Disclaimer: Bleach is not my work. The one and only Tite Kubo is the one who made Bleach.

Warning: OOC Byakuya, but there is a reason why.

This took a while to make because school is BACK. Pity, huh? Especially that many college exams are piling up and making me so nervous.

I will wander until the end of time
Torn away from you

I pulled away to face the pain
I close my eyes and drift away
Over the fear
That I will never find a way
to heal my soul
And I will wander until the end of time
Torn away from you

My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow's hold
Over my heart

~My Heart is Broken by Evanescence~

He heard heavy footsteps that were so loud it hurt his ears but it wasn't enough to wake him up. His eyelids were like they were glued together. His body felt like they were working out for a hundred years and pain tried to pound in his mind even more.
Ichigo lost all the focus in what to say to Byakuya when he heard voices of alarm from a gruff voice that could only be his dad.

He didn't know what it was about, but something compelled him to know what it was yet right now he could only try and let his mind succumb to slumber if it would make him feel even just a little better.

But he knew they were talking before. What were they talking about anyway?

Yuzu mumbled, "Sorry..." Byakuya was sedated again but this time he didn't look peaceful. He looked so pained, full of strain in every part of his body and his lips mouthing Ichigo's name nonstop.

His closed eyes were shining with clear drops that haven't fallen down his cheeks yet, and even though he didn't look insane or mad he was clearly overwhelmed by sorrow and the trauma that most likely woke him up despite the drugs in his system.

"It's not your fault. I know Byakuya, and there are times when he really won't give in completely to the drugs."

Karin looked away, remembering how the young half-deranged man would call for Ichigo so much that one more mention of the name from his lips would break her heart.

How deeply was he in love with her brother exactly?

"There has to be something we can do. I don't want to see him suffering anymore. Even if he was acting wildly, I was sure he was acting like he was in the fire. He had such difficulty breathing." Yuzu explained.

Isshin couldn't keep count to how many breakdowns Byakuya had when it's concerned with his family's death. "At least he didn't do any worse." Didn't do any worse indeed.

"Is Ichi-nii alright?"

"He has internal bleeding and the damage is almost extreme but so far he's fighting death with all he got or he would be gone like now." he said it like he had no compassion, but he was worried as hell. "Don't say that. Onii-chan will live." Yuzu insisted, covering Byakuya's shivering body with a blanket.

"Not just for us, but also for Byakuya-san here. I can't imagine exactly how he'll react if ever the worst happens." Karin frowned at her sister's words and can only imagine the raven head losing all sanity left in him.

That can explain that he loved Ichigo to the point that he was his everything, and his life.

Her heart felt painful, like it was stabbed by a thousand needles. "Urahara-san's doing his best, right?"

"Of course he is. He's like a second dad to Ichigo." Isshin shrugged, putting two pills in the pale man's mouth and washing it down with a glass of warm water. "He won't let any chance slip by."

As they all left the room in a few minutes to give Byakuya space, the tears fell down and he whispered Ichigo's name for the thousandth time, wanting to see him so badly.

Eyes opened weakly, but his whole sight was nothing but a big blur.

One, two, three weeks and nothing so far. Ichigo was still unconscious and showed no sign of being awake at all, and Byakuya still had to be restrained but the pain of being apart from the orange head was getting stronger.

Faking his sleep, he observed the sounds that would occur in the house and when there was total silence, it meant that no one but him was there. He woke up, glancing at the real sedative that was in the drawer.

He used the same trick again, for the same reason. To get to Ichigo.

Only the word 'hospital' got in his ears during all the small talks they would have near him or beside his bed but it was more than enough. Being in the hospital countless times during his first months after the fire, he knew exactly where it would be and walked there himself.

He was even barefoot, the rough cement making light scratches on the deathly but flawless skin on his feet. It hurt but Ichigo was more important.

Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo...

He remained persistent, his right arm so numb that he could use only his left to swing himself forward should he be stiff for a moment. No one stopped him, no one looked as they were too caught up with themselves.

From afar, he saw a large building of white with part of the sign that told him he was getting closer to where he opted to go to.

The sight of that bright, lively hair, sun-tanned skin and cinnamon eyes made him so eager to get there, to see Ichigo again after a long, long time of not doing so. He was lucky he didn't do anything destructive yet.

But the image of the same teen when he took him mercilessly, just because he dated someone else made bile pile up in his throat. He knew what he had done, and only at first didn't he seem to care about it but now he did and he stopped, falling to his hands and knees at the side of the street and puking everything out.

People looked at him, concerned but he ignored their looks and wiped his mouth, as determined as he is sorrowful. But his body gave out and his consciousness slipped away.

Instant pain stabbed through his heart and Ichigo rose up from the bed in an instant, screaming all the oxygen from his lungs and making his throat dry like the desert itself.

His heartbeat escalated and his screams grew hoarse but stayed loud that it made the room shake in his vision. The pain was like no other, and he didn't know what it was but he just wanted to scream and several people bolted in.

He shook violently, thrashing but lacking enough strength to push the doctors away from him. And when he felt something puncture his neck, he started to stop shouting and yelling his throat out but he made whimpers, feeling hot tears pour out but not when a he felt the huge tube pierce into his wrist.

Their yes met his and the pain on their faces, it was just like the pain in his face right now.

Ichigo felt nothing but the sharpness of blades and the thin puncture of drugs or whatever they used at him, and then Byakuya's voice, sounding like it was sputtering with blood that he forced himself to wake up and see but his body felt heavier than ever.

Before he couldn't even think, the desolate and heartbreaking sound of the rain, the music it gives by making such powerful sounds of several drops of water hitting the ground, banged his ears.

"Mom..."

With a small slap to the cheek, his eyes pried open and didn't feel so lightheaded anymore nor did he feel being in pain. Byakuya's head rested on his blanket-covered lap, his eyes full of bangs and the cheekbones on his face visible. The man looked like he hadn't eaten or slept for days.

Ichigo knew that he shouldn't care for Byakuya anymore, but his body acted on its own and petted the dark locks softly with a cold hand. There was a tray of untouched food beside him, and his family wasn't there, not even a nurse. Just Byakuya and Byakuya only.

"Oh god, how long was I out?" he groaned, the slight noise from his voice immediately sending Byakuya to be awake. He wanted to say hi, but he got hugged instead that it immediately ceased his breathing because of how tight it was, to the point it could crush his lungs but he knew that the weak-looking raven head was so worried and had been waiting.

Yes, he raped him. But Ichigo can't deny that the man still does care for him and isn't in his right mind most of the time. For now, he would let his anger slip for the moment, as he continued tousling the soft hair that remained smooth and beautiful even if it didn't seem to be cared for in a while now.

Byakuya buried his head in Ichigo's shoulder, trying to keep himself from sobbing after drying his eyes out whenever he would be left alone. His fingers and arms were numb like a statue that trying come to life but he wanted to re-experience the feeling of having Ichigo in his arms.

"I thought I was going to lose you... I don't know what I'll do..." he whispered carelessly, not knowing that those small words would have such an impact on Ichigo. Brown eyes widened so much, to how much he could hear the hurt and need in the voice.

He couldn't help it anymore. The words brought tears to his eyes. He refused to let them fall that it blurred his sight and he didn't care. He was still mad, but he knew he can't hate the man no matter what. He was just too pitiful to hate, and was rather more fit to love.

"...Love..." In their embrace, so focused on the emotions in them and not what's going on outside them, the word wasn't heard by either. "I... forgive you..."

Byakuya's tears trailed down his pale and thin cheeks, his hands holding Ichigo's so they would keep on cupping his face that started to have life again and the hearing of those words.

"What do you have to forgive me for?" he asked like a child not understanding a situation that only grown-ups would know.

Ichigo knew that his mental instability would allow him to not remember things, so he just repeated the words again and they broke the sweet embrace when Ichigo's family entered, his sisters' eyes brimming with clear tears at the sight of him awake and well.

"I love you... why can't you get it already?" the thought nagged Byakuya all day. It started to eat at him, just like the fatigue of his body started to catch up to how much he can move each day.

A/N: Sorry that it took a while. The reason why is on my bio/profile. College exams really just love feeding on your pain and stress, don't they? XD