Based on the following Hetalia Kink Meme Request;

But while Americans aren't as dumb as the world seems to think (we just have exceptionally loud idiots), geography really isn't at the forefront of many Americans' attention. I personally think this is due to a big country mindset that figures: "Hey, different state. All these weirdoes speak funny here, too. I'll make fun of them back home. Still, it's the same awesome country. And they're also Americans, therefore also awesome."

Point being, there's the old joke that "War is the universe's way of teaching American's geography."

I want the other nations to find America, who has been stressed and busy these last couple of months, carefully looking over maps and brochures that are NOT of the United States. Buying into this stereotype, the other nations start thinking America is planning another war. The panic gets worse when America starts asking them about their capitals, famous sites, cultural festivals, what the weather is like at a certain time of year, etc.

There can be urgent world meetings, unlikely partners coming together, backstabbing, raising of alarms, sexual favors, whatever you'd like. Just have everyone panicking and trying to make sure America isn't looking too closely at them.

The real reason America's doing all this: he's been allowed to go on vacation and his boss (Obama) wants him to pick up some culture while abroad. America's intentions are perfectly innocent. It's just the others don't see it that way. Whether America is aware of this or not is left to be seen...

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Please Read: As always terrible grammar, and writing and rated for English's (and possibly Romano's mouth). You have been warned.

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Prologue:

In Which Madness Begins

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It was late Monday morning when Alfred F. Jones, personification of the United States of America finally managed to drag himself out of bed. His steps were sluggish as he entered the White House ID out and present as he moved past the guards.

Aching and sneezing up a storm, Alfred had been ill for three years—since the 2009 Recession had started, and although he was much better now than he had been, he was not one hundred percent better.

"AH-CHOO!" He sneezed barely managing to cover his nose with a tissue. The door in front of him though wasn't so lucky.

Obama signed watching Alfred try and enter the Oval Office slightly. (The guard jumped at the unexpected sound.)

His nation really was quite sick.

A sudden thought hit him.

"Alfred?"

"Yes, boss?" (Though his words sounded more like "Y's Bus?", he said as he blew his nose.)

"Alfred, why don't you take a vacation?"

Alfred looked at him. "A vacation? Now? But what about the recession? And those bills? I know the Republicans weren't too happy with me after the last session, but it was an accident—!" By this point Alfred was nearly frantic. He knew was needed here, not somewhere else. He couldn't just leave—

Barack shook his head. "This isn't about the last session or the Republicans. You need a break. You've been working eighty hour weeks for the last two years. Enough is enough. The economy is improving, so please take a vacation."

"But—" Alfred started already to argue, but look in his boss's eyes stopped him. "Fine. But I'll be back Monday—"

"In December."

Alfred gaped at him. December was eight months away! Was his boss crazy?

"Next week."

"In December." Obama pressed, crossing his arms.

Alfred relented knowing how stubborn his boss could be. "Alright. But if anything happens—"

"I'll let you know. Just take your cell, and I'll keep you updated."

Alfred smiled. "Good. Well, I guess I see you later?"

Obama nodded, and waved him out. "Have fun!"

Alfred grinned. "I try." He walked out discarding his used tissue in the trash can in the hallway, and passed the guards waving as he left.

It was going to be long eight months before he saw his capital again.

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Author's Note: Rather choppy, but I hope it'll do. Right now I'm trying to write the next chapter of 'Secret About America' but I can't seem to find the file. Stupid jump drives, always getting lost. So pretty please reader, don't kill me for starting another story! I'll update the others too, I promise!

Please Read and Review—

Alfred must plan world domination (a.k.a vacation planning)!