Just a little fluffy Klaroline oneshot based on a scene in Birds, Bees, and Other Beasts. If you like Klaroline, I suggest you go read it. (:

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries.

Drunk Mouth, Sober Thoughts

"A drunk mouth will spew sober thoughts."

So what if Caroline was spending her time wallowing in self-pity in a club? She'd even taken a special precaution to use her vampire speed and endurance to get to a town about an hour out of the way. There would be no one she knew and she could just continue her pity-party all night if she so pleased.

She glared at her half-empty beer bottle in front of her, wishing for something a little harsher with a little more burn. This just wasn't doing enough for her; she was just barely tipsy and it was a day to drown her sorrows.

"Hello, there."

It was a man who thought himself charming, Caroline could guess. Unfortunately, she was too used to another level of charming; a British lilt could make the most insulting words sound almost erotic. Oh, dear God. I need to stop thinking about this kind of stuff. Knowing better than to actually hit herself as she had been planning to, she glanced over with a half-assed, "Hello," before turning back to down her beer. She quickly ordered a shot of Jack Daniels as the man standing next to her moved closer.

"What's a lovely lady like you doing alone on a Friday night? Or am I interfering with a woman that's spoken for?"

His words hit a chord within her, reminding her of the man she had come all this way to forget. The feeling made her give him a second look. His hair was blonde-blonde, like All-American blonde. Brown eyes sparkled with interest as they watched her, mixing a bit with desire. He was probably just an inch or two taller than her when she wore her heels, which put him at about six foot. Broad shoulders tapered down into lean hips, muscles clearly visible—beefy—beneath the sleeves of his blue T-shirt.

Maybe she could use a drinking buddy for the night. "Actually, I'm coming off a long-distance relationship." And a creepily sweet suitor. She shot him a beautiful smile. "But I'd love some company if you're up for it." She saw him wavering and, fearing the loneliness seeping into her consciousness, turned up the charm. Reaching out a hand, she lightly brushed a bulging bicep, looking up at him through lowered lashes with her signature grin. "It's been a long time since I was with someone that had so much potential to be...interesting."

The desire was back in his eyes and he sat down, leaning forward to order two shots of Liquid Cocaine for him and "his pretty lady". The bartender got it quickly, forcing Caroline to down her Jack quickly.

"So," the man started, giving her an ear-to-ear grin, "am I allowed to ask for your name or should I just keep calling you beautiful?"

It grated on her nerves to think that someone might call her by an endearment. That was his thing, one she didn't exactly know how she felt about. Ergo, the need for more to drink. Taking the shot of Liquid Cocaine like a champ, she said, "I'm Caroline," holding out her hand for him to shake.

He took it. "Caroline, I'm Henry. You sure you're old enough for all of this?" he asked, motioning towards the two refilling shot glasses in front of her. "You can't be more than eighteen."

No, she wasn't. But a vampire really didn't have a need for "human conventions", did they? Of course, she wasn't about to tell him that. "Actually, I just turned twenty-two a couple weeks ago," she answered easily, giving enough information to satisfy, but not enough to make her lie detectable. She had to be careful when dealing with humans; she couldn't be sure if compulsion would work with all of them since she still couldn't smell when someone had ingested vervain.

"Well, happy late birthday, Caroline!" he said happily, raising his shot—he doesn't intend to get drunk with me—for her to clink with her own. Perhaps she was just drunk, but she thought she saw a flicker of something darker in those eyes. Suddenly, she became more aware of his every movement, how his left hand had remained in the pocket of his jacket even as he leaned on that elbow towards her. His eyes flickered to her drink every once in awhile, as if waiting for her to let go of it for even a second.

Oh, you are totally messing with the wrong girl tonight, Henry. Smirking, she showed a little more of her drunk and eager self—eager to leave a particular man out of her mind since he had effectively ruined her relationship—grabbing his arms and leaning forward. "I love this song," she breathed, voice low and seductive. Running her fingers to the back of Henry's head, she put her mouth to his ear, much to his surprise. "Will you dance with me? Just one dance and then I want to get out of here. Will you take me home?"

He hid his shock well, covering it with a smile as that elusive left hand finally left his pocket. "I'd love to," he replied huskily, hand slipping to the small of her back to lead her to the dance floor.

That was when she realized how very little she was actually wearing. To be true to cliché vampire form, she'd worn a black, backless mini-dress that clung to her curves, coupled with strappy, open-toed Jimmy Choos. Her green eyes were dramatically outlined and enhanced with just the right amount of eyeliner and eye-shadow. Lips painted cherry red, she knew that she was playing up the vamp/seductress part of her Damon was sure was hiding beneath the surface. Her hair was pulled up into much the same hairstyle she'd worn for the Mikaelson ball, though a little less coiffed.

The sense of being watched assailed her as she and Henry moved to the dance floor and she glanced around, sucking in a deep breath when she thought she saw telltale rusty-brown hair bobbing through the crowd. Blinking, it was gone, reminding her that she was an hour away; he couldn't know where she was, wouldn't have shown up so far away from his precious doppelganger and her endless supply of blood.

I'm not Snow White, but I'm lost inside his forest.
I'm not Red Riding Hood, but I think the wolves have got me.

The song quickly took Caroline over as she danced with Henry, not afraid to get up close and personal in the club. Though she couldn't stop her mind from wandering, she couldn't help semi-seducing Henry to keep him from trying his stunts on another girl. A human girl. She'd been used before; it left you feeling dirty and useless. She wasn't about to allow him to make someone else feel that way.

The beat continued to build within her as she lost herself, dancing closer to the man that she was determined to leave with his memory wiped of anything that could have to do with his little game. Soon, his arms were wrapped around her waist, his eyes on her mouth as she brought him closer with an arm around the back of his neck. Her lips were just below his, whispering the last line of words there. "Take me to Wonderland..."

Suddenly Henry was torn away from her, her wrist captured by a bruising force locked around it.

Henry stumbled back to right himself, eyes narrowing on the man holding his dance partner. "Hey, man, that girl's with me. How about you go find someone else?"

Before he even spoke, Caroline knew who it was that held her so roughly. She also knew that Henry would be cocky because of the down-played muscles lacing the other man's arms. He would think that he was stronger, not realizing that he was poking a sleeping, ornery lion.

"Mate, this isn't the time for you to think that you are 'badass', as you Americans say." Thank God he said "Americans" not "humans". "I'm taking this girl home before you use that magic little pill in your pocket and bite off more than you can chew." His voice was harsh and she could tell that he was barely holding himself back. Perhaps he was a little too worried that she would leave his sight if he started a bloodbath.

Glancing up at him, Caroline was struck by how hot he was when he was in full-protective mode. Where he usually held a maniacal, calm air just before he was ripped someone's heart out of their chest, his jaw was clenched now, his hand flexing against the flesh of her wrist. The blue of his eyes was darkened with fury as he easily sized up his opponent.

"Klaus," she whispered, knowing he could hear her perfectly. "I don't know what you're doing here, but I don't want to deal with your drama right now." At least, that was how she intended it to come out. The alcohol, mixing with her anger, made her tongue feel foreign in her mouth, too heavy to move properly.

The Hybrid glared down at her, growling, "Love, I wouldn't mess with me right now, especially since you can barely stand on your own feet." Blushing, she was at a loss for words as he turned back to Henry. "Leave here," he ordered, eyes dilating to compel the young man. Glancing at her, he rolled his eyes and added, "And never try your little tricks on a woman ever again."

Before she could see if it had worked on Henry, the pissed off Original was storming back to the entrance of the building, snarling at anyone that got in their way so viciously that no one dared look him in the eye. Abruptly, he threw her into the front seat of his car—some beautiful model of black Mercedes—quickly going into the driver's seat and peeling like a madmen out of his haphazard parking spot.

The first ten minutes of the car ride were silent as Caroline tried to think of something to say to break the tension. Of course, when she finally noticed the speed at which they were traveling, she couldn't help bracing herself on the dashboard, crying out, "Slow down! You're going to kill us!"

He laughed, patronizing her as he shifted gears to go even faster. "Sweetheart, we're a little less fragile than you were back in your human days." Sending her a dark smile, he added, "I haven't even begun to punish you for your insolence yet; believe me, I won't let you die before I hand it out."

That infuriated her and, in her drunken state, she leaned over the center console, shouting at him as she let loose anything that had ever bothered her about him. "You know, you're pretty cocky coming in there and just dragging me off the dance floor! I had everything under control; I'm a vampire, as you said. Besides, how did you know that I was even there? And don't try to tell me that you just showed up; I went there so I knew you wouldn't be there! Last I heard, you were hanging out at the Grill, getting drunk with your brother!"

He didn't spare her a glance as she continued her tirade on everything he'd ever done to her or her friends, her intoxication hitting her even harder as the alcohol settled more firmly in her empty stomach. Unfortunately for her, she was getting more and more tired by the second and he was definitely taking notice.

Trying to wake herself up, she listened to her idiot-brain when it told her to go all in. "You think that just because I find you attractive that I'm just going to do as you say? You might've come from a time where that was how things worked, but you're living in the twenty-first century, so get used to it! And if you would stop with this whole evil-hybrid stuff and leave my friends alone, I would probably like you on more than just a physical level!" Some part of her mind was telling her to stop, to think about what she just told him, but she was distracted by the clear surprise on his face, mixing with pleasure.

"You find me attractive?" he asked hopefully as the silence started to invade her senses.

Without a thought, she slurred, "Of course I do! I'd have to be stupid to not think you were smoking hot! But I don't dig the bad guys. Nope, I went down that road with Damon and I will not be used like that again, so keep whatever you're thinking to yourself, mister." She shook her finger at him, intending for it to be a little more threatening, though it was more like when a child tried to reprimand their parent.

That was when she realized that he was slowing down considerably and pulling over onto the shoulder of the road. He smirked at her as she looked around in surprise, wondering how he'd gotten her back so fast. Hands going to either side of her face, he said, "I hope you don't mind, love; this might be the only chance I get."

With that, his mouth swooped down on hers, capturing her with a frenzy that she couldn't understand. So, she acted on instinct, pulling him closer as his tongue swept into her mouth. Her fingers were tangled in his hair as she felt her body heat rising, leaving her wanting more and more. He gave a groan of approval before pushing her farther, demanding more from the kiss.

But then he stopped, pulling away and going back to driving the car as if he hadn't just given her the best—and briefest—make out session of her entire life.

"Why...why did you do that?" she asked, fingers going to her lips as she settled back into her seat, heart beating wildly in her chest.

He shrugged. "Been feeling like I should for awhile. So I did as I wished."

Was she angry about it? Her mind was so muddled, she couldn't tell. She would decide in the morning, once her head was back on her shoulders and light once again. Yawning, she settled into her seat, feeling the make up she wore smeared across her face. But she was too tired to even wipe at it or try to fix it. If someone saw her—doubtful, since her mother was either asleep or working—she would simply say she'd gotten the best kiss she'd ever had.

In what felt like the blink of an eye to her, they pulled up in front of her house. Liz's car wasn't there, nor were there any lights on; she must have been out.

As Caroline tried to step out of the passenger seat, she nearly tripped, Klaus's steady hand holding her upright. Even that, however, didn't do much to help her for long and, without a word, he scooped her up in his arms, holding her close to his chest.

"You...you don't have to carry me," she whispered, burying her face into his neck, breathing a sigh of contentment that made his heart clench in his chest. "I can...w-walk!"

"Shh, love," he mumbled just above her ear as he opened the door gracefully. "You'll be in bed soon enough and then you can sleep it off." He quickly and quietly made his way through the house, bringing them to her room just as she gave a faint sound of argument against his skin. Laying her down on the bed, he stopped her when she tried to stand up. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. I'm sure you've had a day to deserve it."

She rested against her mattress, seeming content, until he went to leave. Her thin fingers wrapped around one of his, catching his full attention immediately. Any touch from her could do that to him. "Klaus? I know we're supposed to be enemies"—her voice was barely audible, even to him—"but will you stay with me until I fall asleep? I'm not used to sleeping without someone in the house."

He stared at her, perplexed by her words. She wanted him to stay? Surely it was the alcohol talking. But could he say no to her when she looked so...innocent?

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he took the hand that had grabbed him in both of his, rumbling, "I'll be here until you fall asleep, Caroline."

The blonde woke up the next morning with her hair undone, make up smeared, and pajamas on. Lying on her vanity was another velvet jewelry case. Opening it slowly, she found a rolled up sketch of...herself. She was asleep, her hair a mess, with a soft smile on her face. In the bottom right corner of the page, there was a message, just as there always was.

Thank you, Caroline. I hope drunk mouths really do say sober thoughts. Klaus

What the hell had happened last night?

Oh, Caroline. Just fall in love with him already!