I do not own Smurfs.

Send in your Smurf one-shot requests if you have any. I have a few rules, though. No slash or femslash, no material that would be in an M rated fic and no severe Brainy bashing.

A Smurfy Food Fight

The sun was high in the blue sky, casting a gentle heat down on the lush forest and the bustling, mushroom village that was nestled within it. The little blue creatures that inhabited said village were not smurfing by the creek or playing in the heart of the village. They were all crowded in the dining hall for lunch, eagerly awaiting Chef Smurf's latest meal (Greedy more so than the others).

Well...almost all the Smurfs.

"Gee," Clumsy said in concern as he peered around the wide dining hall, surveying his fellow Smurfs for one in particular. "Where'd Brainy smurf off to?"

A snicker erupted from the other side of the table. Hefty Smurf glanced up with a grin. "He's probably straggling back to the village at the moment."

"Hefty! Not again." Smurfette frowned at the burly Smurf in disapproval. Brainy definitely could get annoying (most of the time, he was) but really, one day Hefty was going to smurf him too hard and they would all regret it. "What if he gets caught by Gargamel? Or smurfed by Azrael?"

"Relax!" Hefty soothed. "I know exactly where I smurf him. It's never near Gargamel's hovel or Azrael's hunting grounds."

The door to the dining hall slammed open then and Brainy Smurf stood framed in the doorway, covered in dirt stains and panting heavily.

"Speak of the Smurf!" Gutsy laughed as Brainy stumbled into the hall. He shot a glare at the two at the end of the table and slumped beside his best friend.

"Very funny! I think I sprained my smurf." Brainy winced as he tried to adjust into a comfortable position on the hard wooden bench. "When will you stop smurfing me out of the village?"

"When you stop being a smurfing nuisance," Hefty retorted, a smirk playing on his lips. The Smurfs in the hall giggled at Brainy's indigent expression. It was often when the two were at ends with each other, and it always ended up with Hefty being the victor.

"Uh, here Brainy! Maybe some lunch will make ya feel better!" Clumsy urged, nudging a bowl full of smurfberry salad in front of the bespectacled smurf.

Brainy sighed heavily and picked up a fork, viciously stabbing it into the bowl and spearing a clump of blue berries and leafy greens. He picked off a berry and (although it wasn't very smurfy of him) pretended it was Hefty and squashed it, the blue juice tricking down his fingers.

"Papa Smurf says it's not very smurfy to play with our food," a mocking, young voice called from the other side of the hall.

All the Smurfs burst into laughter upon hearing Brainy's famous phrase being thrown back at him. Snappy Smurfling gave a high-five to his best friend Slouchy before turning around and grinning crookedly at the intellect.

Brainy scowled back. In a foul mood due to being smurfed out of the village for the umpteenth time, he grabbed a dinner roll from the platter in the middle of the table and tossed it across the hall without really thinking his actions through. It struck Snappy in the forehead, causing the Smurfling to yelp in shock.

"Brainy!" Smurfette scolded. "That wasn't very smurfy of you!"

"Neither is insulting and kicking your fellow Smurf!" Brainy muttered back, only feeling slightly guilty of what he had done. The strings of guilt vanished when four handfuls of smurfberries nailed him in the side of the face.

"Smurfy aim!" Slouchy cheered.

Brainy gingerly wiped the sticky juice from his cheek and glanced up. The four Smurflings (who did almost everything together) were standing on the wooden bench, holding items of food and staring at him with grins of anticipation. They were expecting the Smurf to either back down or attack.

Refusing to admit defeat, Brainy accepted the challenge and flung the rest of his salad across the hall.

Snappy, Nat and Slouchy dove off of the bench and to the floor to avoid being hit. Sassette didn't have much luck and got splattered by smurfberry dressing. Hardly caring about her soiled pink overalls, she retaliated by throwing a roll slathered with butter. Her aim was a little off and Smurfette managed to avoid it just in time.

"Gee, sorry Smurfette!" Sassette called.

Smurfette glanced around and noticed that everysmurf had crawled underneath the wooden tables to avoid being struck by the flying food. She quickly joined them, squeezing in between Clumsy and Grouchy.

"I've never seen Brainy like this before," Clumsy remarked, slightly concerned by Brainy's behaviour.

Smurfette studied her white dress for any imperfections. "I think Brainy's gone off the smurf end."

Grouchy grinned. "Yeah, you gave him a few too many bonks, Hefty."

Brainy weaved through the hall, balancing two of Baker's pies in his hands. He tossed one at Nat, who was briefly distracted. The Smurfling let out a yelp of surprise as the pastry slammed into the side of his head. Slouchy and Snappy, armed with smurfberries, pelted them at the bespectacled Smurf relentlessly. The fruit nailed Brainy in the face and his glasses, causing the world to have a bluish tint.

"Smurf him, Sassy!" Slouchy called to the female Smurfling.

She grinned and obeyed, flinging the last bowl of salad in Brainy's direction. He didn't avoid it in time and the bowl landed directly on his head, dressing and lettuce dripping down his face and body.

"Smurfit..." Brainy muttered softly. He pulled the glass bowl off of his head and slammed it on the food-splattered tabletop. A jug of juice rested, untouched, in the middle of the table. He snagged it and quickly cornered an unarmed Snappy against the wooden door.

"Gotcha!" Brainy cackled and flung the contents at him. Just as he let the juice fly out of the pitcher, someone opened the door, causing Snappy to topple backwards. Instead of the juice striking him, it hit an unsuspecting Papa Smurf.

The glass pitcher crashed to the floor and shattered into pieces as a stunned Brainy gaped at what he had done. He slowly glanced around that hall and noticed, clearly, for the first time the sticky floors and broken dishes. He nervously wiped the juice off of his lenses and gulped.

Papa was currently frozen in the doorway, a look of shock on his face. The juice trickled down into his white beard and stained it red. "Brainy..."

"I'm sorry!" Brainy cried. "It...it was meant for Snappy."

The Smurfs were crawling out from under the tables now. Amusement was written on all of their faces and the Smurflings dutifully came to stand by Brainy with sheepish expressions.

"Before you say anything, he started it!" Snappy quickly said, pointing an accusing finger at the intellect.

"I did n-!" Brainy started to shout, but recalled that the bread roll first thrown had been his. Ashamed of his behaviour, he slumped.

Papa stared at him for a long moment before he casually reached out and picked up the last remaining pie off of the nearest table. Brainy's eyes grew comically wide as he slowly moved backwards. "Uh...Papa?"

Papa had a rather boyish grin on his face. Brainy yelped and made a break for the open window, only to have a flying pie slam into the back of his head.

"Good one, Pappy!" Sassette giggled.

Papa grinned. "Well, this is rather unsmurfy behaviour, but I think I can let this one go. Of course, you five will have to clean up the dining hall. Brainy, did you really start all this?"

Brainy crawled across the wooden floor, feeling for the glasses that flew off his face when the pie struck him. Everything was black, blue and blurry. "Yes, Papa Smurf. Sorry, Papa Smurf. I kind of forgot myself."

Hefty bent down and scooped up the thick black glasses that had landed by his feet. "Here, Brainy." He scrubbed them clean before he slipped them over Brainy's eyes.

"Thanks," he muttered. His stomach growled and he groaned. "Er...Chef..."

Chef pushed back his chef's hat and grinned knowingly. "I think I can smurf up something, so long as you can control yourself."

Papa clapped his hands. "All right, my little Smurfs. Let's let them clean up in here so we can have a clean hall to eat dinner in."

With the exception of Brainy and the Smurflings, everysmurf filed out, laughing and chatting. Papa glanced at them in amusement before leaving as well. After gathering some buckets with soap and water and some cloths, the group of food-covered Smurfs got to work.

"Smurfaroo!" Sassette giggled as she scrubbed at a table. "That was fun!"

"Ya know, Brainy, I thought you would've smurfed out," Snappy remarked. "But you put up a pretty smurfy fight!"

"Thanks," Brainy muttered as he dunked his cloth into the warm water. "But it's never going to happen again."

The Smurflings exchanged mischievous glances.

That's what Brainy thought.