Plus Kitty Makes Three

Summary: Being the third wheel is usually the worst thing that can happen to you, that is… if you're not Pantherlily. GaLe

Disclaimer: I don't own what I don't own...

"What're you doin' shrimp?"

Levy looked up from her sitting position at her table in the Fairy Tail tavern as the large dragon slayer interrupted her conversation with Lucy. Nothing new, it happened every day anyways. "What are you talking about Gajeel?"

Lucy sighed as she quickly and quietly snuck away by bounding over the table. If Gajeel was around that basically meant that all of Levy's attention was lost on her. Lucy would go bug Natsu or something. As cute as the two generally were, they also gave her cavities and her dental costs were piling up.

"I'm talking about my Lily."

"Greetings Gajeel," Lily purred from within Levy's arms as he blinked his eyes open and rubbed them with his little paw. Until Gajeel had loudly come along Lily had been taking a nap in a pair of very soft, very warm and very inviting arms. Oh right, and along with being cute, Lily chucked the closest hardest thing he could reach at his partner. He didn't belong to anyone.

"What about Lily? We're just cuddling, isn't that right?" Levy giggled as she looked down at the Exceed and gave him an Eskimo kiss. Lily complied happily enough, who wouldn't? Levy was a gorgeous, intelligent girl and riling up Gajeel was the funnest thing Pantherlily could do. Though it did kind of suck that Levy was still staring at Gajeel while she was Eskimo kissing Pantherlily. Awkward couple much.

Gajeel's eye twitched slightly, slightly being a sad understatement, before he shot forward and stole Pantherlily from Levy's arms faster than freaking lightning. "I was wondering where m- Lily was bookworm. At least tell me when you go and fucking decide to steal my cat from me."

"Well I'm right in your arms now you big oaf!" Lily growled as he kicked his feet at his stupid partner to make Gajeel release him from his arms. Lily landed on the ground gracefully as Gajeel rubbed his sore cheek. The two were still staring at each other as Pantherlily sighed and rolled his eyes.

Gajeel frowned at Lily, for a second, before turning to Levy again, "He's my cat!"

Levy blinked as her cheeks puffed out, "What?"

"What?" Lily repeated.

"Lily's my cat, stop hogging him!"

Levy looked properly affronted, "I'm not hogging him!"

"Yes you are bookworm!" Gajeel roared as he violently sat down next to her and crossed his arms. Now Gajeel was not only staring at Levy, he was properly ogling her.

Levy pouted and gave him a mean glare (ogle) as she too crossed her arms. The two began a glaring contest and the rest of the guild shivered as sparks of electricity began to buzz around the couple. Not uncommon, but one never knew who would win and if they would suddenly start to make out right then and right there.

Pantherlily snorted and sighed as he trotted away leaving the two to their selves and hopped onto the bar. "Another lovers spat?" Mirajane asked as she leaned on her elbows and patted Lily on the head lovingly.

Lily grunted as he grabbed the tankard that Mirajane had set out for him. "I'm still amazed that they managed to get to together."

"I work magic," Mirajane grinned.

"Even so, look at them," Pantherlily snorted as he blew beer bubbles. He gestured with one free paw to the couple that were still glaring (ogling) at each other, "That's their form of sexual tension."

"I'm sure its just kind of because they love you Lily," Mirajane giggled.

Lily grunted, "Pft." More beer bubbles floated in the air.

"You're oddly cute when you go pft."

"I'm always cute."

"I'll give you that one."

"But I am not the reason that they are like that."

"True, you could cut that sexual tension with a butter knife."

"I say a spoon."

"And you're in the middle of it all? Poor Lily," Mirajane cooed.

"I suppose."

"Aren't you a lucky kitty though?"

"Don't call me kitty."

"Aren't you a lucky warrior though?"

"Better."

"So… why do you think its sexual tension?"

Pantherlily gave her a look as Mirajane smiled innocently, "I shouldn't give you an edge in all these bets."

"But we make such a great team!"

"Those two are just awkward…"

"Hm… that's obvious Lily."

"They're just so awkward with each other that what they decide to do instead is communicate their love for each other through me. Neither one of them gets it. Levy wants to snog Gajeel and Gajeel wants her to hug him to death and gets jealous over it…"

"But that gives you the good end of the deal," Mirajane laughed.

"And that's why I haven't fixed the problem yet."

"Good kitty… warrior."

"I love Lily more!" Gajeel suddenly shouted, "He's my freaking cat!"

"I love you Levy! Stop giving my stupid cat all your love, smush my face into your knockers instead!" Pantherlily mocked as he changed the pitch of his voice to match Gajeel's and scrunched his eyebrows together to try and look more like the dragon slayer.

Mirajane tried to hold back her laughter as Pantherlily took another sip of his beer. Oh how amusing it was to spike the Exceed's drink. It was her own personal revenge against Lily using her to get his favourite two people together, though it wasn't brutal since she guessed she had used him too…

"Nuh uh!" Levy retorted. She sprang to her feet and poked Gajeel in the forehead harshly before putting her hands on her waist, "Does not matter that Pantherlily is your cat, stupid Gajeel. I'm cuter and he loves me!"

"Nuh uh," Pantherlily continued to recite as his pitch rose to match that of Levy's while he still blew beer bubbles, "I'm cuter than Pantherlily, stupid Gajeel, and you should be jealous of him getting me and not the other way around!"

Gajeel growled as Levy cackled at the lump that formed on the man's face, "I'm going to get you for that shorty!"

"I want to shove you against a wall right now shorty!" Pantherlily's eyebrows pulled back together as he grunted with Gajeel's tone and slurred with ease. Mirajane continued to giggle under her breath as she listened to tipsy Lily's translations. She had found them to be the most accurate of all the dubs that went on around the guild.

Levy squealed as she dashed out of the way as Gajeel dived for her. She sprang over tavern tables and guild member's heads and before Lily really knew what was going on, he was snatched off of the bar by one little bookworm. "Whoa, the world is spinning…"

Mirajane made a half assed attempt at reaching out her arm to try and save Lily before she decided that a different plan of action would be much more amusing. She grinned at the man sitting on the other end of the bar and waved to him cheerily. The man stared back with a rightfully suspicious gaze.

"Get back here shorty!"

"I love Lily more, I love Lily more!" Levy chanted before she began to douse Pantherlily in a flurry of kisses, all over his face and paws and ears. Pantherlily grunted but said nothing. Hey… why in all names would you complain about a pretty girl kissing you? Even if she was only thinking about another man while doing so… Plus Lily was drunk… very drunk.

"Maybe he has a point with the whole sexual tension transmission thing," Mirajane snorted as she watched Gajeel turn a shade redder as Levy continued to shower kisses on Lily while still running around the place trying to keep out of Gajeel's grasp.

"Stop doing that to my cat!"

"Lily doesn't hate it! Do you Lily?" Levy asked with a slightly unsure tone as she looked down into her arms.

Lily crossed his paws and shook his head while watching the world spin. Levy giggled and kissed him again on the nose.

"I don't like it bookworm!" Gajeel took another dive in an attempt to make a grab at Levy but she was already out of reach by the time his nose hit the floor.

"Jealous?" Levy cried as she stopped running and span around on her heel to cuddle Lily under her chin.

The guild held their breaths as they all turned to Gajeel who was now standing on the spot, his shoulders rising and falling with each heavy breath that he took. Gajeel growled slightly before he crossed his arms, turned his head to the side and stuck him nose up in the air, "Why the hell would I be jealous?" He mumbled.

"Pft," Lily snorted.

Levy frowned as her eyebrows tugged together. "Well… I think that—"

BOOM!

"ARG!"

Levy and Gajeel both blinked.

The whole entire guild blinked.

Everyone turned toward the Exceed in Levy's arms.

BOOM!

The little warrior was shaking like a leaf, covering his ears and more importantly, stuffing his face into Levy's chest. Not on purpose of course… because Lily had more tact than Gajeel, but he couldn't help that fact that he hated thunder and he was too drunk to even try to hide it.

BOOM!

"Oh Lily," Levy cooed as she held him tighter to herself and sat down on the floor.

Gajeel approached the two. Levy looked up at him with wide eyes as she telepathically (or at least that's what the guild assumed) told him to join her and sit down too. Gajeel obeyed of course and plopped down next to Levy.

BOOM!

Lily shook again as Gajeel reached into Levy's arms and patted his cat on the head. Slowly Gajeel ran his thumbs over Lily's ears and pushed them down so that he wouldn't be able to hear the thunder anymore.

"I think we should go home Gajeel," Levy murmured as she tipped her head so that she rested on the large man's shoulder.

Gajeel laughed as he kissed Levy on the forehead, "Your place or mine?"

"How about our place you big dork," Levy giggled as she kissed Gajeel on the nose.

Gajeel grinned again as he stood up and pulled Levy up along with him. He opened the guild door and frowned at the sunny sky. Levy sighed as she cuddled the terrified Lily into an alcohol induced slumber slumber.

No one scared their kitty on purpose.

Gajeel and Levy resigned to kill Laxus later.

Said man was sitting at the end of Mirajane's bar. He held up a hand to return Mirajane's high five. "Protection and free liquor?"

"As was promised."

So... I don't know if I liked how the plot bunny in my head turned out o.o... tell me what you think haha