The Importance of Words

Disclaimer: Bioware/EA own Mass Effect, not me.

Spoilers: Mass Effect 3

Words: 3200

Characters: Weshra/Tashya, FemShep/Liara

Summary: An extension of the Citadel: Asari Widow side-quest. Explores the pureblood stigma a little deeper. Based a lot on my own head-canons. I apologise for any errors.

As the war progressed, the Citadel became about more than just shore leave to Shepard. No longer could she relax in Purgatory, simply chatting with James or Aria, and gone were the days of attempting reconciliation between Liara and her father. No, now she visited the Citadel firstly for business. Lost artefacts were exchanged in return for help with the Catalyst, she retrieved the Banner of the First Regiment in turn for Turian fleets, and she secured medical supplies for the Normandy.

But today, for the first time, she found herself delivering something unpleasant; no symbol of hope or discovery, or codex that could lead to victory. Today, she was bestowing words upon one unfortunate person, words masquerading as some kind of horrific truth.

Shepard trudged slowly through the Presidium, walking past the C-Sec office on her right, and down the stairs that led to the shops and markets. Her eyes trailed over to Liara, where her girlfriend leaned against the balcony, looking more serene and at peace than Shepard had seen her in a long time, before Mars, before Hagalaz. Before Ilos, even. Liara must have felt her stare, for bright blue eyes turned to meet hers. She wanted so badly to join her, but her sense of duty wrapped around her like a vice. Shepard was offered a soft smile, which she returned, before her gaze flicked to the left, to where a purple-hued Asari stood arguing into her communicator. When she looked back at Liara, the doctor had already turned away, lost in something else.

Frowning, Shepard made her way across the market, feeling her heart sink with each step. There were many things Shepard hated about her job; the death, the pain, but sometimes, the responsibilities she was burdened with were the worst.

"Her name is Tashya Porae…P-O-R-A-E." The Asari's voice was tense with worry as Shepard approached. The Commander took note of the hunched stance she took, looking distractedly towards the water as she clutched at her communicator. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.

Gently, Shepard laid a hand on her shoulder. The Asari jumped slightly, fumbling with her communicator, where an automated voice played similar answers in reply to her pleas.

"Weshra? I have an audio-log for you." Shepard said, handing a datapad over.

"For me?" Weshra questioned, taking the datapad. Her expression furrowed,

"What is this…" Her eyes widened in muted horror as she read the contents. Faintly, Shepard could hear Tashya's last words play out, tinkling faintly in the peaceful lull of the Presidium.

"My name is Tashya Porae. I'm wounded…" Weshra began shaking her head jerkily, her eyes fixed on the screen. Shepard shuffled uncomfortably in front of her.

"Oh no…" Weshra moaned, her eyes filling with tears. She looked up,

"Thank you for bringing this back." She swallowed thickly. "At least I know what happened." She turned away from Shepard, back to facing the outward scenery, and the Commander was tempted to walk away, to leave her to grieve, but when the previously stiff shoulders began to shake, her ability to move left her.

"Tashya…no no no." Weshra mumbled, tears now spilling freely down her face.

"Tell her…I love her? I'm sorry we fought…" Weshra cried openly now, her sobs breathless as she reached towards the railing for support. Shepard took her free arm.

"I am so sorry." She said, sincerely. "How long had you been together?"

"…nearly three hundred years." Weshra gasped, almost dropping the data pad in her shaking hands. Shepard took it from her, replacing it with her own empty hand.

"That's…impressive." Shepard said awkwardly. For a second, Weshra nearly smiled.

"I suppose it is…to a human."

"Let's sit you down somewhere, get you something strong to drink." the marine offered. Weshra nodded numbly.

They sat at the same table where Shepard had coerced Liara into talking to Aethyta. The view remained as peaceful as ever, but had been tainted by the plume of dark smoke that slithered faintly through the sky; a living reminder of the Cerberus attack.

Shepard poured them both glasses of Batarian ale, passing one to Weshra, who downed it immediately. Shepard poured another, but spoke before offering the drink,

"I believe Tashya wanted you to have everything of hers." Weshra finished her drink quickly again, her eyes watering from a mixture of grief, and the dull burn at the back of her throat.

"It's…traditional, in Asari custom. Bondmates, even those as…unwelcome as us, are expected to share everything." Weshra eyed her curiously,

"If rumours are to be believed, you understand just how deep that sentiment lies." Shepard felt her cheeks burn as she quickly gulped her drink.

"Yes…I do." Her eyes travelled over to where Liara had stood, but the Asari had long since vacated her spot, probably choosing to return the Normandy, back to the mask of the Shadow Broker, buried amongst data. She poured another measure and drank.

"You said 'unwelcome', Weshra. What did you mean?" Now it was Weshra's turn to blush, though she did not reach for more alcohol.

"Obviously, Tashya and I are…were both Asari. It is frowned upon in Asari culture for our species to bond." Shepard's mind snapped back to one of her earliest conversations with Liara. Liara herself was the result of a joint Asari union. She felt a stab of anger as she remembered Tela Vasir's cruel taunt. Pureblood bitch.

"Ah." Shepard said simply, pouring them both another round. They drank in silence, watching the thick black smoke rise higher, circling above their heads, filtering through the white clouds above like the tide washing away footprints in the sand. For such a peaceful race, Shepard mused, the Asari certainly had their fair share of prejudices.

"It was never easy, being together." Weshra spoke suddenly. Shepard turned her head from the clouds to look at her.

"My own mother stopped talking to me. Cut me off." She continued, hand tightening around her glass.

"My father was a Salarian…he'd already died long before I met Tashya."

"Where did you two meet?" Shepard asked, trying to draw her attention away from the inevitable dwelling.

"Illium, actually." Weshra finally laughed, though bitterly.

"We both tried to join a merc gang in our youth. Trouble was, there was only one spot available." Weshra smiled genuinely, toying with the rim of her glass.

"I hated her during that time. So confident, so arrogant. Talented, of course. Her biotics were beyond anything I had ever seen. Luckily, I had learned my fair share of tech tricks from my father."

"Who got in?" Shepard asked. Weshra smiled again, and she turned to Shepard, who was startled to notice her eyes had turned black.

"I'll show you."

The Commander felt reality slip away.

She was standing on one of the lower balconies on Illium. It looked very much like the last time she had set foot on the 'cultural marvel'. Perhaps Asari architecture was as ageless as they were.

"What is this?" She wondered aloud, her voice echoing despite the open space in which she stood.

"My memories. Asari can exchange them with those they trust." Shepard turned to face Weshra, who was leaning in an arched doorway, her foot tensely poised over the threshold, as if she were afraid to take a step forward. Shepard frowned,

"You've only just met me." Weshra looked forward with a strange expression, before finally moving towards the balcony edge, though her gaze never met the Spectre's.

"You've given me indescribable closure, Shepard. Closure I never wanted, and closure I'll probably never accept. But that's the thing about love; regardless of the misery it brings us, we can force it back with determined happiness. Because there is someone to share it with. Remember that." Weshra's fingers danced over the smooth glass barrier, her eyes sliding casually downwards. It was if she had done this a million times before.

"There we are." She said softly. Shepard watched a muscle tighten in her jaw, before following her gaze.

There she saw a younger Weshra storming through an alleyway, her body glowing blue with faint biotics. Frantic shouting could be heard from behind her. Tashya soon joined her in the alley, trying to catch up.

"Weshra, wait!" She was calling, but the other Asari continued onwards. Tashya stopped, out of breath. She seemed to be thinking deeply, and her eyes slid shut as she bent to face her knees, breathing heavily.

"I love you!" She cried hoarsely. The three words bounced off brick and found Weshra, who froze, her biotics dimming. Tashya was still hunched, and didn't notice the other Asari travel back to her. She did, however, feel the hands grip under her elbows, pulling her into a standing position. She also felt the other body that collided with hers, pushing her back into the wall. And she definitely felt a familiar mouth on her own.

Shepard turned to face the present Weshra, who was watching the scene with an expression of pure longing.

"That was the first time she told me. Right after she won her spot." She paused,

"It had taken two months of work to get where I was and in the end I thought I'd achieved nothing. Except really, I had gotten everything I'd ever wanted."

Their surroundings melted into blackness, and Shepard felt the phantom touch of the cafe chair beneath her thighs. It wasn't until the Citadel fully submerged around her, did she realise her eyes were wet.

"I had been so focused for those two months, wondering why I cared so damn much about winning. Why I hated her so much. Why I spent so much time around her, arguing. Then with three words, Tashya made everything fall into place." Weshra said, abandoning her glass to simply drink from the bottle. She offered it to Shepard, who sipped gently, before coughing away the burn. She blinked, rubbing her eyes, hiding the tears that had formed.

"What did you do next?" Shepard asked, handing the bottle back.

"We left Illium, abandoned the merc group. Went travelling all around the Universe. Together. It was easier outside Asari space. Less opinions." Weshra replied, eyeing the smoke that had long since disappeared. The fire had finally been taken care of, it seemed.

"We, to use your human term, 'married' one hundred years into our travel. Settled on a nice little colony."

"Did you have children?" To Shepard's surprise, Weshra paled, her eyes leaving the sky and facing the human instead.

"No…" She answered slowly, straining to keep her voice level, "We…fought about that. Many times. But most recently…" She trailed off, her head lowering. There was a sharp intake of breath, and Shepard saw tears fall onto the table. She reached out a comforting hand.

"Goddess." Weshra sighed, wiping her eyes with her free hand. The word made Shepard's mind snap to Liara. Her heart ached. They had become so distant, even when they had been reunited. She would never tell Liara this, and she knew it was nothing more than ridiculous frustration that had caused it, but she had missed Liara so much during her captivity on Earth. Seeing her on Mars…it was almost as if breath had returned to her lungs, blood went back into her veins, purpose was pronounced in her stride. There was no Commander Shepard without the infamous Dr T'Soni.

"I wanted children so badly." Weshra mumbled, startling Shepard from her thoughts. The hand around hers tightened.

"But Tashya…she was so worried about what the child would go though…being a pureblood. The bullying can be so horrific at times. Some people refuse to shake their hatred."

"Tell me more." Shepard requested quietly, reaching for Weshra's chin, tipping it upwards to meet her eyes. Under such a solemn stare, Weshra felt compelled to speak.

"Pureblood children…are always at a disadvantage. If anything goes wrong, it is at the fault of their heritage. They cannot simply be slow, or badly behaved. It's because they're pureblood. And if they're talented and kind? Then it's surprising because-"

"Because they're pureblood." Shepard muttered. Weshra nodded, continuing,

"Often, they become isolated, not quite as social as most Asari. Probably on purpose, as the teasing can become more than just vocal, on occasion."

"Violent?" Shepard questioned, her tone incredulous.

"Yes." Weshra bit her lip, her head cocking to the side slightly. Then her eyes widened by a fraction, and her mouth curled slightly.

"Ah." She said finally, a teasing smile gracing her features.

"What?"

"Dr T'Soni. She's the one." Weshra said. "The one the rumours are about."

"You know of Liara?" Shepard asked, avoiding the insinuation, though her face coloured slightly.

"She has become…quite well known amongst the Asari. Especially after that business with her mother." Weshra's expression turned sympathetic. Shepard did not speak, but turned her body slightly to signal to the barman, requesting a fresh bottle of ale. She waited until it had been delivered and uncorked before returning to conversation,

"I never knew about purebloods. It had always been a sensitive subject for Liara. Now I see why." She said, feeling guilt trickle through her body like a poison. Weshra, still holding her hand, gave her a little shake.

"The fact you care is enough. The idea that you want to learn more is to be admired. We Asari are surprisingly simple when it comes to our bonds. You don't need to know our souls, that's left to the bonding."

"Liara must have been holding back." Shepard said without thinking, then blushed. Weshra laughed,

"Perhaps, but Commander, I think you know better than anyone, there is a war going on. I do not think now is the time to dwell on what you should have done, but what you can still do."

"And I think you should follow by example, Weshra." Shepard said, pouring equal measures once again into both their glasses. Weshra looked stricken, but was distracted by the sight of a single butterfly fluttering past, cutting through where the recent smoke had lingered.

"Yes, I suppose you are right, Commander." She said, accepting her drink. They clinked glasses and swallowed.

"I have another memory for you, Shepard, if you are interested." Weshra said, looking through the bottom of her glass. Shepard watched her, before checking the time on her omni-tool.

"Okay. But then I'm afraid I must leave." Weshra smiled simply, her eyes fading to black once more,

"Oh, I'll be quick."

They now stood in a grassy field, littered with makeshift shelters and farming machinery. A colony. Shepard could see children playing in the distance. Beside her, Weshra pointed to a large oak tree.

"Over there." Curled beneath the shade were the past Weshra and Tashya, absorbed in one another, ignoring everything else. Shepard walked towards them, her guide trailing.

"I love you." Weshra whispered to her bondmate, kissing her nose. Tashya's eyes crinkled automatically, and Weshra laughed, making her grin.

"Sometimes, I think you do that on purpose."

"Of course, dear." Tashya's hand slid up and down Weshra's arm, leaving raised skin in its wake. Their peaceful silence was interrupted by the distant laugh of children. Both Asari stiffened slightly, and their once peaceful quiet became tense.

"Tashya…" Weshra began.

"No, Weshra."

"Why by the Goddess not?" Tashya stopped her ministrations, pushing Weshra off of her, and leaning against the oak for support,

"You know why, Weshra. I've told you a million times. We've been arguing about this for nearly fifty years!" Tashya snapped, folding her arms. Weshra rolled onto her knees, crawling towards her. She reached out her hands, palming the Commando's face,

"Only because I want this so badly, Tashya. I want your child." Weshra pleaded. She kissed her bondmate gently, and just for a second, felt Tashya relax against her. Her victory was short lived however, when Tashya took her hands and placed them against her own heart.

"You have all of me, but that's all I can give, Weshra."

"Well, that's not enough!" Weshra said angrily. Tashya flinched. They sat looking at each other for what felt like eternity, before Tashya stood, brushing herself off.

"Then I apologise. But I can't stay and wait for you to change your mind while the galaxy burns." She began to walk away,

"Where are you going?"

"Command called an hour ago, I'm being sent to some monastery, I'll message you once I'm there, and you've calmed down." She called over her shoulder.

Weshra watched her leave, her expression troubled. Her hands wrapped around the blades of grass around her, and she ripped them from the ground. She could still hear the laughter of children echo in the breeze.

Shepard fell back into the Citadel much more abruptly this time. Weshra was watching her with careful eyes,

"I wanted you to see that as a reminder, Commander. Please, make sure you and Liara never have a goodbye like that. The regret…is unimaginable." Weshra stood, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing.

"Thank you for today…I don't know if we'll see each other again, but good luck with the war." And then she left, leaving Shepard sitting in shock. She sat for a long time, her connection to Weshra still holding, if only faintly. She could feel Weshra's regret, her mourning, and it was filled with a tangible pain. Once again, she found herself crying as she mulled over memories that were not hers.

And then, quite suddenly, she was standing. And then she was running, her heart beating quickly.

Liara. She had to find Liara.

One long elevator ride and countless bowled over civilians later, Shepard found herself hurtling towards the old XO office. She barely had time to remember that, at one point literally a lifetime ago, it had been hers. Oh, how time had passed.

Time. That fickle thing. She needed to get to Liara, now.

She waited with the patience of a saint (in her opinion), and was just about ready to kick the door, when the green light disassembled and granted her access.

Liara was standing by her monitors, barely looking up to greet her.

"Shepard, it's good to-" She was cut off by frantic lips pressed to hers. Her back hit her panel of numerous screens with a slight thump. Shepard gripped her shoulders, kissing her fiercely, pulling back by enough millimetres to mutter hurriedly,

"I love you, okay? I love you, and I want you to know that." She kissed her again, speaking in between embraces,

"Always. No matter what happens, I love you." When Liara detected a throaty note in the Commander's voice, she reached up to still her, peering at her face.

Commander Shepard, THE Commander Shepard, was crying.

"Shepard, as indescribably happy as your words make me, I must ask: what has brought this on?" Liara asked, reaching with her thumbs to wipe the tears away. Shepard stepped back, suddenly shy.

"I…remember the monastery? Stupid question, of course you do, I'm sorry…" She rambled. Liara stepped forward, a gentle smile on her face, though her concern was clear.

"Take your time." Liara said, taking both her hands in her own gloved ones.

"Time. Crap." Shepard breathed, shaking her head, "At the monastery, we found that dead Asari Commando, Tashya? I just spent the afternoon with her widow…I passed on her message."

"Oh, Shepard, if I had known…" Liara muttered apologetically. Shepard ran her thumbs over her hand,

"No, it was my responsibility. And I learned something so important."

"And what was that?"

"The importance of words." She said, before leaning in to kiss Liara once more.