Okay, this is, in no doubt, the stupidest fanfic I have ever written. Seriously. It literally has no meaning other than to make people laugh.

I do not own Percy Jackson or apple sauce.

Major OOCness ahead.

I got this idea while eating apple sauce. Now shhhh! The show is starting!

The Apple of My Sauce

It all started one early Thursday afternoon, and the Stoll brothers were stalking Percy Jackson.

"The apple sauce is all set. I repeat dear brother of mine, the apple sauce is all set." Travis whispered into his headset.

"Rodger that, fellow brother of mine. The target is in sight." Conner replied, gleefully watching as Percy picked up the apple sauce.

The two brothers watched as Percy ate the apple sauce... and then disappeared. His essence had been sucked into the apple sauce!

Clarisse watched evilly, and then ran to Annabeth and dared her to eat the apple sauce.

Annabeth thought, 'What a stupid dare. Oh, well. I'll do it anyway.' Then she ate the apple sauce.

Artemis and Thalia had seen the entire thing through an IM, and quickly teleported to Camp Half-Blood. Artemis then punched Annabeth while Thalia started yelling.

"You stupid girl! Couldn't you see that was Percy? Now he's dead! My dear love is dead!"

"Fear not, my ladies!" A new voice said, and everyone turned to see Nico, now Thalia's age. "Percy is not dead, I switched him with another apple sauce!"

"Oh, Nico, you're so chivalrous!" Thalia gasped. "You could have been turned, too!"

"But I was not. Now follow me, if you wish to see your love."

"Oh, Percy's not my love anymore. You are!" Thalia squealed.

"Yes, but Percy is my love." Artemis said. "Lead the way, fair Prince!"

"Gladly!" Nico replied.

+++++I realized this was a really stupid one-shot, so I made a really stupid line break. Everyone say hello to Billy Bob Joe Bob.*+++++

"Here he is!" Nico said happily.

"Thank you, Nico!" Artemis replied, waving her hand and turning Percy back into himself.

"Artemis!" Percy cried. "You saved me! Thank you!"

"You're welcome, Percy! Now come, ride into the sunset with me!" Artemis pointed at Blackjack, who was staring at everyone in confusion.

Percy leapt onto Blackjack and then offered his hand to Artemis, who took it and then jumped on behind Percy. Then another pegasus appeared, and Nico and Thalia hopped on.

Then everyone rode into the sunset, singing "We're off to see Apollo, the wonderful god of the sun! We're off to see Apollo, the wonderful god of the sun!" in tune to "We're off to see wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!"

Blackjack then turned around and mouthed to the other Pegasus, 'What the Hades is going on?' The other pegasus, who's name was Bob, shrugged and then kept singing in horse language.

Annabeth, on the beach, shook her hand up at them in anger, crying, "I'll get you one day, Percy! Mark my words!"

*giggles nervously* I told you guys it was stupid. But seriously, I came up with this idea and had to write it. I couldn't ignore it, the apple sauce god gave me the idea!

Also, I love Blackjack, so I had him be the only sane person in here. The Stolls weren't really OOC, but they weren't really sane to start with, so you see where that went... Everyone else was pretty much OOC.

*The name of the invisible person who sat next to me when I was in fourth grade. The only difference to regular invisible people was that the entire class knew he was there. No, seriously, he was there.

Hope you enjoyed!

And I dare you to review! If you don't, the Stolls will turn you into apple sauce! *the Stolls cackle evilly*