"Lily, Lily, my darling Lily-flower, what can I do for you today?"

"Since when do you call me Lily-flower, Potter?"

"Since forever, my darling!"

"Can it, Potter."

"But I love you, Lily-flower!"

"Potter, I'll pay you to shut up."

"Will the payment be a kiss from my darling red-haired maiden?"

"You're a prat."

"But I'm your prat."

"Oh, that's just revolting on so many levels."

"But which is the level that will bring me what I crave most – Love from you?"

"You're acting even stranger than usual today, Potter. This is a first."

"I am simply overcome with the joy of seeing you!"

"No one could be this irritating without help – Not even you, Potter. Did Black feed you another love potion?"

"I do not need a potion to feel love for you."

"Quite melodramatic today, aren't we?"

"Only the best for you, Lily-flower."

"You've never called me flower before today."

"I have called you Lily-flower since the first time I met you, Lily-flower, my most darling princess!"

"No you haven't. And don't call me princess. Or Lily-flower. Or any other ridiculous nickname you can come up with."

"Then what shall I call you? I can call you anything you want."

"Don't call me anything, Potter. Especially not Lily-flower."

"Of course, beautiful."

"…I said don't call me anything. You are acting quite peculiar. Maybe I should take you to Professor Slughorn, to see if there's any potion diluting your system. Essence of Insanity, perhaps?"

"I am insane for you."

"Oh, Merlin, this just gets worse and worse. Why can't you just do you usual flirting, ask me out, I'll say no, and we'll repeat in the morning? This constant…whatever you're doing is getting annoying."

"I'd do anything for you, Lily-flower."

"MERLIN, QUIT CALLING ME THAT!"