasty thoughts out of my head, realising that I hadn't had as many nightmares whilst carrying my second child. The nausea had gone after three months, like a nail hit on the head as soon as the first trimester was over, and even though I was uncomfortable all the time, and had the usual pregnancy-related ailments, I was definitely doing a lot better this time round.

This gave me a slight flicker of hope.

That I wouldn't have to go through what I went through with Eve. That this meant it was going to be a healthy delivery, and a healthy baby, and a happy future.

I tried to not let myself think of this either. Nowadays it seemed like I was forever trying to keep my thoughts neutral; at some kind of a baseline. Not letting fear or hope take hold but a steady heartbeat of optimism mixed with realism.

Despite having no dreams of Snow he was usually still at the back of my mind. It was a lingering presence, one that whilst not physically here seemed to shape every thought and most emotions I had. It took me a while to realise that even though he was gone, I'd never be rid of his ghost. That even though I'd won the war, he'd won several battles.

Peeta.

Peeta being one of them, even though amazingly recovered and back to his old self, he still had sparks of a being that was constructed, that wasn't human, that wasn't him. I blamed Snow but the act of holding a grudge was like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. A frighteningly ironic image that was in my mind.

I had to physically claw at myself and shake my head to rid myself from thinking of him at this time in the night, with Peeta beside me, and Eve safe in her small bed; the baby monitor light glowing reassuringly throughout the night. Despite her nearing three years old, I still didn't have the heart to turn that life line off.

I rubbed my belly as I was reminded how massive I was. I looked like I had swallowed a volleyball. I had recently been slower in my hunts and no longer had the energy to go back into the woods. It was almost like it was a part of me I felt guilty for still having; like something I should've left behind a long time ago to make room for new things….which I had done.

Peeta stirred again as I let out a sigh unconsciously. He opened his eyes immediately and groggily put a hand on shoulder.

"Katniss, you alright?" He asked; sleep thick in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry if I woke you." I replied, feeling bad. Peeta had been working more and more at the bakery with the end date nearing to make sure he could take time off when our son arrived.

Even saying that word sounded foreign. Our son.

"I wonder what he'll look like." Peeta mused wistfully , as if reading my mind not for the first time.

"Just like Eve I hope. So you." I added, taking his hand off my shoulder and into mine as I rubbed it lovingly.

"Eve may have my hair colour, but she's definitely got parts of you in her." He replied, rolling his eyes and giving me a kiss on the hand on top of his.

"She's definitely all you. Her enthusiasm for everything, her thirst for knowledge, her socialness." I listed, feeling sure of it in my mind that she had none of me but being secretly glad.

Peeta sighed this time and rolled in close to me, resting his head on the mountain that was my belly. He popped a kiss on that too and started rubbing.

"Keeping mommy awake is very naughty mister." Peeta said softly and my heart melted. He'd been born for this role, and if it was up to Peeta he'd probably want three more. I cringed at the thought.

"You know after him I really can't do anymore." I said suddenly, as the thought came into my head, regretting how it'd come into conversation. Peeta pulled up his head off my bump and stroked the side of my face knowingly.

"I know Katniss." He replied, and I couldn't detect the emotion for once in his voice. Was he sad? Understanding? Had he just accepted that it was unbelievable to get me to this point and that pushing me past it would cause destruction? Like it almost had with Eve?

"Is that ok?" I asked tentatively, feeling like a child myself again. He pulled my chin up to his face and gave me a slow, loving kiss. I returned it.

"Katniss, you know I would never ever make you do anything you don't want to. I never thought we'd be here. With such an amazing and intelligent little girl, with you beside me and glowing with our second baby. I just, I can't believe it every single day." He said contently as his eyes glazed over, which I could make out as the night-time light from the stars and moon shone through our thin curtains.

This seemed like enough for me for now and I move myself closer to him, so that I was being cradled in his arms.

"I'm so scared Peeta." I whispered, so quietly, I wasn't sure he'd heard at first, but after a pause he responded.

"Me too."

"But it's going to be ok." I added, almost for the reassurance for myself rather than him. Peeta never admitted that he was scared. The only times I'd ever seen him lose his cool were when I was bleeding out with Eve, and when Eve had got very sick.

"More than ok." He responded fiercely, stroking my arm as I lay my head on his chest, listening to his steady, heavy heartbeat.

"Perfect." Peeta concluded.

"Peeta please can you get her into that dress she's driving me crazy!" I said, but not seriously as I gestured towards Eve who had decided it would be more fun to run around with her dress over her head, crashing into things than to let me put it on her. I'd abandoned ship and begun to dress myself, letting Peeta take over as he always had more patience than me with Eve as she threw one of her tantrums.

"Got it." He called as he walked out the bathroom in a smart shirt and black trousers and down the corridor into Eve's room where she had started giggling when he'd walked in.

I gazed after him lustfully. He looked so beautiful when he was dressed up. My mind wandered, like a thousand times in this pregnancy from emotion to emotion.

I looked at myself in the bedroom mirror, turning to the side and sighing as I saw my frumpy maternity dress sitting very tightly over my eight-month bump. It was a dark shade of purple, and looked amazing on the hanger, unfortunately not so over my body. I groaned in frustration and begun to braid my hair, quickly and routinely like I always had done, before grabbing my bag and heading into Eve's room to help her get ready. Considering she was the smallest out of all of us she required the most time to get ready. I rolled my eyes as Peeta was attempting to chase her round her room. The more he tried to catch her, the harder and faster she ran and laughed.

I inhaled sharply as another foot went to my rib this time.

"Everything ok?" Peeta said, his face dropping with concern as he turned to stare at me, checking me up and down, scanning, like he always did for any sign of danger. He was even more protect over me this pregnancy but didn't show it. I could forever feel him watching though.

"Just got ourselves a sports player I think." I muttered in response and laughed a little as I rubbed the spore spot at the top of my stomach. This baby was way more active than Eve and that was saying something. She'd all but done somersaults in my stomach for the last three months.

"That's what I like to hear." Peeta replied and scooped Eve into his arms, wrestling with her to get the dress on. I grabbed her rucksack, in the shape of a teddy bear with all her colouring crayons and pads and toys in to keep her entertained.

"I think we're late." I said worringly, quickly checking the time on the clock on Eve's wall. It glowed silently and confirmed my worries.

"We're ready!" Peeta shouted as he pulled her head through and smoothed down her rose red dress. Eve looked so adorable despite all the tantrums and games she'd made out of getting ready.

"Don't want to be late to your uncle Gale's wedding do we Apple?" He said in a sing-song voice as he kissed her on the cheek. Apple was now a firm nickname for Eve by Peeta, ever since I'd told him that she was the size of an apple in my womb that time three years ago…. I couldn't believe how it'd flown. All those worries, and now I was here.

I also couldn't believe how good Peeta was with Gale now. It was as if nothing had ever happened between them. They wouldn't go out of their way to be best friends, but they were very kind and generous to each other and I never knew of anything bad between them. Peeta had done it for me, and for Eve, and I loved him even more for it.

"Uncle Gale's wedding to Saffra?" Eve asked in response, having to confirm everything we said now at this age. She was like a human parrot. I laughed at her high-pitched golden voice. She was too cute. Peeta nodded his head.

"Yes Honey, and we don't want to be late do we?" We're picking Pine up on the way too aren't we so we best be going." He said, starting to say it to Eve but turning towards me at the end. I nodded.

"Yeah c'mon you two." I said, shooing them out the door and looking happily after them as my baby boy jabbed me again. This time in my bladder.

I groaned, but stayed smiling.

"I declare you partners from here on and forever more." The conductor of the wedding concluded and everyone began cheering and throwing rose petals into the air. I clapped my hands and Peeta made Eve clap hers too as she glowed with excitement at everyone around her, and the atmosphere. We were in an old town hall that had been re-constructed after the dark days that had been redecorated into a wedding venue. Weddings in our history books were always about religion, and everyone had different weddings, and there were problems with guys and guys and girls with girls and it all seemed confusing and messy. Nowadays when two people wanted to marry, and loved each other, it was simple. It was one ceremony for all; one to bind you two as partners for the rest of your lives. The conductor of the wedding moved the white ribbon that had been laid out over Gale and Saffra's conjoined hands and allowed them to kiss. My eyes filled with tears at the sight and this surprised me. I wasn't one for crying with happiness. Not pre-children anyway.

Hazel sat next to me on the front bawling her eyes out. She continuously grabbed a handkerchief out of her purse and blew her nose and wiped her face. She looked amazing in a pale pink dress and a gorgeous hat on. Posy and Rory sat next to her, with Pine and Sam on the other side of us, all cheering and taking photos and enjoying the atmosphere. Even Haymitch turned up, later than us though, and sat and cheered with everyone else. He occasionally pulled out a hip flask from his almost-smart jacket and despite me giving him the look he just raised it and gave me a smile. I decided to let him off the hook. He'd been so great over the last few years with Eve and I'd never found him in that state that he was when I was newly pregnant with her ever again. It was a magical day, and Saffra looked like a princess with her red hair standing out against her cream dress that cascaded onto the floor. They'd had a simple, yet bigger wedding than I had imagined for Gale, but Saffra had a lot of family. They were dotted amongst us, not having sides for one half or the other and cried with happiness too. I gathered that Saffra's father was a wealthy man. His suit looked like it had come from the Capitol, but was subdued and not as clownish. He had paid for most of the wedding. I'd come to learn that her mother had died when she was younger due to insufficient medicine. It was sad how something could probably be prevented like that now. I was unsure how this had happened with her having a wealthy family. But Peeta had told me they were only recently in money. Something to do with rebuilding things and starting again after the war had put them in good fortune. I was glad, because they seemed like nice people, and like they deserved it.

We ate a massive feast and I felt bad for gorging myself like I'd never done before, but I blamed it on eating for two. We danced as a three, Peeta, Eve and I until my feet were sore and I had to sit down.

Gale wandered over to me, looking smart and unusual in his suit and tie and beaming from ear to ear. I stood up and gave him a hug, as best as I could with my bump in the way.

"Thank you so much Katniss, I love that you're here." He said genuinely, and I could tell he was little tipsy from the alcohol. It was something I'd never had a taste for personally, and had only come to our district after everything, but some people used it, like Haymitch, as a coping mechanism and I wasn't fond of the stuff.

"You know I wouldn't miss this day for the world." I said in response, sitting down with him at our table at the reception dinner we were all having in Saffra's father's house. It was beautifully decorated and was large enough to accommodate for the bigger-than-usual weddings that went on in 12.

"Not that I ever thought this day would come." I added on, suddenly hoping that it didn't come off too rough. Gale shook his head dismissively, his eyes slightly behind at the movement due to the alcohol intake.

"Katniss, I didn't think it either, but she's great, I love her. And I know it's moved so fast but when it's the one you just know don't you?" Gale asked rhetorically as he took another swig from a glass with a slightly blue bubbly liquid in. The only liquor I knew well was Haymitch's. And suddenly I was transported back to the taste hitting the back of my throat all those years ago…

I shuddered at the thought and back to Gale who didn't seem to notice I'd been gone momentarily. His eyes were transfixed on something behind me, I turned to look. It was Saffra, in her dress dancing with her dad. He looked on in adoration.

"Go dance with her, stop doing the rounds, everyone's ok." I said laughing and hit his arm playfully. He turned back to me with equally loving eyes, but a different kind of love. I saw this now, and I presumed it was the look I'd always given him. The one that he had never wanted until now.

"She's a very lucky girl." I added, just as Eve ran up to me and clambered onto my lap, hitting my bump in the process. I squeaked and Gale took her from me, swinging her around and bouncing her on his knee. She giggled in delight as I rubbed my stomach. It really was sore tonight. I hadn't made it past this stage with her so I was unsure what to expect from now on.

Peeta came running over after her, looking out of breath from chasing her. Despite it being late, she was still bouncing off the walls with all the icing sugar from the cake that Peeta had caringly made for the reception. It was a pale green with trees on that were found in 12, along with daffodils sprouting in fields and a marzipan bride and groom under a floral arch. It was breath-taking to say the least. All of this had been so different from our simple, quick wedding. Everyone was different, I knew that, but it suddenly made me second-guess myself as to whether I'd made the right decision keeping it on the down low instead of celebrating.

"Sorry, I can't keep hold of her." Peeta said playfully as he ruffled her curls which were now out of her braid and all over the place. Gale bent down to Eve on his lap.

"Would you like to dance baby girl?" He asked sweetly and she nodded enthusiastically before bouncing off his lap again and running over to the dancefloor that had been set up where a band was playing jazz tunes. Eve loved the attention of everyone as people cooed over her and complimented her dress and hair.

"Would you like to dance my big baby girl?" Peeta asked extending a hand out to me. I swatted it away and rolled my eyes.

"Who'd want to dance with a beached whale?" I said sarcastically but got up anyway. My feet were pounding with pain and I felt like I could fall asleep standing up.

"Don't be silly you look amazing." Peeta said pulling me towards the dancefloor and into him as we swayed around, more naturally than I'd thought considering I'd never been much of a dancer. Peeta held his arms around my waist and kissed my nose lovingly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Eve dancing with Saffra and Gale, and I had a vision of their own little family one day which would be okay. I was happy for them. Haymitch was sitting in the corner getting more and more drunk, but seeming happy, not angry which was good. He gave me a wink just before Eve was running up to him and trying to drag him away to dance. Haymitch was having none of it, but laughing.

"I don't feel amazing. I feel huge." I moaned in response to Peeta as I felt the skin of my bump touch his stomach, covering the distance between us.

"Well it's because you're nearly there!" Peeta said enthusiastically as his eyes lit up. "It won't be long now." He added kissing me again on my forehead this time, then each cheek, then my lips. I kissed him back. I wanted it to go on for eternity; this moment. To pause in time and hold his body against mine and love him forever.

Unfortunately my body had other plans.

"Oh my god." I uttered, deadly serious and looking down.

Peeta turned to me confused and alarmed, raising his eyebrow in questioning, before following my gaze.

"Looks like I am there." I barely managed to scrape the words from my tongue as I stared at my waters, broken onto the floor.