Roxas time!

It's about time I explain about Roxas. Oh this'll be so fun!

Chapter 7: The Assassin

I know how I feel,
This much is true
But I can never seem to convey my heart's message to you.
I stutter and I falter
And I make such a terrible mess
The hesitant words that come from my mouth make little sense
As I over-analyze each and every thought in my head
And dread the outcome from the words I've never said.

~Complications of the Heart by Cerridwen Rose

"I require your assistance." Roxas said flatly as Sora came through the front door.

The brunette blinked at him for a confused moment. "Uh…ok. With what?"

Roxas' eyes darted around the foyer as he said, "Follow me,"

Sora numbly followed behind the mysterious blond as they went up the stairs. Sora had just gotten back from work and he hadn't expected Roxas to pop out of nowhere and ask for his help. Sora had thought that Roxas could do anything. If Roxas needed help with something then what made him think someone as noddley as Sora could help? Roxas' face had shown nothing while they talked but he had been nervously fidgeting with his hands. One day Sora had to sit the man down and teach him about emotions. He didn't know how but he'd try to make Roxas…normal.

Riku was probably in his study doing whatever the hell he did there but he always stopped doing what he was doing if Sora came into the room. Right now Sora just wanted to sit on Riku's lap and listen to him talk about what he was working on. He was always so animated when he was talking about work and Sora loved the twinkle in his eyes when he did. Sora couldn't actually refuse Roxas because he wasn't that kind of person. When someone needed his help he'd give it to them.

Sora emerged onto the second floor balcony and was welcomed by the icy cold wind. Few stars twinkled in the night sky and barren lands were strung upon the horizon. The outer limits of Twilight Town was either beach or meadow and on this side of the city was the meadow. Its bright green color was lost in the darkness casting an eerie feeling over Sora. He shook it off and sat down on one of the chairs. Roxas had moved towards the railing and now his back was to Sora. It wasn't like the brunette needed to see his face because it wouldn't do him any good. Sora felt another one of Roxas' trademark awkward silences coming and he bit his lip in annoyance. Couldn't the man just talk for once?

"So…what do you need help with?" Sora asked lamely.

Roxas didn't reply.

Sora sighed and said, "There must be a reason you brought me out here."

He was silent again.

"Roxas—"

"I…don't know how to put it in words." Roxas finally said. His back was still to Sora but the brunette could notice him tightening his grip on the rail.

"…What?"

Sora could hear the blond take in several breaths before he spoke. "What is love?"

"…ah….um…it's…it…" Sora stuttered. Emotions! Of course Roxas needed help. He had no idea how to understand his emotions. Wait he could actually feel?

"Is it a difficult question?" Roxas asked as he finally turned around. His head was cocked to the side in some form of curiosity.

"Uh, no. I just…" Sora stopped himself. Time to get serious. "You can't really define it. You just know it."

"I don't understand."

Sora smiled and let his eyes fall closed. "It's when you wake up in the morning and your first thought is about the person you care about the most. It's the happy feeling you get when you're beside that person. It's the giddy, dreamy feeling you get when he touches you or when he looks at you. It's the sadness you feel when you're not beside him or when you have no idea where he is. It's the complete and utter peaceful feeling you have when he's with you and it's the feeling that you can take on the world as long as he is beside you."

"Do you love Riku?" Roxas asked after a brief moment of silence.

Sora's eyes snapped open. His face flushed and his thoughts were immediately filled with what he had just said. He had been practically describing himself. He knew what he felt for Riku was strong and that it bordered love but…he didn't know if he loved the man. Love was a strong thing and saying it was even stronger. Sora's thoughts always came to Riku whenever he woke up and he couldn't deny the delight he felt when Riku looked at him or put his arms around him. Riku's smile could put him to his knees but Sora had thought that was just Riku's seductive nature. Did he actually love him? Fuck, he did. Goddamn it, Roxas.

"I…do." He said quietly.

"Have you told him?" Roxas and his damn questions.

"It's not that easy, Roxas. You have to be sure they love you back and you have to be able to handle the rejection if they don't."

"But he does," Roxas said blankly.

"…What?"

"He loves you too." Roxas repeated. "Everything you just said matches exactly what he said when I asked him what love was."

"I…" Sora shook his head. "What does this have to do with you anyway?"

Great…silence once again.

"Roxas," Sora sighed. "You've got to stop with this silence. Just tell me."

"I believe I am in love with Axel." He whispered.

Sora couldn't help but smile. "That's great! Do you think he loves you back? What am I saying? Of course he does. When are you going to tell him? This is so exciting! I can't wait to—Roxas?"

The man's eyes had fallen to the floor the moment Sora had started speaking. "You do not understand. This isn't 'great'."

"Why?" Sora asked in genuine puzzlement.

Roxas turned back to the railing. "I wasn't lying when I told you that I was born to kill. I was born into Organization XIII and I was born with the specific purpose to kill. Nothing more, nothing less. From the moment I could hold something I was taught how to hold a gun. I shot my first gun when I was six and I first killed a man when I was eight. The Organization had taught me to live in the shadows and never be seen unless I wanted to be. I move silently wherever I go and I am always on guard. I was conditioned to feel nothing and for as long as I can remember I have never felt anything but now that I have defected from the Organization my conditioning is slowly wearing away. I'm beginning to think that I have always felt but not strongly enough for myself to notice."

"Everyone feels, Roxas." Sora said softly as he stood up. "It doesn't matter what you feel it just matters that you do. You still haven't told me why loving Axel isn't ok."

"I'm…" Roxas couldn't finish.

"Roxas," Sora placed his hand on the man's arm and he immediately tensed up. Sora took his hand away and gave him an apologetic smile. "It's better to let it out then keep it bottled up inside."

Roxas let out a breath. "I'm scared."

"That's completely understandable. You've never felt anything before and now you're feeling something as strong as love. It's nothing to be afraid of."

"That's not it." Roxas whispered. "I'm afraid that I might…hurt Axel. I'm afraid that if I let my guard down I'll hurt the person I love the most. I don't just keep my guard up because I was taught to. I keep it up to keep from hurting anyone. If I let my guard down then what will happen?"

"You won't know until you try." Sora said soothingly. "Who says that you have to completely let it down? Just put it down enough so that you can let Axel in."

"How can I do that?"

"You'll know when the time comes." Sora smiled.

Roxas was silent again but this time Sora allowed it. The man needed time to think and let the words soak in so Sora left him on the balcony. It was strange seeing the stoic, cold, emotionless Roxas breakdown like that. Well, he broke down in the way Roxases do. Not only did Sora change Roxas' mind but the blond got him thinking about things too. Sora hadn't thought too deeply about love but now…should he tell Riku that he loved him? The silverette hadn't really hinted at loving him back but it was worth a shot. What harm could it do if the man rejected it? So fucking much. The only time he's said the three words was to his mother and look at how that flipping turned out.

Sora quietly opened the study door and found Riku angrily staring down at the papers on his desk. He didn't look like he wanted to talk to anyone. Sora was about to leave when Riku lifted his head. His eyes landed on the brunette and his body immediately relaxed. He waved the man forward and Sora happily smiled at him as he approached. Riku scooted back in his chair and held his arm out. Sora eagerly sat himself in Riku's lap and draped his legs over his side. Sora wrapped his arms around Riku's neck and rested his head on the man's shoulder.

"When'd you get back?" Riku's chest vibrated with every word he spoke and Sora took comfort in the fact that his voice could only be this gentle for him.

"Half an hour ago," Sora sighed. "Roxas and I were having an interesting conversation."

"About?"

"Can't tell," Sora smiled. He had a feeling Roxas didn't want anyone knowing about his sudden lapse into emotions just yet. "Scout's honor,"

"Oh boo," Riku chuckled.

He ran his fingers softly through Sora's hair and the man purred in response. "I'll tell you one day."

"I can't wait." Riku smirked. He placed a chaste kiss to Sora's head and the brunette shivered under his touch.

This couldn't be anything else. This was what love was. This was what Sora was feeling. This was what was making his heart swell with undeniable affection and longing. Just say it. This was what he was feeling so he should tell the man responsible for it.

"Riku," Sora pulled away enough to look the silverette in the eye. "I…"

What if he rejects you?

What if he looks at you with disgust?

What if he doesn't feel the same way?

"Hmm?" Riku raised a brow.

What if he brushes it off with a laugh?

What if you destroy your relationship just by saying those words?

"…Nothing," Sora smiled.

He pressed his lips to Riku's and marveled in the light, fluffy feeling in his chest. Riku eagerly returned the kiss and repositioned Sora so his knees were on either side of him. Riku's fingers trailed down Sora's spine causing the man to shutter with delight. Those same fingers found their way under Sora's shirt and slowly began pulling it up.

"Weren't…weren't you working on something?" Sora gasped.

"It can wait." Riku rasped. "Everything can wait."

Riku gracefully pulled both of their shirts off and swiftly pushed up from the chair. In one quick movement Sora found his back pressed against the papers Riku had been working on moments earlier. The silverette licked his lips seductively and brought his fingers to Sora's belt. The latter sighed longingly and traced the man's abs. Riku was the only one who could do this to him. One touch was all he needed to give in to temptation. One touch and he was submitting his entire body to Riku. One touch and his entire life wouldn't matter. This was what Riku could do to him.

I love you.

One day he'd say it and one day he was sure he'd hear it back.

Roxas' fist connected with the dummy's jaw sending it toppling to the ground. He let out an exasperated sigh and brought the dummy back up for the millionth time. Riku needed to get new sparring dummies. They could easily fall from the softest hit and it annoyed the hell out of Roxas. Every time Roxas asked him to get new ones he would always explain how the dummy actually works. It had a weighted base of over 200 pounds and it was designed to stay up from the toughest hit. Riku had constantly said that Roxas' strength rivaled that of a god and Roxas couldn't argue with that. But the goddamned training dummy didn't need to fall after EVERY HIT.

Roxas backed up and eyes the tattered, overused dummy in contempt. His spinning jump kick practically broke the object in half. Roxas let out a frustrated roar and tackled the dummy to the ground. He began throwing flurries of punched that pounded the dummy into the floor. With every hit Axel's fucking face kept popping into his head. He could tell that the stitches on the dummy's neck were being pushed to the brink but he wouldn't stop. He could hear the distinct rip of one side of it but he couldn't stop. He needed to get Axel's face out of his head. One good right hook sent the dummy's head rolling to the other side of the room.

Roxas let out several gasping breaths as he hung his head. This was supposed to be relieving his frustration not adding to it. Why did he have to fall in love with Axel? Why did he have to fall in love in the first place? He wasn't meant to feel anything but right now he was having an emotional breakdown. He had practically broken down in front of Sora and now he was ripping apart an innocent sparring dummy. Roxas had become so fucked up ever since he left the Organization. And because of Axel he's gone from the icy assassin he used to be to this emotional sack of shit. He hides his internal turmoil quite well though. To others he looks utterly impassive but he is actually fighting the constant inner chaos within himself. Of course only Axel could see past his clever ruse.

"Damn, Roxas." Axel's smooth voice cut into his thoughts. "I didn't know you hated the dummy so much."

Roxas slowly turned around to find the subject of his disorder leaning against the door frame. He had a small smirk on his face as he eyed the man on the floor.

"The dummy is too weak." Roxas panted. He slowly stood up and turned towards the redhead. "It is unable to handle my punches."

"I know that look." Axel smirked as he came into the room. "You're dealing with something serious. You usually attack the training room to figure out how to do something. You tear apart everything in your path until you find a solution and that dummy on the floor is evidence of my claim. So, why don't you take on something that can actually take your punches?"

Axel dropped his jacket off by the door and circled Roxas. He loosened up his shoulders and smiled at the blond in the center of the room. "Why are you doing this?"

"Well," Axel sighed. "You never tell me what's wrong and you always mope around the training room. This is my way of helping."

"Fine," Roxas muttered.

"So serious," Axel said playfully as he raised his hands. "Alright, put em up."

Axel had no idea what he was getting himself into. Roxas was in here because of Axel and the redhead thinks that he can actually help Roxas relieve his frustration? Fine, whatever. It doesn't matter anymore.

Roxas opened up with a swift move to the left and a left hook. Axel easily dodged it and retaliated with a teasing smile. Roxas bit his lip angrily and was momentarily entranced by Axel's bright green eyes. Axel's eyes always seemed to make his chest hurt and he'd feel like a bumblebee attracted to honey. He'd just need to be beside the man or at least be in the same room. Finally remembering that he was in a battle, Roxas had only seconds to realize that Axel had moved behind him. He felt the man's hand on his wrist and he roughly twisted Roxas' arm so that it was pressed up against his back. Roxas tried moving away but Axel's grip was strong.

"You seem distracted, Roxas." Axel's hot breath ghosted over his skin and Roxas shivered in response.

Roxas had no idea how Axel's touch could be so deadly yet completely gentle at the same time. Only Axel was allowed to touch him and whenever he did, Roxas' entire body would melt underneath him. Roxas hated how he could be reverted to a pinned puppy whenever he and Axel were fighting. It didn't matter if Roxas was completely invisible in the darkness. Axel would always manage to pin him down and make the blond wonder if Axel had been born just like him. But he wasn't. He had been born into a normal life in The World That Never Was and he had stumbled upon the Organization by accident. With all of his knowledge of the man, Roxas still didn't know what Axel was fully capable of. His mastery of the martial arts and his excellent use of firearms made him a force to be reckoned with.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?" Axel asked as he adjusted his grip on Roxas' wrist.

Roxas lightly tapped Axel's leg with the heel of his foot, signaling his surrender. Axel released the man and the blond turned around fully to look him in the eye. Axel had a truly concerned look on his face and it made Roxas feel something again. Roxas balled his hands into fists and looked away. His emotions were running wild again and he knew he had to stop this. Roxas took in a breath and prepared for impact.

"I love you." He looked away after he had said it.

Axel remained silent.

This was what Sora had told him about. This was the rejection he had to prepare for.

"This was what got you so worked up?" Axel asked after a really long silence.

"Yes," Roxas said sharply.

Axel brought his hand up and ran his fingers through Roxas' hair. He moved that same hand down to the man's face and cupped his cheek. He made the silly assassin look up at him and Roxas saw the most compassionate look he had ever seen. "You didn't need to freak out so much about that—"

"I've never felt anything before and I didn't—"

"Because I love you too." Axel finished.

"What?"

"I thought it was stupid of me to have fallen in love with someone who had no emotions whatsoever and I had thought it was virtually impossible for you to feel the same way so I had decided that just being your friend would be enough for me but now…"

"How long have you been in love with me?" Roxas asked quietly.

"A really long time," Axel whispered.

"I'm sorry." Roxas said weakly.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." Axel said as he leaned down and brushed his lips against Roxas' cheek. He was about to lean in for a kiss but a hand on his chest stopped him.

"Axel, I…don't know how to—"

"Shh," Axel whispered. "Just follow my lead."

Axel pressed his lips to Roxas' and the assassin had a feeling that having emotions wasn't all that bad.

I was going to update on the 23rd but I got a message about the Blackout Day.

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