Chapter 1: Out of place

This was no place for the brunette that usually hid between the pages of a book, or the cage of a field hockey mask. However no, a cloud of smoke stung her eyes and nostrils as she walked through the door of the club. Aria loved dragging her places against her will, which were totally not her scene. The punk music raved and bodies continued to pack into the already crammed space.

"let's get a drink" aria called out into her ear hoping to be heard, but if that didn't work her hand gesturing toward the bar gave Spencer all the same indication. Aria's tiny frame pushed through the crowd, as they approached the bar Spencer realized Aria's sudden excitement out roar was due to the fact that Ezra had appeared at the bar. Clearly this was unexpected. Her ears stung from the bass, but still she tried to read their lips and follow the conversation. All she could make out was that this was in fact, a surprise. They embraced tightly and kissed. The pang of jealousy stung in Spencer's stomach, as she longed for that feeling of unconditional love. She hadn't felt it since Toby went far away to college, with Jenna, and left her heart in pieces. She was finally moving on, and putting those pieces back together. She slumped down on a bar stool a few seats away from Aria and Ezra's never ending embrace. She lifted her hand to call the bar tender over; when that didn't catch her eye she tried yelling to get her attention, nothing was working.

"The trick is in the money, no busy bartender is gonna show anyone any respect, unless your not flashing as least a 20$." Someone was in her ear and she could actually understand them, that voice. She knew that voice. She spun in her chair to see Hanna's blonde curls and blue eyes staring back at her, her eyes widened as she engulfed her in a hug.

"What are you doing here!" she exclaimed slightly to the side of Hanna's head so her voice would be heard.

"Visiting Emily! She goes to Penn state!" Hanna shouted back.

"I go to Penn state!" Spencer briefly wondered why she hadn't seen Emily in the past semester. It kind of bummed her out knowing Emily was there at school with her the whole time, all the while she had been rather lonely. No one understood her type A personality better then Em always had, and she was having trouble making friends. Especially since the 4 of them had drifted a lot since college started. Oddly enough by chance the 4 of them had ended up at the same bar, on the same busy, Saturday night. Hanna laughed,

"I know! But I don't think Emily did till today!" She screamed again. By now Aria and Ezra joined our small pack, and I wondered where Emily was. I turned back to the bar to try yet again to get a soda or something for myself. Hanna reached over my shoulder and flagged the bartender back with a $50. The blonde girl leaned forward,

"What can I get you girls?" she asked with a sweet smile, Spencer glared at her.

"Diet coke." she replied annoyance evident in her voice. The music had died down a bit, as the band had packed up after their last song, and now a DJ was taking over. Hanna giggled,

"Vodka tonic, with a lime please" she handed the bill to the girl. The bartender left for a few to fetch them drinks,

"Thanks Han." Spencer smiled at her friend, she was so glad to see her, especially since neither Aria nor Ezra had taken their eyes off each other since they had arrived. But where was Emily? The bartender set their drinks and Hanna's change on the counter,

"Han, grab me a jack and Ginger please" someone called out behind us, Hanna didn't turn around, only flagged the girl down for yet another drink. Spencer however whipped around and smiled hugely at the figure, as they walked back to the dance floor. Emily.

The darker skinned girl didn't even notice Spencer, at first. She had her hands on the waist of some other brunette with shoulder length hair, she was laughing as Emily whispered in her ear. The girl brought her hands up to Emily's face and kissed her with a lot of heated emotion. Again Spencer's stomach stung with jealously at yet another couple. She turned back to her blonde friend,

"You know what, I'll take whatever your having, fuck this!" Hanna followed her gaze, and gave a questioning look,

"Ha, don't let Em fool you Spencer, she hasn't been in a relationship since Maya passed. She may look amused, but she hasn't been her happy go lucky self in a long time." Maybe, Hanna understood the lonely side of things,

"Are you still with Caleb, or?" Hanna smiled,

"Yeah, were doing okay, he's excelled at like every tech class our university has to offer! Ever since we put A to rest senior year, things are okay for me, just boring. Ironic huh? Aria said you were having trouble adjusting, now that Emily's in sight maybe you two can catch up! From what I've seen the past two days, she may not be happy; but between the random sex, washed up with all the booze, she's created a good simulation, plus she seems to be fitting in where she wants to." she gave Spencer a wink at that, what did that mean? Assuming Hanna got the slight raise of the brunettes' eyebrow, "like I mean, there's a lot of girls to choose from, and Emily's probably one of the hottest Lesbos I know!" They laughed a little together; Spencer's smile doesn't fade. It felt good knowing her friends were still totally there for her. Her and Hanna talked for a few minutes, and then Hanna stood with Emily's drink,

"Wait, let me bring it to her!" Spencer exclaimed, "she hasn't even noticed me, and I want to ask her about school." she explains after the blonde's quizzical stare, she passed her the drink. Spencer stood up, and suddenly butterflies and belly worms attacked her inner stomach, what was the cause of this? Her walk slowed, as she looked up to see Emily in a heated make out session with this other girl, she decided to be cool about it.

"Hey Em, your ice is melting." she simply said, suddenly Emily stopped, completely leaving the other girl hanging,

"Oh my god! Spence!" the taller, darker girl grabbed up all the skin and bones Spencer had to offer. Spencer relaxed into the embrace, why was this calming her down? She pushed her thoughts away and pulled away, matching her smile with that of Emily's. They stood there for a moment as Emily grabbed the drink from Spencer's clutches. "Give me one minute, okay?" Spencer nodded as Emily turned around whispering something in the random girls ear. Spencer cleared her throat,

"Who's your friend, Em?" she asked politely, Emily kissed the girl and gave her a little shove in the opposite direction.

"Doesn't matter! So what's up? How's Penn State treating you? I love it here, I never thought it'd be so easy to get girls, and I don't even have to be serious, feels good knowing I'm that hot." she stated boldly, Spencer frowned a little.

"Yeah, well college has been hard on me, I didn't even know you went here, I hope that now you'll spend more time with me, no one really gets me here, it's disappointing." she replied with a mono tone, wishing her social life was as exciting as Emily's. Emily's face seemed to understand, but soon she was looking beyond Spencer, her attention caught up in something else.

"Hey Spence, can you do me a huge favor?" she suddenly Asked randomly.

"Uh, sure" she reluctantly replied, Emily scooted closer placing her head on the side of Spencer's so she could whisper in her ear,

"There's a girl over at the bar, and she's been following me ever since we slept together, like she doesn't get the point, will you come dance with me, so maybe she thinks were together and backs the fuck off." Spencer slowly turned her head to look at the girl; she was absolutely gorgeous, as she compared her to herself. Emily pulled on Spencer's hand, "please Spence?" she looked into her pleading eyes, how could she say no to that? She grabbed Emily's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor.

"I could just beat her ass for you!" Spencer joked as she tugged on the darker girls hand, weaving through people. Emily laughed,

"Wow profanity Spencer! I guess college has had some effect on you!" she joked.

"Either that or the alcohol." Spencer muttered under her breath. She stopped in the middle of the crowded dance floor, placed Emily's hands on her hips and began grinding to a sexy slow pace song that had come on a minute ago. She felt one of the girl's hands on her stomach, pulling her closer. The skinnier brunette pulled her long locks to one side and brought her hand up to Emily's face. She pulled her closer to her own ear, her butt pushing and grinding against the raven-haired girls front. Little did Spencer know Emily was getting extremely aroused.

"Who would've thought Spencer Hastings knew how to dance." Emily's tone came out huskier then she meant, it sent shivers down the brunettes spine as she bent over and dropped it low, bringing it back up and throwing Emily a sexy look over her shoulder. What had gotten into her? They both pondered the same thought. Spencer continued bumping and grinding all over the taller girl, who just tried to keep up- she had never seen this badass side to Spencer before. Although, she was sure Spencer felt the same about her. Emily had changed a lot since Maya had died and they put A to rest. Her total mindset was different, all she cared about was her family, friends, and future career, the sex and alcohol just helped numb her feelings.

The song finally ended and Spencer took a step out of Emily's personal space. The taller girl pulled her back, quickly burying her head in the brunette's neck and hair. God, she smelled so good, just how Emily remembered. "Spence, hold on, she's staring at us." Spencer threw her head back and laughed sexily, throwing her hands around Emily's neck, playing along. She pulled away slightly and turned to look behind her, the girl was glaring and sneering at them. The brunette winked, sending the girl spiraling and walking off in a huff.

"I think your good Em." she said removing her hands from Emily's body. The darker girl pulled away as well smiling a bit wider then Spencer had seen all night.

"Little happy there Em?" she asked a little bashfully.

"Well yeeeah, I'm super excited to see you, and Aria's here too right?" The brunette nodded her answer silently; smile matching Emily's now. "Well I for one am shocked, that girl would usually pick a fight with girls that are with me. She's crazy Spence, I'll explain later, let's find the girls!" she tugged Spencer's hand in the direction of the bar. They found Hanna where hey left her,

"Han where's Aria?" Spencer asked

"She told me to give this to you," she replied handing the brunette a piece of newspaper with sharpie scribbled in Aria's handwriting. It read:

Please don't hate me! I'll be back at your place tomorrow morning, just couldn't resist slipping out!

xxx

Aria

Spencer zoned out, she was so looking forward to having someone there when she woke up for once. She set the napkin on the bar next to Emily, who was ordering another round for her and Hannah. She flagged the bartender down and turned to Spencer, she glanced over reading the note aria left, and noticed the now dismal brunette to her left,

"Spence? You okay?" the skinnier girl shrugged,

"Yeah, just ... A little lonely lately, it's been so long since a friend was just here for me, someone to talk to, ya know?"

"Believe me Spencer, I get It." she replied giving the brunettes hand a gentle squeeze, "Your gonna come sleep at my dorm, okay?" she directed at spencer "Jill! Can you grab me 5 shots of jack please!" she yelled the bartenders name.

"Not that I care either way, but I have my own apartment on campus, it's bigger, more private, and you can use my shower without 3-5 other girls in the room, what'd you think? Come spend the night, you and Hanna, and I'll make you breakfast in the morning!" she started getting giddy, Emily turned away for a moment to grab her drinks, and slipped - Jill- a piece of paper. Spencer assumed it was her number, damn; Emily was quite the mac these days. Finally the raven-haired girl turned her attention back to her friend.

"Sorry about that." she gave an 'oopsie' facial expression, "and yes, your place sounds like a much needed break away! Cheers!" She handed Spencer a shot. They clinked their glasses, and downed the liquor. The brunette felt her body get warm and fuzzy as she looked over to Emily who grabbed another shot and gulped it down. She couldn't get over how much she seemed to change, but still, she was her charming Emily self at the core.

"Hey guys, Caleb's flight just landed I'm gonna go pick him up! Should I call you later? Or should we just meet up for breakfast tomorrow morning?" the blonde asked her friends.

"Definitely breakfast Han, go! Have fun. Get your sexy on, I'll call you when we wake up tomorrow morning." Emily replied hugging her friend. Spencer followed in suit,

"It was great seeing you tonight Han, I'll see you tomorrow!" they smiled at each other, before the blonde grabbed her coat and left with the wave of her hand. Emily downed her 3rd shot in a row,

"I totally forgot his flight came in tonight, Guess it's just us! You okay with that? Because I can go home..." her voice trailed off as she looked into Spencer's eyes, the brunette got lost for a minute. It was the first time she had really looked into Emily's eyes, she wasn't surprised to see the same hurt in her eyes that she saw only a year earlier. This was just an act; as if the darker girl sensed Spencer probing she turned to face the bar again. The brunette watched as her friend downed her last shot.

"Em slow down, I'd like it if you were coherent when we go home, and of course I still want you to come over! I'm excited for it." her voice lowered when she said the last part.

"Good! Me too! I'm just going to grab one more, I'm fine Spence, and I'm not as lightweight as I used to be! Have another one?" she asked hesitantly, looking at the brunette. She appeared to be thinking about it. "It's one shot Spence!" she laughed, "I'm grabbing you one!" the slightly taller girl flagged the blonde bartender over once again. Spencer watched an interesting scene unfold as the girl propped 5 glasses onto the counter, pouring the brown liquor into each. Emily easier an eyebrow, "I only wanted-"

"These are on me," the girl interjected with a flirtatious smile; "cheers!" she raised a glass to Emily who did the same. They both turned to Spencer, she giggled and grabbed a glass, clinking with them before swishing the whiskey down.

"Enjoy your night Emily." Jill finished pulling the darker girl to give her a kiss on the cheek before returning to several other customers.

"I don't get how All of a sudden every girl on campus wants you Em. I'm kind of impressed." the brunette stated watching Jill walk away in amazement.

"Kind of?" Emily asked with a flirty grin, while handing 1 of the 2 shots left on the counter. 'Was that flirting?' Spencer thought to her self, the effects of alcohol were starting to catch up to her. They clinked one last time finishing up, Emily stuffed a twenty-rolled bill into one of the glasses and grabbed her jacket. "You ready to get out of here? I wanna stop by the liquor store before they close." she helped Spencer to her feet entwining their arms as they walked out of the campus club.

"More alcohol?" Spencer asked quietly, "You really can hold your booze."

"You can never have to much alcohol, Spence! This is college!" Emily threw her left arm around Spencer's shoulders and pulled the brunette into her side. "Where's your apartment?" she asked.

"Its on Park Ave, should I-"

"Oh okay, there's a liquor store on the corner up ahead, we'll just stop there." the taller girl interrupted, Spencer smiled and entwined there arms.

"Little buzzed, Em?" she asked, laughing a little.

"Maybe, a little." she smiled locking eyes with the brunette who averted her eyes and looked down shyly. "You seem so shy, that's so unlike you."

"Your one to talk, Miss. Get wasted and sleep with whoever, whenever. College effects people differently, I'm Just not in my environment- anymore." she said in huff, Emily stepped in her line of walking, causing Spencer to stop in her tracks and look into the raven haired girls' eyes.

"I wasn't saying it was a bad thing, I know partying has never been your thing. But hey, no judgment from me, okay?" before the brunette could answer Emily continued, "I mean if anyone's being judged..." Spencer's eyes widened upon realizing what the girl was referring to,

"Oh no! Em, I didn't mean it like that! I just mean, your so comfortable here, and I'm a little out of place." she looked at her feet and shrugged.

"I know Spence, don't sweat it, come inside with me?" she asked grabbing her hand pulling her into a discrete hole in the wall that turned out to be a fully stacked liquor store. Emily loosely walked around; she grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey, a bottle of Chablis, and a pint of grey goose vodka. She watched as Spencer's jaw seemed to drop as she paid for the items at the counter. "Can I have a few of those 12oz red-bulls? Please." she told the girl at the counter.

"Sure thing Emily, Good night at the club?" the cashier asked her, again spencer giggled. The girl was dark, with the cutest little mohawk, skinny like herself with a boyish swag to her wardrobe.

"Oh you know, same 'ol!" she smiled handing her some twenties, "Isn't my date fine?" she suggested to the girl, who giggled and eyed spencer up and down,

"Absolutely." she simply said not taking her eyes off of the brunette. Emily grabbed her paper bag of goods, pulling spencer by her waist. Once outside she let her go and laughed out loud.

"She totally wanted you, and you seemed interested yourself Spence, anything you want to tell me." she joked, nudging the brunette. Spencer shrugged and looked down yet again, "Damn girl, I'm gonna need to get some whiskey in you, your never so quiet!" Emily pulled the bottle of vodka out of her bag and cracked it open, taking a big swig. She handed it to spencer, who took a smaller sip and passed it back to the darker girl.

"Em, How'd you know you liked girls?" She looked up as Emily choked slightly on the vodka she was sipping; wiping her mouth she looked at spencer.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed, "your totally into chicks! Oh my god Spencer, that's so exciting!"

"Emily! I don't even know if I am or not! I'm just feeling weird lately! And, I don't know, as of recent, girls have oddly been turning me on." she stated rather point blank.

"There's the spencer i know!" Emily replied taking another sip of the clear liquid.

+Later that evening, upon arriving at spencer's loft+

They walked up the stairs to the top floor of a 3-story house. Spencer fiddled with her keys, when she finally got the door open she ushered Emily inside. The taller girl took in the brunette's surroundings. You walk into the kitchen and all of her counters (etc.) were to the right, and then there's a small stair case to the left that divided into two flights going at a 90 degree angle to the loft, that makes Spencer's bedroom. Her living room is connected to the kitchen divided by an island table with bar stools. The bathroom is off of the living room to the right.

Emily walked into living room, placing the bag on he counter, as she went up to the big bay window over looking their campus.

"Wow Spence, your place is great... Why haven't you thrown a little party? We could have a good time here. The clubs around here get old." she turned around shrugged her coat off, placing it on the back of a stool. Sitting down, she watched Spencer walk up the first flight of stairs to her loft stopping on the platform to hang her jacket on one of the hangers that littered the wall there. Emily suddenly felt nervous; something wasn't settling right with her. "Then again we could just have the girls over, like old times..." Spencer turned around coming down the stairs and smiled at the taller girl. She was being oddly quiet, Emily scanned the room for a digital clock, on the cable box, it read 11:15. She couldn't be tired already, could she? The brunette slipped below the counter and came up placing 4 glasses on the counter.

"Do a shot with me, Emily." was all she said in a rather sultry tone. Emily got up off the couch and moved swiftly to the brunette's side, and watched as she poured two shots of whiskey, from Emily's brown bag. The darker girl pulled out the red-bull to chase it with, pouring Spencer and herself a glass. They both raised a glass,

"Here's to moving on from the bullshit and becoming something great." Spencer tried, Emily laughed slightly,

"Cheers to that." they smiled at each other and chased the whiskey down with their red-bull. "So what happened to Toby, Spence? If you don't mind me asking..." she asked nervous for the answer.

*Please be over, please be somewhere with Jenna* the darker girl thought to herself.

"Oh, we've been done, for a while now. I'm finally just… over it. We're friends, and it's working for us. I miss him sometimes... But I'm done crying over him." Emily listened; surprised the brunette was so okay. She was still dealing with Maya's death, but since she started 'seeing' Alyssa things had been easier. Spencer sensed the taller girls deep thoughts, "it's okay to be hurting Em, but drowning that pain in alcohol and sex and whatever else you're doing isn't okay." Emily laughed,

"Spence, I'm good. Especially right now." she said flirtatiously. Spencer smiled widely raising an eyebrow.

"I think you've drank enough, love." she replied. Again Emily smirked,

"When I'm face planted on your floor then, maybe, I've had enough." they both laughed. "I'm so happy to be with you right now. I'm getting sick of the same 'ol bullshit." Spencer had confusion written all over her face,

"You seem to love this new found lifestyle?" she questioned the darker girl.

"Yeah it's fun, but you have no idea how intense the whole thing is."

"Emily, what are you talking about? Am I missing something?" the skinnier girl asked.

"Yeah, but forget it, I'm about to drink you under the table and explore that curious side you got going on." she nudged Spencer, and smiled her glowing, full tooth smile.

"Your never going to forget that, are you?" she replied quietly

"Oh come on, Spence, I was the only girl in our group who liked chicks! Now that your diggin' them too, I'm all about it!" she laughed at the brunette's eyes rolling, and poured two more shots.

+ 45 minutes, and 6 shots later+

Emily cracked the last of the red-bull and gave Spencer a wide smile,

"One more?" She asked, Spencer clearly intoxicated slurred,

"Last... One. I'm going to bed after, and so- so are you." she replied slowly. Reluctantly the taller girl poured two more shots as they downed the whiskey finishing the last of the red-bull. "Gaahhh, I'm wasted Emily. I don't know how you do this... Let's sleep, please?" The raven-haired girl laughed and grabbed the brunette's hand.

"Okay but were cuddling!" she giggled as Spencer rolled her eyes.

"I'm okay with that." she smiled her best flirty smile, for the state she was in, as Emily pulled her upstairs to her bed.

They crashed down on the bed, Spencer pulling the blankets up around them as Emily wrapped one arm around the brunette pulling her close. The skinnier girl snuggled into the embrace. For the first time since college started she felt at peace, and very happy to be in the arms of someone she loved.